Think your partner is cheating how to find out?

joebhoy1916

Hi

Was just wondering if there is anyway to
find out if your partner is cheating. Im not talking
about change in life style or anything like that
but by catching them with there mobile. Some
siteshe UK are

www.followus.co.uk
www.mobilelocate.co.uk

But these are only in the UK and involve
getting your partner's phone.


But has anyone ever heard of a thing you
can do in Ireland your supposed to be able to
find out what numbers they are ringing and who
they are texting anyone ever heard of it or done it?

LegacyUser

Talk to them?

Beruthiel

why not just ask your partner?

Keedowah

wtf?!

If anyone tracked me using my phone i'd be livid!

Ask them, plain and simple.

Beruthiel

I'd also like to say, that if it's come to where your trust is totally gone and you cannot even talk to them, then why are you still with this person?

ferdi

this is crazy talk, man check your head out....tracking their mobile? nuts.

LegacyUser

ferdi wrote:

this is crazy talk, man check your head out....tracking their mobile? nuts.

Lets say that you do not want to ask them.

Lets say if you had a range to assets eg property, cash, shares and you were married would it not be better to find out and protect your assets so she could not get them before you get rid of the cheating tramp (if that was the case)

The law affords too much protection today to partners that enter relationships without any assets but expect half on leaving. It is not a mans duty to supprt a woman he broke up with. (It is his duty to support his kids)

Tobias Greeshman

This whole idea of tracking your partner by private eye, etc. someone's been watching too much <insert corny american drama here like melrose place>.

And in all fairness if you are considering taking these actions, then you need to think that all trust has gone from your relationship. Firstly talk to your partner and hear their side firstly, before you start jumping to conclusions.

~Leanne~

No point being in a relationship if this kinda talk starts!!!!! You seem like a bit of a weirdo - tracking phonecalls!!

joebhoy1916

Keedowah wrote:

wtf?!

If anyone tracked me using my phone i'd be livid!

Ask them, plain and simple.

Wouldnt be posting here if she told me!
Im going out with my girlfriend on and off over
five years. We have a child together she used to
cheat on me but swears she doesnt but i know
its rubbish. I used to find out she was texting
other guys found message's on her phone.
But have no hard proof that she is cheating
i dont want to finish with her because what
if it was a mistake id miss my daughter.


Im not a perv or anything its just id like to know
who she texts. I dont want to track her

jubi lee

ok lets put aside the issue that tracking your partners phone usage etc is probably not the sign of a healthy relationship!!

if she is cheating and she uses her phone to message other guys, then you'll most probably find that she is very secretive with her phone and does not want you near it. i.e. she won't put it down. if on the other hand she has no probs with u picking it up and she picks up yours then the probabiltiyt is she's not cheating.

are you living togther?

fuzzywiggle

Yeah I understand what you're saying joebhoy but unfortunately I don't kow of any place that can help you

joebhoy1916

jubi lee wrote:

ok lets put aside the issue that tracking your partners phone usage etc is probably not the sign of a healthy relationship!!

if she is cheating and she uses her phone to message other guys, then you'll most probably find that she is very secretive with her phone and does not want you near it. i.e. she won't put it down. if on the other hand she has no probs with u picking it up and she picks up yours then the probabiltiyt is she's not cheating.

are you living togther?

She never leaves it down for a second.
No were not. I dont want to track her
the truth is its ruining my life always
thinking that she is cheating.

jubi lee

well i have to say that's a surefire sign, if she wasn't secretive with her phone when you first went out together and now she is. (i know 2 people who found out their longterm partners were cheating this way) She's entitled to her privacy but if you have a kid togther etc then you should ask her straight out why she is so secretive with it. to be honest it doesn't look good. and if she is cheating she isn't going to admit it.

the only way you'll find out is:
A) you ask her and she's honest
you see her phone bill
C) catch her in the act

Beruthiel

joebhoy1916 wrote:

the truth is its ruining my life always
thinking that she is cheating.

then you honestly have to sit back and ask why you are still with her

joebhoy1916

jubi lee wrote:

and if she is cheating she isn't going to admit it.


I know thats why im asking if anyone knows
if there is anyway i can find out who she is
ringing or texting. So i would know for sure.

She doesnt get bill its pay as you go.

Beruthiel wrote:

then you honestly have to sit back
and ask why you are still with her

The truth is i love her and my daughter.

jubi lee

hmmm the only other option is a private eye if you want to spend the money. all messages etc are recorded and kept for 2 or 3 years on the phone companies servers. but it is utterly illegal to get your hands on any of that. but maybe a private eye would have other methods!

to be honest, you will most proabbly never get out and out proof and even if it does will it change anything? you already know that she cheated previously and you continued seeing her. really think about it... if you found out in an hours time that she was cheating no doubt, would you walk away completely? I would guess not...

Beruthiel

joebhoy1916 wrote:

The truth is i love her and my daughter.

and if you find that she is cheating on you, would you consider her to love you back as much as you do her?

joebhoy1916

Of course i would walk away. I know she did ages
ago but not sure about now.

Beruthiel wrote:

and if you find that she is cheating on you, would you consider her to love you back as much as you do her?

Dont no what ya mean by that?

Beruthiel

joebhoy1916 wrote:

Dont no what ya mean by that?

I'm asking if you know that she loves you.
I don't get how anyone can cheat on someone they truly love, therefore if she's cheated on you before, then she doesn't and has little respect for you.
You know that already or you wouldn't have posted this thread.

Fanny Cradock

this is crazy talk. what's this obsession with her phone? frankly, it's very odd and more than a little disturbing.

as has been said many times before, you could simply confront her with your suspicions. why exactly do you think she is cheating on you now? workiong late? meeting friends at the weekend? what? there are better ways to find out other then weird **** like tracking her phone.

however, if she has cheated on you in the past, and if she is doing it now, then that's hardly love on her part, is it! to be honest (your child aside) it sounds like you are better off with out each other.

joebhoy1916

you could simply confront her with your suspicions!

Its would be a good idea if you read the posts
i posted awhile ago. Oh yeah better ways well
tell me some?

She says she loves but i honestly dont
no after all would ya cheat on someone
you loved? I wouldnt and have been to
Amsterdam twice the guys will know what
im talking about.

Hobart

Obviously not all relationships are the same. Questioning the op's reasons and potential reactions is silly. We cannot feel what he feels, and we do not live his life.

For example, some people are happy in open realationships, ask yourself if you would be? Does that mean people in open relationships are not happy?

Wether the op's other half is cheating on him or not, a number of things are plain from this posting. He is obviously suspicious about his partners fidelity. He does not feel comfortable with just "asking her" . His actions, if he takes any, after finding out one way or the other, are none of our business.

Now to your question. The simple answer is no. Not in this country legally. If you knew somebody who worked in your girlfriends mobile operators service provider, you could ask them to provide you with that information. You will not get that information legally, from the provider, without a court order.

Your only option is too get a look at her phone tbh.

The software exists, however. The US networks use a product called Kalea, to do this. The uk networks use a similar product, but I'm not sure what it is called.

Location based services are being pushed more and more by mobile network operators, and this type of software will become more prevelant. Big Brother is actually watching you.

Fanny Cradock

well, if talking is out of the question then you're right, tracking your partner's phone is the ONLY way to see if she is cheating.

if you are willing to do something as weird as tracking her phone, then what's to stop you from taking the easier option and picking up her phone and looking at her private messages?

if you believe she is cheating on you and you think she would lie to your face about it then why stay with her?

joebhoy1916

She deletes the messages.

Anyone work in Vodafone who could get me it
would be willing to pay! All i would need is the
numbers she is texting for even two days.

LegacyUser

joebhoy1916 wrote:

She deletes the messages.

Anyone work in Vodafone who could get me it
would be willing to pay! All i would need is the
numbers she is texting for even two days.

Oh god, noone is going to risk their job doing that. Ok, what you are doing is not the ideal way to handle this, but I can see where you are coming from, you wont confront her without proof cos if she denies it you have nowhere to go with the accusation. You want to be holding all the cards if you are going to risk yours and your daughters stability.

If hers is a bill phone, she will probably guard the bill with her life, but thats the easiest way of seeing whats what. Get to it before her, or request another be sent out, somehow.

Are their other signs shes cheating? Lack of or increased sex drive? Picking arguments with you for v little? Lack of interest in home life? Unexplained absences? Not taking phone calls in front of you? Or physical signs...stubble rash, for instance. (not being funny) Or taking a shower immediately after coming home?

Hobart

joebhoy1916 wrote:

She deletes the messages.

Anyone work in Vodafone who could get me it
would be willing to pay! All i would need is the
numbers she is texting for even two days.

Nobody would be willing to do that. Not only would they be in danger of loosing their jobs, they could, in theory, face a lenghty jail sentence.

Mr. Presentable

Text her from a phone she doesn't know

Hi, left phone at work/shop, text back to this one. What you doing? How you feel? etc

See if she goes for it

finnpark

Well if she uses a house phone then I can help you.

Mobiles are more difficult. All calls, texts , emails etc are scanned by special branch at Shannon butn apart from that its really difficult. I think you need to try get her phone or SIM card. Can you try stealing her phone? The whole thing sounds very suspicious and your right to try and catch her, it will be fun even maybe. Let us know how u get on.:)

conky_05

Unregregreg wrote:

Oh god, noone is going to risk their job doing that.

they have.

and promptly gotten fired though !!!

galah

Not so Crazy wrote:

Lets say that you do not want to ask them.

Lets say if you had a range to assets eg property, cash, shares and you were married would it not be better to find out and protect your assets so she could not get them before you get rid of the cheating tramp (if that was the case)

The law affords too much protection today to partners that enter relationships without any assets but expect half on leaving. It is not a mans duty to supprt a woman he broke up with. (It is his duty to support his kids)

There are things called "prenups"...And apart from that, it would be the woman's duty to support the man if he had no assets - so there...

Esel

As people said, just ask her straight out ffs!

Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean your girlfriend is not cheating on you.

Please lay off the Return key when posting, unless you are making a new paragraph. It makes your posts look like poetry, and bad poetry at that.

@galah: No such thing as a pre-nup in this country.

takola

nipplenuts wrote:

Text her from a phone she doesn't know

Hi, left phone at work/shop, text back to this one. What you doing? How you feel? etc

See if she goes for it

This seems like a good idea? even just buy a new sim card and text her from that? If she is curious and starts texting back then you'll know what she's up to.
Question though : what if she isnt cheating and you're just being paranoid? i hear that you two have a child together but she's cheated on you before and trust is obviously a big problem for you now. It does sound like she is, but what would you do if she wasnt? The fact that you've started this thread says that your relationship is in trouble either way!!!