New Year's Text messages

Dr. Bill

Has anyone got any funny New Year's text messgaes that they are going to send. I need hints at composing a sweet text for my girlfriend.

RotalicaV

Happy New Year.

tman

copy and paste the lyrics of Marvin Gh3y's "Sexual Healing"
then replace every occurance of the word "Sexual" with "Textual"

worked wonders for me last Valentine's:p *





*by "wonders" i of course mean getting called a cheesy bastard for the next week...

hobie

copy and paste the lyrics of Marvin Gh3y's "Sexual Healing"
then replace every occurance of the word "Sexual" with "Textual"

Oh- baby now let's get down tonight.
Baby, I'm hot just like your oven.
Oh- I need your lovin'
And baby, I can't hold it much longer
Now it's getting stronger and stronger
And when I get that feeling
I need a sexual healing, sexual healing
And makes me feel so fine
And helps to release the mind
Sexual healing, is good for me
Sexual healing is something that's very good for me

Whenever these blue teardrops are falling
Oh no - and my emotional stability is leaving me
There is something I can do
Oh- I can get on the telephone and call you up baby
Darling, I know you'll be there to relieve me
The love you give to me will free me
And if you don't know the things you're dealing
Oh- I can tell you darling, oh it's sexual healing
Get up, Get up, Get up, Get up
Let's make love tonight
Wake up, Wake up, Wake up, Wake up
'Cause you do it right

Heal me, my darling
Heal me, my darling
Heal me, my darling
Heal me, my darling

Baby, you know I got sick this morning
A sea was storming up inside of me
Baby, I think I'm capsizing
Oh- the waves are rising
And when I get that feeling
I want a sexual healing
Sexual healing
And makes me feel so fine, it's such a rush
And helps to release the mind, Lord- it's good for us
Sexual healing, is good for me
Sexual healing is something that's so so good for me

And it's so good for us and it's so good to me my baby, woohhh
Just grab a hold and take control
Of my body and mind soon we'll be making love
Honey, oh- -- fine
You're my medicine open up and let me in
Darling,
Darling, you're so great
I can't wait for you to operate

Ohh

Heal me, my darling
I can't wait for you to operate
Heal me, my darling
I can't wait for you to operate
Heal me, my darling
I can't wait for you to...
Heal me, my darling
Heal me, my darling
Heal me, my darling
I can't wait for you to...
Oh baby, whenever these blue teardrops are falling

Heal me, my darling

yep, that should do the trick ..... if she stays awake while she reads it ...

tman

hobie wrote:

yep, that should do the trick ..... if she stays awake while she reads it ...

Baby, I'm hot just like your oven.
Oh- I need your lovin'
And baby, I can't hold it much longer
Now it's getting stronger and stronger
And when I get that feeling
I need textual healing

that's all that i could be bothered sending... doubt the full thing would fit in a text message tbh:p

Kiera

My bf sent a reminder to my phone 2 years ago saying “kisses from your baby, happy new year” it went off at 12 and was so sweet. We were in different counties at the time so it did the trick for me anyway.

Pighead

Send her a text on the stroke of Midnight with the words:

Hey ya babes, although i will always love you & remember the wonderful times we had, the fact of the matter is, a New Year means a new start.
although you were a great kisser, and a wonderful hugger i'm afraid its time to end our wonderful bond.
Happy New Year babes.

Now give it ten mins and send:

Only joking babes i'm still hot for your loving, maximum respect honeylips.Happy New Year.xxx

Pigheads used this message for the last three years and hes only lost one girlfriend because of it. Stupid network went down 5 mins after the first message sent and the dirty slapper went off with some filthy hornbag. Its all ok though,Everything happens for a reason.

The_B_Man

u evil bastard!

Bill im assumin yis will be apart on new years? just send her the usual standard **** that most ppl send. if u dont say it often then she'll be happy no matter wat. tho say sumtin like "its been a great 2 years, hope it lasts another 2" or sum crap. then insert a line or 2 of cheese and finish it off with "Happy New Year x".

easy!

lostexpectation

this is your midnight stroke

base2

I'm sending, 'I want my money back you ****ing bitch. Hope you miscarry' this year.

Vorsprung

Anyone get a text from "NewYearsEve" that just said ghjh? As it happens, I got it as about 10 seconds after I started reading this :eek: :eek:

Mossy Monk

base2 wrote:

I'm sending, 'I want my money back you ****ing bitch. Hope you miscarry' this year.

wow!!!!!!!!

liamskater

base2 wrote:

I'm sending, 'I want my money back you ****ing bitch. Hope you miscarry' this year.

jeez..

**elaine**

bigjimthefirst wrote:

Anyone get a text from "NewYearsEve" that just said ghjh? As it happens, I got it as about 10 seconds after I started reading this :eek: :eek:

Yes I got one of them too!
Think it was from one of the crowds in college though.

Vorsprung

**elaine** wrote:

Yes I got one of them too!
Think it was from one of the crowds in college though.

Yea think you're right, it got followed by a text from a well known Dublin niteclub (hate getting these texts so not gonna plug them) about New Year's Eve

Dr. Bill

Any funny ones????

vibrant

Yes, here's a great one... "I went on the internet to look for a clever message to send you because I couldn't think of one myself. I didn't have any luck. Happy New Year."

**elaine**

vibrant wrote:

Yes, here's a great one... "I went on the internet to look for a clever message to send you because I couldn't think of one myself. I didn't have any luck. Happy New Year."

LMAO
Good one, most original

Dr. Bill

Vibrant .... I like that one. Any more?:D

MrJoeSoap

base2 wrote:

I'm sending, 'I want my money back you ****ing bitch. Hope you miscarry' this year.

Thats not original, I get one of those every year. :rolleyes:

Keyzer

Pighead wrote:

Send her a text on the stroke of Midnight with the words:

Hey ya babes, although i will always love you & remember the wonderful times we had, the fact of the matter is, a New Year means a new start.
although you were a great kisser, and a wonderful hugger i'm afraid its time to end our wonderful bond.
Happy New Year babes.

Now give it ten mins and send:

Only joking babes i'm still hot for your loving, maximum respect honeylips.Happy New Year.xxx

Pigheads used this message for the last three years and hes only lost one girlfriend because of it. Stupid network went down 5 mins after the first message sent and the dirty slapper went off with some filthy hornbag. Its all ok though,Everything happens for a reason.

The more I read your posts the more I think your using the internet in brendans mental hospital or something.... Your stone mad...

spunkymunky

What about
"
Roses are red
Violet are..
No thats not right
Merryy new year
New happy year
I love happppy year u..
eh a little help..."

bullock

Interesting .......... Kind of confusing if your going to be hammered.

Lump

I have an Idea.... Don't send any messages and maybe the phone network won't be fúcked for 12 hours.

John

bullock

Shut up Billy no mates!!!!!!!!:D

Mossy Monk

he does make a valid point

Lump

I have lots of mates, I just don't want to wait them up at 8am with a text I sent at Midnight when they're in bed dying with a hangover.

John

IvaBigWun

Keyzer wrote:

The more I read your posts the more I think your using the internet in brendans mental hospital or something.... Your stone mad...

lmfao

On a side note I think the networks are going to be fuucked for 3 days this year

projectmayhem

spunkymunky wrote:

What about
"
Roses are red
Violet are..
No thats not right
Merryy new year
New happy year
I love happppy year u..
eh a little help..."

how about

roses are red
violets are blue
i want to **** you with a rake

Dr. Bill

Projectmayhem ... thats a wee bit sick!!!!

tman

it all depends on which end of the rake he's planning on using...

snappieT

*snorts milk through nose!*

projectmayhem

Dr. Bill wrote:

Projectmayhem ... thats a wee bit sick!!!!

are you... judging me?

Ro: maaan!

Pighead wrote:

Pigheads used this message for the last three years and hes only lost one girlfriend because of it. Stupid network went down 5 mins after the first message sent and the dirty slapper went off with some filthy hornbag. Its all ok though,Everything happens for a reason.

Haha.

Pighead's moving up in RoMaaan's estimation.

[Jackass]

Keyzer wrote:

The more I read your posts the more I think your using the internet in brendans mental hospital or something.... Your stone mad...

That's what I love about the dude! He's a funny bastard!!


I'm gonna use pigheads idea in reverse..im gonna text my ex before midnight...ask her back..then 10 minutes later when the clock strikes 12 send a txt saying im takin the piss...they wont deliver for a couple of hours, so hopefully i'll recieve her "I'd love to get back!" txt at the same time she recieves my "Haha! Takin the piss..happy new year!" txt ... then she'll recieve a "deliverd dubguys mob" report straight after and realise what she's done!!...ooohhh nasty...that'll learn her!

Dr. Bill

Yeah .... HAppy New Year dudes

The Bollox

I got this one earlier, I thought it was a classic!

'as it's New Year's Eve I have a lot of intelligent, fun, sexy friends to wish a happy new year to, so I am going to start with the ugly fcukers first'

ST*

IvE gOt YoUr RaBbIt

panda100

how a bout something like-'hears to you putting the sexy into my 2000 and sixy!'

StupidLikeAFox

No, thats fairly crap

panda100

ColHol wrote:

No, thats fairly crap

yep twas really-the best i could come up with though

Scraggs

panda100 wrote:

how a bout something like-'hears to you putting the sexy into my 2000 and sixy!'

that was so bad i lol'd

Enii

Happy Easter from the Alzheimers society...........

Bettyboop

how about one I got last year
HAPPY NEW QUEERS

Peteee

Enii wrote:

Happy Easter from the Alzheimers society...........

I see my text message is slowly filtering about the country

Enii

Peteee wrote:

I see my text message is slowly filtering about the country

Did you create this one 2 years ago, cause that's when I got it!

StupidLikeAFox

Enii wrote:

Happy Easter from the Alzheimers society...........

and the best of luck for 1984

Peteee

Enii wrote:

Did you create this one 2 years ago, cause that's when I got it!

No I got it earlier on tonight, and just sent it round! :v:

panda100

Scraggs wrote:

that was so bad i lol'd

I actually ended up sending mine last night to a few people and it got a v.positive response-a new career in poetry beckons.....

ST*

panda100 wrote:

I actually ended up sending mine last night to a few people and it got a v.positive response

I got loads with similar stuff in them, which is nice and all.
But I went with my 'ive got your rabbit' in deranged writing. when the networks un-jammed (unjammed?? i dunno) I got a couple of texts back with the lol's lmao's etc.

Cabaal

I got to say for the most part the phone networks did'ent seem to get ****ed over too much lasnight, was kinda amazed really