Is he interested?

LegacyUser

I have started seeing this guy. So have been seeing him for about 3/4 weeks now.

I dont know if Im over reacting, but he rarely txts or calls or anything. i dont want to sound like an ejit-i havent been in the dating game for a few years and am not sure what this means. Does it mean he isnt interested? I dont want to be doing all the chasing. Am trying to keep it as casual and non-pressure as possible. I actually find chasing men a turn off.

I mean, I text him last night and he replied and everything. But today nothing.

Is this the way it goes? Am confused. He says that he likes me (and chased me so to speak to get together).

FlutterinBantam

Forget him...Move on

AngryBadger

need a little more info to be certain, but I'd say he likes you, and since you're trying to keep it casual, he probably figures it's casual.

He may be doing exactly the same as you, trying to keep it casual, and ten sitting at home wondering what the story is. There's no way to really know without putting your toe in the water.

Odds are he figures you don't want him hounding you so he's not, and that probably suits him, but tbh 3/4 weeks is a bit early to be worrying if he's into you or not. i mean you say he chased you, so I'd take that to mean he is into you.

daiixi

Maybe he hates phones/texting? Sit back and let him continue chasing. If he wants to be with you, he will!

honru

Leave it up to him, seeing as the ball is in his court now.

dar83

Why dont you ask him what the story is, it usually has a habit of working things like this out.

illicit007

Every guy is different. Usually if a guy is experienced he's going to know a few of the golden rules for when it come to dialling up attraction. Coming across as needy is not one of them. So leaving a day of not txting or calling you is only going to make you think of him more. Then again perhaps he's not thinking of you so much where he's going to call you. The thing is there just isn't enough info here for anyone to know for certain. Where did ya meet him, have ya been on any dates yet and if so what happened and if not why? etc... If ya want my advice, ask him out on a date. i.e. u and him alone, dress up kinda sexy, bust his balls loads and take the piss lots, mistake things hes saying for sexual innuendos, lean back and act like you care less either way as there's always some other cute guy out there who wants you for the hot thing that you are right, but at the same time flirt loads so he knows if he leans in to kiss you you're in. Maybe even act like you expect a kiss (you know eyes half closed mouth half open) if ya's get close. Oh and add alcohol.

Civilian_Target

What he said. Ask him out.Then you know.

Fanny Cradock

daiixi wrote:

Maybe he hates phones/texting? Sit back and let him continue chasing. If he wants to be with you, he will!

i hate this type of attitude. you have a question: is he interested or not? if you are unsure as to what the answer is then just ask him. no games.

Fraggle

Everone here is overreacting!I reckon its very very early to be able to tell if he is genuinely interested in you. Don't DREAM of asking him if he is interested at this early stage!Its coming on too strong! Give the guy a chance!Do you want him to run a mile?I know I would!Geez people.

The only way you will be able to tell is to wait out the next two or three weeks.When he does text or ring, make sure you come across as bubbly, flirty and desirable. If he asks you out, say you're not sure as you are really busy but then go along anyway.

The first three months are like a game of cat and mouse, every move is calculated. Maybe the guy doesn't want to come on too strong at the beginning.

To put it simply...wait!!!

Dave

He wouldn't be going out with if you if wasn't. Seriously, c'mon! Think this through. If you start acting all needy and desperate then he definately won't be interested any longer.

daiixi

Fanny Cradock wrote:

i hate this type of attitude. you have a question: is he interested or not? if you are unsure as to what the answer is then just ask him. no games.

Each to their own!

But chances are she'll ask him straight out and he'll freak and run for the hills!

Sarah**

Dont waste your time! he obviously isnt interested! Went through the exact same thing! He doesnt want to attach strings so i reckon delete the number and if he is interested he'll text you!!

Civilian_Target

WTF?! You girls are mad. Playing games don't work with most guys. I certainly would just figure "Either she's not interested, or she's messing with me in which case, I'm not interested."

If you're interested - say so. Especially with texts, its easy for wires to just get crossed, most guys will appreciate you being blunt and to the point.

And if the answer is no, at least you know the answer's no and you don't have to worry about if any more!

Fraggle

Sarah** wrote:

Dont waste your time! he obviously isnt interested! Went through the exact same thing! He doesnt want to attach strings so i reckon delete the number and if he is interested he'll text you!!

Way to freak the poor girl out!!!I wouldn't go so far as to say she is wasting her time.Its simply 2 early 2 tell and she needs to wait it out a little while longer and maintain her cool. She will discover from one date to the next (if it happens) whether they have anything to go on to build any sort of relationship.

Remember OP, he is still sussing you out too!

mikedean

Look after number 1. No messing. Ask him if he's interested in dating you. It's a simple question deserving a straight answer.If u genuinely likes you he will respond in the affirmative. If not he will say so or like many immature guys he will make up some excuse about not wanting a heavy relationship. Tell him to grow up.At the end of the day it is your life. You don't need half wits messing it about.

LegacyUser

The odds are good that he isn't pushed. He might have chased you so to speak but now that the chase is over and he's won the chase he's showing you what you can expect in the future. You're doing all the running with contact in this thing? He's not pushed.

AngryBadger

Civilian_Target wrote:

WTF?! You girls are mad. Playing games don't work with most guys. I certainly would just figure "Either she's not interested, or she's messing with me in which case, I'm not interested."

Totally.

*Oul_Doll_Cork*

It is a bit early to tell especially since you haven't spent much time with the guy! He might be thinking that you aren't that interested because you aren't calling or texting him!! It shouldn't be left to the guy to make all the moves, a relationship works both ways!!
To be honest though if it were me I would probably just forget about him because if you both got on really well and were mad about eachother from day 1 then you would both be texting eachother like crazy!!! But thats just my opinion, everyone is different I suppose!

b3t4

Just ask him out straight. Please don't listen to some of the stuff outlined above. I'm often quite blunt with men and it hasn't worked out too bad for me. It saves me a lot of hassle and frustration. You will know by his answer, at least your instinct will anyways.

A.

simu

Guys usually say if they're interested, I find. He sounds like more hassle than he's worth tbh.

Morf3h

b3t4 wrote:

Just ask him out straight. Please don't listen to some of the stuff outlined above. I'm often quite blunt with men and it hasn't worked out too bad for me. It saves me a lot of hassle and frustration. You will know by his answer, at least your instinct will anyways.

A.

what he said..

LegacyUser

Thanks a million for all the replies.

I dont want to get bitchy with him, 1. cause Im really not like that and would have to be pushed an awful lot for him to merit me giving out to him (after a month together!) and 2. cause I think that if he did that to me, Id run for the hills, so to speak.

I really dont understand him. I went to Dublin with some mates for the weekend. He txt me thursday asking how i was. I txt him back saying fine. Then I suggested we meet up sunday evening when I got back and he was all for it. So txt him there this evening to meet up and its 5 hours later and nothing.

I do really like this person. But I have to make a decision and rather than be bitchy, Id prefer to just tell him that its not working. We obviously have different ideas of things. As one poster said, look after number 1. I dont like feeling anxious.

lolo2

he is prob just outta credit / left his phone somewhere etc. id say just wait and see how things progress. i for one NEVER ring ANYONE even if i wanted to marry them! everyones different...hope it works out for ya

FoXXy

hehe yeh ive been in the exact same situation... some mates told me to wait it out, others told me to leave it, when he's bothered he'll make the move.

so i kinda took bit from both sides.... i'm waitin it out, but in the mean time i'm keeping myself busy and goin on other dates. that way im too busy to notice how many hours its been since he last txt. also it means that you have more optinos instead of sittin around pining for someone cos i doubt he's doing that.

So go get yaself more options, then see how things work out!

constitutionus

AngryBadger wrote:

Totally.

triple that, NOTHING annoys me more than head games. im sick to the back teeth of girls that ignore you or but on a cool disposition all night and then "miracurously" end up right next to you in the club or bar just before closing. like im too stupid to see whats going on.
im telling you by that stage i'll almost refuse to talk to her out of principle:D

lazydaisy

constitutionus - oh so true. That drives me nuts when guys do that. Which they do sometimes. Im currently on the receiving end of a headgame whose jig will be up fairly soon when I call him on it. Why continue to text someone saying they want to see you and then they dont make arrangements to see you. What is the point?

WTF - Why cant people be straight. What is so hard about it? Sick to the teeth, I need new words for sick to the teeth of it.

OP its all in the actions. Words are easy. Dont text. Ring. That way there's none of this no phone credit excuses BS. And theres nothing like a voice to get the truth.

tman

illicit007 wrote:

If ya want my advice, ask him out on a date. i.e. u and him alone, dress up kinda sexy, bust his balls loads and take the piss lots, mistake things hes saying for sexual innuendos, lean back and act like you care less either way as there's always some other cute guy out there who wants you for the hot thing that you are right, but at the same time flirt loads so he knows if he leans in to kiss you you're in. Maybe even act like you expect a kiss (you know eyes half closed mouth half open) if ya's get close. Oh and add alcohol.

if some bird i'd been seeing for 3-4 weeks started acting like that, i'd dump the nutjob asap:p

Shortnose

http://www.usatoday.com/life/books/excerpts/2004-09-08-hes-just_x.htm

Here's a link to an article about a book that hit the US last year entitled: He's Just Not That Into You

By a guy about what guy's *really* think and what their actions/non-actions mean.

If you are confused as to whether this guy is interested in you or not, then chances are...

I have found that a man knows *exactly* what he wants and goes after it without any qualms, until get has what he wants. That's it in a nutshell.

For your end, don't "wait" around, make "excuses", or dream it's going to turn into something it may not. Shift your focus away from this guy. Energy follows a vacuum. Let him feel the absence of your energy - not from a 'game' standpoint, but from the standpoint of giving him space for clarity as to how he wishes to proceed, if indeed he does.



And, btw, if he hasn't come up to your standards of how you wish to be treated, then dump him and move on to the next man. Take back your power, woman! Good luck!

AngryBadger

constitutionus wrote:

like im too stupid to see whats going on.
im telling you by that stage i'll almost refuse to talk to her out of principle:D

Dam hellass kings m'man. I freakin hate that! And could someone explain to me why the only women who make moves on me are going out with fellas? I realise I'm dashing in a villainous kind of way but Where're all the pro-active single women???

constitutionus

AngryBadger wrote:

Dam hellass kings m'man. I freakin hate that! And could someone explain to me why the only women who make moves on me are going out with fellas? I realise I'm dashing in a villainous kind of way but Where're all the pro-active single women???

dont get me started on that one:rolleyes: , all i hear about is how its so hard for girls to get a man yet i seem to have "whore magnet" stamped on my forehead. honestly if your with a guy what the hell are you up to
i know you were taking the piss about your looks but i think your on to something. i remember seeing a program a year or so ago saying womens menstrual cycle alters what they find attractive depending on the time of the month i.e 3 weeks out of 4 fancy a senstive type that makes a good father and 1 week out of 4 goes for the macho male to get the best genetic material.(see a prick )
i used to think it was bollocks, but have to admit i DO get alot of attention from hooked up women and while i like to think of myself as a nice guy i do look like a thug so maybe theres something in it.

what really bothers me about the girl from my local is that i REALLY like her but i honestly havent a clue whats going on. for instance ill chat her up and things look good but then the next time i see her its "cold shoulder" time, nothing too artic but not exactly giving me the feeling that my attentions are wanted. so i'll , being pissed off, will ignore her the next occasion and its "covert stalker" time
we've been doing this for years, i mean literally YEARS, both of us having relationships in between since we met, but were still dancing around each other to this day (the "miracle " apperance in the club being only this sat gone) im telling ya its getting to the stage where im just gonna say "hop on me cock , or feck off":D

i guess the moral of the story is, no matter HOW old you are , you'll always find some young one that'll make you feel like a bloody 12 year old:)

LegacyUser

stop texting him for god's sake, he'll start to think you're desperate..! leave it be, if he wants to be with you then he'll prob eventually let you know, otherwise forget about it. You're only seeing him 3-4 weeks - why are u texting him everyday???? do u want him to run a mile?

chandira

For me, games are a no-no. After 3-4 weeks, if I liked you, I'd be in pretty regular touch, unless I listened to some dumbass advice about don't text/call until blah blah blah.

Maybe he's nuts about you but terrified of contravening nonsensical date protocol. Maybe he's seeing others too. Who knows?

If you like him, ask him straight out. If he's into you he'll be glad you did. If he's not, at least you'll know. You're not being a nutjob by doing so. You're being an adult.

AngryBadger

constitutionus wrote:

i know you were taking the piss about your looks

...who was taking the piss?

constitutionus wrote:

but i think your on to something. ... 1 week out of 4 goes for the macho male to get the best genetic material.(see a prick )

I think it's simpler than that. When a woman is going out with someone she has the security of a "nest" to return to. So a lot of women will quite happily flirt with anything that happens into their "attractive" radius, because they know if it goes tits up they can still go back to the bf.

Conversely, it seems like single women just aren't willing to put their toe in the water, because they're afraid of getting burned.

lazydaisy

Angry badger - that is so so true. You hit the nail on the head.

Also - I think sometimes they are just checking up on their marketability. You know like when you already have a job but send out cvs just to see how viable you are and who would be interested in hiring you.

OP you can never know whats going in in someones head, You can only know how it manifests and how those manifestations affect your life and if its enough for you. Focus on enjoying yourself. See lots more people. Dont sit around waiting for him to phone you.

daiixi

MyOpinion. wrote:

stop texting him for god's sake, he'll start to think you're desperate..! leave it be, if he wants to be with you then he'll prob eventually let you know, otherwise forget about it. You're only seeing him 3-4 weeks - why are u texting him everyday???? do u want him to run a mile?

Are you kidding me? Seriously?? Either you like someone or you don't. It's simple. She sent him a text, if he doesn't reply then she shouldn't go chasing, but if two people like each other what's the problem with texting every day? If that's going to make him run a mile then I'd say:

1. He's not interested enough; and

2. He's too immature to be in a relationship!

constitutionus

AngryBadger wrote:

Conversely, it seems like single women just aren't willing to put their toe in the water, because they're afraid of getting burned.

you know im starting to think thats whats up with this girl. its just baffeling from my point of view because what i see is a beautiful (think sharon ni bheolain with a better rack ) vivacious stylish CONFIDENT girl. shes always being chatted up and when shes not shes got the guts to go up to a complete stranger and chat him up.
i dont know maybe she got burned bad in the past and is scared of being hurt, i know its arrogant to think this but maybe shes REALLY REALLY into me and just has a hard time dealing with it, hence why i get the head game treatment. i KNOW she has a problem with her body, which FLOORED me to the extent i missed the opportunity to compliment her. i was just shocked that she felt that way, honestly im really starting to think women are mentally INCAPABLE of seeing whats in front of them in the mirror:rolleyes:

AngryBadger

constitutionus wrote:

i KNOW she has a problem with her body, which FLOORED me to the extent i missed the opportunity to compliment her.

You are yet young in deed my Padewan :cool:

Seriously though, I keep coming back to this security thing. Women just generally aren't willing to put themselves out there to be shot down. Which will happen, no matter how good-looking/intelligent/fun you are, but nobody wants to get shot down.

lazydaisy

Women dont like to put themselves out there because they feel that if they do they will never know whether the guy really likes them or if she is just convenient for him.

No matter what a womens body is like, she will be insecure about it. We are never good enough for ourselves. I look at pictures of myself from when I was in college, and wonder what the hell I was insecure about. We are incapable of seeing whats in from of the mirror. I was 5'4 and 8 stone and thought I was fat.

It is much easier for women to be aggressively flirtatious with guys they have moderate interest in. Why? Because its too awful when you make the investment in someone you really like only to find out that you were a convenience.

We are taught that when it comes to men the pleasure is in the hunting not in the eating and this is what you have to be careful of.

constitutionus

lazydaisy wrote:

Women dont like to put themselves out there because they feel that if they do they will never know whether the guy really likes them or if she is just convenient for him.

No matter what a womens body is like, she will be insecure about it. We are never good enough for ourselves. I look at pictures of myself from when I was in college, and wonder what the hell I was insecure about. We are incapable of seeing whats in from of the mirror. I was 5'4 and 8 stone and thought I was fat.

It is much easier for women to be aggressively flirtatious with guys they have moderate interest in. Why? Because its too awful when you make the investment in someone you really like only to find out that you were a convenience.

We are taught that when it comes to men the pleasure is in the hunting not in the eating and this is what you have to be careful of.

and what exactly makes you think its any different for men there's nothing more devestating than to be laughed at by the girls of your dreams, but if we didnt make the move the whole RACE would have died out by now
to be honest ive been wrong so much with women that i REALLY care for that im extraordinairally cautious about playing my cards.
combine that with my stunning ability to attract absolute nutters (i tend to attract women from the axe wielding pyromaniacal set ,with a penchant for boiled cuszine ) and youve got a guy who's abit gunshy. the worst part is im completlely oblivious to this till they come running after me with said burnning axe lobbing a boiled rabbit.

the stupid thing is i KNOW what i should do. i should ask her out and go for it, rationally speaking all the signs are there. but as we all know there's sod all rational about the heart and your always worried about that one per cent chance that she really just wanted to be friends:rolleyes:

lazydaisy

Yes I attract nutsos too. But maybe they are the ones who have the courage to lay it out on the table. You attract what you project.

I am always impressed with a guy who has the courage to risk rejection. At the same time, Ive seen guys in clubs hit on every woman in the room just working the statistic probabiltiy that the more you hit on the more chances youve got. And I also know men who keep their crushes so well hid the woman has no idea.

Thats true. If men didnt make the moves the whole race would have died out by now.

Basically the conclusion Ive come to, is that if I like a guy I signal my interest and then if he wants to respond then thats cool- that way the risk of rejection of minimised but he gets to feel like the big man.

Maybe the blazing axe and the burning rabbit are the only way they think you;ll get their attention because you're too blind to see all the other hints they've dropped.

What do they need to do- take out a full page ad in the Times that reads "Hey constitutionus - I think your sex on legs- Id like to rip your pants off and take your underwear off with my teeth in one slow delicious move. Ring me before rabbit hunting season starts." ???

Now stop being a lameass.

Good advice from a fellow lameass.:)

constitutionus

lazydaisy wrote:

Maybe the blazing axe and the burning rabbit are the only way they think you;ll get their attention because you're too blind to see all the other hints they've dropped.

the axe and rabbit turn up AFTER ive gone out with em , with me of course having no idea that they were like that in the first place .

heres an example, i fancied a girl i worked with. we got on great and i thought it was recirprocated so i asked her out. she said no, but she said no in a "are you taking the piss" type no because im fairly sarcastic and she might have thought i was winding her up so romantic that i am and with valentines day only a day or two off i sent her flowers with a cryptic note (because her brother worked with us and i wanted to give her deniability ) basically saying i was on the level if she was interested. i was going to
persue her based on her first reaction the next day in work.
when i came in she took a huge rednner and avoided me the whole day, fair enough i thougt at least i know where i stand. but then from that day on ANYTHING i said had some kind of sexual connetation in her mind. it got to the stage i couldnt even work with her. for some reason which is beyond me she TOLD everyone in work about the flowers thing so got an awfull slagging off from the rest of the staff (which conversely worked out great for me seeing as the girls didnt think i was that romantic, i even hooked up with someone over this story:D ) but our friendship basically died.

fast forward TWO YEARS and i run into her in a bar in the city centre where im drinking with my brother and a few mates celebrating one of the lads promotion (stuck in one of those veins of people heading towards the jax in a packed bar and she was comming the other way so i couldnt avoid her) not wanting to be petty i said "hi" to no respose. "fine" i think and continue on my way. what id forgotten was by this stage i'd put on 4 stone in weight (which i needed i was waaay to skinny:) ) and lost most of me hair so i shaved it. my brother, who'd just seperated (see got fleecesed by a whore:mad: ) had lost 4 stone and still had most of his. WHILE IM IN THE JAX THE GIRL SENDS HER SIX FOOT BOYFRIEND OVER TO BEAT UP MY BROTHER BECAUSE SHE THINKS HES ME:mad: :eek:
the only reason he didnt was because my mate who got the promotions was part of the company rugby team and they all collectively took an interest in what he thought he was up to:D

anyway , this is just an example of what i attract/am attracted to. not to mention me instituting the "dont dip you nib in the company ink" policy (which actually led me to feck up what could have been a really good relationship too. but thats another story, which thank god, has a better ending:) )

AngryBadger

lazydaisy wrote:

Basically the conclusion Ive come to, is that if I like a guy I signal my interest and then if he wants to respond then thats cool- that way the risk of rejection of minimised but he gets to feel like the big man.

Maybe the blazing axe and the burning rabbit are the only way they think you;ll get their attention because you're too blind to see all the other hints they've dropped.

Most of what you've said in your previous posts I agree with, and kudos on stating it plainly as regards women's insecurities about themselves.

But, and this is just my opinion, why can women not be more pro-active? Hell, I'd settle for a level playing field as regards dating. but in my experience the more you make allowance for a woman being nervous about rejection ad tolerate the games, the worse it gets.

lazydaisy

I think many of them would like to be more proactive. I know that I enjoy a good chase myself, but the tapes that play are strong and loud that men like to do the chasing and if you do it you will just scare them and they will think you're a nut. In fact, women are profound self disciplinarians in this regard. You can desperately ache for someone and it will take all your restraint from doing the pursuing or approach. Believe it we suffer in our passivity. Its the same with going to bed with a guy too. You can really want him but your so worried that they'll think your a whore and not want you anymore that you play these stupid games. The more you like the guy the more careful you are. Retarded admittedly but thats how it is. And I guess guys know this, so if a girl does go to bed with him really soon, then he reads it as her not taking it seriously?

Self deprivation is a part of our life - why do you think we shop so much?:p After all the dieting, withholding, and playing hard to get, the only thing left is Brown Thomas.

constittionus- why did she want you beaten up. The work thing hardly seems able to justify violence!!! :eek:

Maybe the other crazies turn up with an axe afterward because you're irresistable and no one else will do. or maybe they didnt start out that way - but a few months with you made them crazy. And is it true what they say - that its the crazy ones that are good in the sack?

For me - the dangerous thing about playing these games is that you set an example for the other person thereby giving them persmission to play games also - and then where are we - driving each other crazy - thats where.

chandira

lazydaisy wrote:

I think many of them would like to be more proactive. I know that I enjoy a good chase myself, but the tapes that play are strong and loud that men like to do the chasing and if you do it you will just scare them and they will think you're a nut.

For me - the dangerous thing about playing these games is that you set an example for the other person thereby giving them persmission to play games also - and then where are we - driving each other crazy - thats where.

This is what drives me nuts about dating- ridiculous games. Where do people pick these ideas up, does anyone know?

I refuse to do it- if I like someone I'll get in touch, and if they're not into it then so be it. I'd much rather that than indulge in some kind of mysterious waiting game where you multiply the number of texts received by the number of blue smarties in a tube bought at first light on the morning of the winter solstice from virgin male and female twins, and calculate from that how many hours you'll wait before responding to their text.

I'd actually walk away from someone I quite liked if I thought they were doing this. It seems very childish to me, and sadly seems to be getting spread somehow as The Way To Do Things. It's all just fear, and a load of bo**ocks in my opinion, and a bit sad because it keeps people guessing about each other when a bit of honesty would sort things one way or the other.

If I like you you won't scare me if you get in touch, I'm probably thinking about you already anyway. If I don't like you, or only want to be in touch once every blue moon because I'm an asocial deviant then you're wasting your time anyway.

simu

I've never done it either tbh. Too much hassle. Say no, people!

AngryBadger

chandira wrote:

I refuse to do it- if I like someone I'll get in touch, and if they're not into it then so be it. I'd much rather that than indulge in some kind of mysterious waiting game where you multiply the number of texts received by the number of blue smarties in a tube bought at first light on the morning of the winter solstice from virgin male and female twins, and calculate from that how many hours you'll wait before responding to their text.

lmao but it's so true, where in dgd's name are women getting the rules from?

chandira wrote:

I'd actually walk away from someone I quite liked if I thought they were doing this. It seems very childish to me, and sadly seems to be getting spread somehow as The Way To Do Things.

Nail right on the head there. I've lost count of the number of women where things have been perfect, we've both been interested, we both get on really well, we're both dam shexy and then the games begin, and I just stop bothering

lazydaisy wrote:

think many of them would like to be more proactive. I know that I enjoy a good chase myself, but the tapes that play are strong and loud that men like to do the chasing and if you do it you will just scare them and they will think you're a nut.

You lot are listeining to some **** music right there. I should find whoever made these tapes and break their freakin' legs. When we were all teenagers this kind of theory might've ben acceptable. But surely you mount the old "hill of 20",and you realise that's not how it is, or at least not how it needs to be.

lazydaisy wrote:

In fact, women are profound self disciplinarians in this regard. You can desperately ache for someone and it will take all your restraint from doing the pursuing or approach. Believe it we suffer in our passivity.

Self deprivation is a part of our life - why do you think we shop so much? After all the dieting, withholding, and playing hard to get, the only thing left is Brown Thomas

You have got to be kidding me??? Sel-deprivation? What garbage is this, why would any sane person put themselves through that ind of "discipline".

I'm not saying we don't all want to look, and feel sexy, but what you just described is nothing short of self-torment. Why would you deny yourself anything you wanted THAT BADLY????

I'm sorry, but you can have your cake and eat it too in this case. It's possible for people, (and I mean both men and women), to be the kind of person they want to be, enjoying all aspects of their lives without this kind of backward thinking logic.

FREETOOROOME

Just Ask The Guy Why He Wont Text You Back.
Tell Him You Like To Make Contact That Way,
Just To Know He Is Thinging Of You
Ask Him;)

lazydaisy

Angry badger- I am in total agreement with you. It may seem irrational but thats how it is.

Im sure guys have their own version of it, knowing that girls like a challenge.

The reason women do this is because our mothers teach us this is how you control men. You know - why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free sort of thing.

To this i say girls - why buy the whole pig for a bit of sausage?:D

AngryBadger

lazydaisy wrote:

Angry badger- I am in total agreement with you. It may seem irrational but thats how it is.

But why does it have to be like that? Ok culture and all that, but at some point we are the architects of our own destinies, (.....ooohhhh fancy), but seriously, at some point you are making a decision to go in for that whole philoshophy, and there must be some sub-group of women who decide not to?

lazydaisy wrote:

Im sure guys have their own version of it, knowing that girls like a challenge.

No to put too fine a point on it, but the guy version can be broken into 2 stages.
Stage 1:
"Hey you seem really cool, and i think I love you, let's ****" :cool:

Stage 2: (this assumes the ****ing has taken place, the female now requires reassurance...)
"But, you do love me...right?"
"well........I love ****in' you...that's a kind of love....right?"

Which is all neatly born of the fact that men like sex, and because of the games women play we can't acquire sex without taxes, unless we become lying deceitful bastards. Which is pretty much what we do.

lazydaisy wrote:

The reason women do this is because our mothers teach us this is how you control men. You know - why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free sort of thing.

Control men. I've heard this a number of times from different women, under completly disparate circumstances. And I always tell them the same thing.

YOU CANNOT CONTROL ALL THE MEN YOU MEET. THE MAJOROITY OF THE MEN YOU THINK YOU ARE CONTROLLING ARE IN FACT JUST USING YOU FOR THE UNLIMITED SEX RE-FILLS. ONCE YOU REALISE THIS YOU CAN STOP WITH THE MINDGAMES AND HAVE A LIBERATING SEXUAL, AND ROMANTIC LIFE.

Invariably I'm met with cold stares, and sniffs, so I bring out my patented "oh I know you're mad at me, but look at how charming I'm being" smile.

WhiteWashMan

IsHeInterested? wrote:

I have started seeing this guy. So have been seeing him for about 3/4 weeks now.

I dont know if Im over reacting, but he rarely txts or calls or anything. i dont want to sound like an ejit-i havent been in the dating game for a few years and am not sure what this means. Does it mean he isnt interested? I dont want to be doing all the chasing. Am trying to keep it as casual and non-pressure as possible. I actually find chasing men a turn off.

I mean, I text him last night and he replied and everything. But today nothing.

Is this the way it goes? Am confused. He says that he likes me (and chased me so to speak to get together).

why dont you just ask him?