Stupid comments by Americans!!!!

mayotom

Do you have a moon or stars in Ireland?

How long does it take to drive to Ireland?

Do you know any Leprecans?

Is this the first time you've seen an Automobile?

How do you survive without Electricty?

Just a few comments I've heard while I was Stateside. the worst thing is these people were been genuine

Anybody got anymore to add

RE*AC*TOR

mayotom wrote:

Stupid comments be Americans!!!!

PowerHouseDan

He has to BE an american!

mayotom

PowerHouseDan wrote:

He has to BE an american!

Just tired been a long day..

biko

This is a real letter to the Galway Advertiser, I have the paper clipping at home. It's about a year old or so.

Dear Editor,
I post this letter on my departure from Ireland, with a heavy heart.

On my recent visit to Ireland I briefly took in the enchanting city of Galway and quite frankly I was a little disturbed by what I saw. I am from New York and as a little girl growing up I have been made aware that these little guys' main purpose is to entertain us tourists, how and ever, as I prepared to board my flight to Ireland I was filled with excitement as I was finally going to come face to face with a real live leprechaun.

I spent four weeks touring Ireland, north to south, east to west, and I didn't even see one. It was only while walking down Eyre Square that the reason for this became clear - as one of the local pubs was clearly stating the fact that they "no longer test their shirts on leprechauns," it's obvious that you no longer think you require the benefits of the leprechaun, don't you realise your country is nothing but fields and trees without them.

I was enraged at this. I understand that the introduction of the euro may have slowed things in Ireland down a little, but for pity's sake, the tourists are still travelling to your country and to be blatantly honest, I feel we are being cheated out of appreciating the little guys.

I ask you has it really come to this in Ireland, that the leprechauns are being relegated to the menial job of testing the durability of cotton? You have tarnished your culture. You have tarnished the spirit of the leprechaun. These little guys are the reason your land is so popular; they are the tradition that brings us Americans to your country, and mark my words, if these little guys aren't reinstated, it will be the reason we never return.

Yours,
Mary-Ann Durtz,
New York.

mayotom

biko wrote:

This is a real letter to the Galway Advertiser, I have the paper clipping at home. It's about a year old or so.

Dear Editor,
I post this letter on my departure from Ireland, with a heavy heart.

On my recent visit to Ireland I briefly took in the enchanting city of Galway and quite frankly I was a little disturbed by what I saw. I am from New York and as a little girl growing up I have been made aware that these little guys' main purpose is to entertain us tourists, how and ever, as I prepared to board my flight to Ireland I was filled with excitement as I was finally going to come face to face with a real live leprechaun..

I spent four weeks touring Ireland, north to south, east to west, and I didn't even see one. It was only while walking down Eyre Square that the reason for this became clear - as one of the local pubs was clearly stating the fact that they "no longer test their shirts on leprechauns," it's obvious that you no longer think you require the benefits of the leprechaun, don't you realise your country is nothing but fields and trees without them.

I was enraged at this. I understand that the introduction of the euro may have slowed things in Ireland down a little, but for pity's sake, the tourists are still travelling to your country and to be blatantly honest, I feel we are being cheated out of appreciating the little guys.

I ask you has it really come to this in Ireland, that the leprechauns are being relegated to the menial job of testing the durability of cotton? You have tarnished your culture. You have tarnished the spirit of the leprechaun. These little guys are the reason your land is so popular; they are the tradition that brings us Americans to your country, and mark my words, if these little guys aren't reinstated, it will be the reason we never return.

Yours,
Mary-Ann Durtz,
New York.

Excelent, remember reading that one. got a good laugh.



I was in the US in September 2001 during the World trade Centre attack.

One girl commented " this will be the end of trade in the world bacause after all the World trade centre has been destroyed So lets blow up half the world.

Pal

In New York, I was complimented by a Yank
because I was very good at speaking English.

I was lost for words after that.

mayotom

I worked in Maine for a while where a lot of French Speaking canadians holidayed. The boss always said " why don't those Canadians speak american like the rest of the world"

Megatron

My self and a mate managed to convince my mates cousin that Leprechauns exsisted, but only in the mountains as it didn't have enough oxegen so the couldn't grow as we did, also that as he had heard of the Tara mines we told him it used to be called Tara's mountain but all the gold had been mined out of it .... 3 months he was over and 3 months we never told him .. well more now as he's back in the us these days.


I always get my own back on realy Loud Yanks by telling them the only way to tell if you've got a good pint of guinness is to put a 50 cent/pence coin on the top of the pint and see if it stays up

mayotom

Was working in a shop in Galway when two yanks came in and asked where they could meet a lepricaun, I sent them to the pub around the corner, told them that they have to drink at least 8 pints of Guinness in there before the Lepricauns would trust them and come out of hiding. I met them 6 hours later staggering down the street.
talk about Gulible

Amsterdam

Pal wrote:

In New York, I was complimented by a Yank
because I was very good at speaking English.

I was lost for words after that.

Exact same thing happened to me! I was in guitar store in san diego in 2004 and the guy behind the till asked us where we were from and we said Ireland, and he goes "Wow you guys have great english!" i was seriously tempted to just say nothing and walk out!

dinjo

PowerHouseDan wrote:

He has to BE an american!

i didn't realise we were correcting people's spelling in the "HUMOUR" section...

danniemcq

This is deadly serious (i wish it wasn't though)

workin few weeks back, young yank on the payphone says

An Idiot wrote:

Yeah the leader is some guy called Sinn Fein, yeah he wanted Ireland to join Britain when the going was good

me and my workmate had to go behind the videos to laugh

netwhizkid

Excuse me can you tell me where is the Tourist Office? Having alread walked into it:D Ah those gullible Americans who visit Killarney, I heard they once swallowed the story of Torc Waterfall being built in the 19th Century as a Famine Relief Project. :rolleyes: Intelligent Jarveys feed them all sorts of dribble!

Duffman

This happened a few months ago..

Myself and a friend at the bar, start talking to 2 random American girls.

Girl #1: "So you guys are from Ireland then?"

Us: "Yep"

Girl #1: "Don't you guys have like a famine over there at the moment?"

Us: "Eh.."

Girl #2 to Girl #1: "OMG you're so stupid. Everyone knows that the famine happened like 30 years ago".


On another occasion I watched in McDonalds as a mom told her toddler, "If you don't eat all your fries you won't grow up to be big and strong.." :rolleyes:

timeout

Well while in America talking to guy in bar and said I was from Ireland the guy replied with "How's the weather in Illinois? After explaining how he must have misheard me he commented on how good my english was having come from europe.

The best bit is when they ask if you know John Walsh/Mary Ford/Michael Burke from dublin/cork/galway? I mean they think the place is tiny or that everyone knows everyone in Ireland.

mayotom

timeout wrote:

The best bit is when they ask if you know John Walsh/Mary Ford/Michael Burke from dublin/cork/galway? I mean they think the place is tiny or that everyone knows everyone in Ireland.

Just tell them he's your brother or something like that. they'll belive it

the_syco

dinjo wrote:

i didn't realise we were correcting people's spelling in the "HUMOUR" section...

Eh, it was a joke:p

muppetkiller

Yank says to me : Ah you must be from the North of Ireland because your hair is Dark !

...

toString

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2587661313510275113

Look a the map shown to those interviewed

kittex

I was in Canada over the summer, staying with a Scottish friend and his Canadian wife.

She was doing the dishes and beckoned me over to show me how she did them. "You need to be hygenic you know. Because of germs.".

I was very confused and later asked my friend if his wife was insane.
"Nah" he said "She is just stupid. She thinks Irish and Scots don't wash. You know on account of having no hot water in the huts we grew up in."

kaimera

Got the 'Lucky charms' comment a while back. :-/ Tosser. Trying to be funny.

Generally don't come across many stupid comments when I'm there tbh...not nearly as many as home here :rolleyes:

hmm..might make a funny thread.

lkman

This tread reminds me of the Harry Potter books!! Muggles and wizards..

Anyway, I got some american couple asking me where o'donnell street was once.. they ment O'Connell. When i corrected them they got a better laugh out of it than I did.

BigEejit

Or if you are in Blarney you may be asked where yoggle is (Youghal) ..

also that guy who lowers people to kiss the Blarney stone earns his money, you should see the size of some of the feckers he has to hold on to

gilroyb

not an American tourist story, but one about a foreigner none the less. I was at the bottom of Dawson Street and was asked for directions to "town". I tried to ask where in town or what shop/pub etc., but the guy didn't know, just wanted to get to town. Eventually I sent him towards Dame Street and ran away

RuggieBear

When i was in vegas i wanted to changed some canadian dollars i had from ai previous trip to american dollars....The teller asked me if i was from Canadia? It was all i could do not to laugh in her face

ressem

Why don't we ride cows?

exclaimed an american girl on a student bus from Limerick. Not stupid but certainly drew tears from those of us nearby.

radiospan

An American asking my friend a question about his planned trip to Ireland:

Will there be bulidings and cities in Ireland?

Sgt. Politeness

The best for last:

Friend of my dads was in the GPO once, at the statue of cu chullain (sp?), and this american saunters up to him, looks at the statue and says, 'hey, was this cuchlan guy your first mailman??'

Having said that my gf is american and studying irish history..she knows more about this countrys past than i do...

mysterious

Duffman wrote:

This happened a few months ago..

Myself and a friend at the bar, start talking to 2 random American girls.

Girl #1: "So you guys are from Ireland then?"

Us: "Yep"

Girl #1: "Don't you guys have like a famine over there at the moment?"

Us: "Eh.."

Girl #2 to Girl #1: "OMG you're so stupid. Everyone knows that the famine happened like 30 years ago".


On another occasion I watched in McDonalds as a mom told her toddler, "If you don't eat all your fries you won't grow up to be big and strong.." :rolleyes:

I sense you are a complusive liar, judging by your way of typing an "obvious" joke of yours:rolleyes:

Its just made up, unless you have something convincing to tell us, afterall there is nearly 300 milllion Americans some will be incompatitated to retain a normal conversation. Surely you could have spoken to genuine girls

mysterious

This one is not just pricless but a time when you just love to look down and say not the biggest cool nation afterall.

On some weekend away... I was waiting to get on a bus eirann bus to Galway not to far btw. There happen to be a wedding on in this village. When the wedding was over the crowds would be pouring and I got the sense it was an American couple getting married. I was proven right when an American Guy (with sunglasses on on a not so sunny day) :rolleyes: comes up to me at the bus stop, with a bus stop sign, duh, he at the least copped that I was waiting for a bus but couldn't figure where the timetable was. He asked, (in his langauge) HEY THERE MAN, COULD Y' TELL US HOW THE HELL CAN WE GETTA OUT OF THE HERE? (in my head I wanted to either roar laughing or just run away) I replied, yes sir, 2 oclock, He replied, TODAY?, I said yes! THANK MAN, SEE Y' LATERI swear to god it was hideous.

He walked away thinking he was so cool?? wtf

OutlawBlues

theres this town 'Oola' (after Úlla i imagine)

these americans pull up to a cousin of mine and ask for directions to zero zero LA...


wtf?!

1huge1

OutlawBlues wrote:

theres this town 'Oola' (after Úlla i imagine)

these americans pull up to a cousin of mine and ask for directions to zero zero LA...


wtf?!

yes i live near Oola, i live in a town called Hospital and you can only imagine the things we have been asked
this yank went up to one of my friends and he just said sorry i dont speak american
kinda lousy but still funny but he did help them after that

MarkR

Guy I know has a B&B, and his da took the utter piss when he had some american friends staying over. They're out in the country, and one morning the two americans come down to the kitchen, and the da is coming in from the back garden with his shotgun, cursing away.

"Those damn leprechauns have been at the cabbages again"

Wife (in on it) next day comes in with a yard brush saying she was out for ages sweeping away all the leprechauns, as they're always out on the lawn after a heavy rain.

Me myself (when I was living in the states - born there, guilty as charged), was asked "Do you have VCR's over there?" Sadly enough, the next question was "Ok, do you have TV's?":D

The OP

mayotom wrote:

I was in the US in September 2001 during the World trade Centre attack.

One girl commented " this will be the end of trade in the world bacause after all the World trade centre has been destroyed So lets blow up half the world.

So how much of that did she say? I can't see where your quote ends.

mayotom

The OP wrote:

So how much of that did she say? I can't see where your quote ends.

you might be better off in a grammer thread, not humor

mayotom

I was in a bar in Vermont, the owner was behind the bar and noticed our Irish accents. She was delighted to meet this was the conversation.

Her : I'am 100% Irish
Me : Where in Ireland were you born?
Her : Oh no I was born right here in Vermont
Me : Oh OK then where were your parents born?
Her : Grandparents?
Me : Vermont
Her : Great Grandparents
Me : Vermont

It turned out that all of her Great Great grandparents had moved to the US during the Famine.

but she was very proud of been 100% Irish

Simycol

Dumb things said to me by Irish people:

"New England is a state."

"So, New Jersey is in New York?"

"How do you go to school five hours away from New Jersey if you NY is right beside it?"

"America is 7 hours behind, not 5. It takes 7 hours to get there."

Not to mention the countless times I have been asked if I know xxx from Virginia/New York/Massachusetts.

But all were very proud of their ability to slag others to cover up their own stupidity.

Stabshauptmann

Those are geography issues. Big woop. Believing in fictional beings and thinking we're some backward 3rd world country when we've one of the highes GDP per capa in the world is a much worse type of stupidity

AngryBadger

"Where do you guys learn to speak such good english?"

To which I sarcastically responded, "....a leprechaun mate, he taught me after i saved his life....(realising he was totally buying this explanation)...it's how ALL irish people learn english"

Also,

"Ireland? That doesn't exist, that's like neverneverland"

:eek:

mayotom

Simycol wrote:

"America is 7 hours behind, not 5. It takes 7 hours to get there."

What do you mean?

When people talk about the east coast of the US been 5 hours behind they are talking about the time difference. not how long it takes to get there.
also it can take anything from 1.5 hours to several years to get there depending on your mode of transport.

JaysusMacfeck

I do love americans.

Me: Why do you celebrate Paddy's Day in the States?
Her: It's an American parade
Me: Uh OK, why do you fly my country's flag at it?
her: Umm, is it? I think it's just a coincidence.
Me: *sigh*

I like winding up the yanks:

Me: I can use my Euros in US so that's handy.
Her: No, we use dollar here!
Me: Euro Dollars? America is part of Europe you dumbass
Her: Is it? Maybe euro is the same then..

Pissed my pants at this one:

Yank: How's the war in Ireland right now?
Me: What war?
Yank: There's a war between England and you guys isn't there?
Me: PMSL

stev2604

All SO funny. The funniest thing dat happened to me i suppose was when i was talkin to a friend of a friend on msn :
Her:hey is being called a poser a good thing?
Me: no not at all
Her:its good?
Me:no its actually bad
Her:people keep calling me it and i dont know why!!!


I know its not that funny but its the best ive got

rugbug86

when i was in america a few years ago at a competition dealie, we were asked how we travelled from ireland. I said we walked across on the new bridge, 2 americans said "gee, that must have taken forever" and couldn't understand why i laughed.

same competition, i was really tired one day and generally in a bad mood. one guy asked me what was wrong so i decided to remove the urine to cheer myself up:
Me: in ireland when you're born you get given a leprechaun which stays with you your whole life

Boy: Wow, cool. why isn't he here with you

Me: Couldn't get a passport in time

Boy: Oh, so you're upset cos you miss him?

Me: No, cos he just died in a car accident

Boy: Oh gosh, i'm so sorry.

i walked off, thought nothing off it, until the next day when he arrived with a present to cheer me up.

When it came to going home we were getting a taxi to the airport. got into the taxi and the taximan asked where we were going. I said "ireland, through the tunnel please" and his respone "sorry, cant take the tunnel, i've a job at four" i then peed myself laughing.

Duffman

mysterious wrote:

I sense you are a complusive liar, judging by your way of typing an "obvious" joke of yours:rolleyes:

Its just made up, unless you have something convincing to tell us, afterall there is nearly 300 milllion Americans some will be incompatitated to retain a normal conversation. Surely you could have spoken to genuine girls

I'm sorry, eh what?

BlueSpiral

Last summer my aunt brought us to an Irish pub in Wisconson. Nice pub, irsh stuff all over the wall, even a picture of Micheal Collins. We open the menu, some of it was...
"Lepracaun salad"
"Blarney steak"
"Paddy's fries"
We laughed about that, the lovely wiatress finds out we are irish, so eventually, half way through our meal, the couple who owns this lovely irish pub comes over, congratting us on being the first irish people to ever be in this new pub( woo-pee!*cough*). Then the wife comes over and asked us a question.
"So is it winter over in Ireland at the moment?"

O.o She was being completely serious, the owner of an irish pub, and she thinks Ireland is beside Australia!

kaimera

Remembered this during the week;

Uncle was home for grandparents funerals back then and brought an artist with him to do the headstone art.

Walking along the road one day and he asks "What are those?" referring to the 'cats eyes' in the road.

Follow up question was "Are they diamonds?" Dead serious he was.

Brings a smile to my face the odd time I remember it.

cotwold

When asked for directions in Ireland ive heard the wierdest pronunciations.

Dun Log-hair instead of Dun laoghaire.
Ta-lag-tt instead of Tallaght.
I was ask where Croaghpatrick was and if it was near Crog-ch-patrick "cause that where all the signs directed".

Also when in the gaeltacht an american car stop by me while i was walking on the road. The window was rolled down and a middle aged couple were sitting in the front seat. The following conversation took place.

Lady; Hey you, can you tell me where the mall is.
Me; Cad?
Lady; The MALL(as if saying it loader ever helped)
Me; I dont think youll find a mall around here, sorry, where did you hear there was one?
Lady; There are signs every where for it (as she pointed at an orange sign on which was written "go mall")
Me; Whah(in complete surprise)

They just drove on following the signs:cool:

When i was in the US i was constantly ask where i was from, on account of my "funny accent"
When i replied i was from Ireland about 25% of the people didnt know where i was talking about. I got all kinds of responses like "orleans?" or "where the hell is that?" to which i responded "its in Europe". Oh and offcourse that led to the enevitable statement "your english is great"

I had met this girl in a hotel once and we got talking. She told me she'd love to go to Ireland one day, so i asked her what was stopping her and shed answered as follows.

"well my aunt was there a couple of years ago and she said she could understand almost everything we said but our american had a long way to come"

OMG WTF what is wrong the world that the vast majority of our "most powerful" nation are so uneducated.
ps i love all those leprechaun jokes, im so going to pull them on the next american i talk to.:cool:

mayotom

mayotom wrote:

What do you mean?

When people talk about the east coast of the US been 5 hours behind

Being.
BeING.
The goddamn word is BEING.
Why the hell don't people know the difference?! Speak properly!

Also, funny thread. I haven't come across too many who act stupid.
Or any at all, I suppose. Apart from hearing, often enough, that there's no such language as Irish or that it must be the same as English because they understand what I'm saying :rolleyes:

nachos

this one didn't happen to myself but to a friend. He works in a shop that sells irish music mostly and sells souvenirs and some other stuff.

One day this middle-aged American lady walks into the shop and chooses this tin whistle starter pack. On the front of it are different flags to designate what languages the booklet is in. She goes up to my mate at the counter and asks him "Do you have this in English?". He says yeah, pointing to the British flag indicating the booklet is also in English. She says "no, I don't want it in british-english, i want it in american-english". All he could do was slowly nod and say that she'd have no problem with deciphering it.

For feck's sake, what did she think they were speaking?!

Gurgle

nachos wrote:

She says "no, I don't want it in british-english, i want it in american-english".

I blame microsoft.