How many friends have you?

Stabshauptmann

First off yes bebo is annoying and blah blah blah.

One thing that struck me though was a guy with 216 friends. I thought to myself, nobody has that many friends. But I could be using a different yard stick to everyone else.

This isnt about bebo or myspace etc or friends lists, this is a question about Real Life, whatever that is to you.
Neither is it a e-penis measuring contest, I have more friends than you - so there:rolleyes:

Can anybody guess which female AH and TCN poster I might be thinking of

Im intereste in how do you define a friend?
I define a real friend as someone:
A) You do, try to or would like to see every (other) day
Always enjoy spending time with them, and dont have to fake it or humour them because they're a friend of a friend or part of the social circle
C) Dont limit interactions with them eg I only ever see mates from sports clubs for club related activities
D) Someone you confide in, ask advise or dont have to be careful about what you say around them, even around mutual close friends or even someone they'd be very close to but you wouldnt.

Ive got a lot of work colleges, class mates, team members and drinking buddies; but of the approx 100 ppl on my bebo, I only consider about 10 real freinds.

But then again, I might just be being overly selective with my terminology.

Thoughts? Opinons? Experiences?

plonk

From home ive got about 12-14 really good friends which is too many. Its too much to handle in my opinion. Then with college maybe 20 in all. Its hard to find a medium between the 2 groups. But of these 20 I would consider 6 or 7 to be best friends. Having 100 friends is not possible maybe 100 people know you but there not friends just acquaintances.

slipss

Trying really really hard not to sound like a fukkking prick, but probably failing, I'd have to add E to your list, as in E) Someone I have actually met and not just an internet styley person. If you think 10 people you have met on BEBO you would consider REAL friends I'd advise you to reconsider.

skye

I would say I only have about 3 "friends"... using your above yardstick...Even beyond that I have very few - these 3 have been my friends for years - all through the natural progression of life and moving on but these have remained constant. I don't see as much of them as I would like but I know when I lift the phone etc.. it's like I saw them yesterday - I can be me - warts and all and they accept me for who I am but also keep me in check if I need it!! Real friends shouldn't be measured by quantity but by quality...

Sparky

I have 5 decent best friends. The rest I would just consider as the people that you know but only get to see maybe twice a week.

slipss

Sparky I'm always glad when you post, I'm not sure why, nice sig btw

Tar.Aldarion

Bah I have a lot. Home, college, work, it gets you a lot of friends - especially college.
Did I mention my best friend is a talking pie?

Riamfada

Do boardsies class as friends? Cause if they dont Im so lonely

Fast_Mover

Iv loads of friends from home, college and sports related activities..but iv two extemely close bestfriends, they know everything there is to know about me and vica versa..

Goodshape

A) You do, try to or would like to see every (other) day

I'd say I'd know about eight people (ten just seems little too high for some reason) I'd try to keep in regular contact with.

Always enjoy spending time with them, and dont have to fake it or humour them because they're a friend of a friend or part of the social circle

Plenty of these to be honest.. maybe around 20 - 30, although I enjoy most peoples company. Actually, the people who's company I enjoy the least are usually those other ones, the 'friend of a friend or part of the social circle' people. And I know plenty of those too.

C) Dont limit interactions with them

The last two answers would refer to these types of friends.

D) Someone you confide in, ask advise or dont have to be careful about what you say around them, even around mutual close friends or even someone they'd be very close to but you wouldnt.

That would be the real kicker for me, and I'd say I have about three or four 'true' friends. There's others that I would think just as highly of and prehaps like to be able to confide in, but I tend to move in fairly large social circles and I think that makes it harder to establish 'true' friends (very rare that you'd ever go for a drink with just one, or even two, mates - 'the gang' invariably tags along).

deaddonkey

I have lots of acquaintances from previous jobs, school, college etc.

I have 2 close friends. I have one other guy who's a "mate" but not a close friend. I see them when they're around, we go for a night out or for a meal or listen to music together...

I'd like to have a couple of others to get into new social circles because the 3 i speak of are all from school and i don't meet new people through them...

But I'd rather have 2 or 3 close friends than 2 dozen mates.

i guess i'm fairly unpopular, about 5 people turned up to my birthday party last year. Not that it bothers me.

my internet "friends" that i've never met are the ones i get along with the best, i've picked them up over the years from postboards... i spend more time with them than with my real life friends since they've all packed off to university.

Ruu_Old

I have one boardsie on my list and the rest are college/school friends..about 3 of them are close to me.

Awayindahils

Within college, i know a huge amount of people, who i quite happily go drinking with and hang out with but i have two best friends, who know everything and on the ****ty hangover days are around when theres no fun to be had or theres general life sh*te abounding.

Infact for a good while at the start of college, the people who have become my best friends, were not the people i used to go out with, but people who i hung around with during the day.

anyway to get to a point of sorts, i would never feel lonely for want of someone to talk about the weather or exams or stuff like to, but i only have about 3 maybe four people, excluding family to whom i am able to confide in,and i find an ability to confide insomeone, without fear of judgement hugely important, and a definite mark of a true friend.

and as for whether internet people are friends, if you confide in them, talk to them regularily, have gotten over the general suspission of internet friendship eg at first assume it is male or at least are confindent in what they tell you, so that an element of, well they don't ahve to tell em the truth do they, dosnt cross your mind, then yes theyre your friends.

tman

slipss wrote:

Trying really really hard not to sound like a fukkking prick, but probably failing, I'd have to add E to your list, as in E) Someone I have actually met and not just an internet styley person. If you think 10 people you have met on BEBO you would consider REAL friends I'd advise you to reconsider.

a friend of mine uses bebo, and she knows every single person on her friend list personally.
i know about 70% of mine in RL...
not everybody adds complete randomers to their friend list:p

back on topic; C

cormie

Another few defining factors of what "real" friends are:

- you can call around to their house without arranging it.
- you don't depend on there being other people going out with you to ask that specific person out, so you'd be cool hanging out with just the two of you and not needing other people there to fill the void.

Wolf

People, I enjoy company with and keep in touch with are people I would call mate's, just my terminolgy. As for those kind of people I would say I would have, yes, maybe 100+. I am lucky that way I would admit.

As for random mates 200/300 maybe/probably more.

However, people I would call real friends, as in people that are there for me and me for them when I need them. People who don't judge me and would support me. People who I wouldn't see for years, but, you can pick up whereever I left off. These, people are different and are few and far between.

As for those friends again, I am quite lucky and have moved around alot, so I would say I have maybe 10/15 of those kind of people. Although, people who would be there when it really comes to the crunch? Maybe 5?

My mum says if you can count your real friends on more than one hand you are blessed and I would have to agree with her.

Sleepy

If I can stretch your definition a little, personally I'd have quite a few VERY good friends that I just don't see all that often because we've moved to different cities etc. as we've grown up. I'd be in contact with most of them once or twice a week through SMS, email, phone or whatever but in terms of people that know all my dark little secrets and that I can turn to whenever I need them, I'd be lucky enough to have 12 friends that I could count on and that could count on me for anything.

BoozyBabe

I have about 5 real friends (that match your criteria above)

There's about another 5 or so that I'd regard as being a lot more than just acquaintances, but they're not in the same league as above.

I've always preferred to have a few proper friends that you can rely on for anything as opposed to loads of supposed friends.

Feenikusu

I have 4 real friends, they are all in my grade at school and I usually see them every day.
Then there are 2 of which I don't know if they are still friends. They used to be when they were in my grade, but one of them skipped a school year and the other one has left school and I haven't seen her for nearly a whole year. Now we only have contact via Internet but I would still call them friends in real life.

fruitcake

I have about four close friends at home, and five to six from my college days and about another 4 or 5 that I see regularly but wouldn't consider to be close to but still enjoy their company!

AdMMM

I'd say I have about 3 or 4 close friends and about 8 or 9 good friends.

jsr

Had to hide a body the other day. Let me tell you THAT is the type of thing that shows you who your friends are. I would have quite a few mates but 3 people turned up to help me dig a hole in the dark.(and another who will claim we never left the house all night).

pbsuxok1znja4r

I have about 5 or 6 of those real friends, by the OP's criteria, which is too many to keep in regular contact with, really. (On an individual basis).
Luckily my two best friends (of 13+ years) live a matter of yards away, so we three see each other (nearly) every day.
Add another 5 or 6 good college mates to that, who I don't see as much..because I don't go into college enough...

Flex

Interesting, Iv never actually thought about it too much. Id say I have 4 or 5 'real' friends who I see often and hang out with and 6 other friends who I see alot at college or at sports clubs and occassionally have a night out with. But I have a good few I chat to on MSN but rarely (if ever) meet up with in 'real life'.

hullaballoo

Does anyone else operate a tiered network of friends? Like a hierarchy?

No, that's a joke, but I definitely do have different circles of friends due to the different circumstances from which I know them.

Like, I have 3-4 best friends who I've known since I was about 2, but I don't see them too much. No matter what happened between any of us, we'd all still be best friends.

Then there are other best friends who you go to the pub with and hang around with and generally get on reall well with, but you can imagine circumstances where you could end up not being friends with them.

Then there are those who you get on really well with but don't see too much etc.

So on, and so on.

robinph

I have about 5 real friends but due to us all now living in different countys/ countries I might not have any contact with them for months at a time so fail on that criteria that the OP set, but they are still much better friends than anyone that I might see every day or week in work or up the pub.

Hermione*

Some of my best, most trusted friends are no longer in the country but I'd still count them as friends despite seeing them so rarely, and we'd still be in very close contact. Both my school 'group' and college 'group' have splintered over time and distance, but my approach is that I'm in touch with those I get on best with, and people who dont want to or cant keep in touch were great friends for a while, but not lasting friends.

That being said, I'd count my two sisters as my closest friends, and we all live in different parts of Ireland and rarely are the three of us together at the same time. My little sister would be my ultimate best friend, and I've gone for up to three months without seeing her ... we have the worst fights at times, but we always make up eventually, none of my other friends (who I may get on better with) could replace our friendship.

segadreamcast

"I bet I have more friends than you have cows...how many cows have you got?" "Oh...I don't know... a hundred." "Well I've got 102 friends."

What a load of crap - who cares how many friends you all have? Nobody, that's who. If you told a friend how many friends you had, then you'd suddenly have to subtract one from that number.

Peteee

I'd say I have maybe 5 or 6 true, proper friends that I could tell pretty much anything too,and could go out for drinks individually.

Then another 15 or so, mates (Some extremely good friends, others just there)

kaimera

Ditto Pete.

Perhaps less 'very close' friends with a handful of good friends

projectmayhem

i've got about 4 or 5 very close friends (including gf in this), and about 20 other "good" friends, with a few others scattered around. i'd say this number is probably down to my age (21), and getting to know people from school, college, work etc.

Wolf

NoelRock wrote:

"I bet I have more friends than you have cows...how many cows have you got?" "Oh...I don't know... a hundred." "Well I've got 102 friends."

What a load of crap - who cares how many friends you all have? Nobody, that's who. If you told a friend how many friends you had, then you'd suddenly have to subtract one from that number.

Wow, really informative post there and right on topic too.

I mean if you actaully read the OP's post or any of the other posts you would realise that this isn't the point of the thread and no one is trying to go that direction.

Obviously your due care and attention to details like listening/reading other opinions, is probably why you have no friends and felt the need to responed to the thread title in the way that you did :rolleyes:

ferdi

7 or 8 i'd say

dundalk cailin

i have three best friends, then college/people i know from town friends, and now, french friends.
i prefer having a smaller group of close friends

Cosine

I have around 20 good friends from college.

We all hang around in a big group and we know each other very well. Been hanging around with most them for almost 3 years now. I'm on Co-op from college but I am still talking to most of them on a regular basis

segadreamcast

Wolf wrote:

Wow, really informative post there and right on topic too.

I mean if you actaully read the OP's post or any of the other posts you would realise that this isn't the point of the thread and no one is trying to go that direction.

Obviously your due care and attention to details like listening/reading other opinions, is probably why you have no friends and felt the need to responed to the thread title in the way that you did :rolleyes:

Did I say it was about the OP? Look at most of the replies after the first few and try to under-stand. *Slow applause* Brav-o.

Personal abuse too. Nice.

casanova_kid

I have a friend called Tom, people say i'm lieing, but he's real, he speaks to me in ways never heard before or never heard now. Sometimes we drink tea and reminise about the fatherland.

Boston

I don't have friends, just enemies and lesser enemies.

**Timbuk2**

I have alot of friends from school. I have 2 really close friends as well

Tar.Aldarion

NoelRock wrote:

Did I say it was about the OP? Look at most of the replies after the first few and try to under-stand. *Slow applause* Brav-o.

Personal abuse too. Nice.

What are you talking about?
People seem to have answered quite honestly and without any e-penisness at all.

segadreamcast

Potentially Interesting Thread Question wrote:

Im intereste in how do you define a friend?

That's what was asked - along with thoughts, opinions and experiences - as well as the question "How many friends have you?". Interesting, mature thread idea - but what do we get around fifteen posts later? "I have 12 friends, 2 good ones"..." I have thirty friends I hang around with - and 10 good friends". etc All thrilling stuff, I'm sure, but kind of missing the real point of the thread. That's what I'm talking about.

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

What are you talking about?
People seem to have answered quite honestly and without any e-penisness at all.

Tar.Aldarion

NoelRock wrote:

"I bet I have more friends than you have cows...how many cows have you got?" "Oh...I don't know... a hundred." "Well I've got 102 friends."

This implies you were talking about something else is all. That is what my sentence is aimed at.

What a load of crap - who cares how many friends you all have? Nobody, that's who. If you told a friend how many friends you had, then you'd suddenly have to subtract one from that number.

It does answe the other question somewhat.
If somebody says they have one hundred close friends and somebody says they have two, a different yardstick is obviously being used and I'm sure the OP can figure out what yardstick a poster is using simply by the number and type of friends.

segadreamcast

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

This implies you were talking about something else is all. That is what my sentence is aimed at.

Alan Partridge quote that the title reminded me of.

To get back on point... I'd agree with the OP's definition of friendship. B, in particular, is a very insightful point. Personally, I'd have to say that, despite being in college now, all of my "real, proper" friends came from my secondary school years. I don't know what it is about college - maybe I'm too old, or maybe it's because we're all broadly too similar - but I just never feel as close to them...

CathyMoran

Close friends - less than 10 - these would be people that I would trust with my life, I can be the real me with, I would not see all of them every day (or even every month) and there might be lulls in contact for a while but when we meet up again it is as if we were never apart, some of my friends have moved abroad so it is more akward to see them, another one of my close friends is my father.

Good friends - less than 10 - I have a few really close penfriends, two are people that I used to date but we did not throw the friendship out afterwards. Another is someone that I do not know well enough yet.

Have lots of aquantances.

I always find that it takes years to know who your friends are.

Squaddy

I just have one friend I hang out with but I wouldnt call him a real friend...
I have 30 friends that i play football with...

dubambman

I think Tony Soprano got it right when he said "Sooner or later every friend lets you down, family is what matters".

Sony

You really find this out when you need your "friends" most

I learned this the hard way

Real Friends I talk to during the week and go out with on a regular basis - Ive 5

There are a fair few others but none I could trust with my winning lotto ticket

Aporia

I have two best friends as in tell them anything and can depend on them for anything. The rest are just acquaintances really who I hang around with every now and again.

Miss Fluff

Have tonnes of friends and acquaintances who I would see regularly and can socialise with etc......Aside from family, how many people would actually help me bury a body? 5

raheny red

Well have a good few!

School
College
Beechlawn Rovers
Shelbourne F.C.
Girlfriend
People from around the area

That's all really!

casanova_kid

"We will go on................." punch kick. Sentimentalists have friends, real men like me, Adolph and Joseph network. Machiavellians FTW.