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Gorls' Opinions on Big Guys

  • 23-12-2005 11:27pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10


    Girls, what are your opinions on big guys? I mean fat, not otherwise. I keep getting shot down and i feel that most girls cant see past my weight. Is everyone thet shallow?:confused:


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    well not trying to insult you or anything but how fat exactly? theres being chubby and theres obese?

    personally and i'm being brutally honest, i could never consider dating someone who was obese its just a turn off for me. it wouldn't bother me in the slightest however if a guy was a little over weight, i find it quiet cute actually and am currently smitten by a certain 'chubby' guy :)

    but for every girl who likes a skinny guy theres one who'll like a big guy, what one person considers attractive isn't what everyone else considers attractive im sure there are plenty of skinny guys out there who can't find a girl either.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 122 ✭✭cheekyass


    to tell you the truth i love big guys, but yes a lot of ppl are quiet shallow


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,067 ✭✭✭FunkyChicken


    cheekyass are you by any big? Just wondering.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,217 ✭✭✭Matthewthebig


    the deeper the cushion the sweeter the pushin

    and then's there's just fat


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 122 ✭✭cheekyass


    5' 2 ", size 10-12


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,624 ✭✭✭✭Fajitas!


    I think us big guys just need to have the confidence. OP, I know where your coming with this, and TBH, if someone dosn't like the way you look, just move on, with a smile on your face. She ain't the last one. And if she's that shallow, she shouldn't be that important anyways. Plenty of people who'll appreciate you for who you are.

    Oh, and I'm 6'4 and a generally big guy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,673 ✭✭✭✭senordingdong


    Are you absoloutly sure it's because of your size though?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 806 ✭✭✭Atrocity


    Lots of girls go for big, strong, rugby types


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,578 ✭✭✭Scraggs


    TBH depends on teh guy.. quite, quite attracted to a few ''fat'' lads but i reall y like them and hangin with them if ya know what i mean.
    really does depend on the lad. yes somepeople are shallow


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,546 ✭✭✭Enii


    Scraggs wrote:
    yes somepeople are shallow
    Maybe they are not being shallow about the look of a fat person but just do not want to be with someone who stands more of a chance of suffering from diabetes, heart attacks, etc.

    Or maybe they equate fatness with unattractive traits such as laziness and it is for this reason that you get shot down.

    But than some people are shallow and won't even consider someone who is not tall dark and attractive, etc.

    But don't worry, I am sure you will meet Ms. Right!


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,788 ✭✭✭Vikings


    Alan_C wrote:
    i feel that most girls cant see past my weight.

    Thats partly true, it depends on the situation though.

    The sad fact of the matter is if you go out to a club or a pub most girls won't see past your weight at all no matter how charming you are. Now you will get a handful of women how don't care about it but most girls out in clubs and that are only out to meet those skinny guys. Outside of the 'pulling' scene I find that women don't really see your weight as a problem.

    As has been said though there is being fat and there is obese. Last year I was just under 22 stone and didnt care about what other people thought of me, but for the sake of my own health i've lost 4 stone since then, its not hard once you put your mind to it. Pm me if you want any info or help.

    Don't let it get you down though, thats the worst thing that can happen keep your chins up.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,220 ✭✭✭✭Lex Luthor


    don't let it get you down...she'll come along some day when you least expect it

    at least you can lose the weight, they can't lose their attitude. Chin Up.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭DAEDULUS


    its not your weight thats the problem,its your insecurity about it..girls can spot it a mile away and will run as soon as they do...

    also,theres no difference between nightclubs and normal everyday circumstances in terms getting birds, one of my friends is pretty big(maybe 25-30%bf) and is the best person ive ever seen at getting birds in clubs :p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,003 ✭✭✭rsynnott


    I wouldn't worry too much, unless you're unhappy with your weight yourself. I know plenty of people who are overweight and get people, while I'm skinny-ish and tend not to. I don't think it's a huge factor.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,514 ✭✭✭BrianD3


    DAEDULUS wrote:
    its not your weight thats the problem,its your insecurity about it..girls can spot it a mile away and will run as soon as they do...
    This OP has posted in the fitness forum and gives his weight as 394 pounds @ age 16. He doesn't give his height but assuming its about average he's morbidly obese. If you still maintain that it's his attitude that's the problem not his weight then I'm afraid you're extremely naive.

    I believe this could be a troll anyway. Because it's hard to imagine how someone could get so heavy at such a young age. If the OP is not trolling then my advice is he should forget about girls for the moment and see a doctor ASAP about his weight because his life is in danger at that weight.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭DAEDULUS


    fair enough if he is actually super heavy it might have a bad affect,but nowhere near as much as he thinks


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,187 ✭✭✭✭Sangre


    woman wrote:
    but for every girl who likes a skinny guy theres one who'll like a big guy, what one person considers attractive isn't what everyone else considers attractive im sure there are plenty of skinny guys out there who can't find a girl either.

    More like for every 10 girls who like skinny guys theres one chubby chaser.

    A lot of people aren't attracted to overweight people. Appearantely they're 'shallow' because they are attracted to certain attributes.
    Although if the person only dated fat people they'd never be called shallow.
    C'est la vie though.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 122 ✭✭EvilPixieOne


    To tell you the truth I wouldn't go out with anyone who was overweight just because I'm a very active person and I'd want my boyfriend to be too. I wouldn't call myself shallow, because I am attracted to people who aren't conventionally attractive in other ways, but energy is definatly something that I need in a partner, and obesity doesn't show this tbh


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,371 ✭✭✭✭Zillah


    cheekyass wrote:
    to tell you the truth i love big guys, but yes a lot of ppl are quiet shallow

    Thats not fair. Do you mean to maintain that having any sort of physical requirements for who you will date is shallow? How about if someone is so fat they can't move properly? What if they had a huge nose? Full facial burns? Gross deformity? Tiny eyes, huge mouth, acne, bad hair, no hair, too much hair.

    You just happen to like large people, and it completely unfair to call others shallow for not liking large people, especially if there's any physical reasons that you wouldn't date someone.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,624 ✭✭✭✭Fajitas!


    To tell you the truth I wouldn't go out with anyone who was overweight just because I'm a very active person and I'd want my boyfriend to be too.


    I wouldn't agree with that at all, I have ****loads of energy, more motivated than most people I know like. If someone is overweight they are seen as lazy. Ha, feic that! Energy can all be down to metabolism!

    And just because the OP is 16 wouldn't mean anything, when I was in 3rd year, there was a guy a year ahead of me, who was very obese. It just happens I guess. He's starting to lose weight now though...about 5 years later... :confused:


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  • Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 9,654 Mod ✭✭✭✭mayordenis


    i used be kinda heavy since i lost weight i've been getting plenty of women but i was never wanting tbh some people can have a kinda pudgey cuteness i think.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Heyes


    Fajitas! wrote:
    I think us big guys just need to have the confidence. OP, I know where your coming with this, and TBH, if someone dosn't like the way you look, just move on, with a smile on your face. She ain't the last one. And if she's that shallow, she shouldn't be that important anyways. Plenty of people who'll appreciate you for who you are.

    Oh, and I'm 6'4 and a generally big guy.


    You hit the nail on the head, if the girl judges you 100% on your appearance and does not like what she see's then to be honest it is totally her loss..

    I love big men, i find them v sexy. So get out there be you, and shine, and the girls will come your way.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Heyes


    DAEDULUS wrote:
    its not your weight thats the problem,its your insecurity about it..girls can spot it a mile away and will run as soon as they do...

    thats not true


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭DAEDULUS


    Heyes wrote:
    thats not true
    first of all,check my sig...
    secondly, please explain for the craic why you dont think its true anyway :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Heyes


    DAEDULUS wrote:
    first of all,check my sig...
    secondly, please explain for the craic why you dont think its true anyway :)

    I personally would not run away from a guy because he is insecure about how he looks. i would prefer a guy to be honest about how he feels, rather than going around thinking he s god's gift...

    Id run away faster from a guy who thought he was god s gift than if he was insecure.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 50 ✭✭rrrrr


    Alan_C wrote:
    Girls, what are your opinions on big guys? I mean fat, not otherwise. I keep getting shot down and i feel that most girls cant see past my weight. Is everyone thet shallow?:confused:

    The way you look doesn't matter. It's all about communication. As long as you look decent you can get girls. Put me in your body and I'll pull a hot bird first night out and turn her into my g/f. Get out more, it builds character.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭DAEDULUS


    Heyes wrote:
    I personally would not run away from a guy because he is insecure about how he looks. i would prefer a guy to be honest about how he feels, rather than going around thinking he s god's gift...

    Id run away faster from a guy who thought he was god s gift than if he was insecure.

    well,just from experience and some reading i can tell you now that your arguing with the majority of women...think about it,your out with a guy and every 5 seconds hes checking to see if his ass looks big in the trousers hes wearing..it completely contradicts the concept of being a manly man..its not being honest about how he feels,its being a pussy.. by being insecure about it he is showing that hes worried about what other people think about his weight...thats not manly?

    only reasons i can think of for your argument:

    1. you dont get much male attention and take what you can get..

    2. your a lesbian searching for the inner woman in every man

    merry christmas :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 307 ✭✭SexeeAussie


    DAEDULUS wrote:
    first of all,check my sig...
    secondly, please explain for the craic why you dont think its true anyway :)
    Check the spelling of your signature first......



    Alan, it really depends on a number of things, if you are unhappy or unhealthy at the weight you are then it is a good reason to change...but only for YOURSELF..

    I personally believe in the physical being 'just' that...the physical..if it starts affecting the person within then things have to change.

    If people treat you differently because of your 'size' then that is truly THEIR issue.....not yours

    Goodluck


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭DAEDULUS


    damn you,never noticed the sig :p AND YOUR NOT SEXEE


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Heyes


    DAEDULUS wrote:
    well,just from experience and some reading i can tell you now that your arguing with the majority of women...think about it,your out with a guy and every 5 seconds hes checking to see if his ass looks big in the trousers hes wearing..it completely contradicts the concept of being a manly man..its not being honest about how he feels,its being a pussy.. by being insecure about it he is showing that hes worried about what other people think about his weight...thats not manly?

    only reasons i can think of for your argument:

    1. you dont get much male attention and take what you can get..

    2. your a lesbian searching for the inner woman in every man

    merry christmas :)

    Right first and formost who in there right mind checks if there ass looks big every five minutes. Everyone relaxes after a while, even those that are totally insecure. You certainly strike me as a very imature individual with your opinions.

    As for your reasons, again you prove my point ur v imature... for one im not single, so your opinion of lack of male attention is rubish, and this clearly answers your second opinion.

    Now please grow up and if your going to answer or voice your opinion please try and make it a valid point at that. :rolleyes:

    Merry Christmas


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭DAEDULUS


    do you know what its like to be overweight? i do,i used to be heavy and insecure about it..and i can garuntee that i used to check my tshirt every 5 seconds to see if i showed my belly hanging out or showed my man tits,and i could see every other fatguy doing the same things...you never relax about it,you might think they are relaxed but its just that they think there in a position where they arent prone to mockery,but they are always thinking about it..

    also,the fact that you arent single doesnt mean you get alot of male attention,your boyfriend could be and loser that you settled for because you couldnt do any better for all i know...

    just like to air my opinion about this:
    all men that if they wanted they could probably go find the closest extremely ugly girl and tell her shes beutiful and she will be lovin it,but men dont want to be with those extremely ugly girls...its usually the better looking women who go for cockier and more confident guys and the not-as-good looking women who go for less intimidating men(shyer etc..)..so saying that insecurity means nothing is generally said from the point of view of an not so attractive girl, or an attractive girl that is in denial (which is also very common)..and therefore is not very helpful to the OP because although he might score and ugly or whatever,its not what he really wants,its not in his mind to go 'i want to score ugly girls', while thats as far as your opinion is going to get him :p


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Heyes


    DAEDULUS wrote:
    do you know what its like to be overweight? i do,i used to be heavy and insecure about it..and i can garuntee that i used to check my tshirt every 5 seconds to see if i showed my belly hanging out or showed my man tits,and i could see every other fatguy doing the same things...you never relax about it,you might think they are relaxed but its just that they think there in a position where they arent prone to mockery,but they are always thinking about it..

    also,the fact that you arent single doesnt mean you get alot of male attention,your boyfriend could be and loser that you settled for because you couldnt do any better for all i know...

    just like to air my opinion about this:
    all men that if they wanted they could probably go find the closest extremely ugly girl and tell her shes beutiful and she will be lovin it,but men dont want to be with those extremely ugly girls...its usually the better looking women who go for cockier and more confident guys and the not-as-good looking women who go for less intimidating men(shyer etc..)..so saying that insecurity means nothing is generally said from the point of view of an not so attractive girl, or an attractive girl that is in denial (which is also very common)..and therefore is not very helpful to the OP because although he might score and ugly or whatever,its not what he really wants,its not in his mind to go 'i want to score ugly girls', while thats as far as your opinion is going to get him :p

    Jesus talk about a chip on your shoulder... the answer to your first question would be yes, i do know what it is like.

    There is no need to be so harsh with your responce, all i ever ment by my responce was that girls DO NOT run away from a guy that is big. This is a common opinion of a lot of my friends, and not just my opinion. There is no need for you to get so harsh with your responce, remember you dont know me, so dont judge and jump to so many conclusions.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,362 ✭✭✭the Guru


    dont worry about it im 17st and 6ft 3in and Im in a relationship, alot of girls out there love big boys ,

    wear the right type of clothes, smile , be interesting and for godsake man make them laugh


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,203 ✭✭✭Heyes


    the Guru wrote:
    dont worry about it im 17st and 6ft 3in and Im in a relationship, alot of girls out there love big boys ,

    wear the right type of clothes, smile , be interesting and for godsake man make them laugh

    thats for sure, if you can make a girl laugh you are flying... if not, just chill, be you and you ll be fine :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭DAEDULUS


    Heyes wrote:
    all i ever ment by my responce was that girls DO NOT run away from a guy that is big.

    well theres a difference between what you meant,and what you said...


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 122 ✭✭cheekyass


    Zillah wrote:
    Thats not fair. Do you mean to maintain that having any sort of physical requirements for who you will date is shallow? How about if someone is so fat they can't move properly? What if they had a huge nose? Full facial burns? Gross deformity? Tiny eyes, huge mouth, acne, bad hair, no hair, too much hair.

    You just happen to like large people, and it completely unfair to call others shallow for not liking large people, especially if there's any physical reasons that you wouldn't date someone.

    There wasnt any refernce in my previous post to suggest that i thought people are shallow FOR not liking large people, but for those who took that the wrong way, what i ment was that people CAN be shallow for ruling out others just because they are large or skinny or whatever.It is shallow to make judgement, and reject someone, based on one physical attribute.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 719 ✭✭✭Vangelis


    My boyfriend has a little round tumm.. a bit of flesh, I call it. But it's really cute! To the original poster: Different people have different tastes. It will help if you have a good self-image and confidence. Those things are very attractive to many women(including me). Are you self-confident and happy about yourself?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,193 ✭✭✭[Jackass]


    I didn't really read this entire thread, except for op, i'll just throw in my opinion, being brutally honest..

    Guys who work out/play sport/ in great shape usually end up with Girls who work out/ play sport/ in great shape.

    Average looking lads usually end up with average looking girls.

    Physically unattractive people usually end up with physically unatractive people.

    Sure, we all know exceptions, and yes it's perfectly plausable that anyone person could brake this trend...but it is a trend and it's usually what happens.

    The main thing is though (if they're funny/ have great personality) that fat lads have a much better chance of pulling a good looking chick than a fat chick has of pulling a good looking lad..so you know, every cloud....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 387 ✭✭fischerspooner


    the thought of having sex with fat people repulses me, I could never go out with one. A little bit of weight is fine, but you have to draw the line somewhere. It's all down to poor diets and lack of exercise. Don't give me this metabolism/water retention etc. mullarkey. If that were true there'd have been fat people in the concentration camps when the allies freed them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,003 ✭✭✭rsynnott


    the thought of having sex with fat people repulses me, I could never go out with one. A little bit of weight is fine, but you have to draw the line somewhere. It's all down to poor diets and lack of exercise. Don't give me this metabolism/water retention etc. mullarkey. If that were true there'd have been fat people in the concentration camps when the allies freed them.

    There are indeed extremely rare medical conditions which cause obesity. 99.999% of people tho, it is a diet/exercise issue. That said, they may find it very difficult to correct.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,462 ✭✭✭Aisling(",)


    My current boyfriend is overweight. but I wouldn't care if he put on more weight because I'm attracted to him for his personality not his body.i liked him from the first time i met him and he was big then as well.So op the right girl will come along eventually so don't worry and just enjoy yourself in the meantime.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 387 ✭✭fischerspooner


    well if this guy really is 390 pounds his chances of getting a woman are incredibly slim unless he loses about 150 pounds. That is a freakishly heavy weight.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,942 ✭✭✭MojoMaker


    My current boyfriend is overweight. but I wouldn't care if he put on more weight because I'm attracted to him for his personality not his body.i liked him from the first time i met him and he was big then as well.So op the right girl will come along eventually so don't worry and just enjoy yourself in the meantime.

    In fairness, aren't you like 14 or something? Therefore can't afford to be too choosy. 390lbs for a 16yr old lad is extreme, even if he was 7'2" which I doubt. Even then he'd look pretty damn pudgy. As others have said, a fat lad or a fat lass indicates far more than just the weight alone. A little bit of attention to one's condition over the next 12 months should ease the situation and bring results to the OP's confidence in spades.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 482 ✭✭spooiirt!!


    Not wanting to date an 18 wheeler truck has nothing to do with being shallow. Its just a matter of taste. I dont like fat girls. Its just not sexy. And tbh its not really hard work to control ones consumption a bit, and hit the gym 3 times a week is it?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭LundiMardi


    spooiirt!! wrote:
    Not wanting to date an 18 wheeler truck has nothing to do with being shallow. Its just a matter of taste. I dont like fat girls. Its just not sexy. And tbh its not really hard work to control ones consumption a bit, and hit the gym 3 times a week is it?
    well when you're 16 and 390lbs i'd like to see you have the confidence(and money) to ''hit the gym 3 times a week''. Unfortunately it is actually quite hard.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,193 ✭✭✭[Jackass]


    Dude, that's seriously messed up! 390 lbs = 28 stone!! At 16? That has to be a medical condition...you would literally have to spend the last 16 years sitting in bed eating burgers all day!

    I suspect you already have, but go to your GP to get medical advise, go to a dietician to get a structured diet & go to a fitness instructor to get a exersize plan...This would have to be the most important and prioritised thing in your life! Your health in the long term is seriously comprimised!

    If you work hard you would be amazed how much weight you could shed in the space of a year...plus your confidence and attractivness will increase immesurably! Spare no expense and sort it out..that should be your new years resolution.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 482 ✭✭spooiirt!!


    Well if someone weighs that much its their own bloomin fault. Unless they have a sick parent tha forced them to eat so much.


    "well when you're 16 and 390lbs i'd like to see you have the confidence(and money) to ''hit the gym 3 times a week''."

    You dont have to go to a gym, you can buy one of those stationary bikes and cycle that all day. Or you can just do sit ups all day and run laps of your house. That doesnt cost too much afaik.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,724 ✭✭✭BoozyBabe


    I'm generally a smart-arse when it comes to ripping the p!ss out of people & enjoy giving as good as I get.
    This generally is the main thing I look for in a fella, someone who will make me laugh & challenge me to be witty.
    There's no real physical qualities that a man MUST have, but I do love a cheeky smile.

    Saying all that, I could not be attracted to an obese person, I just couldn't & I don't think that makes me shallow. I don't mind a bit of pudge, but when it comes to the point where he has to manoeuvre one leg AROUND the other in order to be able to walk, or can barely join his two hands together because of all the fat in the way, then that's way too much for me.

    I could definitely still be good friends with someone like that & enjoy having a laugh with them, but it could never get sexual.

    & tbh, it is the only physical trait that I could say a definite no to before knowing the person.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 288 ✭✭hepcat


    if the OP really is 28 stone (?) then he is more than big / fat, he has a serious obesity problem that will ruin his health if he does not take steps to change it. This should be his main priority, and tbh very few people find obesity attractive, and that does not make them shallow.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,144 ✭✭✭LundiMardi


    spooiirt!! wrote:
    Well if someone weighs that much its their own bloomin fault. Unless they have a sick parent tha forced them to eat so much.


    "well when you're 16 and 390lbs i'd like to see you have the confidence(and money) to ''hit the gym 3 times a week''."

    You dont have to go to a gym, you can buy one of those stationary bikes and cycle that all day. Or you can just do sit ups all day and run laps of your house. That doesnt cost too much afaik.
    how many 16 year olds can afford to buy a stationary bike? how many 28 stone people do you know who can do sit ups 'all day' or run laps around the house?


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