Sex

Jahula

I want to hear some sex stories. Past experiences, favourite position, best way to go about it etc

Jahula

Dude don't ruin the fun

LadyJ

Sex board.

Pighead

PM coolsmileygirl Le Rack or Buffy Bot. You'll not get your kicks here madame. I've set a timer which will ensure this thread shall be locked and destroyed within the hour
Pigheads really disappointed in you Jahula.

Endurance Man

Haha, the intraweb is full of the sort of thing you are after .

Jahula

Dude, don't ruin the fun

Endurance Man

Pighead wrote:

PM coolsmileygirl Le Rack or Buffy Bot. You'll not get your kicks here madame. I've set a timer which will ensure this thread shall be locked and destroyed within the hour
Pigheads really disappointed in you Jahula.

haha, took the words right outta my mouth, didnt really wanna go there though :v: .

Endurance Man

Jahula wrote:

Dude, don't ruin the fun

Dude, dont be stupid...

LadyJ

Jahula,you have to pay for that sort of entertainment even on boards.

I suggest you subscribe to the sex board or go get laid(failing that,I suggest you have a fiddle)

caff

*nods

there are many sites dealing with erotic literature out there, many free ones where you can read stuff that people might not post here

wonderful smut

Pighead

LadyJ wrote:

Jahula,you have to pay for that sort of entertainment even on boards.

I suggest you subscribe to the sex boards or go get laid(failing that,I suggest you have a fiddle)

Or have a Danger **** whilst thinking of Beruthial!
(Danger **** is a TM of Lady J promotions)

Jahula

I'm just wondering how to go about it? I started a new thread in personal issues if anyone wants to head there?

Endurance Man

Jahula wrote:

I'm just wondering how to go about it? I started a new thread in personal issues if anyone wants to head there?

Haha, you're going places mate.

Karoma

Jahula wrote:

I'm just wondering how to go about it? I started a new thread in personal issues if anyone wants to head there?

Dude, don't ruin the mystery.
Get a copy of Sex For Dummies.

Endurance Man

You're 18 , i think you need to go have a chat with your mom and dad.

Jahula

Sorry I must be misunderstood..........What's the BEST way to go about it?

ARGINITE

Gordon wrote:

From Afterhours to PI eh?

My advice is "stick in until you stick out".

Now don't post this again please.

lol

Wertz

Jahula wrote:

Sorry I must be misunderstood..........What's the BEST way to go about it?

I'd definitely recommend removing your clothes to start with...
Post back when you've doen that.

Jahula

Please........some serious answers!!!!!!!!!

Endurance Man

http://www.uta.fi/laitokset/tiedotus/ekj/superbaby/kata.jpg

Sorted...

Pighead

Jahula wrote:

Please........some serious answers!!!!!!!!!

Serious answers aye. Alright then buddy, its time to bring out the New Kids On The Block. There is absolutely nothing that those five dreamboats can't teach us.Read the 5 easy steps carefully Jahula and let the stickiness begin.

Step one
We can have lots of fun
Step two
There’s so much we can do
Step three
It’s just you and me
Step four
I can give you more
Step five
Don’t you know the time has arrived

Jahula

Serious!!!!!!!!

ST*

Endurance Man wrote:

http://www.uta.fi/laitokset/tiedotus/ekj/superbaby/kata.jpg
Sorted...

That thing is fcukin vile..

Karoma

Jahula wrote:

Serious!!!!!!!!

Step 1. Be the Fonz.

Jahula

IT'S SO VILE!!!!!!!! I'm just looking for tips on how to go about it at first?

Crucifix

Wikipedia: Is there anything it can't do*

*there are in fact several things it can't do

Hagar

It's a bit like the Hokey Kokey except you don't put you left leg in...:D

Hurry this thread will be closing soon...

Endurance Man

Jahula wrote:

IT'S SO VILE!!!!!!!! I'm just looking for tips on how to go about it at first?

Its REALLY not something you can learn dude, you start with the basics and *discover* - and if you dont no the basics go talk to mommy and daddy.

Rabies

Good old Amazon

Jahula

Hagar wrote:

It's a bit like the Hokey Kokey except you don't put you left leg in...:D

Hurry this thread will be closing soon...

It's hokey pokey dumbass

Karoma

Jahula wrote:

IT'S SO VILE!!!!!!!! I'm just looking for tips on how to go about it at first?

oooh... you want the gay sex advice...?

Endurance Man

Karoma wrote:

oooh... you want the gay sex advice...?

Hahaha

Brother To God

lure the person to your room with lies ie " want to see mt record collection?" and then chat for awhile,offer her a seat on your bed and tell her lie back and get comfortable ,DO NOT offer her a pillow for her back and make sure her back is leaned against something uncomfortable and chat away ,wait till her back hurts from the window ledge and then offer a back massage,do the massage poorly and suggest she takes her top off so you can get to the problem,time to also pull out a nice massage oil,have her lie down and you jump on top and massage back,do an greta job of this and offer a leg massage and then Jones your arc and set her alight!

Hagar

Jahula wrote:

It's hokey pokey dumbass

Don't be abusive. :mad:
Someone who can't carry out the most basic of animal functions hasn't earned the right to correct anyone.

It is the Hokey Kokey or Hokey Cokey whichever spelling you prefer,

Rabies

Karoma wrote:

oooh... you want the gay sex advice...?

K, that is taking things too far for someone with no sexual experience.

OP, have you considered introducing animals in to your love life?

Endurance Man

Rabies wrote:

K, that is taking things too far for someone with no sexual experience.

OP, have you considered introducing animals in to your love life?

Hahaha, i wasn't in a great mood 10mins ago, now im smiling , thanks OP.

jimbono1

Everyone has the right to try and go bigger. Not fair to expect them to stay on the Den forever.

Zeppie

Jahula wrote:

It's hokey pokey dumbass

The songs Hokey Cokey ...always has, always will be! ....

You put your left arm in, your left arm out
In out, in out, you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around
That's what it's all about
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Knees bent, arms stretched
Raa raa raa
You put your right arm in, your right arm out
In out, in out, you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around
That's what it's all about
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Knees bent, arms stretched
Raa raa raa
You put your left leg in, your left leg out
In out, in out, you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around
That's what it's all about
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Knees bent, arms stretched
Raa raa raa
You put your right leg in, your right leg out
In out, in out, you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around
That's what it's all about
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Knees bent, arms stretched
Raa raa raa
You put your whole self in, your whole self out
In out, in out, you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Cokey and you turn around
That's what it's all about
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Knees bent, arms stretched
Raa raa raa
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Whoa-o the Hokey Cokey
Knees bent, arms stretched
Raa raa raa

Jahula

I'm just looking for advice. It's a simple question. What's the best way to go about it? Where are all the nice guys gone? Thanks alot

Endurance Man

Jahula wrote:

Where are all the nice guys gone? (

ST*

Karoma wrote:

oooh... you want the gay sex advice...?

Jahula wrote:

It's hokey pokey dumbass

lol x2

RoundyMooney

How long will this n00b last? He's already pissed off the PI mods.

go for it
and use protection:D

SpAcEd OuT

Hagar wrote:

Don't be abusive. :mad:
Someone who can't carry out the most basic of animal functions hasn't earned the right to correct anyone.

zing!

Hagar

I would edit that fairly sharpish Ms Coolsmileygirl

Wertz

Jahula wrote:

Where are all the nice guys gone?

I'm burning their corpses as I type...

ARGINITE

This is still open

Don't stick it in the belly button, its the other hole:)

Rabies

Wertz wrote:

I'm burning their corpses as I type...

Save a corpse or two for the OP to practice on.

IvaBigWun

Pighead wrote:

Step one
We can have lots of fun
Step two
There’s so much we can do
Step three
It’s just you and me
Step four
I can give you more
Step five
Don’t you know the time has arrived

Fuucking genius.

What was that song again?!

Endurance Man

coolsmileygirl wrote:

go for it
and use protection:D

Not clever...

Sorry hagar

Cen fath?