What have you learned??

Siogfinsceal

What piece of advice would you like to pass on to those around you and those younger than you? What lesson has life thought you that school or college never did? personally I have learnt:
- Never use a fork to get the toast out of the toaster
- If you pretend to be stupid life is easier because people wont expect you to know anything. When you do something good people will be shocked. Always be the underdog - no-one will ever see you coming ;-)
- Smoking a dried banana skin does not make you high. In fact it just makes you feel sick and leaves a holy mess in your kitchen

fischerspooner

Don't marry Canadians

hullaballoo

When your woman is giving you grief, remember: you were made stronger and fitter for a reason.

Eminem

To keep your freinds close to you , Also pay more atention when your in schol there the best days of your life .

randomname

You'll miss school days when you have to work and pay bills.

Oriel

Never be afraid to hit a woman.

amazingemmet

Find a job you lovae and you'll never work a day in your life

Kinetic^

Don't eat yellow snow

connundrum

Take a year out after the Leaving cert, you're far too young to be deciding what you wanna do with your life then. 85% of my class either failed 1st year or dropped out of college altogether..

Oh and never work in sales, it'll eat you alive! :rolleyes:

seamus

Modesty gets you friends. Arrogance gets you money. Learn where and when to practice each.

LadyJ

Keyser Soze 69 wrote:

Don't eat yellow snow

Some women actually take a dump during labour so never get pregnant kids!

Binomate

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97: Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth.
Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine. Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing every day that scares you. Sing. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts.
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours. Floss. Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself. Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters.
Throw away your old bank statements. Stretch. Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone. Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's. Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own. Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room. Read the directions, even if you don't follow them. Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths:
Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out. Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen.

Eminem

Done leave your projects to late for the leaving , I have 6 to do for for monday

Kinetic^

LadyJ wrote:

Some women actually take a dump during labour so never get pregnant kids!

That is something I did not know LadyJ, nor did I want to know either :mad:

ST*

LadyJ wrote:

Some women actually take a dump during labour so never get pregnant kids!

Worded in such a lady like fashion indeed.
The baby applies pressure on the rectum as it passes through the birth canal. Excretions can occur, but in most cases does not.

fischerspooner

Never abuse solvents, get some proper drugs for god's sake.

When your wife/girlfriend announces that she is pregnant,and she then says she is worried that you won't fancy her when she get bigger and fatter....DON'T under any circumstances say "Of course i will,hey it's not as if i've never shagged a fat bird before,i'm a heavy drinker".

After a good night out, do not assume you know where the toilet is. Switch the light on and make sure. Women do not appreciate their clothes reeking of piss

Fat girls try harder in bed

16 / 17 year old girls: Writing in your online profile that you go to "collage," or study travel and tourism, alerts 34 year old perverts that you are probably a little bit dim, and are thus a prime candidate for being manipulated into sex. I know.

If at first you don't succeed, pay someone else to do it.

Drinking heavily, constantly smoking cheap hash and playing strategy games all the time is no substitute for a life or friends

seamus

Shock_treatment wrote:

Worded in such a lady like fashion indeed.
The baby applies pressure on the rectum as it passes through the birth canal. Excretions can occur, but in most cases does not.

Personally I though it was because of all the pushing, but because I lack ladybits I can't "check" to see which muscles I would use.

Kinetic^

fischerspooner wrote:

16 / 17 year old girls: Writing in your online profile that you go to "collage," or study travel and tourism, alerts 34 year old perverts that you are probably a little bit dim, and are thus a prime candidate for being manipulated into sex. I know.

I know somebody that is doing "Travel & tourism", she's definately very dim and a moron, so this is true

ST*

seamus wrote:

Personally I though it was because of all the pushing, but because I lack ladybits I can't "check" to see which muscles I would use.

I wouldn't know myself, had two c/s's.. but I done all my reading on the matter regardless. nasty business all that pushing :rolleyes:

fischerspooner

Posts Written Entirely In Uppercase Will Rarely Get A Sympathetic Response

edit: aaarrghghh it doesn't let me post in upper case, so much for that joke...

Kinetic^

Shock_treatment wrote:

I wouldn't know myself, had two c/s's.. but I done all my reading on the matter regardless. nasty business all that pushing :rolleyes:

:rolleyes: Always taking the easy way out

Only joking BTW

fischerspooner

the only time men can do two things at once is when we're w*nking and moving the mouse

Never say 'did you get my text / email?' They did. They are ignoring you

if she doesn't fancy you it's coz she's a lesbian - always. Remember - always!

ST*

Keyser Soze 69 wrote:

:rolleyes: Always taking the easy way out
Only joking BTW

meh. I dont care. pushing out two 10lb kids is not my idea of fun.
see do I give a sh*te <pun intended>

Kinetic^

Shock_treatment wrote:

meh. I dont care. pushing out two 10lb kids is not my idea of fun.
see do I give a sh*te <pun intended>

/shudders

ST*

• Always make sure there is toilet roll first before commencing business.
• Never have children. anyone who asks you in a wink wink nudge nudge way when the kids are coming, just want you to fall into the same trap as them.they are jealous of your single lifestyle.
• If you are wrong, fcuking appologise. its not that hard to do, admirable, and you will feel better for it.
• When texting, ensure your message is going to the right person. I recently sent something a bit naughty to my father .. havent seen him yet, but definitely dreading it.....

fischerspooner

If you trip up or stumble in the street, always remember to look back and angrily glare at nothing at all on the pavement and walk off squaring your shoulders and muttering 'Fcuking c*nt!'. It never fails to totally replenish your composure, ego and wins the respect of passers-by.

hullaballoo

I blinking knew you had kids ST. Liar.

ST*

hullaballoo wrote:

I blinking knew you had kids ST.

Quick on the uptake there hulla me aul mucka :rolleyes:

spiderlegs

Never lie to extreme degrees.....you WILL get caught.

ST*

spiderlegs wrote:

Never lie to extreme degrees

*grabs paper and pen*

must... rememeber.. this... :rolleyes:

xzanti

If your car lock is f*cked on the driver side (due to scummers tampering with same) do not park directly in front of a wall/pillar with the only working (passenger) lock tucked in against it..

Never put your dinner in the microwave with the tin foil still on it...

If a blonde hair dye does not result in a satisfactory shade of blonde the first time round... DO NOT put in another dye and leave for longer.. Especially when sunburnt and drunk... This tends to result in a septic pimple effect (Yellow on bright red)

CerebralCortex

Never go done the path in your life where you start trying to put reason to your existence it will f*ck you up cause there is no reason.

spiderlegs

Shock_treatment wrote:

*grabs paper and pen*

must... rememeber.. this... :rolleyes:

I know if only I could learn my lesson...:o
I am trying though....:rolleyes:

FlutterinBantam

Try to avoid as far as possible any kind of employment which involves dealing with the general public.....

They will break you

ST*

xzanti wrote:

Never put your dinner in the microwave with the tin foil still on it.

:eek: Rule numero uno in the lazygals guide to cooking

xzanti wrote:

If a blonde hair dye does not result in a satisfactory shade of blonde the first time round... DO NOT put in another dye and leave for longer.. Especially when sunburnt and drunk... This tends to result in a septic pimple effect (Yellow on bright red)

Do not lose faith Xzanti, try again. in light of the above - you are born to be blonde :rolleyes:

*runs*

Creamy Goodness

don't brush your teeth then drink oranage juice.

to prevent splash back first place some toilet roll in the toilet.

best things i've learned.

Ruaidhri

Long term relationships are for later in life.

He who shouts the loudest usually has the smallest willie :v:

17 is the legal age for a reason.

EOA_Mushy

Eminem wrote:

To keep your freinds close to you

Fully agreed...

Eminem wrote:

, Also pay more atention when your in schol

Fully agreed...

Eminem wrote:

there the best days of your life .

What in blue blazes are you talking about! Life only starts after school, make your own decisions(to the extent that you can) & definitly have less gobsh**e's to deal with on a daily basis.

Thing with school is that every one is there but few have a intrest in the topic to be covered...

(Scratch the rant if you mean geting to be lasy with out consequence...:))

deisemum

Try and remember it's nice to be important but it's more important to be nice (except where in-laws are concerned)

As you have to be in school do your best while there. It will help give you more choices later on.

Don't put off til tomorrow what can be done today (or something like that)

For those who have or may end up with in-laws (speaking from experience), do NOT keep biting your tongue if they give you grief, maybe give them the benefit of doubt once or twice if needs be but after that don't let them away with interfering in your relationship with your partner or let them get away being nasty to you. Start as you mean to go on.

If you are in a job or course that you hate see about changing to something that interests you.

Don't sweat the small things, leave that for the big ones.

Don't think it's a sign of weakness to apologise when you're in the wrong.

If you're saying something about someone to someone else make sure there aren't children around. They are sure to hang you.

scuba steve

-Dont eat yellow snow
-Always think contraception

Faith

Always check you're sendin texts to the right person

Move away from home for college

Don't count on people to keep in contact because they generally suck at it.

aidan_dunne

Here are my little words of wisdom for the world!

1: Always make regular backups of your porn..... whoops..... I mean your important documents on your computer! You just never know when your hard drive will fail.

2: Similarly, always keep your anti-virus software, anti-spyware software, etc. up to date. Keep Windows (if you use it) patched and updated regularly. Don't come crying to me when you get a nasty on your PC and you loose vital data. I warned you in advance, showed you how to keep your computer safe and updated so, if you chose to ignore my advice, TOUGH! (This is aimed at the many people who I've had to fix computers for over the years because they were either too lazy or stupid to take my advice, even after I clearly explained to them how important all this was and went through, step-by-step, in showing them how to keep their computers and software updated. Angry? Pissed off? Me? )

3: Learn to use the "search" function on Boards and other online forums. Seriously, the amount of times people start whole new threads when there's already an existing thread on the subject maybe just a little further down the page or on the next page or whatever is seriously annoying. It doesn't take too much effort to click to the next page to check or do a search or whatever.

4: Similarly, before posting a problem in the "Computers" section or wherever, learn to do a Google search to see if there's a solution already out there. Chances are, the answer already lies out there on the net somewhere.

5: Do not use "text speak" on Boards or any other online forum (this is a major, MAJOR bugbear of mine! :mad:). On a mobile phone it's understandable but when you have a full computer keyboard in front of you there's no reason not to use it properly and type complete words. Using text speak on an internet forum:

a: Annoys the other users and makes it incredibly slow and difficult to read.

and

b: Makes you look like a complete twat! :mad:


If I come up with any other pearls of wisdom for you later, I'll post them!

Dave!

aidan_dunne, the tips don't have to pertain directly and solely to the internet and/or computers!

The most important thing I've learned in my 18 years alive is that if you're making toast, and you want to heat your knife up to make it flow easier through the butter, do not stick it into the toaster and hold it against the heating coil -- the kettle is a much safer approach!

And also, be thankful for fuses -- every day!

Le Rack

love is all.

Cherub

Do not assume you know everything. Did that and here i am repeating first year in college cos I did economics for the leaving and thought i knew it all already. I failed it. and I failed the repeats.

If theres advice going, listen. you dont have to take it, but at least consider it. there may be alot of sense to it.

Fall in love once. And when you are in love, cherish everyday you have with that person. you never know when they'll be gone.

Make people think you are a bit crazy. makes life more interesting.

zappy

Faith wrote:

Move away from home for college

Yes. Leaving home for college was definetly the best move i ever made

Other advice I'd give...
... forgotten what I was going to say now. Ah well. Time for bed methink.

aidan_dunne

DaveMcG wrote:

aidan_dunne, the tips don't have to pertain directly and solely to the internet and/or computers!

Just sticking to what I know and love...... and sometimes hate!

Another word of advice. Never trust anyone, and I mean anyone, 100% completely and totally and never be so naive to think that they will never let you down or hurt you. Nobody is perfect so don't put them on a pedestal thinking they are because, inevitably, they will end up letting you down in some way or hurting you and it'll make that hurt all the harder to bear when it happens. Made that mistake myself in the past, older and wiser now so that (hopefully!) I'll never make that mistake again.

RainyDay

xzanti wrote:

If your car lock is f*cked on the driver side (due to scummers tampering with same) do not park directly in front of a wall/pillar with the only working (passenger) lock tucked in against it..

This made me laugh out loud.

My tip would be to realise early in life that beer tastes like 2nd hand urine.

dédé

sinecurea wrote:

Never be afraid to hit a woman.

No man will ever hit me! Otherwise I give him back!

TimTim

Life's a bitch then you marry one.

toffeapple

1. Never take advice from people on the internet...

2. Never own up to anything it unless you have too.

3.Blame someone who can't defend themselfs

4. Always have an alaby

5. Always look busy

6. Dont let people make you feel gulity...unless it helps you getaway with something

7. always pick on people weaker than you


and as my mate 3 fingered Lenny always says " Dont attempt carpentry when drunk"