Starting to consider suicide....

py2006

Hi all,

This is a long thread. I am sorry. Some of this is very personal, please dont take it lightly or poke fun.

I probably shouldn't really be posting this hear but it seems to feel good to type your feelings out anonomously and get feedback.

I find myself thinking alot these days about suicide. I don't believe I would ever do it as I have a good family and I would hate to hurt them.

I believe I have been depressed for years. In fact looking back I know I have been.

People who know me wouldn't think so as I am quite funny, friendly and always laughing and smiling.

I am 28 now but when I was about 18 I met a girl who I fell head over heals in love with. I hadn't much experience of girls prior to that and I was painfully shy and inexperienced.

We ended up going out for about 2 weeks and I was in total heaven. She dumped me to go off with my friend at the time and it left me absolutely devastated beyond believe. Because I was such a sensitive person at the time my heart was ripped out. It was unreal and hard to explain. You may aswell have told a 8 year old child that his mommy and daddy had died, it was that bad!

In hindsight, it turned out to be a good thing as my mother died a couple years later and it seemed to toughen me up emotionally and made me better able to handle it.

But ever since then I haven't really been a happy bunny. Education, jobs, girls, sex never really worked out for me. I have failed at all of them.

I went through a real bad state of depression a couple years ago where I didn't work for 8months. Just stayed in the house putting on weight and relying on video games to pass the day.

I do work now part-time and not as depressed as I was back then but still I have my real bad days. I find it extremely difficult to motivate myself to do anything these days. I am contantly tired and run down.

I seem to have problems with food too. I think I comfort eat. Its hard to explain but I think I eat too much or eat irratically. Some days I do feel really unwell after eating. My stomach feels bloated, my face goes pale, I get bags under my eyes too. But sometimes I am fine. Its like my digestive system doesn't work right. I know I don't have an eating disorder but I think its just down to the fact that I don't always eat my meals at same time every day and I snack too much. I aint fat or anything but could do with loosing a couple pounds I guess.

This all leads to me feeling very tired and run down and just feeling out of sorts. It all makes me irritable, annoyed and frustrated. Thus, causing the depression.

Sometimes when I skip a meal I feel and look amazing. Its hard to explain. I do feel fully alert and awake. have great colour in my face and feel really strong and confident.

I find too now that I have erection problems. I haven't been with a girl in a while because my confidence is shattered over this.

I seem to only get semi-aroused when it comes to masturbation. I don't achieve a full erection and it doesn't last long if you know what I mean. So as you can expect I am afraid to ask a girl out as she wouldn't stay with me.

I am not sure if all this is connected or just in my head or what but its gets me down big time.

And I find myself now a 28 yr old male, still living at home with little or no money saved. No girlfriend. The majority of my mates are now buying houses, getting married etc etc

And lately I seem to be considering what suicide would be like. Relieving the pain and frustration. I get some disturbed pleasure out of imagining what my friends would think or say when they hear I am dead. I like the feeling that I am liked/loved/missed etc.

I would never do it though.

Ok, thats it. I was told it feels good to get this kinda stuff off your chest.

tinkerbell

First off, nobody's gonna poke fun at you. People are here to help.

Have you ever considered going to a counsellor? I think really that would probably be your first step to getting yourself back on the right track. You seem to have a lot of troubles that go way back, so maybe it'd be good for you to start there?

It's always worth a shot. I know Irish people seem to be really anti-counsellors, but at the end of the day, if you need help, that's what they are there for.

Good luck dude.

man_with_a_plan

i think you may have forgotton to go anonymous, otherwise, hang in their mate and talk to people about your problems, suicide should never be an option.

py2006

Thanks guys! Your probably right. Although I don't think I could afford a councellor.

How do I change it to annomous

Capt'n Midnight

Suicide = permanent solution to a temporary problem.

Hang in there it will change around.

don't worry too much about feeling low at christmas, lots of people get depressed in the "festive season" and don't get hung up on new years resolutions most people fail with theirs.

There is nothing like the feeling of standing in the pouring rain when everything has gone pear shaped, and just enjoying the moment.

py2006

Standing in the rain when everything has gone pear shaped! Thats an interesting one. Will give it a shot!

rugbug86

dude don't do it, i know it seems like everything in your life is sh1te, but it will get better. i was in the same boat last year and i didn't think i'd get through it, but i did. yeah, i still have bad days but its better than having no days.

talk to your doctor about how you're feeling, they might be able to refer you to a counsellor and help you with your health issues.

your man issues are probably related to stress, as the food thing.

hang in there, it will get easier.

Fanny Cradock

py2006 wrote:

Just stayed in the house putting on weight and relying on video games to pass the day.

And I find myself now a 28 yr old male, still living at home with little or no money saved. No girlfriend. The majority of my mates are now buying houses, getting married etc etc

first off, it's like you have taken my life and posted it above . don't worry too much, many other people are in a simular situation as you (and me).

i'm not exactly sure, but i think there may be some free counselling services out there - someone may know more about this. other than that, i would suggest changing your diet , i.e. avoiding that processed crap and eat lots of fruits and veg instead, get plenty of exercise and try keep yourself occupied - clubs, hobbies etc.

make sure you do something about this. people are there to help you, but ultimately the first step - to ask for help- is yours to make. that step can be something as simple as talking to a friend, your gp etc.

you know, maybe your post is the first step.

good luck mate.

py2006

Fanny Cradock wrote:

first off, it's like you have taken my life and posted it above . don't worry too much, many other people are in a simular situation as you (and me).

i'm not exactly sure, but i think there may be some free counselling services out there - someone may know more about this. other than that, i would suggest changing your diet , i.e. avoiding that processed crap and eat lots of fruits and veg instead, get plenty of exercise and try keep yourself occupied - clubs, hobbies etc.

make sure you do something about this. people are there to help you, but ultimately the first step is yours. that step can be something as simple as talking to someone - a friend, your gp etc. you know, maybe your post is the first step.

good luck mate.

Thanks dude!

py2006

I always find Christmas and New Years difficult. I actually have to try hard not to break down crying at times.

I know girls are gonna throw their eyes up to heaven when they read this but men cant let their emotions out like that in public. Its just not done! I know that sounds ridiculous but its true. Its not a macho thing or whatever its just that it doesn't feel right.

How often do you see a guy in pub or whatever crying and all his mates gathering around to give him a hug! It doesn't happen. Well maybe in the George it does! haha

Fanny Cradock

my pleasure py2006.

stay safe

Victor

How about sitting down and just talking to someone, anyone?

Of course there are many people who are trained to listen from doctors to councellors to priests. If you don't have the money, something wan always be done.

http://www.samaritans.org.uk/

jo@samaritans.org

1850 60 90 90

Atrocity

Suicide = permanent solution to a temporary problem.

that's an excellent way of putting it.

try to tackle the problems one by one starting with the smallest one and every day you'll feel a little bit better

crazy days

I've been watching the replys some really good advice there......
Time to deal with those problems but remember take it one step at a time it's diffcult to try and take on everything at once, remember your only human.

py2006

Yea, the responses have been great. I am pleasantly surprised!

Zombrex

py2006 wrote:

And lately I seem to be considering what suicide would be like. Relieving the pain and frustration. I get some disturbed pleasure out of imagining what my friends would think or say when they hear I am dead. I like the feeling that I am liked/loved/missed etc.

This is a quite common fantasy amoung people who commit suicide ... the thing they forget is they will be dead, so they will have no idea what their friends and family will be saying, though probably something along the lines of "Jesus christ that kid must have been pretty f**ked up"

What you really want is people to feel for you, to notice you a bit more, to imagine you are some how specially. That is also a quite common feeling amoung people who are depressed. You want attention off people, but you want the attention to be heartfelt. By feeling other people really care about you your depression lifts as you start to feel more connected to people around you.

The only problem with that is that is also bullsh*t ... it is just how you are feeling, and it doesn't translate into the real world. For a start people do care about you, but they will never care enough that it will actually effect your depression. That is what the thing with the girl was, I bet ya. I mean you went out for two weeks. Sorry to say this but the effect of the relationship was in your head, she made you feel better about yourself and thats why you were devestated when she left, not cause you were actually madly in love or even in love. It was nothing to do with the girl herself. And comparing your mother dying to a 2 week relationship ending is not very healthy to start with. You need to see events for what they are, not for what you feel they should be (ie some massive tramatic experience in your life on par with your mother dying). I know it hurts, but really the break up itself was nothing, i doubt you could list off 10 things you actually liked (or even knew) about this girl, other than she was going out with you.

The first thing you can do is tell yourself you have a problem with depression. The second thing you can do is tell yourself you can get better. The third thing is to actually do something about it. The third bit is the hard part. It is very easy when someone is depressed to blame events and people around him, or even blame himself (that whole "i've failed at everything" line) over and over with out actually doing anything constructive about it.

I suggest you book an appointment with a trained counselor tomorrow. Be under no illussions, this isn't something that will change over night, but I mean you have to start some where. It could take years. You also need to take more excersise, get a job etc etc

Ironically fantasying about suicide is actually still wanting other people to make you feel better, to fix the problems you are having. You fantasys about how upset everyone else will be if you died and from that you feel better about yourself because you feel increased self worth, just like going out with that girl increased self worth. Other people have fantasies about how being in a car accident or breaking a leg will get them attention from their friends, or from girls (or men if they are girls).

The problem is you shouldn't be thinking like this in the first place. You need to get our own head in order, and that is something you need to do, not look to others to do for you. In reality that girl breaking up with you should not have had any effect on your life what so ever. In reality you shouldn't care if people turn up to your funeral or not cause you will be too busy being dead.

You should be prefectly happy just being you, and if you are not that is what you should work on. You need to learn to be happy living in your own skin before anything else around you.

Seriously, go see a councelor as soon as you can.

py2006

Thanks for that Wicknight.

But I wasn't comparing breaking up with that girl to my mothers death. I meant that it made me stronger and more able to cope with my mothers death.

The break up of that brief relationship was my first experience of hurt. If it happened today it wouldn't have affected me as much.

It was my first girlfriend, first proper meaningful kiss etc and I was really naive, innocent and sensitive at the time and it really hurt.

The reason I brought it up was because I think it might have been the cause of the depression. I wasn't depressed before it.

Zombrex

py2006 wrote:

The reason I brought it up was because I think it might have been the cause of the depression. I wasn't depressed before it.

It might have been a trigger but it wasn't the cause. Everyone has their first break up, but it doesn't send everyone into a spiral of depression. Your depression was there before hand.

But like I said, you need to be discussing this stuff with a trained professional.

Atrocity

good luck to you sir, and as i said before, if you ever wanna talk, pm me. I've gone through a lot too so It always helps to speak to people who understand you. good luck and merry christmas!

lazydaisy

OP-

Try the samaritans right now. Get off these boards and phone.

Please get decent counselling. WK is right. You need a trained and experienced professional. And it will get better.

No amount of breakups can prepare you for the loss of a parent. There is no such thing as a toughening up. It can wreak havoc on your life. You need to find a way to love and value yourself.

I know that suicide can feel like a consoling option, but try to remember that the pain doesnt end, it just gets handed down to someone else.

You dont have to live with this pain. You can heal.

turbot

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. If you're not feeling good now, what is to say that if you die, you'll feel better?

Isn't it just better to do things that do help you to feel better about yourself and your life. I reccomend taking a balanced approach.

Here are some really good books that can help kick-start you:

"The Optimum Nutrition Bible" - By Patrick Holford. Basically, if you are depressed, and you are eating unhealthily, then you create a vicious circle that perpetuates itself of lethargy and lack of vitality. By eating better (and exercising more) you'll quickly begin to have more energy. When you have more energy, you can more fully engage in making your life better, and quickly.

These books offer inspiration, and life strategies about how you can improve:

"Unlimited Power" by Anthony Robbins.

"Change Your Life in 7 Days" by Paul McKenna.


I wish you luck!

Genghis

Hi py2006.

First of all, fair play to you posting up all that personal stuff. I think that is a very positive move, something that you could look back on as being the first step you took to getting over your depression.

I hope you don't mind me saying this, but it seems to me that your life is a little empty. You spend a lot of time alone, at home, in interaction with video games, TV, internet etc.

It seems a little glib to suggest, but I think that if you could become involved in some physical activity with a social dimension, then you could solve a number of your problems. For example, decide in 2006 you are going to take up running, maybe target the Dublin City Marathon? Or cycling, or hill walking, or a triathlon, or some other challenge. Or maybe physical activity / sport is not your thing - how about a musical / drama society?

You will find that with something to aim for, train for and plan for, with other people along side you, that you are out of the house more, in more company and gaining confidence. You will eat less junk, feel more active, more alive. You will meet new people, make new friends. At your age, you are likely to meet other single people (those involved in these sort of activities by definitiion are not married with children), start dating, etc.

All of the above will not be easy to do. While you are not happy in your curent lifestyle, I would say that you are comfortable, and it will be difficult to break the cycle and make a change.

But New Year's is a great time to start.

luckat

Py, what Wicknight says, and what Daisy says. Phone Samaritans straight away.

Seems to me that you've got into a big tangle of negative reinforcement here. You're ricocheting from your work ("I'm a failure!") to your eating ("I can't control it!") to your love live ("What love life!") to living at home ("At my age!") and on and on. Stoppit! Do something about it - not suicide, but start working to make a better life for you and your family.

You're going to have to unpick this knot one thread at a time and get yourself back into happiness.

For a start, forget about suicide. Waste of energy.

And get some psychiatric help, preferably behavioural-cognitive, which will tackle your self-reinforcing behaviour, and also the false thinking underlying it.

Beruthiel

you have gotten some great advice on this thread, take it!

might I just point out the obvious, that life can be truly overwelming if you start looking at it in full, thinking of all the things that coulda/woulda/shoulda happened - stop looking at others and holding them as a yardstick to yourself.
So what if people are getting married around you or buying houses, it's not the end of the world for you.
You’re only 28, anything is possible. I started my whole life from scratch again at the age of 30, an age when I was very unhappy indeed, but those changes have brought me to a stage where I have never been happier.
I learned that the trick is, to take one little step at a time, give yourself a tiny goal, achieve it and move to the next, this makes changing your life in the long run much easier.
After a year or two of tiny little changes, you will look back and notice a lot about yourself.
Now is the time to start, get yourself some counselling to start with, get the first little goal started and who knows where it might end, don't wait another minute, start today!
best of luck
a

Dragan

To be honest dude,

you have answered all of your own questions in your post. You think you have a problem with food, when you miss a meal you feel great etc.

You know that the girl dumping has had an effect, and also that your mother dying seems to have an impact. You seem to be scared of sex, i can only assume as you lack some confidence.

My first advice would be to sort out your diet. Your not going to kill yourself, i think we all know that as despite your problems i can see a positive light in there so i think you may be alright my friend. Your diet on the other hand seems to really be having a bad effect on you.

Start eating clean and eating right. You will have more energy, you KNOW that you will feel better, you will begin lose some weight and feel more confident.

It's all about small steps. Tomorrow morning no one will have a solution to the emotional problems, that will take some time and effort for you to work out. However, you can start making things better by helping youself. Eat well and you will feel well, feel well and you will begin to see more clearly!!!

AnonymousBloke

Very sorry to hear of your situation. Lot of good advice here. As others have said, you can get through it.

Re counselling, there is reduced rate counselling available. I know the Institute for Creative Counselling and Psychotherapy offer it (click 'Services' then 'Reduced cost therapy'). I've heard there are other places too-worth asking around.

I wish you well

i would seriously never consider suicide no matter how bad life gets
talk to a councellor theres always another way

PJG

Hey, the start of a new year just around the corner, life is good and I’m sure it will be good to you. Food has a huge impact on how we feel, processed foods and refined sugar really clog up or systems and make us feel Sh***. As the others have said attend your counselling, change your diet and exercise is great for lifting our moods.

I look forward to you coming back with good news soon

Remember

"Only you can make your dreams come true."

"A negative thought is like an embryo - the more you feed it, the stronger it grows."

Miss Fluff

Beruthiel wrote:

take one little step at a time, give yourself a tiny goal, achieve it and move to the next, this makes changing your life in the long run much easier.

That's so true. I think that if we view all of our problems as one MASSIVE problem, we can feel really overwhelmed and feel the inability to cope. Compartmenalize those problems py2006, keep each individual problem in it's own box and deal with each one separately. Nobody can press a button and suddenly make every facet of life wonderful but by taking small baby steps, these in turn will have a snowball effect and hopefully lead you on the path to having a happier life. You have already taken the first step by addressing your problems in your post, so why not look at it again, and deal with each issue individually. You sound like a great person with a lot to give the world, so don't even think about leaving it until your real time has come. Happy Christmas, New Year New Start xx

py2006

Hi guys, Thanks for all your responses. They are great and make lots of sense.

I would like to reiterate that I would NEVER commit suicide. I was just getting freaked out that I was starting to think about it.

Again, thanks for your responses.

Squirrel

This probably won't mean much to you, but today in school we got a talk on depression off a guy from Aware. I'll admit it was incredibly boring, but when I started thinking about it, it made sense. Maybe a bit of education on different ways to help could come in handy. Fully understanding the problem mightn't help you find the cause, but there'll be the comfort in knowing that you're not alone, and there are people willing to help

funkymonk

Lots of good advice here. Especially from Beruthiel and lazydaisy.

It must have taken guts to come on here and post what you did. That’s a sign of strength not weakness.

I would recommend finding out what works for you: Perhaps Exercise( it does for me - get yourself some dumbbells or go running, get active).

Try setting small goals for yourself as mentioned previously also great. "Today I will get X done" and when you achieve X, allow yourself to feel proud, to feel good about yourself.

And eat healthy of course, learn to cook proper meals, its fun and creative!

Perhaps your into reading, you can find some inspirational stuff in there. Perhaps read up what Philosophers have thought on the matter of happiness.

These have worked for me, don't know if they’ll work for you but you can get active and discover what does.


Best of luck

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
Friedrich Nietzsche

nitrogen

You, your consciousness exists now, for a brief spell in the 9 billion year life span of our planet. A blink of an eye in the life of the universe. You will never ever exist again!

If it's about a girl, there's millions of them.

Travel. Whether it be getting some cash and going to Brazil, India or a trip in Europe. Go to South East Asia, screw whores, you'll find a GF in days. It's an extreme example but ANYTHING is better than never ever existing again.

Buy Dylan & Young albums, you're not the first to be dumped! Everyone gets depressed, you sometimes you have to force yourself not to be. Eat better, see a doctor, talk to people, take up a hobby, join clubs, take classes in anything.

We are lucky animals to have evolved intelligence and consciousness. Appreciate it, don't go f**kin ending you life. Open your mind, read, travel, do what ever you gotta do but there is a big big world beyond your city / country.

Savman

py2006 you sound like an intelligent being so I wont bother with the "kids suicide is bad m'kay";)

Rest assured these are just random thoughts, you still choose which ones to follow & act out, others can stay as just "thoughts".

I think you'll be fine, get yourself active, boredom and depression are hand in hand so work full time, work overtime, visit old friends, family, get drunk, book tickets to concerts, see some theatre, go see King Kong (its cool) and keep yourself going in any way possible so that your mind is over occupied (or in einstein's term "used":D )

Friendly people can always make friends, women are overrated and "failure" is just one possible outcome of trying so keep knockin on that door, you'll get an answer eventually!

Keep us posted! Webfriends are friends too!:D

py2006

Savman wrote:

py2006 you sound like an intelligent being so I wont bother with the "kids suicide is bad m'kay";)

Rest assured these are just random thoughts, you still choose which ones to follow & act out, others can stay as just "thoughts".

I think you'll be fine, get yourself active, boredom and depression are hand in hand so work full time, work overtime, visit old friends, family, get drunk, book tickets to concerts, see some theatre, go see King Kong (its cool) and keep yourself going in any way possible so that your mind is over occupied (or in einstein's term "used":D )

Friendly people can always make friends, women are overrated and "failure" is just one possible outcome of trying so keep knockin on that door, you'll get an answer eventually!

Keep us posted! Webfriends are friends too!:D

Cheers, buddy!

Savman

ps buy the following DVDs:

Dodgeball
Dumb & Dumber
Liar Liar
Anchorman
Life Of Brian
Family Guy
Austin Powers 2
Groundhog Day (very appropriate!!!)
Kingpin
There's Something About Mary
Me, Myself & Irene

that should do it!:p

py2006

Savman wrote:

ps buy the following DVDs:

Dodgeball
Dumb & Dumber
Liar Liar
Anchorman
Life Of Brian
Family Guy
Austin Powers 2
Groundhog Day (very appropriate!!!)
Kingpin
There's Something About Mary
Me, Myself & Irene

that should do it!:p

I laughed myself silly at Me, Myself & Irene.

Savman

:d

L33

this is the first time i ever been on this site. I was concerned when I read your earlier message.
If you go to a doctor and explain how low you have been feeling, he/she will give you the name of some counsellors in your area. All reputable counselling centres have counsellors who will work on a sliding scale basis, so you pay what you can afford (it can be as low as 5 euro). Counselling may seem a little scary but once you call to make an appointment you will feel relieved.
You might also talk to the doctor about medication options. Sometimes a mild anti-depressant can give a person the lift they need to move forward.
Please look after yourself by getting the support that you need.
take care

ZENER

Like someone said earlier, it's like you described my life too ! You have the advantage hover many people in that you can be honest with yourself and are fully aware of your feelings. I would suggest though that rather than contemplating suicide that you are in fact just trying to "imagine" being dead.

Sounds to me that you haven't really dealt with your mothers death properly. Get someone from your family that you're really close to and just talk about her from your earliest memories right up to the point where she passed away, it might offer you a chance to truely grieve and acknowledge her passing. I suggest this because someone close to me has a similar problem for the same reason as yours.

The advice offered by all on this thread is from complete strangers who have taken the time to help you, appreciate this and accept that you're not alone with your problems: there's always someone to share them with.

On the movies thing by the way - The meaning of life - Monty Python brings it to basics, always makes me laugh.

Peace

ZEN

py2006

Cheers, I do appreciate all the responses. I wasn't expecting to get so many.

I promised myself I would start eating better but I guess the week thats in it isn't really a good time to start. We had a christmas dinner in work and I was given 3 deserts! Am stuffed at mo. Always makes me feel/look rotten after eating a heavy meal.

I am close to my immediate family but we were never the sort of family that hug/kiss and talk about our feelings. So that would be a difficult one.

Savman

py2006 wrote:

I am close to my immediate family but we were never the sort of family that hug/kiss and talk about our feelings.

You and I both chief!
See my sig

galwaydude

mate dont give up.Be happy that your healthy and alive. I nearly lost one parent this year and thankfully shes ok now. Its not all bad, first thing you do is talk to your family.

If they cant help ring the samaritans.As loads of posters said just talk and your problems will seem less and less.

Your problems wont go away unless you face them head on so make a new years resolution to get out more, confide to a close friend and dont keep things bottled up.

I know with it been christmas it gets lonely especially if you dont have a gf.Be happy with yourself first and foremost.

Try to cut down on the food you eat.When you feel down do something constuctive instead of eating.Write things down, write down your goals for the week and try to stick to them. Your only 28.

Dagon

The one post that really struck me here was:

What you really want is people to feel for you, to notice you a bit more, to imagine you are some how specially. That is also a quite common feeling amoung people who are depressed. You want attention off people, but you want the attention to be heartfelt. By feeling other people really care about you your depression lifts as you start to feel more connected to people around you.

The only problem with that is that is also bullsh*t ... it is just how you are feeling, and it doesn't translate into the real world. For a start people do care about you, but they will never care enough that it will actually effect your depression.

This is so true. And it's exactly what happened to me. I was a nobody in my school days, and I thought that was the reason for my depression. I too contemplated suicide, and went very very low. Then in my early 20's I managed to get myself into a situation where I was admired, noticed, praised, accepted and given loads and loads of attention by 1000's of people through my acting, and most importantly by the people in my own community who had never noticed my skills before. I had all the things that I craved when I was a nobody at school (useless at football and all the other things that make you *somebody* in school). Yet still the problem was not solved. In fact, if anything I felt just as empty after winning awards and doing my town proud on a nationwide tour.

The real solution came (for me) through meditation. Now I understand, for everyone it's different (some people on here are quite weary of this). But this works for me! That is all I can say. I can't speak for anybody else. And it has totally changed my lifestyle too. Because the lifestyle is how we live, therefore we are as we live, nothing else. When a person cuts out the junkie lifestyle (whether it's on alcohol, drugs, fast food, sweets, gambling, porn) then one will naturally alleviate many problems. But this is no good (and probably won't happen) unless you clean the mind first. Clean the mind, then you can work effectively on the body.

PM me if you want to knw more.

py2006

I have a tonne of new years resolutions now that should help me perk up a little! Whether or not I stick to them now is a different thing!

Ian147100

Don't have much experience with much of what you said however I can advise you somewhat regarding the erection problem. Erections are directly related to confidence, I'm convinced of it. If your confidence is low then chances are (in my experience anyway) that your ability to get an erection will be significantly compromised. That's my ten cents worth.

rsynnott

luckat wrote:

Seems to me that you've got into a big tangle of negative reinforcement here. You're ricocheting from your work ("I'm a failure!") to your eating ("I can't control it!") to your love live ("What love life!") to living at home ("At my age!") and on and on. Stoppit! Do something about it - not suicide, but start working to make a better life for you and your family.

This rings true, as it's somewhat similar to what happened to me a while ago; I had about four (what looked like to me) big insurmountable issues which seemed to be feeding back on each other.

If this fits what you feel (that there are all these points you're unhappy about) Solve one of them - it doesn't really matter which - and the rest will follow. A good start might be the eating one, as it is solvable through willpower and can be done gradually.

Lone Stone

py2006 wrote:

Thanks guys! Your probably right. Although I don't think I could afford a councellor.
How do I change it to annomous

There is places for free that offer counceling you could try the north side partnership (if your in north dublin)

or there is a place called "out and about" they are free depending on your situation there suported by the health board or something like that so they take people of free

but im sure if you look up "out and about" you will find something helpfull.
its just a matter of pushing yourself depression is a very lonely place to be.

laluna

hi

i hope you are okay.

addictions whether money, gambling, food etc. are painful.

if you broke your leg you would go to hospital and get it in a cast.
so try do try to get help through medication and maybe a counciller - it really does help. see how it goes....

even if you felt a tiny bit better would'nt that be good.

try picking up a good visualisation/meditation cd/tape that walks it through with you, it is nice to focus on something different even if for 10 mins

if you need a chat i am here
take care & happy christmas

Victor

py2006, hows it going?

Roen

Whats happening man?