Am I normal not to want to get married or have kids?

Owen

I'm 27, Male, Grand Job, great girl, etc, but I have zero interest in getting Married. I don't believe in the invisible man in the sky who never talks, so I don't see the point from a religious stand, nor do I see the point of spending € 20000 on a day, and feeling trapped for the rest of your life. I DO see the point of spending the rest of your life with someone, I just don't understand the logic of putting rings on fingers and having a very self centered day proving your love to 200 people. But all my friends think I'm mad, and that I will get married, and consequently put pressure on me to marry.

I don't want kids either. I can't see the point of having them. All your money's gone, and what are you left with? Crying poop bags who wake you up at 3 in the morning, eventually figure out what the word 'no' is around 2, throw tantrums in shops because they don't get the ice cream they want, argue over the slighest thing, cry over everything. Yes, there's benefits when they cuddle into you and say things like 'I love you', but seriously, what's the point? Do people have kids to relieve boredom in relationships? I'd rather have a Dog TBH. At least a Dog is semi trained after 6 months. I reckon your average kid will cost you upwards of € 50, 000 to maintain, money I'd rather spend travelling the world, and living MY life.

I know some people on here will be shocked, but hey, this is how I see things. I just want to know if I'm the only one. Big whoop, I don't want kids, and I don't want to get married, is that so strange?

KTRIC

Nothing unusual about any of that. Enjoy your life the way you want. There are no rules about how you do it.

I personally feel the same way.

Nope.
As long as you're genuinely happy that way, it's all good.
The same lifestyle is most certainly not for everyone.

daiixi

Nope it's not strange and it's fabulous that you know what you do and don't want. Just let your great girl know how you feel and make sure she understands. Don't marry/have kids because others think you should, you'll change your mind in your own time if you're going to and regret it if others force you into anything. You're still young, enjoy yourself!

BMH

Genetically, we're supposed to get a girl pregnant, and move one, marriage isn't "natural". Of course, we've developed far beyond that now and strong feelings seem to be overwriding instict(as well as a sizeable brain).

Short answer:No, you're not. But, you might find your mind chainging as you go on. You may not want to "Big Day", but what if the person you love does? Would you not do it for her. Don't worry about the whole kids thing either. lots of people feel that way, you hardly think that every child is planned?

judybaby

Totally agree with you. I decided a long time ago that this wasn't for me! I will not conform!!! As a result friends and family think I am weird and I get pitiful looks from old uncles who think my life as "spinster" is sad and lonely!!!

It couldn't be further from the truth and I'm so happy with the way things are. I realise how lucky I am, Free, independent, successful,can come and go as I please when and where I like.
I see my friends all settled in to married life with children hanging off them. and while it's obviously suiting "most" of them I wish they could see that I wouldn't want this. Instead I'm told "you'll be lucky someday and meet someone Jude!" (P*** OFF)

I have a PhD in Psychology (child), love children and adore my nieces and nephews but don't want to have any of my own. Why is that considered strange by my family and friends???

I haven't a maternal bone in my body...never had and I doubt if I ever will.
The "elder females" in my life have always said .........

"oh it'll happen ...you'll meet someome that you want to marry and have babies with"
Again this couldn't be futher from the truth. The older I am the less appealing the whole marriage/baby thing has become.

God bless contraception

finnpark

ned78 wrote:

I'm 27, Male, Grand Job, great girl, etc, but I have zero interest in getting Married. I don't believe in the invisible man in the sky who never talks, so I don't see the point from a religious stand, nor do I see the point of spending € 20000 on a day, and feeling trapped for the rest of your life. I DO see the point of spending the rest of your life with someone, I just don't understand the logic of putting rings on fingers and having a very self centered day proving your love to 200 people. But all my friends think I'm mad, and that I will get married, and consequently put pressure on me to marry.

I don't want kids either. I can't see the point of having them. All your money's gone, and what are you left with? Crying poop bags who wake you up at 3 in the morning, eventually figure out what the word 'no' is around 2, throw tantrums in shops because they don't get the ice cream they want, argue over the slighest thing, cry over everything. Yes, there's benefits when they cuddle into you and say things like 'I love you', but seriously, what's the point? Do people have kids to relieve boredom in relationships? I'd rather have a Dog TBH. At least a Dog is semi trained after 6 months. I reckon your average kid will cost you upwards of € 50, 000 to maintain, money I'd rather spend travelling the world, and living MY life.

I know some people on here will be shocked, but hey, this is how I see things. I just want to know if I'm the only one. Big whoop, I don't want kids, and I don't want to get married, is that so strange?

Ok, so you don't beleive in God, you don't want kids or marriage....well what the hell are you living for. You have nothing in life then so, just waiting to die.

finnpark

finnpark wrote:

Ok, so you don't beleive in God, you don't want kids or marriage....well what the hell are you living for. You have nothing in life then so, just waiting to die.

The hell is your problem?

judybaby

finnpark wrote:

Ok, so you don't beleive in God, you don't want kids or marriage....well what the hell are you living for. You have nothing in life then so, just waiting to die.

That's bit harsh! Just coz he dosn't believe in God, doesn't want kids and wife doesn't mean he has nothing to live for!!! Get a grip! What about the dog he wants???, his family, GF, holidays......lots of things!

Owen

judybaby wrote:

That's bit harsh! Just coz he dosn't believe in God, doesn't want kids and wife doesn't mean he has nothing to live for!!! Get a grip! What about the dog he wants???, his family, GF, holidays......lots of things!

I think he was joking :-)

tSubh Dearg

ned78 wrote:

I DO see the point of spending the rest of your life with someone, I just don't understand the logic of putting rings on fingers and having a very self centered day proving your love to 200 people.

I'm just wondering if you intend staying with one person for the rest of your life, why you wouldn't have a civil ceremony, which I believe costs about €100 or something, so that you could benefit from tax breaks and have a better standing legally with regards to inheritence and so on?

Just curious, not condemning your choice in anyway.

X-SL

Yeah, do it in the registry office.

Nevyn

Bluewolf attack the post not the poster.

Unhelpful and off-topic posting will get you banned from this forum.
Do take time to read the charter which contains the rules and abide by them.
Have a nice day.
Thaedydal

Zulu

You're grand. Enjoy YOUR life the way YOU want.


...I might be off the mark here, but your post seems to focus on money. Life is bigger than material wealth.

Oryx

Nothing wrong with your choice, it goes against what were all programmed and expected to do, so people will raise eyebrows, but so what? I have kids, but Ill admit I envy the freedom of those who dont, sometimes.:D

Enjoy your life and your freedom! ...As long as your great girl is the same as you and isnt hanging on till you change your mind.

Jack B. Badd

ned78 wrote:

I'm 27, Male, Grand Job, great girl, etc, but I have zero interest in getting Married. I don't believe in the invisible man in the sky who never talks, so I don't see the point from a religious stand, nor do I see the point of spending € 20000 on a day, and feeling trapped for the rest of your life. I DO see the point of spending the rest of your life with someone, I just don't understand the logic of putting rings on fingers and having a very self centered day proving your love to 200 people. But all my friends think I'm mad, and that I will get married, and consequently put pressure on me to marry.

I don't want kids either. I can't see the point of having them. All your money's gone, and what are you left with? Crying poop bags who wake you up at 3 in the morning, eventually figure out what the word 'no' is around 2, throw tantrums in shops because they don't get the ice cream they want, argue over the slighest thing, cry over everything. Yes, there's benefits when they cuddle into you and say things like 'I love you', but seriously, what's the point? Do people have kids to relieve boredom in relationships? I'd rather have a Dog TBH. At least a Dog is semi trained after 6 months. I reckon your average kid will cost you upwards of € 50, 000 to maintain, money I'd rather spend travelling the world, and living MY life.

I know some people on here will be shocked, but hey, this is how I see things. I just want to know if I'm the only one. Big whoop, I don't want kids, and I don't want to get married, is that so strange?

Dear lord, there are male versions of me in the world!!! :eek:

rainbow kirby

Actually, I'm similar in that I don't particularly want to get married or have children. The thought of having kids holds no appeal for me... and it never really has. Marriage... meh. It just seems like a waste of time. I'm not sure if I like the idea of being tied down like that.

dazberry

ned78 wrote:

I'm 27, Male, Grand Job, great girl, etc, but I have zero interest in getting Married. [...]

[1] Nothing wrong with any of that - if the g/f isn't of the same mind well that's a different issue.

[2] Things change. Two friends (couple) of mine were very similar - nothing broken so nothing needing to be fixed. After umpteen years they got married (civil) last year and a little devil is on the way. All I can say is things change.

But all my friends think I'm mad, and that I will get married, and consequently put pressure on me to marry.

[3] As someone who has been single for a long time, I know well how people can say pretty mindless things and in general be poor at looking at things from beyond their point of view. The thing is the few real friends I have don't go on like this. But the others that do, for instance with the classic "its all ahead of you because I've just done it jibe in c minor" aren't in fairness being malevolent. Just don't let them harden or entrench you.

[4] Always keep an open mind for no other reason than its better than a closed one. Doesn't mean you change you principles, just means people who don't share them won't annoy you as much

D.

McGinty

I see nothing wrong in your approach to life, but I am curious as to why you feel the need for confirmation, I agree there is a lot of pressure from others to be married and have children, and it is good for someone like yourself and others to be honest and say no its not for me, so the only thing I'd say in response to those who try to push it, just say "thats nice but not for me", there is no point in arguing for which life is better, because there is no better side, I did take offence at your comments re: raising kids in relation to the costs and the wiping of poops etc, I understand its not a life for you, but don't slag those who choose that life, just as those who choose that life should not slag a person who is single.

There are upsides and downsides to both types of living, its just choosing the right one for your personality. I chose to be a parent, I have one child, I don't want anymore, but I'm grateful for the experience, and it was not just wiping arses, etc, there is the whole learning process as well, that has helped me to grow up, but as I say its not for everyone, and yes I miss my freedom from time to time but I accept my choices. Besides you can have the best of both worlds, as you get older and your friends/family have kids you can borrow them (if you want of course, you may not want to) and then hand them back when you've had enough.

Pigman II

OP you sound normal enough to me (but don't take that as good thing tho ).

I told someone the other day that there is lots of people (esp men I reckon) out there out there who don't ever want kids or wedded bliss but I failed to convince her that it was anyone in the world with this opinion other than myself.

We're a generation of people who are too self-absorbed and enjoying life too much to want anything to interfere with that. Whilst I could be wrong in believing that things like kids will put a dent in our fun I'm not going to be in a hurry or be put under pressure to find out.

So don't worry. Like many other things that were deemed socially unacceptable in the past I believe that with greather understanding and acceptance attitudes like yours will become more and more prevelant amongst people as time passes.

embee

Yes, you are completely normal. Marriage and kids aren't for everyone, but make sure that when you meet someone you think might be "The One" (for want of a better phrase) that they're reading from the same hymnsheet as you. Nothing as frustrating as meeting someone perfect only to discover they want totally different things to you.

Owen

Thanks Embs :-) You can see my outlook on life has completely changed since the time we were drinking in Boherbue in Cork!

To all responses, thank you. I'm glad there are others out there who feel like I do. It's so stereotypical to want the mortgage/ring/sprogs, and I'm glad that I'm not the only one receiving pressure from colleagues/family/friends.

I really can't see myself getting married, and my s/o seems pretty okay with this. She has expressed a desire for a kid someday, and I haven't ruled it out, BUT if I ever do decide to have a kid sometime, it will be after I've lived my life first. I want to see more of the world, and buy the things I've promised myself.

My sister has 5 kids, and I love them to bits. I borrow them sometimes as an excuse to go see Ice Age 2, or the like, and while they're great fun, it's also relieving to hand them back Unclehood is highly recommended, but I think I'll pass on Fatherhood somehow.

Thanks again everyone!

seamus

As others have said, it's your life, live it the way you want to. While it may seem that "I don't want to have to look after a ****bag" is a selfish way of thinking, the act of creating children is inherently selfish. You don't have children "because it's the right thing to do", you have children because you want to. I want children. And as I think of it, it's purely so I can make myself happy. While I will commit hundreds of selfless acts for my children, the act of having them in the first place will be self-gratifying. Am I wrong? I don't think so.

While I find it hard to understand that people don't have the same neolithic urge as the rest of us, I have heard some extremely reasonable arguments from people who don't want kids.

Black Swan

Different strokes for different folks. Like we would all be boring if identical.

nesf

OP I think that you are totally entitled to hold that opinion and nothing should force you to have to change it (though the whole civil marriage option should be considered at the very least at some point).

If you're from Boherbue though (and your friends are) I can understand the need for confirmation. Very conservative part of the country that, grew up only not too many miles up the road myself. Some very old school views are held in those parts.

xzanti

Theres nothing wrong at all with what you described as long as your gf is under no illusion that you're going to one day get broody... Once she knows how you feel then good for you...

darkflower

ned78 wrote:

I don't want kids either. I can't see the point of having them. All your money's gone, and what are you left with? Crying poop bags who wake you up at 3 in the morning, eventually figure out what the word 'no' is around 2, throw tantrums in shops because they don't get the ice cream they want, argue over the slighest thing, cry over everything. Yes, there's benefits when they cuddle into you and say things like 'I love you', but seriously, what's the point? Do people have kids to relieve boredom in relationships? I'd rather have a Dog TBH. At least a Dog is semi trained after 6 months. I reckon your average kid will cost you upwards of € 50, 000 to maintain, money I'd rather spend travelling the world, and living MY life.

I know some people on here will be shocked, but hey, this is how I see things. I just want to know if I'm the only one. Big whoop, I don't want kids, and I don't want to get married, is that so strange?

i am shocked honestly but you are entitled to what u believe..i just hope your gf or your someone share the same vision you have..or you will live alone miserable for the rest of your life

Asiaprod

In all honesty, you don't realise the joy of having kids till you have them. Nothing can prepare you for the moment that you first hold the screaming brat in your arms. Giants of men turn to jello. I used to think like the OP till we had our kid. She is now 11 and I honestly can say she has brought much joy, despite the poop and tantrums. I would not have it any other way.
Its your life, live it the way you want to enjoy it, but only have kids cause you really want them. Never bring a kid into this world who will be unloved.
Speaking of brats, mine has just spent the last 2 hours in the bath washing her hair:eek: How can a woman spend 2 hours washing her hair, there is not that much to begin with.
Going to have to go and pull the irrate daddy routine so the very real irrate wife can have a shower.
Fatherhood never ends:(

Jack B. Badd

seamus wrote:

While it may seem that "I don't want to have to look after a ****bag" is a selfish way of thinking, the act of creating children is inherently selfish.

I don't think not wanting to have kids is necessarily selfish. Personally I reckon I'd make a pretty awful mother and that's part (but only one part) of the reason I don't want to have them. Not saying that I'm being totally selfless by not getting knocked up but it's not all about not wanting kids to ruin your fantastic child-free life!

Brian Capture

I'm in a long term relationship with two children. We also have a mortgage and plan to get married in a year or two.

I don't feel that there's anything wrong with me.

The original poster is entitled to live his life as he wants but I get the impression (from others especially) that people who choose the marriage/mortgage/children route as seen as 'boring' or 'stereotypical'.

nesf

I don't think he was suggesting that. He was more frustrated with people being unwilling to accept his viewpoint on the subject. Though I find the idea of people viewing having kids being stereotypical. It would be a bit like viewing going through puberty as being stereotypical.

Nevyn

The vast majority of my friends and siblings have stated they don't want kids
and that is their choice and it should be respected.

man-in-cognito

ned78 wrote:

Unclehood is highly recommended, but I think I'll pass on Fatherhood somehow.

I'll second that buddy..

I'm 29, and although I have the mortgage, marriage and children doesn't interest me in the slightest. Years ago, I thought it was what i wanted, but now it certainly isn't. I love my nieces and nephews, but I wouldn't want to do it full time.

MIC.

Orion

Define normal

ned78 wrote:

I'm 27, Male, Grand Job, great girl, etc, but I have zero interest in getting Married. I don't believe in the invisible man in the sky who never talks, so I don't see the point from a religious stand, nor do I see the point of spending € 20000 on a day, and feeling trapped for the rest of your life. I DO see the point of spending the rest of your life with someone, I just don't understand the logic of putting rings on fingers and having a very self centered day proving your love to 200 people. But all my friends think I'm mad, and that I will get married, and consequently put pressure on me to marry.

I'm with you 100%. To hell with the pressure - if they believe so much in it let them get married. Myself and 'er indoors are together 10 years now with no intention of getting married unless she wants to quit work in which case it's for tax reason. Neither of us need a paper certificate to demonstrate our love
for each other to other people.

ned78 wrote:

I don't want kids either. I can't see the point of having them. All your money's gone, and what are you left with? Crying poop bags who wake you up at 3 in the morning, eventually figure out what the word 'no' is around 2, throw tantrums in shops because they don't get the ice cream they want, argue over the slighest thing, cry over everything. Yes, there's benefits when they cuddle into you and say things like 'I love you', but seriously, what's the point? Do people have kids to relieve boredom in relationships? I'd rather have a Dog TBH. At least a Dog is semi trained after 6 months. I reckon your average kid will cost you upwards of € 50, 000 to maintain, money I'd rather spend travelling the world, and living MY life.

All true - they **** everywhere, 're-decorate', scream around the shops, blatantly defy you in public and in private, distrupt your sleep patterns for years - and my two aren't even 3 yet . But I wouldn't trade them for anything. They're the best thing that ever happened to me. I highly recommend it.

I always wanted kids - we went through the mill to have ours - my better half even had an operation to enable her to conceive.

But you don't want them. That's your choice. And you're not alone in this. Like getting married - you do it for you not for other people. If you don't want kids then don't. If other people try to pressure you into it - tell them it's not their business. None of this makes you less than normal - like I said at the top - define normal?

jimmycrackcorm

Time will tell. What you want in your teens is different to that in your twenties, thirties etc. When you were a teenager you have no interest in a mortgage or saving for your pension for example...

I guess (I'm not there yet) that when you are much older and reflect back on your life you'll wonder what you missed out on. All your money spent instead on world travelling will have been spent and gone and the only lasting legagcy that you won't have are your kids and grandchildren.

Velvet Vocals

I think it's great that you know what you want!
As far as marriage goes, I think if you do decide that you want to spend the rest of your life with your great girl, then in order for her be looked after in the event of anything happening to you then you should have some sort of civil ceremony. If you died then she would be left with nothing, regardless if you have put her in you will or not, it can be contested and everything would go to your next of kin. That's obviously vise vesa
My mum and her husband were happy enough to stay together and never get married but as they both have children from other marriages and stuff and house's and all that jazz they had to make it legal in case anything happened to either of them. They got married in the registry office - had 20 people for dinner in a really nice restaurant afterwards and it was a great day... didn't cost the earth!
It makes sense that you make provisions for the person that has committed them selves to you.
Apart from that practicality you can happily spend the rest of your day's childless and spending the €20000 that you saved when you didn't have your lavish wedding!:D

Buttony

ned78 wrote:

Thanks Embs :-) I really can't see myself getting married, and my s/o seems pretty okay with this. She has expressed a desire for a kid someday, and I haven't ruled it out, BUT if I ever do decide to have a kid sometime, it will be after I've lived my life first. I want to see more of the world, and buy the things I've promised myself.

Ok I think you should definetly decide on what you want with life and not feel pressured to conform in any way. Not every one wants the norm.
But the above statement makes me think you may change your mind on the kids issue one day, unfortunately for women it is not as black and white, there is a time limit. There probably will come a time when your g/f asks herself will she wait around in the hope you will want kids and risk not having any herself or cut her losses and find someone else.
If it is truely what you want then you shouldn't be critised in any way for the way you choose to live

Ickle Magoo

I think it's a shame you think of marriage & parenthood in such a negative way - I can understand not seeing the point of marriage but to state you can't see the point of feeling trapped for the rest of your life is kind of missing the point of why people get married....I have heard people say kids are cute but I'm not ready for the commitment/sleepless nights/etc, etc but I think your description is a tad unfair to the little critters, lol, I notice there is no mention of love or the fun and satisfaction that parenting brings...but saying all that & ignoring any underlying issues that may have caused such negativity .....your life is yours to do with as you please & what is normal these days anyway?!

cupsoftea

"She has expressed a desire for a kid someday, and I haven't ruled it out"

If you think you definately do NOT want kids you have to let her know, don't lead her on with the "not ruling it out" bit. Be honest with your girlfriend. This is a very big deal for some people. But it is good that ye both have spoken about the marriage/kids thing-sounds like a good relationship.

Other than that you should lead your life as you want to, I too don't see the point in forking out a fortune for one days celebration. But there are other ways to get married as other posters have already said. You can head away to a sunny island and combine it with a holiday or go to a registry office- marriage is not only a religious thing, there are tax and inheritance issues that may benefit ye both in the future.

seamus

cupsoftea wrote:

If you think you definately do NOT want kids you have to let her know, don't lead her on with the "not ruling it out" bit. Be honest with your girlfriend. This is a very big deal for some people. But it is good that ye both have spoken about the marriage/kids thing-sounds like a good relationship.

Indeed, this is a make-or-break thing in a relationship. There is no compromise on kids - you can't only have kids for the weekend, or only when you're on holiday. You either have kids or you don't. And you'll usually find that people who want kids are dead set on it. I've never heard anyone say, "Yeah I want kids, but I wouldn't be bothered if I never had one".

ronanp

finnpark wrote:

Ok, so you don't beleive in God, you don't want kids or marriage....well what the hell are you living for. You have nothing in life then so, just waiting to die.

Whereas if you believed in god you could spend your life praising "Him" while waiting to die...

Kermitt

OP - Live your life by your own rules - but I'm amazed at the number of people who share your sentiments. I couldn't imagine not getting married or starting a family. There's something Inside that wants all that someday.

As for marriage I don't see it as a self centred woop de doo day for impressing all your friends. I see it as something between two peole that they feel so strongly about that the want to vow their commitment to each other. Some people take it too far with the lavish feasts and so on. Everyone has their own ideas. But without the possibility of marriage or children I would feel that I was being deprived of the chance to give all I can in this life. I feel sorry for you that you don't experience the same desire for commitment.

Dr. Dre

OP - absolutely nail on head. It's almost as if I posted it myself.
Good show.

judybaby

. I feel sorry for you that you don't experience the same desire for commitment.[/QUOTE]




Hmmmmmm there is no need to "feel sorry" I'm sure
I mean there is such a thing as "single by choice" you know!

Superman

I don't want kids either. I can't see the point of having them. All your money's gone

All i'm going to say is money won't come and visit you and care for you when your sick.

judybaby

Superman wrote:

All i'm going to say is money won't come and visit you and care for you when your sick.

Ha ha ! Great...an unselfish reason to have kids!...LMAO!
Even if I did decide to have children there is no way I would want to burden them with having to take care of me when Im old and incontinent!!!!!

Superman

judybaby wrote:

burden them with having to take care of me

Maybe i'm a bit classical about the whole thing but I wouldn't say burden is the right word to use, its kind of your responsibility as a son or daughter to look after your parents if time's get though. Thats the whole idea behind unconditional love, the idea that your "too busy" or "got alot on your plate" to take care of your parents is a bit weak in my view, anyway this is getting wayyy off topic .. from the looks of it though I guess my non-celtic tiger view of parents and offspring is a bit old fashioned:( !

nesf

Superman wrote:

Maybe i'm a bit classical about the whole thing but I wouldn't say burden is the right word to use, its kind of your responsibility as a son or daughter to look after your parents if time's get though. Thats the whole idea behind unconditional love, the idea that your "too busy" or "got alot on your plate" to take care of your parents is a bit weak in my view, anyway this is getting wayyy off topic .. from the looks of it though I guess my non-celtic tiger view of parents and offspring is a bit old fashioned:( !

Personally I, and my family, have always viewed it as a trade. Your parents provide for you, you provide for them. But if the parents don't hold up their side of the bargain you aren't held to yours. It's not unconditional love, it has solid groundings in our behaviour.

Also, I wouldn't hold to your view above as a good reason to have kids. It's a nice bonus but it doesn't count as a reason to have them in my mind. That is selfish, you have kids because you want them, not because you will need them in 30 years time or whatever.

judybaby

.

Also, I wouldn't hold to your view above as a good reason to have kids. It's a nice bonus but it doesn't count as a reason to have them in my mind. That is selfish, you have kids because you want them, not because you will need them in 30 years time or whatever.[/QUOTE]

Absolutely!

I know for sure that my parents didn't have me in order to care for them in their old age! While I wouldn't mind doing it I also know for sure they would not want this of me.

Ok ..I know this is off the topic slightly but I just had to reinforce the fact that it is selfish to want children so that they will care for you in the future!

In fact i have never heard such a ridiculous reason to reproduce!

Kermitt

judybaby wrote:

Hmmmmmm there is no need to "feel sorry" I'm sure
I mean there is such a thing as "single by choice" you know!

Well i jus think that whether by choice or not that the OP is missing out on certain experiences and feelings by taking this route. Not saying he's wrong, and more luck to him in his choice..

Owen

jimmycrackcorm wrote:

Time will tell. What you want in your teens is different to that in your twenties, thirties etc. When you were a teenager you have no interest in a mortgage or saving for your pension for example...

I guess (I'm not there yet) that when you are much older and reflect back on your life you'll wonder what you missed out on. All your money spent instead on world travelling will have been spent and gone and the only lasting legagcy that you won't have are your kids and grandchildren.

So to have a fulfilled life, I must stay at home, pay a mortgage, spend all my time on kids.

I would have thought a fullfilled life would have been to travel the world, see different cultures, try different foods, live in different cities and above all, have a real life.

I still have no interest in mortgages, or property at 27. Sorry, I just don't. There's a guy working with me at the moment, he's 29, and has three houses, married, with a kid on the way. I'm sure he sees this as some form of achievement, but you know what I see? Someone who's trapped. At 27, I've been to many many countries, and met some of the most amazing people and cultures, I've played gigs in strange bars with bands I didn't know, and been more content than I have ever known. And I'm not done yet. If I've done this much at 27, and still want more, I feel great pity for my colleague who will never see these things. At most, he'll see Disneyland in Paris a few times, or go on family packaged holidays. He'll never be able to decide to make life changing decisions, he's stuck in a routine until the kids are old, and until the houses are paid off.

Legacy? Why on Earth would I want a legacy? We live for 70 years, and die. Out of the 6 billion people on the world, do you think our lives have a significant impact? Do you really think in 100 years time your kids grandkids will know who you are, or give a damn?