Bad Humour?

Binomate

In light of who ever it was joking about an having an abortion in that other thread, what do you consider bad humour and why? Do you find it bad taste to joke about things like death and misfortune that happens in real life or do you try to see the humourous side of everything?

tintinr35

i generally would take the piss out of anything and have a laugh at most things im not a fan of people who think one should tip toe around certain topics bad things happen to everyone its always good to try and see a funny side to everything

toffeapple

I think anything is fair game as long as its funny...that wasn't funny..its like saying to someone what will i get my ma who has cancer....a coffin! not funny either....good punch line and a good laugh its acceptable.....people who are the brunt of jokes will tell you this

Binomate

I would have said a shovel instead of a coffin but, meh.

It's suggesting something outrageous. There is no difference between saying that and saying "a slave" to someone who is asking what they should get their fair trade enthusiast buddy for xmas.

Giblet

Why would you upset someone on purpose even if it was a joke. Fine if you can laugh about it but there's no point in expecting everyone to have the same view as yourself.
A joke like that in isolation is fair game, but to joke about something to someone who is affected by it, that's just bad taste.

simu

It's all about context. Use your common sense.

Ickle Magoo

Binomate wrote:

It's suggesting something outrageous. There is no difference between saying that and saying "a slave" to someone who is asking what they should get their fair trade enthusiast buddy for xmas.

To me there is a huge difference between those two examples....you don't honestly think someone asking what they could get their dying mother is on the same tack as someone asking for X-mas prezzie ideas for a fair-trade enthusiast? Do you?!! :eek: Surely not.....

I don't think sensitive subjects should be tip-toed around and I like some supposedly sick jokes - but like most good comedy, it's all in the timing.....if someone is excitedly asking what to get their newly pregnant wife for Valentine's Day, common sense would tell me this is not the time to get the jokes re dead babies or abortion out - likewise if someone asked me for advice as a close relative was dying from cancer.....if you make these kinds of jokes at an innappropriate time, you risk coming across as immature and insensitive, rather than funny or clever.....

Binomate

Giblet wrote:

Why would you upset someone on purpose even if it was a joke. Fine if you can laugh about it but there's no point in expecting everyone to have the same view as yourself.

Well you don't exactly know if you're going to upset someone or not. Just say it and hope for the best. If it's not exactly serrious, why should they be offended? Then it becomes their proble not yours.

Giblet

That's a very selfish stance to take. Surely you can use common sense. For example making an abortion joke to someone who's had an abortion isn't going to provoke a positive reaction. More likely it's going to upset them and bring back memories. It's true you don't have the right to "not be offended" but out of consideration for others, surely you can restrain yourself.

Binomate

Ickle Magoo wrote:

To me there is a huge difference between those two examples....you don't honestly think someone asking what they could get their dying mother is on the same tack as someone asking for X-mas prezzie ideas for a fair-trade enthusiast? Do you?!! :eek: Surely not.....

I don't think sensitive subjects should be tip-toed around and I like some supposedly sick jokes - but like most good comedy, it's all in the timing.....if someone is excitedly asking what to get their newly pregnant wife for Valentine's Day, common sense would tell me this is not the time to get the jokes re dead babies or abortion out - likewise if someone asked me for advice as a close relative was dying from cancer.....if you make these kinds of jokes at an innappropriate time, you risk coming across as immature and insensitive, rather than funny or clever.....

I supose you're right, but it would depend on how good the joke is as well. Someone can say something absolutly hillarious and everyone can find it funny and not be offended by it but it could have the same principals behind it as a crap joke that nobody laughs at and everyone doesn't laugh at it.

Binomate

Giblet wrote:

That's a very selfish stance to take. Surely you can use common sense. For example making an abortion joke to someone who's had an abortion isn't going to provoke a positive reaction. More likely it's going to upset them and bring back memories. It's true you don't have the right to "not be offended" but out of consideration for others, surely you can restrain yourself.

I wouldn't say selfish. You'd obviously use your logic and ask yourself is it funny or not before hand. But in cases where something is taken the wrong way I wouldn't feel guilty about someone being offended.

Goodshape

toffeapple wrote:

its like saying to someone what will i get my ma who has cancer....a coffin!

I lol'd. Sorry.

It usually depends on the person whos hearing the joke, and their relationship with the person telling it. I wouldn't call out the above joke to a group of strangers at the bar, but between close friends we could all share a sneaky laugh at it.

Personally, I think I've got a pretty good ability to laugh at myself, and I don't really mind laughing at others either.

Giblet

I've had a pretty bad reaction to a cancer joke myself about 8 years ago. Everyone went silent. It was horrible. It was someones Dad, who I met later. Man that was bad.

Funny story now though :v:

nesf

A little common sense is all you need. You don't make dead baby jokes to someone who has just suffered a miscarriage. Well, not to the vast vast majority of them anyways.


However, this bull**** idea of "It was a joke" making it ok does not wash with me. It being meant as a joke does not make it ok all the time imho.

Oriel

Dead baby jokes are funny as long as there is no dead baby.

Ickle Magoo

Binomate wrote:

I supose you're right, but it would depend on how good the joke is as well. Someone can say something absolutly hillarious and everyone can find it funny and not be offended by it but it could have the same principals behind it as a crap joke that nobody laughs at and everyone doesn't laugh at it.

I think that's where the all important comedy timing comes in......sometimes it is just not appropriate to say anything humerous - if a situation does not lend itself to a natural comedy moment and you force the issue anyway, then the joke will be a complete flop and you will probably offend people into the bargain....other situations may lend themselves to comedy even if they are really serious, such as a joke breaking the tension at a funeral or suchlike.....I think good comedians know or learn which of those situations they are in....

hepcat

Binomate wrote:

I wouldn't say selfish. You'd obviously use your logic and ask yourself is it funny or not before hand. But in cases where something is taken the wrong way I wouldn't feel guilty about someone being offended.

Ok so enlighten us - in what way would you consider someone being deeply offended by being told to get their newly pregnant partner an abortion as a valentines day present "taking it the wrong way"? Why would you consider that a funny joke?

Like it or not, we cannot go around offending and hurting all and sundry because we think it might be clever or funny. This why there are acceptable limits in society as to what is and is not funny. Granted these are changing all the time, but it has not yet reached the stage where it is considered funny to tell and excited father-to-be to get his partner an abortion as a present.

toffeapple

Certain things can be funny but as a rule there are certain subjects that can be tricky..cancer for example and deffo abortion..i never even heard an abortion joke...
Rape is not funny either........unless your being raped by a clown!

Binomate

hepcat wrote:

Ok so enlighten us - in what way would you consider someone being deeply offended by being told to get their newly pregnant partner an abortion as a valentines day present "taking it the wrong way"? Why would you consider that a funny joke?

Like it or not, we cannot go around offending and hurting all and sundry because we think it might be clever or funny. This why there are acceptable limits in society as to what is and is not funny. Granted these are changing all the time, but it has not yet reached the stage where it is considered funny to tell and excited father-to-be to get his partner an abortion as a present.

It wasn't ecactly a great joke but I saw the humour in offering rediculous advice to someone.

Q- "I'm having a baby, what do I do?"
A "Have an abortion. Quick before it's too late, children are money and life sucking little bastards!". That type of thing.

toffeapple wrote:

Certain things can be funny but as a rule there are certain subjects that can be tricky..cancer for example and deffo abortion..i never even heard an abortion joke...
Rape is not funny either........unless your being raped by a clown!

I've got one, that some might find offensive so if you're not into abortion jokes don't look.

Q-"What's red and crawls up womens' legs?"

A-"A home sick abortion."

Mr Magnolia

It's all relative. Why joke about subjects that may cause great offence/hurt to a possible audience. "It was only a joke" is no good (shutting the stable door when the horse has bolted)

Joke: Something said or done to evoke laughter or amusement, especially an amusing story with a punch line.

I may tell a sensitive joke, but only to someone whom I know the subject matter will not cause hurt or offence. Why take the risk, these things cut to the bone.

Put yourself in the position of the person you may offend, and think about what they've possibly endured. I read the statement (not calling it a joke or even humor) your talking about and thought it was in incredibly bad taste, I also chose not to even comment on it.

If there's even the smallest doubt in the back of your mind, keep the gob shut.

tails2

jesus relax the cax

when i said it i was in bits laughing. i thought it was hilarious... i still do but i know see why people think it was in bad taste.....

if his wife had not have had the very misfortune to have endured a miscarraige i wouldnt have retracted it. but i did because of what happened. i am sure he felt sick when he read it but to everyone else... stop jumping on the frickin pc brigade band wagon...

it doesnt matter how sick a joke is... at the end of the day its a joke... i just know now when not to use it to certain people on boards any more...

pig head for president !!!!!!:D

and binomine has a good sense of humour. the joke you just posted had me and my college mates in bits ha ha ha

Mr Magnolia

tails2 wrote:

if his wife had not have had the very misfortune to have endured a miscarraige i wouldnt have retracted it.it doesnt matter how sick a joke is... at the end of the day its a joke.....

So you learned nothing, disappointing really, there's no point in debating with you.

stevenmu

I'm all for tasteless jokes, a few years ago a close friend of mine died after being hit by a car and I joked with his parents about how I always knew he'd die in a car crash, I just thought he'd be the one driving. I do agree though that some thought has to go into them, in that case I knew well that his parents would see the funny side of it, and with dead baby/abortion type jokes you have to be pretty carefull who you say them to.

That said, while I can see how Hopefull Dad got a bit bothered by it, I don't see what the rest of the people were complaining about.

toffeapple

A fetus wakes up one morning only to realize he's in the process of being aborted.
The fetus looks at the doctor and asks, "What the hell are you doing?"
The doctor turns to the patient and says, "Don't worry, not all of them are this stupid."

hepcat

Sparks400 wrote:

So you learned nothing, disappointing really, there's no point in debating with you.

Agree with you Sparks400.

As for the idiotic "stop jumpin on the PC bandwagon" - try taking this in tails2: Just because the mot-du-jour to ridicule or make light of overly conservative and uptight opinions is "PC" (said in a disparaging way of course) THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT OBJECTIONS TO YOUR JOKE WERE BECAUSE IT WAS NOT POLITICALLY CORRECT. SO just grow up and stop with the juvenile crap - just because it provokes a reaction DOES NOT mean it is automatically funny/good/original.

Ickle Magoo

stevenmu wrote:

That said, while I can see how Hopefull Dad got a bit bothered by it, I don't see what the rest of the people were complaining about.

Well, I'm pretty much brand new to this board and I'm surprised a Mod would have to ask that.......I actually get a tad embarrassed when unregged posters come on asking for ideas or advice and they have to put up with some of the immature, inane drivel that some of the posters seem to think it is smart & funny to post.....there are some genuinely very intelligent, funny, cheeky posters who make me laugh out loud, then there are the other posts that make me think an 11yr old school boy, who desperately wants to be considered the above, typed them....

stevenmu

Ickle Magoo wrote:

Well, I'm pretty much brand new to this board and I'm surprised a Mod would have to ask that.......

Seeing as you're knew somebody should probably explain that mods are nothing special, we can be just as idiotic as anyone else.

Ickle Magoo wrote:

I actually get a tad embarrassed when unregged posters come on asking for ideas or advice and they have to put up with some of the immature, inane drivel that some of the posters seem to think it is smart & funny to post.....there are some genuinely very intelligent, funny, cheeky posters who make me laugh out loud, there are other posts that make me think an 11yr old school boy, who desperately wants to be considered the above, typed them....

I agree, there is a lot of inane immature drivel posted, but I don't see what justified the kind of comments which were levelled at Tails2 and why those people took it on themselves to make them. I don't see any reason for them to have taken it so strongly to heart and to get emotionally involved in what was clearly a joke, albeit a crap tasteless one. It's kind of like a mini-version of the Danish cartoon that's so offensive to (some) Muslims. At the end of the day, it's just a cartoon in a newspaper, sure it's tasteless but it didn't actually hurt or damage anyone.

toffeapple

stevenmu wrote:

Ickle Magoo wrote:

Well, I'm pretty much brand new to this board and I'm surprised a Mod would have to ask that.......

Seeing as you're knew somebody should probably explain that mods are nothing special, we can be just as idiotic as anyone else.

I agree, there is a lot of inane immature drivel posted, but I don't see what justified the kind of comments which were levelled at Tails2 and why those people took it on themselves to make them. I don't see any reason for them to have taken it so strongly to heart and to get emotionally involved in what was clearly a joke, albeit a crap tasteless one. It's kind of like a mini-version of the Danish cartoon that's so offensive to (some) Muslims. At the end of the day, it's just a cartoon in a newspaper, sure it's tasteless but it didn't actually hurt or damage anyone.

i agree, although i am responsible for a lot of the stupid posts, what ya find is people bandwagon jumping...as soon someone attacked Tails it was open season on him and everyone just bailed in with the same comments..if its nothing new why bother to post it... he even PM'd one of the guys who then misquoted the PM in the thread..this really annoyed me.

hepcat

Yeah, I find the "joke" in question to be more than just tasteless, but did not jump on any bandwagon or make any comment to tails2 on the thread in question. However Binomate posted a new thread about the whole issue of "tasteless jokes" - hence you have people voicing their opinion on this topic and replying to tails2 defence of his "joke".

Ickle Magoo

stevenmu wrote:

Ickle Magoo wrote:

Well, I'm pretty much brand new to this board and I'm surprised a Mod would have to ask that.......

Seeing as you're knew somebody should probably explain that mods are nothing special, we can be just as idiotic as anyone else.

I agree, there is a lot of inane immature drivel posted, but I don't see what justified the kind of comments which were levelled at Tails2 and why those people took it on themselves to make them. I don't see any reason for them to have taken it so strongly to heart and to get emotionally involved in what was clearly a joke, albeit a crap tasteless one. It's kind of like a mini-version of the Danish cartoon that's so offensive to (some) Muslims. At the end of the day, it's just a cartoon in a newspaper, sure it's tasteless but it didn't actually hurt or damage anyone.

I do know what you mean but at the same time...I spent some time thinking up a kind and helpful reply to said poster on the other thread & I was smiling as I thought about what my husband will be getting me for Velentine's Day as I am 30wks pregnant and while I'm typing I'm thinking "What a lovely thread, this guy sounds so excited and his wife deserves a real treat" and then I have to read something about abortion - it just took all the joy and niceness out of the thread and I think that is why people commented - that and the completely unappologetic "geez, get over it, it was a JOKE" posts that followed......

I think once you consider that the very nature of the original question would have drawn many posters who were parents or expectant parents, I don't think it should have been too much of a jump in thought to realise that such comments would be hurtful or offensive.....the cartoon in the paper was a joke aimed at a large number of people and so I think that is completely different to the personal nature of telling one poster to their [cyber] face to buy their newly pregnant wife an abortion for Valentine's Day.....that said, pm's are pm's and all that.....:)

nutgroist

I have some experience of this since I'm a standup comedian and most of my material is what you might call 'edgy'. Someone previously said 'dead baby jokes are only funny when there is no dead baby'. I think that's spot on. I have a miscarriage joke which I will use on any audience where I dont know the people personally. Statistically, im sure there are some people who have seen me perform and it will have some special resonance (or just really upset and offend them) for them. However, there's a way to present any joke, I believe no matter how offensive it is, in which the audience know 'there is no dead baby' - whatever the subject, so to speak. I have some good friends who went thru the pain of a miscarriage just a few weeks after I wrote the joke and I will never perform it in front of them. maybe that makes me a hypocrite but it's obvious that i know and they know I know. with an audience of strangers, i take my chances because we only know eachother for the brief time im up on stage. i establish the type of person i am, hope they get it (ie. im joking) and we all enjoy the experience together (or not). I touch on racism, anti-semitism, child abuse, disabilities, sectarianism, blasphemy and of course bestiality. I dont look out in the audience to check there are no ethnic minorities, rabbis, nuns or piglets. Everything's fair game in theory. But in practice you have to all agree that you don't mean it (there are many shared agreements between a performer and an audience and this is a big one) and it has to be sufficiently funny.

let me repeat...

HAS. TO. BE. FUNNY.

nesf

tails2 wrote:

if his wife had not have had the very misfortune to have endured a miscarraige i wouldnt have retracted it. but i did because of what happened. i am sure he felt sick when he read it but to everyone else... stop jumping on the frickin pc brigade band wagon...

**** the PC bandwagon, what you said was neither funny nor acceptable. Try and learn from what happened, or else you can have a nice long vacation from this forum.

Cheers.

faceman

i guess its all open to interpretation. i remember years n years ago in a previous job, a group of us (male n female) sat around the a table in the canteen telling all the derogatory jokes against opposite sex, other nationalities, ppl with disabilities. sure it was great gas. then i told a joke about epilepsy. one of the blokes there (who was telling lots of the jokes) got up slammed his sandwich down n hurled abuse at me before storming out. he had epilepsy n i didnt know. he went flipper which at the time i thought was a bit rich given he dissed practically everyone else in the world at that stage. none the less lesson learned - i dont get involved in that shoite anymore!!

Binomate

faceman wrote:

i guess its all open to interpretation. i remember years n years ago in a previous job, a group of us (male n female) sat around the a table in the canteen telling all the derogatory jokes against opposite sex, other nationalities, ppl with disabilities. sure it was great gas. then i told a joke about epilepsy. one of the blokes there (who was telling lots of the jokes) got up slammed his sandwich down n hurled abuse at me before storming out. he had epilepsy n i didnt know. he went flipper which at the time i thought was a bit rich given he dissed practically everyone else in the world at that stage. none the less lesson learned - i dont get involved in that shoite anymore!!

Ah stop being a tease! Tell us the joke!:v:

faceman

Binomate wrote:

Ah stop beaing a tease! Tell us the joke!:v:

LOL!

andrew163

I KNEW this entire abortion joke thing reminded me of something.... nutgroist's post reminded me what it was...




http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4673908.stm

faceman

andrew163 wrote:

I KNEW this entire abortion joke thing reminded me of something.... nutgroist's post reminded me what it was...


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/4673908.stm

FRUITERS!

Tar.Aldarion

I don't pull the punches with what I say, carpe jugulem.
People are too sensitive with what other people say, the incident that happened should be the only thing that pisses you off. I'm not going to curb what I say because of peoples feelings, there will always be somebody that is offended by practically every joke there is.
Miscarraige, suicide, holocaust, cancer, whatever. i've been affected, due to friends or relations, to some extent by them all, how can a joke make it worse. People are just looking for an outlet to get angry at because people are weak and need one.
Is a joke about the holocaust worse that this joke about abortion?
There are jokes made by comedians about both, why not here? So what if you don't find it funny, dismiss it.
tails2 had no idea about the miscarraige, he shouldn't have been banned for that joke about abortion. It doesn't matter that he would have said it anyway, that is a hypothetical situation. In fact, people are quite accepting of abortions, that is what sickens me.
If abotions are not wrong, where is the problem? If they are, where is the problem. Words are just words, if something isn't PC, so what? do you get outraged at comedians saying the same joke, most likely you would be there laughing your ass off with everybody else, if you had not been affected by the topic at hand, I am just somebody who would be laughing anyway, affected or no. The only thing that upsets me is the actual death of the person I love, that's how it should be.

Pigman II

Binomate wrote:

In light of who ever it was joking about an having an abortion in that other thread, what do you consider bad humour and why? Do you find it bad taste to joke about things like death and misfortune that happens in real life or do you try to see the humourous side of everything?

Nothings off limits imho. Fair play to the guy with the abortion joke. Made me laugh.

stevenmu

Ickle Magoo wrote:

I do know what you mean but at the same time...I spent some time thinking up a kind and helpful reply to said poster on the other thread & I was smiling as I thought about what my husband will be getting me for Velentine's Day as I am 30wks pregnant and while I'm typing I'm thinking "What a lovely thread, this guy sounds so excited and his wife deserves a real treat" and then I have to read something about abortion - it just took all the joy and niceness out of the thread and I think that is why people commented - that and the completely unappologetic "geez, get over it, it was a JOKE" posts that followed......

I think once you consider that the very nature of the original question would have drawn many posters who were parents or expectant parents, I don't think it should have been too much of a jump in thought to realise that such comments would be hurtful or offensive.....the cartoon in the paper was a joke aimed at a large number of people and so I think that is completely different to the personal nature of telling one poster to their [cyber] face to buy their newly pregnant wife an abortion for Valentine's Day.....that said, pm's are pm's and all that.....:)

It may have changed what you (and admittedly most others) thought the tone of the thread should be, but this is a public forum, and everyone posting on it will have their own idea of what is and what isn't acceptable. There's a wide range of views and opinions out there, many of which will be distastefull or offensive to some people. If people are going to willingly subject themselves to these views and opinions, then I think they need to learn to tolerate them a little better and maybe thicken their own skin a little.

Not to mention that this is AH and smartarse replies are inevitable.

Wertz

Binomate wrote:

I would have said a shovel instead of a coffin but, meh.

I laughed at that, so I probably don't need to say anything else on the subject.

Anything goes as far as I'm concerned, within the rules of the forum. If you're going to get butthurt by what some random idiot on the intarweb taps out on their keyboard then you have some growing up to do IMO...

sturgo

The bloke who submitted the post in question, needs to understand that he left himself wide open for a slagging. I have no sympathy for him. This in the INTERNET and anything goes.

With respect mister, you need to ask yourself why you're taking offence over something which you have no control over. Let it go and get on with your day. I'm sure you have more important issues to address.

the_syco

Its the internet. There'll be at least one person who won't find the joke funny, or who'll find the joke offensive.

sturgo

the_syco wrote:

Its the internet. There'll be at least one person who won't find the joke funny, or who'll find the joke offensive.

...and god help them.

hepcat

SO the upshot is - all "jokes" allowed on AH cos this in the internet etc, you can say anything you want and if anyone takes offence tough. BUT if you criticise someones "joke" - then you're just an uptight easily offended PC twit. Right.

Binomate

hepcat wrote:

SO the upshot is - all "jokes" allowed on AH cos this in the internet etc, you can say anything you want and if anyone takes offence tough. BUT if you criticise someones "joke" - then you're just an uptight easily offended PC twit. Right.

Absolutly. :v:

sturgo

hepcat wrote:

SO the upshot is - all "jokes" allowed on AH cos this in the internet etc, you can say anything you want and if anyone takes offence tough. BUT if you criticise someones "joke" - then you're just an uptight easily offended PC twit. Right.

Thats it!

ionapaul

the_syco wrote:

Its the internet. There'll be at least one person who won't find the joke funny, or who'll find the joke offensive.

True, but there were a lot more than just one person put out by the joke in question - I would feel confident in saying the vast majority of readers of that thread, particularly those intending to contribute positively to the thread, were offended. It is obvious from a cursory glance at the joker's posts and attitudes that he / she is probably a secondary school or undergraduate student with limited knowledge of what is appropriate in public - after all, for all the talk about this being the interweb, this is a public forum and there are measures in place to prohibit personal insults, right? If I were the OP of that thread I would find the 'joke' a lot more unsettling than being called names or other insults that would result in bannings.

toffeapple

ionapaul wrote:

True, but there were a lot more than just one person put out by the joke in question - I would feel confident in saying the vast majority of readers of that thread, particularly those intending to contribute positively to the thread, were offended. It is obvious from a cursory glance at the joker's posts and attitudes that he / she is probably a secondary school or undergraduate student with limited knowledge of what is appropriate in public - after all, for all the talk about this being the interweb, this is a public forum and there are measures in place to prohibit personal insults, right? If I were the OP of that thread I would find the 'joke' a lot more unsettling than being called names or other insults that would result in bannings.

who defines whats "appropriate" you? it wasnt exactly a personal insult..i didnt find the joke amussing but i didnt get on my high horse with all the other old ladies from the knitting circle and condemn him....this is an internet forum called after hours..

ionapaul

We could get into the 'who defines what' game very easily here - for example, who defines a 'personal insult'? Maybe it is life experience that helps an individual define what is appropriate or not - I'd be a tad surprised to find out that the joker in question is an adult of advanced years with a grown up family! One way to help judge what is appropriate or not is posing yourself the question - 'would I say this thing to a person's face in real life or not'? I'm starting to sound like a preaching tool so I'll shut up! But I do think that joking to an expectant father that he should get an abortion for his pregnant wife is piss poor and would indicate to an old fogey like me that a teenager is loose on the interweb!

Dave!

Context + timing = muy importante!

I joke about anything as long as I feel that it won't upset the person or people that hear it.