Fear of Flying

I want to see if anybody has any suggestions for me with regards fear of flying.
I have had a fear of flying ever since i was a kid and unfortunatly i have never been able to get rid of it. Infact it has been getting worse. I have nightmares about 3 times a month that i am getting on a plane and sitting in the seat. I wake up in a cold sweat everytime. I have not been on a plane in 4 years avoiding holidays with friends family and so on.
It looks like i will be flying in June or July though and this has me crapping in my pants already.

The actual fear i have lasts about 2 months before i go away on holidays and when i am on my holidays i cant enjoy myself as i know i have to get back on the plane.

I really need to get this sorted , either with a hypnotist or some other way. My doctor said he would give me somthing to relax me when i am on the plane but that is no use as the main problem is my anxiety before i go away that i need to fix.

Has anybody got any ideas on what i can do or how i can attack this problem, it is really becoming serious in my eyes.

dangerman

return to your doctor for more advice.

The wikipedia entry for fear of flying has a detail and a few external links that might help.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear_of_flying

but as ever, anything you read on the internet should not be believed without seeking the advice of a medical professional.

best of luck.

ntlbell

drink alot

What's the worst that can happen? plane crashes everyone dies boo hoo you won't feel a thing.

mkdon05

Check out www.fearofflyinghelp.com.

It is a fantastic websight for putting you at ease. It gives you sounds you will hear, explains in simple terms how the plane is staying in the air etc.....

A definite must see for all Nervous flyers!!;)

tuxy

ntlbell wrote:

drink alot

ya good advice, stay in constant stay of intoxication from now untill the end of july

BuffyBot

ntlbell wrote:

drink alot

What's the worst that can happen? plane crashes everyone dies boo hoo you won't feel a thing.

Neither suggestion is particularily helpful.

Dre as in Dray, have you considered a "fear of flying" course? Unfortunately the best ones are in the UK, but they come very highly recommended.

Beruthiel

ntlbell
banned for a week
B

hullaballoo

I recently developed a fear of flying too. It's not too bad, but I tense up and get very bad cold sweats. I think the best answer is to listen to some soothing music, close your eyes and pretend it's just a car journey.

Your problem looks like it might be more serious. You could try talking to someone who might help you get to the bottom of the fear. That's the best way to deal with it. Even just your parents/family, just to see if anything happened when you were younger.

I used to have a fairly abnormal repugnance for saline solutions. I was able to trace it back to something that happened when I was about three, and now I'm grand. (I do realise that it's again slightly less severe.)

meowCat

My mother is really afraid of flying, too.
She once got offered to participate in a Lufthansa program where people with flight angst spend half a day at the airport and a pilot talks them through everything that possibly could happen and its likelihood to happen, etc. It's like a nice little chit chat in a real air plane's cockpit. They do it in small groups only and it's said to really improve people's condition. I don't know if there are similar programs here in Ireland though. But might be worth checking out.

Also, flying is still one of the safest means of transportation. Ireland's roads are defo less safe!!

Maybe you should talk to a psychologist. Together you might be able to tackle the root of your fear. Many people are a little anxious before a flight, but your case appears rather extreme.

How do you feel once you are on the plane?
Personally, I start feeling unwell once I'm on it. That's why I always make sure I get an ailse seat. That way, if I need the toilet and can just jump up and run for it without having to consider other people in my way.

Odysseus

Hi there, I would suggest you see a psychotherapist fear of flying is common, but I get a sense from your post that you have been on a plane before, though not in a while. If you take this route, I would suggest that you start asap, as it is quite near to your departure time.

Psychotherapy can help with this, I'm a psychotherapist myself, and to give you an example my g/f had never been on a plane before, the thought would make her panic, with a bit of work, I got her up in a dual controlled glider, so she even got to fly the thing. Best of luck with it, why not let us know how you get on.

Fionn101

Hiya,

Not an uncommon problem by any means,

One suggestion I have is to take a 30mins intro flight in a small aircraft, stay with me I have a valid point.

I think a lot of people feel disorientated in flight as they can't see where they are going (looking out a side window whilst going forward)

Should you sit in a small aircraft you will be in the cockpit and the pilot will talk with you through all of the procedures and what's going on with the aircraft, also , and this is the big one...

when coming in to land you will be able to see the runway from 3miles out , you will also get a good understanding of a planes slow descent on it's glidepath to the runway, this will give you a good 5 minutes of seeing yourself
coming in to land. rather than just looking out a side window watching the groud get closer until you feel a bump . I honestly belive that this sitting up front with the pilot, asking all the questions you want should dramatically put you at ease in a plane. Again a small plane will bring you on a few laps within the 30 mins, perhaps you will do 3-4 landings and take-off and you will only be at a height of 1000 feet.

Again , I really think this will help , knowing whats going on within your flight, also being in the cockpit gives you a full view of your surroundings and will help ease your edgeyness.

All this can be done out at weston aerodrome and I'm there a lot of weekends
if you want to ask any other questions (also pm if needed)

note: I don't work for any company out there and am only learning myself , but I know any fear I had when starting out has been quashed.

hope this helps

Fionn

vector

>that i am getting on a plane and sitting in the seat

Start getting the bus around town or between towns, this will get you used to being in a large vehicle, in a small seat, that is controlled by someone else

(its amazing how many adults drive themselves everywhere, and aren't used to being on a bus)

so when you eventually get onto an aeroplane it will seem familiar

Ginger

Luckily i have no such dear as I have grown up with planes all my life.

As one poster already mentioned most fear of flying comes from been in the plane and not knowing what the hell is going on. As one person put it, put yourself in a car blindfolded and see how you notice every bump and change etc etc

I sat beside a person who was terrified and explained every bump, change of pitch so that they could understand what was happening. I still get nervous sometimes (mainly flying with ryanair :P) but all in all, its not too bad once you know what is happening.

Best advice, if you can manage it, do what one poster said and get up in a light aircraft with a competent pilot who is not going to practice stalls or anything. Quick fly around get them to explain everything and it will help loads

chump

I think the best way to get over it, is to get under it, so to speak.

You have to face your fear and sometimes no amount of preparation will be enough.

My advice would be to travel on a short flight within Ireland, Dublin to Shannon for example, as a tester flight...

I would also look at options regarding relaxants, and take a mild one a few hours before the flight just to take the edge off.
Then on the flight you'll go and you'll be up in the air for less than 30minutes.

AnnaStezia

Firstly, the drink idea is seriously bad. Don't even think about that one unless you want to make it worse. In due course when you get over this a little pre-flight drink might be fine but not at the moment .....

Secondly, if you are going to use tranquillizers you cannot have alcohol. Well you can but you won't have a clue where the hell you are and will probably be even less in control that you might imagine.

Chump's idea of a short flight within Ireland is a good one. If you go Dublin / Shannon you can get the train home if you really do not like it and you will know that before you set off.

This probably sounds really silly. Get yourself a copy of a decent flight simulator like Microsoft Flight Simulator and learn how to fly the bloody thing yourself. Practice flying the route you will travel. This might help to lay down some positively reinforcing ideas but for God's sake pull up and go around if the landing looks hairy !!!!!!!!!

I reckon a big problem for nervous flyers is the complete lack of control over your destiny once the door closes and the whine of the starting engines commences.

You probably need to be desensitised like a person who has a phobia. I don't mean any discourtesy in saying this.

Anyway, happy landings........

Santa Claus

I had the same problem a few years ago and I managed to get over it.
I'd flown loads of time before but was over in the US when 9/11 hapenned and I think that must have flicked some switch in my head and opened up this whole fear of flying.

Anyway, I saw a Cognotive Behavioural Therapist (CBT) and over the space of a year managed to get the fear under control to the point where I've flown about 12 times so far this year for work.
One of the things I do is listen to relaxing music on my iPod and just try to sleep through the flight.

I know Aer Lingus used to run a fear of flying course, though they may have got rid of it since the became a low fares airline !

Feel free to PM me if you want any other info.

Ruu_Old

Ask the airline, or get someone else whoevers flying with you to ask if you could be pre-boarded so you can get settled and not driven in like cattle the normal way They probably wont have a problem with that. Avoid drinking, it'll only make you dehydrated on the flight, lots o' water is the best thing for you.

BuffyBot

I know Aer Lingus used to run a fear of flying course, though they may have got rid of it since the became a low fares airline !

It's gone

Canis Lupus

What part of flying is scarey exactly? It's a fear I just don't understand.

Ntlbell may have been banned but I agree, get get on the plane, it's unlikely you will die but if the plane goes down the dying bit should be painless at least, assuming u survive the screaming bit as the plane hurtles uncontrolably towards the ground......

Santa Claus

Canis Lupus wrote:

What part of flying is scarey exactly? It's a fear I just don't understand.

Ntlbell may have been banned but I agree, get get on the plane, it's unlikely you will die but if the plane goes down the dying bit should be painless at least, assuming u survive the screaming bit as the plane hurtles uncontrolably towards the ground......

Can be many things Canis, for some it's the claustrophobic feeling of being trapped inside a small metsl tube for X number of hours, for others is the fear of crashing, and then for others it's just a lack of control.

Willymuncher

AnnaStezia wrote:

This probably sounds really silly. Get yourself a copy of a decent flight simulator like Microsoft Flight Simulator and learn how to fly the bloody thing yourself. Practice flying the route you will travel. This might help to lay down some positively reinforcing ideas but for God's sake pull up and go around if the landing looks hairy !!!!!!!!!

It does sound silly but thats what helped me with my fear, it can be pretty scary being in a plane and not knowing what noises are what and what is going on at certain times, messing with a flight simulator can give you a small idea of a lot of things on the plane, and it does help, for me it did anyway.

fearofflyinghelp.com mentioned above also helped a lot, I used to be scared ****less during that little drop you get when flying, but I know what causes it now, and its not a big deal, I know it doesn't mean anything really, and that turbulance is pretty harmless too.

LegacyUser

Sorry this is a bit long!!
I also had a fear of flying. Dont know where it came from, but I never ever had a fear about flying until I was in my early 20's. I was the same, worried about the holiday months in advance, even booking the flights made me feel sick. Then once I arrived at the destination, I spent the whole holiday worrying about the flight home. I decided enough was enough and I signed up to do a flying without fear course with Virgin Atlantic. These are unfortunately in the UK (there are no airlines running courses in Ireland from what I know) I flew over for the weekend to do the course, I was so scared, flying over to do a course for a fear of flying!!:eek: If you are too scared to fly, get a boat over, but I highly recommend you try this course.
Anyway, the bottom line, it helped a great deal. I done the course and 2 months later travelled the globe, flew to the US, Australia, Asia and a few other places. I must admit I was still a little nervous for some flights but not half as bad as before and I was ok once we were up in the air. Infact, I quite enjoyed the flight most of the time.
What the course involved and how it helped:
1. Its run by 2 pilots who tell you everything there is to know about the aircraft, flying , security procedures, turbulence and lots of other stuff. They answer any questions you have no matter how silly you might think they are.
2. There is a relaxation session and at the end they give you a cd of the relaxation session which is specifically tailored for a fear of flying. I normally listen to every night for 1-2 weeks before a flight and it helps so much.
3. You get a book with details of everything that happens from checking in to landing at your destination. I find it the most helpful part of the course. I bring it on every flight with me and read along with whats happening as its happening. For eg, the wheels coming up or something.
4. You go on a 40min flight at the end of the course. This is so helpful. The pilots who deliver the course along with about 10 other Virgin staff sit around the plane, so there is always someone to go to with a question or if you are having a white knuckel moment. The pilot whos flying the plane and the co pilot, talk you through every single thing they are doing throughout the flight. It really helps you identify the bumps and noises and really puts you at ease.
5. After care - if you fly with Virgin afterwards, just call them about a week before the flight, explain you done the course and they are so helpful. A member of cabin crew will be told in advance that you are on the flight and they will check in on you throughout the flight to make sure you are ok, and address any fears you might have for eg if there is alot of turbulence. Apart from Virgin, they recommend that you make any airline you fly with aware that you are a bit nervous before you fly with them, and most of them will be friendly and helpful. Just call them up before and explain that you are a bit nervous.

The website for this course is http://www.flyingwithoutfear.info/index.htm
Check it out, see what you think, but I would highly recommend it.

katyk

Sorry this is a bit long!!
I also had a fear of flying. Dont know where it came from, but I never ever had a fear about flying until I was in my early 20's. I was the same, worried about the holiday months in advance, even booking the flights made me feel sick. Then once I arrived at the destination, I spent the whole holiday worrying about the flight home. I decided enough was enough and I signed up to do a flying without fear course with Virgin Atlantic. These are unfortunately in the UK (there are no airlines running courses in Ireland from what I know) I flew over for the weekend to do the course, I was so scared, flying over to do a course for a fear of flying!!:eek: If you are too scared to fly, get a boat over, but I highly recommend you try this course.
Anyway, the bottom line, it helped a great deal. I done the course and 2 months later travelled the globe, flew to the US, Australia, Asia and a few other places. I must admit I was still a little nervous for some flights but not half as bad as before and I was ok once we were up in the air. Infact, I quite enjoyed the flight most of the time.
What the course involved and how it helped:
1. Its run by 2 pilots who tell you everything there is to know about the aircraft, flying , security procedures, turbulence and lots of other stuff. They answer any questions you have no matter how silly you might think they are.
2. There is a relaxation session and at the end they give you a cd of the relaxation session which is specifically tailored for a fear of flying. I normally listen to every night for 1-2 weeks before a flight and it helps so much.
3. You get a book with details of everything that happens from checking in to landing at your destination. I find it the most helpful part of the course. I bring it on every flight with me and read along with whats happening as its happening. For eg, the wheels coming up or something.
4. You go on a 40min flight at the end of the course. This is so helpful. The pilots who deliver the course along with about 10 other Virgin staff sit around the plane, so there is always someone to go to with a question or if you are having a white knuckel moment. The pilot whos flying the plane and the co pilot, talk you through every single thing they are doing throughout the flight. It really helps you identify the bumps and noises and really puts you at ease.
5. After care - if you fly with Virgin afterwards, just call them about a week before the flight, explain you done the course and they are so helpful. A member of cabin crew will be told in advance that you are on the flight and they will check in on you throughout the flight to make sure you are ok, and address any fears you might have for eg if there is alot of turbulence. Apart from Virgin, they recommend that you make any airline you fly with aware that you are a bit nervous before you fly with them, and most of them will be friendly and helpful. Just call them up before and explain that you are a bit nervous.

The website for this course is http://www.flyingwithoutfear.info/index.htm
Check it out, see what you think, but I would highly recommend it.

Bill McH

I have a fear of heights and I absolutely do not like flying at all. For some reason, I do find it a little easier once the plane is above the clouds.

I understand that Allen Carr, the stop-smoking guru, has a book out about conquering a fear of flying. It might be worth having a look at that. Though he may now be starting to spread himself a little thin.:p

snickerpuss

I had this problem and still do to a certain extent and i also had the waking up in a cold sweat (made worse cos i live near the airport so planes fly over my house all day long!)

What i did was try to visualise every step, going to the airport, boarding the plane, taking off, landing, etc. I think once you visualise it it isn't as frightning anymore. Also i have to think about how many planes go over my house every single day and nothing ever happens to any of them.

When going to new york last summer i got tablets to calm me down, i took them before the flight and although i was scared i didn't really care? Thats what the tablets did to me anyway. On the way home i forgot to take them and i was fine.

Other than that on the flight i try to read or listen to an audio book which really helps me when i'm feeling panicky. (I highly recommend agatha christie murder mysteries cos they're easy to get into and interesting)

Hope any of that helped. You're certainly not alone anyway!

py2006

I never had a fear of flying. I did alot of it as a kid and really enjoyed it. I have noticed in the last few years that I get a little more anxious on take off and landing but once we are up there I am fine.

Ryanair makes me nervous to be honest. They cut back on far too many things it makes me wonder what else they cut back on. Engines, wings???

I flew Aer Lingus to New York recently and I freaked myself out as I couldn't get the images of 9/11 out of my head! I don't know what the hell was wrong with me.

I think as an earlier poster said, its really all in the head and the fact that your not in control.

I didn't help a bit did I?:(

dangerman

py2006 wrote:

Ryanair makes me nervous to be honest. They cut back on far too many things it makes me wonder what else they cut back on. Engines, wings???

Ryanair can't cut back on safety, they are regulated by the Irish Aviation Authority just the same as other airlines.

http://www.iaa.ie/safe_reg/default.asp

Muggy Dev

The late and great Stanley Kubrick had a pathological fear fear of flying.He simply never got on a plane.The same is true of Denis Bergkamp of Arsenal.It can be a terrible handicap.....if you let it.

I too have that fear and while many of the previous posters offer sound advice,here's what I do.

Firstly,I decide in my mind that nothing but nothing is going to stop me from enjoying my hard earned two weeks in the sun.NOTHING!

Then,with the consent and approval of my G.P. I take 10mg of Valium 40mins before departure.I wash these down with a pint of Guinness(just one though...my GP would have a fit if he knew).By the time your strapped in and taxiing out your relaxed and ready for the movie.

Now comes the nice bit.By the time the drinks trolley comes around you will be at cruising altitude.About 32000 ft.The sunlight bathes the cabin and your thoughts drift to the wonderful experiences that lie ahead.Time for a drink!Again, this is ritual for me......I always have a Bloody Mary.Again,only one.I sit back,sip and think of Stanley and Denis and think,in this respect at least, how totally superior I am.

I repeat the ritual for the return leg.Once you have found a system that works for you,you won't have to worry about those buildup/preflight nerves you describe 'cause you handle it on the day.

......and don't think you're in a minority.A C/C friend of mine once told me that up to 40% of PAX are what she would describe as "nervous fliers".

Like all fears,you have to confront it.In my case I like to have such giants as Hoffman LaRoche,Guinness,Smirnoff and my beloved Britvic on(by)my side.

Take that you naughty naughty phobia!

py2006

Didn't Mr T have a fear of flying?? Murdoch used to have to knock him out to get him on a plane! Is there a Murdoch in your life?

Bluebells

Im going to a hypnotherepist tomorow for a phobia, I'll let you know how I get on. Apparently its works for a lot of people and they charge about 100euro for a one hour session. Well worth looking into, aswell as the desensitiseation thing.

Garibaldi

I had a pretty bad fear of flying, but then I got a job (about 6 years ago) that, although I didn't realise it at the start, meant I'd have to fly Dublin-Stansted-Dublin twice a week. Ah, when I think back on all those anxiety attacks..... :rolleyes:

Anyhoo, that job was the best therapy I could ever have had, and it was free (the therapy, that is)! Luckily, there were very few occassions where I had to fly on my own, in the early days, so there was always something of a safety net, e.g. "Hey Fred. If I start acting like I'm in a blender when I get on the plane, knock me out." Never having to call on "Fred" meant less trips to the dentist.

Bottom line for me is, if you face that fear repeatedly, it'll gradually dissipate to a more than manageable level. Without the aid of booze or drugs, I've just been on my longest flight to date (just over 9 hours to USA - GO ME! :cool: ), and I'm off to New Zealand in December. Can't wait.

Bluebells

Well, went to the hypnotherepy thing yesterday, very interesting experiance, still not sure if it worked but I definately feel a lot calmer about the things. Dont know if thats any help...

LegacyUser

I do have a fear of flying aswell but it's not as bad as you....my fear is the fact that you are so high up, it's always going to be disasterous if something bad did happen. Turbulence can be so bad sometimes that it freaks me out too. I used to get so anxious on planes that I would feel really sick when on one and literally put myself into a state of total weakness cos i'd be worried. September 11'th never helped me either, in fact, it just made it worse...while I can go on planes now, i always think "what if" situations when on it...it freaks me out a bit, i'm not gonna lie...

Hello everybody, i just wanted to update and let people know what has happened about my fear.

Well i am back from Madrid and i now love flying !!! Yes its true. I cant wait till i fly again

I will let you know what happened. I booked myself into a hypnotherapist. There are lots around and they are all different prices . The first one i got charged me €1000

I found another for 300 so i went with that. Unfortunatly this hypnotpst was away untill thursday and i was flying out on the sunday.Thursday came and nothing. I called them and got voice mail. Friday , nothing called and got voicemail

I was panicing now and took a look through golden pages were i found a guy, i called him and he told me he would see me straight away. So i went he hypnotised me and i felt very relaxed and was also relaxed at the fact it cost me €100 !

It came to the flight and i knew i should be scared but i wasnt. I got on the plane and i felt fine. take off , not a problem and landing sheer delight .

I am now going away again in 2 weeks and i can say i no longer have a fear of flying .

Tony255

I travel with this guy in work regularly who has a fear of flying and he gets relaxing pills from his doctor before flying, i dont know if these could help you as you said you get nervous two weeks before flying but they certainly help him during the flight (he does go a bit weird after taking then though, and answering the same question from him about 15 times does get a bit annoying but what the hell). I pity those of you with this fear its a horrible thing to have, best of luck with it all.

P.S. make sure you do not travel alone if you take these pills I once found this guy outside arrivals in dublin airport about to take some dublin skanger up on his offer to carry his bags.:D

ArphaRima

I completely disagree with any suggestion for the use of drugs. This could impair your ability to react and survive anything that did happen.
Best therapy is experience. Flying lessons are a good idea. Anything I have fear of I do. Except allow giant insects sit on my face.

Black Swan

Had a friend who was not only afraid of flying, but also of heights. So during therapy, with her parents involved, it was discovered she had rolled off the bed as a baby and hit the floor. The therapist used a method called systematic desensitization, where she was progressively exposed to small, medium. and higher levels, all with the support of caring parents and therapist, and now she has lost her fear of heights and can fly also.

Ruu_Old

Glad to hear it went well for you, OP. Best of luck for the future.