teen pregnancy

Im now 20 nearly 21

and i can honestly say theres only a handful of girls i went to school with that now dont have children already.

Why are girls having kids so young??
do you think its anything to do with the way they are brought up or where they come from?
My cousin 21 had a baby as well (im godmother) and one of my nan's friends (who's daughter i went to school with is expecting soon) asked me during the week "so when are you getting started"
I nearly fell out of my standing.

Nothing wrong with it just not for me but why is it so prevalent.

aidan_walsh

Because they have unsafe sex. Haven't you been told how it works?

Endurance Man

My honest opinion, to much underage drinking coupled with horny teenage boys. Oh, and am i to believe that catholics dont believe in contraception

aidan_walsh

Endurance Man wrote:

My honest opinion, to much underage drinking coupled with horny teenage boys. Oh, and am i to believe that catholics dont believe in contraception

They also don't believe in sex before marriage, so its not like they're utter devouts here...

LadyJ

I'd like to say that it's down to lack of education but really it's just down to lack of common sense.

Hagar

You didn't go to St. Slappers by any chance did you?

No, mercy in coolock
in dublin

I left in 3rd year to go to a different one but its mercy i'm talking about

ST*

LadyJ wrote:

I'd like to say that it's down to lack of education but really it's just down to lack of common sense.

Both tbh.

dar83

coolsmileygirl wrote:

No, mercy in coolock
in dublin

A bit close to home for my liking.

I know a fair few Mercy Coolock people and only two I know of have kids (and had them while they were there).

Terry

out of the 30 something girls in my year, only one had a child while still in her teens. two of the guys were fathers though.
most of the people i went to school with still haven't had children. (i'm 30). in fact, there are more of them married/ in a steady relationship (ie, have bought a house with their significant other) than anything.

Nightwish

In my school there was always one or two every year who were pregnant.I finished school 5 years ago and since then there are about 25 - 30 girls from my year who've had kids.

Gazza22

Nightwish wrote:

In my school there was always one or two every year who were pregnant.I finished school 5 years aho and since then there are about 25 - 30 girls from my year who've had kids.

Sorry nightwish, but i actually laughed at this in context of the topic....
Damn i'm bored tonite!
Ok i'll shut up now

Nightwish

damn I'm tired tonight. Anyway the situation with my school could be explained by its nickname - The Pregnant-nation

Gazza22

Nightwish wrote:

damn I'm tired tonight. Anyway the situation with my school could be explained by its nickname - The Pregnant-nation

Ha that bad?

Well onto the topic at hand, unsafe sex and stupidity tbh if you become pregant at a young teen age. I can't imagine any young girl going out of her way to get pregnant

mags82

i don't no what it is do some girls really think its cool to have kids so young ??
i finished school 6 years ago now and my class was small 19 girls in total out of the group 3 of us don't have kids :eek:

Terry

that's what? 83% or something?
that's pretty high.

Pythia

My school had about 100 per year and no one has a baby 2 years on. But my school was in leafy D6...
I'm sure some people have become pregnant, but it's been 'dealt with' if you know what I mean.

tribulus

only one guy i know from my school is a father

i think its combination of things, background-maybe having a young mother yourself, maybe its education, maybe its just being a complete idiot when you're drunk and not using anything. I think the factors change for every person

Setun

coolsmileygirl wrote:

No, mercy in coolock
in dublin

I left in 3rd year to go to a different one but its mercy i'm talking about

As above have said, mostly just idiocy and not fully understanding the responsabilities involved in bringing up a child.

Or maybe they're just looking for a few bob off the government? :D:D
<Meyers who?>

mezzdon

Ok I was 17 when I fell pregnant, 18 when I had my daughter. Although I would never give my daughter up for anything and would never change anything I was far too younge and I totally agree with you. I think alot of it has to do with confidence with the girl aswell men go to bed for sex women go for love. I knew the risks involved with having unprotected sex and yet still went ahead with it. Hence her father and I did not stay together and do not even speak.
I think instead of women having an independent mind nowadays we have this idea of happy familys and crave someone to love us, when infact we should onle be craving love from ourselves. I am actually planning on going to secondary schools in the Kerry region talking about this and I think alot more should be done on this issue, so I would pleed with other younge mothers to go into their local secondary school and talk to them about speaking to the students believe me they will love you for this because there isa huge number of younge girls becomeing pregnant. Nothing makes an impact like talking face to face and showing the reality of a situation. x

rainbow kirby

When I was in school, 3 girls from my year had kids before Leaving Cert (one had a kid 7 weeks before her Junior Cert! :eek: ). Since I left (4 years ago) about 6 more have had kids, funnily enough it was the skangers in my year who had kids. One of the girls who had a kid in school had her second about a year ago.
And like Trib said - being the child of a young mother? My mother was 21 when I was born. I'm 21 now, and I really can't imagine having a kid for many years to come.

RoundyMooney

tribulus wrote:

only one guy i know from my school is a father

i think its combination of things, background-maybe having a young mother yourself, maybe its education, maybe its just being a complete idiot when you're drunk and not using anything. I think the factors change for every person

Perhaps. I don't mean to diss your opinion for a second, merely add to it, in that I think the get out clause (i.e. background and family history) that many people put forward to explain their shortcoming is pure bunkum tbh. I was born to a 17 year old single mother, who these days is more of a big sister, due to the fact that my grandparents (one since sadly deceased) did the parenting while she got on with her life. OTOH I did things more or less the "conventional" way, and didn't become a dad 'til I was 27. I think that if the generous welfare concessions weren't available to teenagers, they may choose to exercise a little more discretion. Just a thought. What is unfair, is that girls are generally blamed for this situation, when they are just the ones that have to carry the consequences. Blame evolution for that one I spose'...

AngryBadger

I don't know if you can really point to any single reason for this. Certainly some demographics seem to be more inclined to have kids younger, but outside of that influence, a lot of people are just irresponsible, and stupid.

Plus some people wind up pregnant for some completely different reason. For example, some people aren't mature enough to actually attent college away form home, and they wind up pregnant because they can't deal with the rpessures, so they get into relationships too deep, too early, and suddenly BAM! bun in the oven

Franky Boy

It really depends on the person and the timing.imo.

Shabadu

aidan_walsh wrote:

Because they have unsafe sex. Haven't you been told how it works?

Hey! We used a condom and still got pregnant when I was 22. Accidents happen, use two forms of contraception people.

Cosine

None from my year got pregnant or were fathers but one of the girls was pregnant and was getting married 3 months after getting out of secondry school. She was still 18!

Met an american two summers ago who was 22 and had 2 kids. One was 7 and the other was 5 :eek: she had been married 3 times aswell!!!

Cosine

Cosine wrote:

Met an american two summers ago who was 22 and had 2 kids. One was 7 and the other was 5 :eek: she had been married 3 times aswell!!!

I wonder if that's a result of "no sex before marriage"...

Aporia

A girl in my year had her baby just before the debs... imagine if she still had the bump for it.

projectmayhem

a guy i went to secondary school with had a kid about a year ago with his 16 year old ex. apparently now his second is on the way, with a different mother, who's also about 16-17.

he's about 20 at this stage

I don't know why it is so rampant in Ireland, or so acceptable. Here in Spain where I am now it is extremely rare to see a teenage mother, in fact I don't think I've ever seen one, anywhere. People were shocked to hear that my cousin had a baby at 17. It is very rare to even meet unmarried parents. I don't know if the low number of teenage mothers is because they have sex later, are more responsible, or that abortion is legal and available. Probably all those factors.

Cosine

bluewolf wrote:

I wonder if that's a result of "no sex before marriage"...

I doubt that she had a problem with that. She was over here for 4 weeks on a summer camp thingy in my college and she told me she was only really over here for a bit of ha'rumpy bumpy :v:

Sam Vimes

first of all, its amazing that almost all of your year have babies at twenty. i know of two or three people from my year of 180 that have a kid.

secondly,i don't understand why 17 year old mothers keep the babies. the places where you see massive numbers of teenage mothers tends to be poorer areas so having kids so young is just stupid imo. my natural mother was in college when she had me and she gave me up for adoption. its the best thing she could have possibly done. she wanted to finish college and get set up in life and having a baby would have wrecked all that. we would have both grown up in poverty.

instead she gave me to a loving family who wanted children but couldn't have them. i've grown up with my sister who i've no blood relation with but she's my no less my sister than in any other family.

you could say that my parents are actually better than most because they had to go through extremely rigourous tests before being allowed to adopt. who else can say their parents are approved by the state? and they are my parents. the woman that gave birth to me is my "biological mother" but the woman who raised me for the past 21 years is my mother

and about abortion, it actually makes me feel sick when i think of girls having their babies vacuumed out of them when there's thousands of families out there who would love nothing more than to take it off their hands

funk-you

Commander Vimes wrote:

and about abortion, it actually makes me feel sick when i think of girls having their babies vacuumed out of them when there's thousands of families out there who would love nothing more than to take it off their hands

While i totally agree with you there, it isnt always as simple as 'just have the baby then give it up'.

I thought the same way as you until a few weeks ago when my mate had to "get the boat" and seeing what he was going through i can just imagine what it was like for the poor girl. it made me look at thigs in an ever so slightly different light.

-Funk

FranknFurter

I live in an area of Dublin where when I go to the shop every DAY (5 mins walk away!) for cigs etc, I will literally see (no joke), at LEAST 7 different kids pushing (their own babies in) prams.

Here, its almost like a fecked-up bizarre "fashion trend".
Scares me witless, specially when I overhear lines like "Nah, me ma' wasnt too bothered after me sisters!" ..........im talking about 12-16 year old here too! :eek:

TerrorFirmer

coolsmileygirl wrote:

Im now 20 nearly 21

and i can honestly say theres only a handful of girls i went to school with that now dont have children already.

Must have been a lovely area you grew up in so....:D

Pythia

HavoK wrote:

Must have been a lovely area you grew up in so....:D

Didn't see just say it was Coolock?

Kojak

One of the lads I went to National school with (he went to a different secondary than me) became a father when he was 14. He has gone on to have 2 more (now 23). I suppose it worked out for him though - the 3 children are with the same mother and they are getting married next year.

I'm not condoning it, but for him it worked out OK. The one bad thing was that he was pretty bright at school but had to drop out to go working when his girlfriend fell pregnant.

LegacyUser

Well it certainly seems to be a cultural thing, and by culture I refer to the different cultures within various areas, for example the culture (being attitudes, family make up, religion, beliefs, behaviours) of people in Coolock, would be similar to that of Finglas, Ballymun, Ballyfermot, Tallaght, Crumlin, etc. Unfortunately, the culture here seems to be that, for a lot of young people, they stand nothing to loose by having kids young.
Their friends have kids, their mothers had them young, and they wont be an outcast, it wont inflict on their social lives, or effect their careers, because its been done before and is being done all around them.

Now I know I have just cast a major generalisation here, and for that I apologise, but its important when getting across my point, which is that people from a different area, not a million miles away from coolock, finglas or ballymun, take drumcondra for example, will have grown up in a very different culture, one that emphasised future prospects, career, luxuries etc.
A young women, who from a very early age, has not only been encouraged to pursue third level education, but who views it as the norm, would stand a hell of a lot more to loose (in their own minds), should they become pregnant.

It would disrupt or put an end to their educational pursuits, and would almost certainly isolate them from their peers, who would continue with their ambitious lifestyle, and maybe not have so much time left for their teen/early 20's single mum chum.

As materialistic and shallow as some of you may deem this to be, these are serious deterrents, and certainly an incentive for safe sex

For me, an unplanned pregnancy would not be ideal, to put it mildly, and although I would just have to get on with it, I am sure to always take precaution and to do my best to ensure that an unplanned pregnancy simply doesn't happen.

Now I know accidents happen, but I am not referring to accidents in the above, I am referring to carelessness and a serious forward planning, and taking precaution.

And also, as I said, I generalised to make a point, and do not for a minute think that all women from the above areas are to be tarred with the same brush.

dar83

Pythia wrote:

Didn't see just say it was Coolock?

Whats that supposed to mean, eh?!

I live in Coolock as well but I dont have any kids....







that I know of. :v:

mayotom

I think it definitely is connected to upbringing and where you live. I have noticed certain areas will have little or no Teenage pregnancy, while other area's its rampant(these are the same area's where there are socila problems, where people unemployed. this isn't a big issue in working class areas.

Ickle Magoo

Out of our friends we were the first to get married & have kids & we were 28 & 30......but in saying that when at the ante-natal clinic, I am bowled over at the numbers of very young girls attending......maybe it is a social thing.....the majority of our friends went to uni & so weren't interested in having kids until much later in life.....

To commander vimes, et al - I am adopted & I get really p*ssed off at the number of people who think adoption is the cure-all for unwanted pregnancies......like that doesn't affect your whole life or the life of your child any more than keeping a baby would?! :rolleyes::mad:

Nightwish

Out of the 30 or so girls in my year who either had a baby in school or had a baby very shortly after, all but two were from the not-so-desirable areas of town. My snobby aunt sent her two kids to a private school to keep them away from the type of girls who get pregnant at 15, only to have her own daughter get pregnant very shortly after her LC.

Samhildanach

I think there are a number of factors involved, but perhaps the most serious issues are the problems of underage drinking and also a serious decline in moral values/guidance. When I say 'morals' I'm not talking in a religious sense but more in a sense of respect, decency, integrity, social behaviour and it's impact on other people.

A friend of mine told me she was out sunbathing in her garden last summer and she overheard the neighbour next door (who was talking to her daughter in the garden) say: 'If you want to move out so badly why don't you go get yourself pregnant like your sister and you'll get a free house!!' MY GOD!! What advice to give your daughter! Unfortunately it seems there are a lot of parents like this who don't instill any moral fiber into their children.

Of course the government does not help by making free/low rent housing available and other benefits. I'm not saying these girls shouldn't be given support by any means, but the very fact that the benefits are sooooo attractive is more an incentive for getting pregnant for girls in disadvantaged areas.

robinph

Whilst the amount of teen pregancies is probably not a very good thing for those directly involved, it does kind of start to make up for the reduction in births due to the overall population not having kids until much later in life because of work. If more people don't have kids now then there is going to be no one around to support me when I'm claiming my pension.

Hagar

The un-married mother* phenomena is one of Ireland's true growth areas. In many parts of the country and in certain suburbs it has become a cottage industry.

After all why work when all you have to do is pop out a couple of wee bastards** and the state will house and feed you better than a punter earning the minimum wage?

* Not applicable to all un-married mothers
** The correct term. Don't be offended.

Chris P Duck

A good few of the lads that I use to go to school with now have kids. Many of them have 2 or 3. But whats the problem ??? They are all really good parents to their kids.

If you look at your parents, I bet alot of them were pregnant in there teens aswell. I bet alot of them were married at 18. They done as much drinking if not more than we do. I have often heard older people say that "if we done what they done when they were young we'd be arrested". I think society has gone way too self consious and politcally correct

Samhildanach

I think there are a number of factors involved, but perhaps the most serious issues are the problems of underage drinking and also a serious decline in moral values/guidance. When I say 'morals' I'm not talking in a religious sense but more in a sense of respect, decency, integrity, social behaviour and it's impact on other people.

A friend of mine told me she was out sunbathing in her garden last summer and she overheard the neighbour next door (who was talking to her daughter in the garden) say: 'If you want to move out so badly why don't you go get yourself pregnant like your sister and you'll get a free house!!' MY GOD!! What advice to give your daughter! Unfortunately it seems there are a lot of parents like this who don't instill any moral fiber into their children.

Of course the government does not help by making free/low rent housing available and other benefits. I'm not saying these girls shouldn't be given support by any means, but the very fact that the benefits are sooooo attractive is more an incentive for getting pregnant for girls in disadvantaged areas.

connundrum

IMO its the fact that young people (he says at the age of 22 :rolleyes: ) are totally free from fear or responsibility. If you get pregnant its not the end of the world.. far from it actually. Sure the state will look after you, nice house, set you up with a nice 2 hour a day FAS course.. you can go over to your other single mother friends and have a chat about what bastards men are, and you can still go out 2 nights a week with the girls knowing that your ma will babysit.

Excuse the synicism, but in my head that's the way these young ones operate, or that's the way they perceive this whole situation. Its nuts. Drink has about 5% to do with all of it, no one can say that they weren't educated enough at this stage, so the only thing left is the fact that they just aren't afraid of the consequences. Take the benefits off them I reckon, or at least start vetting everyone more closely so that its only the people who deserve it who get the benefit of state assistance.

If you make it known that its gonna be 20 times harder to get a house now if you become preggers for 'a man you can't remember cos you were too drunk'.. and you can be sure that pregnancy rates will fall dramatically.

/rant over.

Ickle Magoo

Nightwish wrote:

Out of the 30 or so girls in my year who either had a baby in school or had a baby very shortly after, all but two were from the not-so-desirable areas of town. My snobby aunt sent her two kids to a private school to keep them away from the type of girls who get pregnant at 15, only to have her own daughter get pregnant very shortly after her LC.

My MIL's friend is a VERY religious woman - and wasn't her daughter the only one to get pregnant at 15......ironic, I thought....:D

Robinph, unfortunately folks on benefit do very little to add coffers to the pension funds.....a graduate on high income will more than make up for longer education & waiting to have kids when it comes to taxation & not being on any benefits.....:)

brown*eyed*girl

Well things have changed dramatically since I became a teenage Mother back in 1993. I was 17 when I had my daughter who is nearly 13 years old now and changed my life for the better and wouldn’t swap the past for the euromillions! I was 16 and her Dad was 19 when we had a “summer romance”. The romance was my view of the relationship and the Dad was basically only using me for sex and told me he loved me and I believed him. We only had sex a couple of times it was like a whirlwind of hormones and infatuation for me. I had had a crush on him since I was 12 so I was almost honoured that he chose me. I also did think it wouldn’t happen to me. I got very little sex education in school and things weren’t really discussed openly as they are now. My Mam was shocked I was having sex. She had no idea I was having sex AT ALL. The reason I didn’t ask to go on the pill was because then I’d have to admit to my Mother that I was having sex which would have been too embarrassing. Now I know it would have been less embarrassing to ask to go on the pill than telling her I was nearly 7 months pregnant (yes she didn’t find out until then). For me it wasn’t planned and the whole town were talking about me back then. It was rare enough but the scary thing now is teens WANT to get pregnant. Also that its not really shocking anymore. That is the scary issue. The ones who are planning to get pregnant are the ones who really need to be educated.

Just want to add one thing and that for every single Mothers there is a single Father out there and we (single Mothers) do get the bad name which is unfair at times.

Well you can imagine how hard it is for me to try and explain to my daughter not to get pregnant like I did whilst she is the result of what I’m telling her what not to do. I tell her exactly how it was and that whilst she wasn’t planned she is not a mistake but a very big surprise whom I would never change BUT I want her to not have to miss out on everything that I did and it was very hard rearing her. I could’ve taken advantage of my Mam and let her rear my daughter but I didn’t and we worked out a very successful family. I have my own house and worked and worked for what I have. My daughter is very proud of me and understands where I’m coming from. I talk very openly about sex, hormones, drink, drugs, etc. with her. Some people find it a bit too much BUT the way I see it is she is going to hear it in the playground or from somewhere else and I’d prefer her to hear it from me. She totally trusts me and will tell me most things. I’m trying to make the subject of sex not taboo like it is between a lot of teens and their parents.

Back to today and I think we first of all need to have the MAP (morning after pill) available over the counter. If teens are using condoms and it splits then the girl will have to admit to her parents or go to the GP (€50) and then go to the chemist to get the MAP. Most teens are probably too scared and pray they get away with it. The other big issue is alcohol. It’s getting worse and worse. Last Halloween there were young teens from about 14 upwards falling around the place at bonfires. Mix alcohol, horny teenage boys, emotional hormonal girls and you have a deadly concoction. Just to add I’m not saying it’s the boys fault and in fairness their teens must be very hard (pun intended) on them with all the hot teenage girls. I mean I can understand how some of them would say they love a girl to get into her knickers and probably do “love” the girl at the time but a different sort of love. I think the boys are neglected a lot with sex education and on how to react with such raging hormones. So basically A LOT more education in school and at home needs to be done. And I don’t mean the penis and vagina education but straight talking “street” education where they understand what you are saying. Sex is everywhere and its not going anywhere soon and nowadays its on TV, radio, magazines yet some teens can’t discuss it with their parents. Its swept under the carpet or sniggered at still. Also we need easy access to condoms and MAP and contraception. Now contraception is a tricky subject for us parents because if you allow them to go on the pill are you allowing them to have sex? Is it like saying its ok to have sex now or do you wait until you get them crying because their period is late. My view is to give them all the information with no frilly frolly words. I will tell my daughter that I hope she waits until she’s at least 18 and in a loving relationship before she has sex. But if she feels she’s ready before then we will talk about it and see if she wants to go on the pill. This makes me feel bad I admit because then I’m saying go ahead and have sex if she’s 17 but on the other hand it’s the best option or is it?

Samhildanach

On the whole drinking issue ... I used to live near a nite club and almost every night (that the club was open) I'd be woken up at 3/4am by noise on the street outside. I can honestly say I've seen all kinds of people hammering away at it outside my door. On one occasion I looked outside and find a teenage girl (she couldn't have been more than 15) lying on top of the wall with an older guy humping away but if that wasn't bad enough the guy's friend was standing beside them waiting his turn.

Another time I coming out of a shopping centre and putting stuff into the car boot, it was about 2.30pm, when I closed the boot I saw a couple of teenagers going at it doggie style against the car park wall ... the lads a** was stuck up in the air, other people getting out of their cars started shouting at them. The guy just turned the girl around and kept at it - they were completely oblivious/ignored everyone coming and going in the carpark. It was totally surreal and in your face - absolutely no shame or sense of decency.