The Boards.ie Chat up Line...

Stench Blossoms

Myself and Repli were out in Heaven tonight and we decided that we would see if a boards referenced chat up line would work.

"Hi, i'm Repli, i've 3000+ posts on boards, AND i'm a mod"

Sadly it didn't work as he got regected 4 times. (5 if you include me)

But we had also come to the conclusion that it was Heaven, and alot of people wouldn't use boards, or know what the "internet" is.

It could might also not have worked because Repli can't dance and steals peoples drinks.

So let this be a lesson, the boards.ie chat up line doesn't work in Heaven.

Karl Hungus

Clearly women want someone with 10,000+ posts. Those are the big-shots around here.

Tar.Aldarion

Karl Hungus wrote:

Clearly women want someone with 10,000+ posts. Those are the big-shots around here.

Damn, when will they learn to respect the rest of us.:mad:

turbot

It's clearly an issue about the delivery, body language and so on.

Maybe a little tweaking his accent and posture will work wonders.

Next time he's out, get him to say:

"Whas' de storieee?"

"I goh over 3000 bords"

"Jaysus, Ai-'m a mod"

At which point he should reach under his "prospects" skirt and delicately place his finger over her, ahem, and peer into her eyes, start thinking about playing battlefield 2 like he can see the monitor in her pupils, then start tapping the fire key with his finger.

Provided his firing is swift and precise enough to leave her feeling more than a little bit overclocked, and he deals with this excess temperature using decent alcohol cooling for her, quickly he'll start feeling like he's won an auction on ebay.

And if he has any wing men / or women who want her also, they can make sure they flash their t-shrt that says "I'll offer asking, put me next in line" in case he pulls out of the deal.

Bound to work for sure, even in Heaven.

JaysusMacfeck

The 'lurkers' are usually the best lovers...

Ruu_Old

Check these few:

"I can do 1.94 posts a day, what bout you?" *cheesy grin and wink*
"So what do ya think of me new sig?"
"I got banned from 3 forums today, ooohh im bad to the bone!":D

Lafortezza

Number of boards modded is directly linked to penis size (more boards = more pleasure).


Scientific FACT!

Repli

Karl Hungus wrote:

Clearly women want someone with 10,000+ posts. Those are the big-shots around here.

It's so true

spoofilyj

Better build my post count quick if i ever want to get some!!!:eek:

azezil

scream "SEX SURPRISE!" and hump their leg furiously

Rhyme

Walk up... wink... "83.70.72.91?"... Score.

Kolodny

10,000+ Boards Bloke: *flashes post count*
Random Bird in nightclub: *swoon*

**Timbuk2**

Clearly they want someone with 650+ posts but less than 750 posts.... thats where the real attention lies

Sparky

"Hi, Im Sparky, lets have some electrifying sex tonight".

Waits for a slap or a laugh.

**Timbuk2**

"Hi, I'm Timbuktu, wanna go have sex in Timbuktu??"

lol

Sofaspud

My internet penis is tiny, in this case.

Although I am a creator on a MUD, which chicks obviously dig.

Go me!

Stench Blossoms

It was quite funny. Girls we're just looking at him like he had about 5 heads.

melekalikimaka

stalk her for a few weeks...sneak into her house, get her IP adrress...go to the club


'so how bout the two of us go back to 192.168.1.268(her place)'

(when you realise that she is in fact confused ans thinking...not staring longingly into your eyes, proceed to tell her what an ip address is and how you obtained it...most night clubs could get police there in 2 or 3 minutes so i'd reccommend a getaway car of some kind waiting outside)

BobTheBeat

Chances are if shes on 192.168.1.268, you are dreaming, or she is stalking you and putting info on your machine (:( )

s10

unleash the beast, approach likely candiate, and comment on ur new shoes.

scojones

I might try this for the laugh. I'll have to wait to reach the 3k+ posts though.

projectmayhem

just tell her you're a "l337 hax0r" and want to "open her ports"

...no? ok, i'll get my coat then.

killswitch

you are all lame

Ruu_Old

Bring a printout of your boards profile and your system specs, and your sorted

Pyr0

It would be a case of "Mine is bigger than his" if it comes to that :P

Repli

sjones wrote:

I might try this for the laugh. I'll have to wait to reach the 3k+ posts though.

It's good for a laugh yeah I wasn't serious or anything cos I have a girlfriend, but you do get some dodgy looks lol, and 1 girl start screaming at me and orla when I said it to her..

metrovelvet

You are a sad sad sad bunch.

parasite

would "I have 78,436 friends on myspace.com" work ?
hmmm

Scraggs

What if a girl said it to one of ye? What would the reaction be?

[if someone said it to me I'd be impressed ...lol]

scojones

Repli wrote:

It's good for a laugh yeah I wasn't serious or anything cos I have a girlfriend, but you do get some dodgy looks lol, and 1 girl start screaming at me and orla when I said it to her..

Oh now I'm definately trying this

I'm tempted to try this with some guys in a club sometime see what happens

Tar.Aldarion

If somebody said it to me I would laugh my ass off. Then I would buy them a drink I guess.

Stench Blossoms

It was the "And a mod" bit that got me going lol.

**Timbuk2**

Chicks dig men that use Linux...

They also don't like much for Hosted Moderators... usually its the super mods there into

Tar.Aldarion

**Timbuk2** wrote:

Chicks dig men that use Linux...

They also don't like much for Hosted Moderators... usually its the super mods there into

Us poor Hmods with less than 10k posts never get a break.
I rarely even use linux.
I'll always be alone...unless Repli tries the line on me.

azezil

"Hey baby, wanna go halfs on a newbie?"

**Timbuk2**

Hey babe, gimme a blowjob and I'll put your name as my custom user title

simu

I started off with my bf by banning him... boards mojo really works!

melekalikimaka

azezil wrote:

"Hey baby, wanna go halfs on a newbie?"

brilliant

casanova_kid

"I won't put you on my ignore list if you ride me". Works every time.

Sam Vimes

teh bestz0r:

l3ts go 4 sum http://198.87.233.110

**Timbuk2**

**Timbuk2** wrote:

"Hi, I'm Timbuktu, wanna go have sex in Timbuktu??"

lol

So you must be a lady or gay?

Tar.Aldarion

Maybe he just likes girls inside him?
Lollers.

or a gerbil up the butt!if you love your gerbil(a little chimney sweeper) dont stick him up your butt!

**Timbuk2**

Deleted User wrote:

So you must be a lady or gay?

Neither. Was only messin :rolleyes:

daiixi

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

If somebody said it to me I would laugh my ass off. Then I would buy them a drink I guess.

sweeeeeeeeeeet!! I'm definitely going to say it to you then if I ever meet you! and if I ever remember that I posted this

Tar.Aldarion

Oh no. What have I done. I will be penniless after the next boards beers.

Manic Moran

I shall, for the purposes of experimentation, try out such a line here in Silicon Valley. As the World Center of Interweb Nerddom, if it doesn't work here, it won't work anywhere.

NTM

tba

Surely the line

"I work in Silicon Valley"

would be enough

daiixi

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Oh no. What have I done. I will be penniless after the next boards beers.

good thing I have one of the worst memories in the world.

azezil

"Can I borrow a euro? ["What for?"] I want log on to boards.ie and tell them about meeting the girl (guy) of my dreams."