Giving up seats on public transport

dbnavan

I was on the Luas yesterday and this woman got on I'd say in her in early 50's and she is talking to another woman kind of looking at me at the same time she said "Gone are the days when a young fella would offer you a seat..". This woman was about the same age as my mother so by no means old IMO.

So with that just out of almost embarrressment I relucatly got up and offered her my seat. At which time she noticed my Cerebral palsy and says "Ah god love, i did mean you" So I looked around and said "funny that I am the only "young fella" in carraige, your complaining so you obviously require a seat more then I do"

So she sits down in my seat and continues speaking to the same woman, and she goes "You know there all concerned with their computers and iPods, then looking out for other" At which point it was like shaking a red rag to a bull, and I said "I'd hardly say all cause this one just gave you a seat".

Now if an elderly or pregnant woman had got on the train I would be the first out of a seat to offer it up, but this woman was unreal.

The Gnome

dbnavan wrote:

Now if an elderly or pregnant woman had got on the train I would be the first out of a seat to offer it up.

Ditto.
She sounds like an auls bag tbh. Some people are just born moaners (in the bad way). Pay them no heed and they'll simply vanish into the ether. Failing that just start mumbling loudly about how much you'd "love to stab someone right about now."

Terry

some people are just assholes.
it's the way of the world.

Evil_Bilbo

an uncle of mine recently hit a landmark in that someone offered him their seat on the luas (he's not that old) - he decided to take it, and now has it in his head to write an essay on "the politics of offering/taking seats on public transport"

If I see an auld fella/wan (or preggers), I'll usually offer them my seat (they'd have to be very old tho), but if I'm tired/hungover, they can fúck right off. I need it more than them.

and as for people "expecting" someone to offer them a seat? Sheesh! And complaining loudly that no one is offering them a seat? Thats ridiculous - first come, first served old lady. We dont owe you anything. Take a fúking ticket and get in line with the rest of us. OP - you shouldve stood with your arse in her face and farted noisily for the whole journey.

Lothaar

I was in Dunnes Stores last night. A woman carrying a basket was walking down the aisle in front of me. Two old biddies come around the corner, one of them pulling one of those wheely-bag-things that old biddies always have. They were walking side-by-side in a fairly narrow aisle. The bag-puller made no effort to allow the woman with the basket to get by, and the basket clattered off her wheely-bag.
She turned to her friend and sneered loudly: "Jaysus, some people will just walk into you, they're so rude..."

As far as I could see it was at LEAST as much her fault as the woman with the basket. Some people are d1cks.

dbnavan

Evil_Bilbo wrote:

an uncle of mine recently hit a landmark in that someone offered him their seat on the luas (he's not that old) - he decided to take it, and now has it in his head to write an essay on "the politics of offering/taking seats on public transport"

If I see an auld fella/wan (or preggers), I'll usually offer them my seat (they'd have to be very old tho), but if I'm tired/hungover, they can fúck right off. I need it more than them.

and as for people "expecting" someone to offer them a seat? Sheesh! And complaining loudly that no one is offering them a seat? Thats ridiculous - first come, first served old lady. We dont owe you anything. Take a fúking ticket and get in line with the rest of us. OP - you shouldve stood with your arse in her face and farted noisily for the whole journey.

Humorous Factor 8/10
Realistic Factor 1/10
Probabilty of a mod not finding it suitable post - Depends on humor of the mods I suppose over 5/10 I'd say

mountainyman

Evil Bilbo wrote:

If I see an auld fella/wan (or preggers)...if I'm tired/hungover, they can fúck right off. I need it more than them.
first come, first served old lady. We dont owe you anything. Take a fúking ticket and get in line with the rest of us.

Julep wrote:

some people are just assholes.
it's the way of the world.

MM

Wigertoods

Offering a seat to an elder is one thing,but aul hags that just think it's their god given right to be given a seat should be told to fcuk off.

Evil_Bilbo

thanks for the rating dbnavan - pardon my language in the previous post - things like this just bug me.

In fairness - why should you offer up your seat if you're knackered and glad of it yourself? Make your journey hell for them and then then they still have to crib about something. Some auld ones (like the one in the op) think all young men are fit and able bodied and should respect them enough to give up their seats?

I do offer my seat up if I see someone who looks like they need it, but its not something that should be done automatically out of "manners / respect" for every old person you see.

after all, I paid for the seat - they didnt

solskjaer20

Well I'd usually offer an biddy my seat, but not someone in their 50's.

dbnavan

Evil_Bilbo wrote:

thanks for the rating dbnavan - pardon my language in the previous post - things like this just bug me.

In fairness - why should you offer up your seat if you're knackered and glad of it yourself? Make your journey hell for them and then then they still have to crib about something. Some auld ones (like the one in the op) think all young men are fit and able bodied and should respect them enough to give up their seats?

I do offer my seat up if I see someone who looks like they need it, but its not something that should be done automatically out of "manners / respect" for every old person you see.

after all, I paid for the seat - they didnt

Well in that case I wasnt entitled to the seat either as I have a travel pass. That isnt an arguement anyway, them seats are paid for, by the government.

Morlar

If they are pregnant or elderly (like grey hair frail looking) I would - if not then no.

hepcat

Elderly people do need the seat far more than a young able-bodied man or woman, hungover or not. They are far more frail and can't really take being jolted around a moving bus / packed carriage. Ditto heavily pregnant women. "I've paid for the seat and I've a hangover so they can **** off"...just listen to yourself, you're what's wrong with the world today. A bit of humanity and respect for other people are basics...what kind of upbringing did you have? Pampered little twerp.:rolleyes:

seamus

Pregnant or elderly: Yes. Young (as in toddler): Yes. Everyone else: Piss off.

In this day and age you're just as likely to get an earful about women's lib for offering your seat to a woman.

Oriel

seamus wrote:

Pregnant or elderly: Yes. Young (as in toddler): Yes. Everyone else: Piss off.

Same.

simu

Wah, I'm pregnant and people never give me seats! So, I've stopped going on public transport at peak hours. Although, come to think of it, I'd probably just be annoyed if someone did offer me a seat - human relations on buses are just too poisoned these days to believe they were doing it out of the goodness of their hearts! It's a minefield out there with nothing but the thin shield of an mP3 playa for protection!

hepcat

seamus wrote:

Pregnant or elderly: Yes. Young (as in toddler): Yes. Everyone else: Piss off.

In this day and age you're just as likely to get an earful about women's lib for offering your seat to a woman.

Do you think you sound hard or something with the "everyone else; piss off"? No-one else is asking for your precious seat you know.

I've yet to see anyone offering a toddler their seat - how do you go about that:D "Young chap, I see you're a bit unsteady on those wobbly legs. Please do take my seat"

padi89

I find ear/headphones usually does the trick,im oblivious to everyone!

Piste

I was sitting on the luas across from a girl when this couple who were I'd say in their 60s got on, I was staring out the window and didn't notice them but after a few minutes I noticed the girl across from me had given up her seat to the husband so I gave mine up for the wife (and it probably looked like I only did it cos the girl did) then when I got off the luas I could hear the woman behind me laughing and saying "That's the first time anyone's ever given up their seat for me" and then I felt bad for probably making her feel old.

Wing Walker

hepcat wrote:

Do you think you sound hard or something with the "everyone else; piss off"? No-one else is asking for your precious seat you know.

All he's saying is that he would give up his seat, as much as most other people here, for an elderly or pregnant person or basically someone who really needs it.

And I happen to agree with Evil Bilbo, if I'm completely knackered then I'm staying put. If not then I'll gladly make sure that someone who needs the seat more gets it. It's rarely that I wouldn't give up my seat but that's just me. You can't impose your morals, "humanity" or up-bringing on someone else!

bonkey

In my experience, anyone asking for a seat generally has a reason for doing so.

I don't rule out that there are some out there with jumped-up senses of self-importance who believe it is their right to a seat, but personally I've never run into them.

Thing is that I recognise that its not always apparent whether or not someone needs a seat. If someone asks me for my seat, then personally I need a reason to say no rather than a reason to say yes. I'm not qualified to diagnose someone's medical condition at a glance, so I'm not going to take the hard-man "p1ss off" approach espoused here by others.

Having said that, I have *no* time for a related habit that I see constantly on the trains over here in Switzerland. Ppl put their bag beside them, so they don't have to sit beside anyone. Some even then pretend to be asleep so you can't ask them to move it (seriously...train approaches a stop, head goes down, eyes close. Train moves off....they "wake up". Next station, same story). I will always go for one of these spaces rather than a properly- empty one. If they appear to be asleep, I either move their bag myself, or try and wake them to ask them to move it. Its amazing how quickly "sleeping" people wake up when you move stuff thats not touching them.

bonkey

Wing Walker wrote:

or basically someone who really needs it.

Eh, no.

Basically someone who obviously really needs it.

There is a significant difference.

Orion

seamus wrote:

Pregnant or elderly: Yes. Young (as in toddler): Yes. Everyone else: Piss off.

In this day and age you're just as likely to get an earful about women's lib for offering your seat to a woman.

And rightly so - these bra-burning feminists wanted equality so they've got it *

As for giving up my seat - I always have one on my train. Morning in Maynooth - first stop. Evening in Connolly - get the 6pm express with a seat. But if an elderly person or a pregnant woman or a mother with a babe-in-arms (rare on a commuter train) is standing I'll offer it without a thought. Pregnant women are carrying a lot of weight around - it's the decent thing to do. And I believe that a society can be judged on how it treats it's elderly citizens.

*This is a joke by the way - sort of

Wing Walker

bonkey wrote:

Eh, no.

Basically someone who obviously really needs it.

There is a significant difference.

Obviously that's what I meant. I know that it's difficult to see that someone might have MS or some such illness.

But perhaps you're right. If somebody without an obvious illness was to explain that they needed the seat then I certainly wouldn't have a problem. But then again, they might feel awkward about saying something like that.

Orion

bonkey wrote:

Having said that, I have *no* time for a related habit that I see constantly on the trains over here in Switzerland. Ppl put their bag beside them, so they don't have to sit beside anyone. Some even then pretend to be asleep so you can't ask them to move it (seriously...train approaches a stop, head goes down, eyes close. Train moves off....they "wake up". Next station, same story). I will always go for one of these spaces rather than a properly- empty one.

That happens here a lot too. Pig-ignorant if you ask me. Also on some jammed trains you have people sitting sprawled out in the space at the doors - taking up the space of at least 3 or 4 people and they don't give ****.

seamus

hepcat wrote:

Do you think you sound hard or something with the "everyone else; piss off"? No-one else is asking for your precious seat you know.

:rolleyes:

I've yet to see anyone offering a toddler their seat - how do you go about that:D "Young chap, I see you're a bit unsteady on those wobbly legs. Please do take my seat"

Well, if there was a toddler on public transport all alone, giving him my seat would be least of my concerns.

Standing on public transport with a small child is a pain in the ass. Add the fact that if the bus brakes or turns heavily, a child is more likely to fall over and hit their head on something solid. A parent will be extremely relieved if you offer up your seat for their young child.

Beetlebum

Piste wrote:

I was sitting on the luas across from a girl when this couple who were I'd say in their 60s got on, I was staring out the window and didn't notice them but after a few minutes I noticed the girl across from me had given up her seat to the husband so I gave mine up for the wife (and it probably looked like I only did it cos the girl did) then when I got off the luas I could hear the woman behind me laughing and saying "That's the first time anyone's ever given up their seat for me" and then I felt bad for probably making her feel old.

Aaaawwwww, I don't know why but reading that just made me feel really sad

snickerpuss

I'd happily give it to an elderly or pregnant person but some of them are very fussy.
My boyfriend offered his seat to an old woman and she wouldn't take it because she wanted to sit in a different seat, "I want that one over there" so he said suit yourself and she ended up standing.

hepcat

CHrist, it really seems to be the thing now to make a huge deal about the grumpy oul wan, who didn't deserve your time / seat / sympathy. FFS, cop on! So what if some little old lady turns out to be a wagon...that's the way it goes, old people get like that and we've all had to deal with them. It's no skin off your nose surely? And ungrateful / undeserving elderly recipients of your bounty and kindness are the minority, and you know it.

There are so many people on these forums who spout on and on wtih their liberal and socialist ideals, who abhor the injustices the see in the world, who would have you think they are right-minded, well-informed, tolerant people - and yet they cannot stand (literally) to have to give up their comfort for a fellow human being who needs it, for 30 minutes! So what if you're tired or hungover, wingwalker and evil bilbo...can you honestly say you'd leave your granny stand while you rest your weary bones? Or your pregnant mother or sister? I am not trying to impose my morals on you - how could I FFS? - but I am saying that I find your snivelling and selfish attitude utterly sickening.

Hagar

Beetlebum wrote:

Aaaawwwww, I don't know why but reading that just made me feel really sad

Tell me about it. I was offered a seat once, it wouldn't have been so bad only she was a lovely girl. I should have offered to let her sit on my lap.:o

Sam Vimes

i always give up my seat. i keep a box of thumb tacks in my pocket for just such occasions

Lister1

Would offer a seat to a pregnant women no problem but it would have to be an obvious pregnancy just incase she was a fat bird.

Would have to be 80+ for me to offer a seat to a old person. IMO they shouldnt be travelling at peak times anyway.

Orion

Lister1 wrote:

IMO they shouldnt be travelling at peak times anyway.

In fact they shouldn't be let out of their nursing homes until after the pubs close. And don't get me started about the cheek of them being in line ahead of me at the supermarket. :rolleyes:

[/sarcasm]

projectmayhem

i never really had to give my seat up as my bus comes regularly enough to not usually be stuffed to bits (except in the evening coming home, but i usually sit upstairs anyway)... but i would have no issue in giving up my seat if needs be.

the thing is, i suffer from chronic back pain (my body hates me, etc.), and if i start to "feel the burn" and i'm standing, i never have the guts to ask to sit down, because i know they'll look up at me (for all intensive purposes fit and healthy 21 year old man) and scoff...

Victor

In New York they have "not every disability is visible" messages.

Kintarō Hattori

hepcat wrote:

CHrist, it really seems to be the thing now to make a huge deal about the grumpy oul wan, who didn't deserve your time / seat / sympathy. FFS, cop on! So what if some little old lady turns out to be a wagon...that's the way it goes, old people get like that and we've all had to deal with them. It's no skin off your nose surely? And ungrateful / undeserving elderly recipients of your bounty and kindness are the minority, and you know it.

There are so many people on these forums who spout on and on wtih their liberal and socialist ideals, who abhor the injustices the see in the world, who would have you think they are right-minded, well-informed, tolerant people - and yet they cannot stand (literally) to have to give up their comfort for a fellow human being who needs it, for 30 minutes! So what if you're tired or hungover, wingwalker and evil bilbo...can you honestly say you'd leave your granny stand while you rest your weary bones? Or your pregnant mother or sister? I am not trying to impose my morals on you - how could I FFS? - but I am saying that I find your snivelling and selfish attitude utterly sickening.

I couldn't agree with you more. What about a bit of cop-on here folks? You don't have to give up the seat, but the fact of the matter is sometimes some people need it more.

dbnavan

Lister1 wrote:

Would offer a seat to a pregnant women no problem but it would have to be an obvious pregnancy just incase she was a fat bird.

Would have to be 80+ for me to offer a seat to a old person. IMO they shouldnt be travelling at peak times anyway.

Firstly its not always that hard to tell the difference in a fat woman and a pregnant, they carry it different.

As for old people travelling at peak times, they cant use free travel, until 9.30 am and between 4.30 and 6.30**


**Times are something like that not entirely sure

Wishbone Ash

I was driving a bus recently and assisted a wheelchair passenger to board. The bus has a wheelchair designated area with pop-up seats. I requested three girls to vacate the seats to accomodate the disabled passenger. They got up very reluctantly and one of them stated that she was "sick of this shít". I and other passengers thought that his reflected very badly on them particularly as they were uniformed employees of a very well known airline company

I always find it ironic that those young people who are reluctant to give up their seat on public transport don't seem to have any problem standing for hours on a football terrace on in a pub or nightclub.

Lister1

As for old people travelling at peak times, they cant use free travel, until 9.30 am and between 4.30 and 6.30**

I very much doubt the the dirver/ticket collector would charge them for traveling outside of the times though. I dont travel on buses but I know on the trains they just walk through and flash there pass.

They got up very reluctantly and one of them stated that she was "sick of this shít".

Obviously had a bad day and very pissed off that their choice of seat backfired on them. I'd feel there same but wouldn't be vocal about it.

swingking

Lister1 wrote:

Would offer a seat to a pregnant women no problem but it would have to be an obvious pregnancy just incase she was a fat bird.

Would have to be 80+ for me to offer a seat to a old person. IMO they shouldnt be travelling at peak times anyway.

A situation happened to me once when I was coming home from college. It was during the time when everyone is heading home. Anyway, I offered this woman whom I thought was pregnant a seat. I didn't mind standing as it was a short journey.

I got a mouthful when this kind gesture was made. She basically was telling me "Do you think Oim Fah, or Wha." Very embarassing

Be warned first like the above said

Wishbone Ash

swingking wrote:

A situation happened to me once when I was coming home from college. It was during the time when everyone is heading home. Anyway, I offered this woman whom I thought was pregnant a seat. I didn't mind standing as it was a short journey.

I got a mouthful when this kind gesture was made. She basically was telling me "Do you think Oim Fah, or Wha." Very embarassing

Be warned first like the above said

I usually get around that problem by vacating the seat but not making any gestures that I'm giving it to a particular passenger. They can then decide for themselves whether they wish to occupy the seat.

DonkeyStyle \o/

Victor wrote:

In New York they have "not every disability is visible" messages.

Yeah it's a good point really... pretty much exactly the point I had in my head while reading this thread.
This crap about being nagged or guilt-tripped out of your seat isn't on... for all the oul biddy knows I could have torn ligaments left right and center.
I went to school with a guy who had arthritis in both legs at 14. :eek:
I doubt anyone offered him a seat.

Most of the time if seats are scarce I don't bother sitting at all... steering clear of that whole seat-giving-up minefield completely... leaving the seats not just for old or pregnant people, but for the more tired people aswell
Really, these old biddies should try working a 12 hour shift on their feet running around all day... and if I've just spent the afternoon shopping and drinking coffee or sitting infront of a desk for 8 hours, I don't think I should be doing a knackered person out of a seat.

Mrs. MacGyver

I have a bad back and i have to sit on a bus (i'm in my 20's) and by goodness do i get strange looks when i dont give up my seat! Some older perople even jump bus queues and push you out of the way as if age gived them priority or something. If i was able to give up my seat i'd gve to to a very elderly frail person or a pregnant woman.

bizmark

Unless its an old man or some man whos visable weak/ill i wouldnt give my seat up.

I would never give my seat to a women no matter the age poor dears might get offended that im not respecting their strong independent selfs :rolleyes:

dbnavan

Lister1 wrote:

I very much doubt the the dirver/ticket collector would charge them for traveling outside of the times though. I dont travel on buses but I know on the trains they just walk through and flash there pass.

Trains are different it only applies on city bus services, Bus Eireann and Trains have no time restriction.


And I have seen it inforced many times,

InFront

I cant believe some of the responses on here. Every healthy man, in my opinion, and whether the woman likes it or not, should offer his seat to a woman who gets onto a full bus. It is her own decision to get offended or to politely refuse it or to accept it. The bus company is too polite to ever suggest such a thing by putting up signs, but I would have thought it was the decent thing to do. Now if youre physically exhausted staying seated is of course the best thing to do, but otherwise get off your ass and have some respect/ common sense/ cop on.

Im not being sexist in saying that men are physically stronger than most women, thats a fact.If a man is physically healthy its very bad manners just to sit and watch some woman, whether shes 16 or 96 or anything in between having to stand for the journey and NOT offer your seat. As I said theres no compulsion to do this or not, everyone is entitled to keep their seat, this is just my own opinion.

dbnavan

InFront wrote:

I cant believe some of the responses on here. Every healthy man, in my opinion, and whether the woman likes it or not, should offer his seat to a woman who gets onto a full bus. It is her own decision to get offended or to politely refuse it or to accept it. The bus company is too polite to ever suggest such a thing by putting up signs, but I would have thought it was the decent thing to do. Now if youre physically exhausted staying seated is of course the best thing to do, but otherwise get off your ass and have some respect/ common sense/ cop on.

Im not being sexist in saying that men are physically stronger than most women, thats a fact.If a man is physically healthy its very bad manners just to sit and watch some woman, whether shes 16 or 96 or anything in between having to stand for the journey and NOT offer your seat. As I said theres no compulsion to do this or not, everyone is entitled to keep their seat, this is just my own opinion.

I would consider myself well manner, but I think that is OTT, why should someone get a seat just cause they are a woman, your telling me there is a difference in a 20 year old man, standing and a 20 year old woman standing? I really dont get that, sorry. Women faught for so long to be treated equally so I beleive they should be. As stated before if there is a reason they need the seat by all means but not just because they are female.

bizmark

InFront wrote:

I cant believe some of the responses on here. Every healthy man, in my opinion, and whether the woman likes it or not, should offer his seat to a woman who gets onto a full bus. It is her own decision to get offended or to politely refuse it or to accept it. The bus company is too polite to ever suggest such a thing by putting up signs, but I would have thought it was the decent thing to do. Now if youre physically exhausted staying seated is of course the best thing to do, but otherwise get off your ass and have some respect/ common sense/ cop on.

Im not being sexist in saying that men are physically stronger than most women, thats a fact.If a man is physically healthy its very bad manners just to sit and watch some woman, whether shes 16 or 96 or anything in between having to stand for the journey and NOT offer your seat. As I said theres no compulsion to do this or not, everyone is entitled to keep their seat, this is just my own opinion.

As the feminist saying goes a women needs a man like a fish needs a bike so they damn well dont need my seat .....They cant have their cake and eat it to speical privilages and "equal rights" not with me anyway

InFront

dbnavan wrote:

why should someone get a seat just cause they are a woman, your telling me there is a difference in a 20 year old man, standing and a 20 year old woman standing? I really dont get that

Its a fact that men are, in general, biologically stronger than women. If a 20 year old woman gets on a bus and there are no seats, but a 20 year old man seated beside her, I would consider that bad manners. She should be offered a seat and it is up to her to refuse it if she doesnt mind standing.

Women faught for so long to be treated equally so I beleive they should be.

In fact they fought to be given equal opportunity, not to be "equal". Sorry if you think thats being pedantic but women are not equal to men because they are physiologically different. Thats why we have womens rowing and mens rowing, womens tennis and mens tennis, womens running and mens running. etc.
I believe a healthy 20 year old man should give up his seat to a healthy 20 year old woman. Its the mannerly and courteous thing to do, and if the woman doesnt want to sit there she doesnt have to.

Wishbone Ash

InFront wrote:

The bus company is too polite to ever suggest such a thing by putting up signs, QUOTE]




Most buses have a sign near the front saying "Please give up this seat if an elderly or infirm person needs it".

InFront

Wishbone Ash wrote:

Most buses have a sign near the front saying "Please give up this seat if an elderly or infirm person needs it".

Yes I am aware of that. Im saying they are too polite to suggest you give your seat up to a woman so as not to offend them