ho ho oh!!

panda100

hey-just wondering if any one feels sorta lonely at this time of year whan your not going out with anyone. I've got loads friends and family but i suppose that the fact i dont have somone to cuddle up to beside the fire,toasting chesnuts is quite lonely. Its seems this year that ALL my mates are going out with someone and talking about what to buy their boyfriends etc,and everywhere I look these days there seems to be couples:(

I hate feeling sorry for myself cos I know im so lucky that I have a nice family and home to spend my christmas unlike some people this year. However, even though i think im an alright person, i think,generally good fun and the likes, and all me mates say im a good catch. But i havent been asked out in soooo long(bout a year now at this stage!) that i think I've forgotten what its like to go on a date. I have lots of guy friends and go out a lot, and meet lots of people yet whenever we're chatting to guys in a big group i always find that i usually click with with the guys and have the banter and its always my mates that end up being asked out by them or kissing them. I suppose this is just getting me down cos id like to maybe meet someone to go out with. Anywho i suppose its just this time of year that makes you sorta wish their was someone really special in your life.

Sarky

It's hardly uncommon. I've developed grumbling about my friends and their significant others into a fine art at this stage.

*shrug*

It's not something worth getting worked up about.

Miss Fluff

Sarky wrote:

It's not something worth getting worked up about.

I agree, it's just the time of year that's making you feel a little blue! Don't be sad

Thing is, I've quite a few mates who are with completely the wrong people for the sake of it and it boils down to a fear of being alone.....better to be on your own that being with the wrong person for the sake of it.....IMO, there's nothing more lonely than being in an unhappy relationship. Embrace Singledom and be patient!!!

Victor

panda100 wrote:

hey-just wondering if any one feels sorta lonely at this time of year whan your not going out with anyone. I've got loads friends and family but i suppose that the fact i dont have somone to cuddle up to beside the fire,toasting chesnuts is quite lonely. Its seems this year that ALL my mates are going out with someone and talking about what to buy their boyfriends etc,and everywhere I look these days there seems to be couples:(

Look at it this way, you can kiss as many people on New Year's Eve as you like and not feel guilty.

White Rabbit

Hi Panda

it might be in your case that most guys would see you as out of their league.

I've met you a few times and, well, not to put too fine a point on it, you're a slim, tall, blond who's studying medicine and knows how to drink pints - that's pretty intimidating on both a physical and intellectual level :eek:

Rest assured you're not being looked over because of some hideous flaw but rather because you don't have any obvious ones!

(Disclaimer: to my 'special friend' who reads boards "hi honey :-* , see you tomorrow" *kisses*)

Baz_

White Rabbit wrote:

Hi Panda

it might be in your case that most guys would see you as out of their league.

I've met you a few times and, well, not to put too fine a point on it, you're a slim, tall, blond who's studying medicine and knows how to drink pints - that's pretty intimidating on both a physical and intellectual level :eek:

Rest assured you're not being looked over because of some hideous flaw but rather because you don't have any obvious ones!

(Disclaimer: to my 'special friend' who reads boards "hi honey :-* , see you tomorrow" *kisses*)

Get a room!

Vorsprung

White Rabbit wrote:

Hi Panda

it might be in your case that most guys would see you as out of their league.

I've met you a few times and, well, not to put too fine a point on it, you're a slim, tall, blond who's studying medicine and knows how to drink pints - that's pretty intimidating on both a physical and intellectual level :eek:

Rest assured you're not being looked over because of some hideous flaw but rather because you don't have any obvious ones!

(Disclaimer: to my 'special friend' who reads boards "hi honey :-* , see you tomorrow" *kisses*)

So you 2 going out? Congrats! That was a funny episode!!

Am in your boat Panda, most of the the lads I hang around with are taken, except 1 who got the heave-ho of late. Haven't had a proper girlfriend in ages, nor a date. It'll come when you least expect it!

White Rabbit

bigjimthefirst wrote:

So you 2 going out? Congrats! That was a funny episode!!

We're not "going out" per se, but we're having fun .

Enough of that though, I don't want to pollute Panda's thread.

JohnCleary

I have a GF and I still get very lonely at this time of year.

I blame hating my family and general non-closeness to them

Red Alert

i'm quite surprised to read your post panda but i have to say i'm just used to having singleton christmasses. i've somehow managed never to have had a girlfriend over the christmas period! amazing really.

and yes i can vouch for the above glowing description of panda too.

akw_old

wait you're blond, tall, slim, studying medicine and a good laugh. if blokes don't ask you out then they are idiots!

wanna go out for a drink?

arbeitsscheuer

Miss Fluff wrote:

better to be on your own that being with the wrong person for the sake of it.....IMO, there's nothing more lonely than being in an unhappy relationship. Embrace Singledom and be patient!!!

Spot on... Took me years to realise this...

Don't just say yes to the next guy who asks you either, panda... Make sure you go out with someone because you really want to, and not cos you fear the alternative.

Gotta be comfortable with yourself, by yourself, before you can get in a relationship with someone else.

BEAT

not to worry, all us singletons feel this way more around the holidays... christmas isnt as bad because Im too busy running around to various family members to notice but its new years eve that gets me every year...
just had this conversation the other day actually...
Seems like every year Im the only one without a date and I wish I were just home alone, but out celebrating with your family is better than home feeling sorry for yourself

Itll come dear, we will all find someone eventually...when the time is right. Enjoy the alone time while you have it, one day youll wish you had more of it

py2006

I always feel pretty crappy around this time aswell. I rarely have a girlfriend because I am a ugly sod!

I have the personality and sense of humour they all claim is important but if ya dont got the looks ya dont get the gal!

Anyway, sorry about that rant!

I always feel sad on New Years too for some reason. I find it hard to be happy.

I aint the only one it seems. I remember being down the local a few years ago for New Years and the amount of people who broke down in tears is unreal.

rainbow kirby

The being single thing is the worst thing about this time of year for me... I hate seeing couples everywhere, and knowing I don't have what they have...

In IRL

i am also a med student, single, kinda lonely at this time of the year...

it's probably different cos you are a girl but, as a guy, i think us medics (assuming u are a medic from the replies) think too much.

we tend to be too much of a perfectionist even when it comes to relationships. being a perfectionist at studying, practice is all fine but, in my opinion, social interatctions and male+female relationship-wise, perfectionism is the KILLER!

perfectionism + thinking too much gets you nowhere.

as i've said, it's a little bit different cos you are a girl but I would suggest you make the first move on a few occasions. don't have to make it obvious, maybe kinda smile at guys that you find attractive?

i personally wouldnt be turned off by a hot+smart girl (assuming you are), but i know some guys would be. don't bother with the guys who are scared by your smartness, there will be plenty that will be turned on by it. speaking for myself, smartness is one of the hugest turn-ons in a girl (after looks of course, though )

anyways let us know how you get along.:cool:

Crash

I think most people experience this to an extent - in general i'm not my usual happy self around christmas time anyhow, but i know theres a part of me that especially around this time misses someone close to me. its not the be all and end all though - gets you down from time to time but it can be pushed over.

also only recently i've come very very much to agree with miss fluff on the "embrace singledom and be patient" comment - kinda become sick of just random women on a night out kinda deal - really not my style and overall it was compensation for things - much easier just to let things roll and see how they go

Sangre

BEAT wrote:

not to worry, all us singletons feel this way more around the holidays...

No we don't. Speak for yourself.

If you're unhapppy being single than you're unhappy with yourself. That really is the problem and not your lack of a boyfriend imo.

Use your time as a single to maximise the time spent with family and friends over the holiday period.

fischerspooner

enjoy it while you can. You can get as drunk as you like, sleep with whoever you want, do whatever you want, without having to listen to the nagging of your other half. Some day you'll fall in love and the gates of relationship misery will slowly open to reveal a life of staleness and crap sex. I envy you!

akw_old

SebtheBum wrote:

Make sure you go out with someone because you really want to, and not cos you fear the alternative.

while I agree with this, I wouldn't hold back either. going out doesn't have to lead to anything, can just be a laugh, and if there is more good. If not so be it.

seriously, lets go out?! i know a good italian in dun laoirghe.

LegacyUser

You guys!! Don't make it sound so easy to score on a weekend!!

First of all, I am male, and it's not as easy as it looks. Secondly, it is not everyone's cup of tea eating the face off a stranger that you have just met 5 minutes ago.

Some of you guys make it sound like Panda should have fun scoring as many guys as possible on the weekend!!

White Rabbit

Dude for girls it really is that easy, especially if your as good looking as Panda.

Actually I'd go so far as to suggest it would be more difficult for her not to score on a night out than do so.

Whether that's what she wants only she can decide.

akw_old

girls have it so much better.

White Rabbit

Nope, pretty girls have it better

panda100

thanks for the advice-its good to know that im not the only one who is sorta wishing xmas was over before its begun and dont get me started on new years.....
I suppose im just sick of the single 'fun' life. Except one or two relationships i've been enjoying singledom since i was 18 (now 23),i've always embraced it and enjoyed my freedom. I totally disagree with sangre-just because i want to meet someone doesnt make me unhappy within myself. I am quite contented in myself. However,I am the youngest of five in my family, and its really tough when year after year all your other sisters are bringing home their boyfriends around on xmas eve and have great plans for new years and im the one left out again. There's a lot of guys i do think i quite like in college that id be good friends with but no asks me out or trys to kiss me on nights out,which happens to all the other girls in college,and these girls would be far better looking then i am so i dont think its cos im out of a guys league-i chuckled when i read that one white rabbit. whenever i make the first move,as i am usually the one who has to instigate things i always make an eejit of myself.

BEAT

Sangre wrote:

No we don't. Speak for yourself.

sorry Sangre, I forgot you were the exception to every rule :rolleyes:
feeling lonley on the holidays does not mean you are unhappy with yourself ffs, Im perfectly happy...so speak for yourself in that matter. The fact of the matter is, single or not, people do generally feel down at this time of year...being with your family helps if you have any.

joejoem

Ah panda thats sad, alot of people are like that. I have never had a parter at Christmas. I dont know why, its funny at this stage. If I am seeing someone before hand it seems to end in November! Yeah it can be hard but you just gotta toughen up and realise its just another day! Soon you wont even be able to remember what it was like being alone on Christmas.


Me? I will be married, but separated every year from the 20th of december to the 5th of January

panda100

joejoem wrote:

Ah panda thats sad, alot of people are like that. I have never had a parter at Christmas. I dont know why, its funny at this stage. If I am seeing someone before hand it seems to end in November! Yeah it can be hard but you just gotta toughen up and realise its just another day! Soon you wont even be able to remember what it was like being alone on Christmas.


Me? I will be married, but separated every year from the 20th of december to the 5th of January

ahhh that is the cutest picture ever-really cheered panda up!:)

joejoem

panda100 wrote:

ahhh that is the cutest picture ever-really cheered panda up!:)

I aim to please. I see your UCD via limerick, on the subject of Christmas, I will be spending Christmas in a hotel in Limerick so I can be close to my sick Gran in hospital. Christmas day in a hotel, wierd!!!

Sangre

BEAT wrote:

sorry Sangre, I forgot you were the exception to every rule :rolleyes:

No you forgot that you don't speak for every single person in the world. I'm really offended by the 'rolleyes' aswell. Cutting sarcasm there, Jimmy Carr ain't got nothing on you.

BEAT wrote:

feeling lonley on the holidays does not mean you are unhappy with yourself ffs, Im perfectly happy...so speak for yourself in that matter. The fact of the matter is, single or not, people do generally feel down at this time of year...being with your family helps if you have any.

Well I did say 'imo' although you were clearly too blinded by indignation rage that I implied you were unhappy with yourself.

If you're perfectly happy with your friends and family why are you lonely? Why are do you need someone else to complete your happiness?

Some general musings you might put to yourself panda. Maybe any unhappiness is deep down, too deep down to notice on the surface.

Is there something on your mind that is bothering you e.g exams, family? Maybe you think you could get this all off your chest or you could deal with it better if you had someone? A problem shared is a problem halfed after all.
Just wondering why you feel this way.

On the lack of dates front..do people go on dates anymore? I'd certainly never ask someone on a date I hadn't even kissed before..if even.
Also you might be a classic 'friend girl' that all the guys becomes friends with and nothing more. In my experience this is because you're not flirting obviously enough or not at all. Guys see this non-flirting as non-threatening and they see you as one of the guys so you only ever become friends.
So...eh flirt more.

But this is all just musings on a few sentences, I don't know you.

sobriquet

Well, not that I needed it, but you've cheered me up: all I can think of is that lame Sexual Harassment Panda in South Park - "I'm a saaad panda." Having trouble reconciling that image of a middle aged guy in a panda suit with a 23yo blond medicine student though, it's rather... incongruous.

I've been single basically forever, for various reasons. Somehow, and maybe it's just me, I've never felt lonely, that I 'should' have someone to be with. Maybe I just don't know what I'm missing, but I think it's more that I don't feel there's a gap to be filled. I've close friends, my family are pretty close, so even if I'm useless with women romantically it's not like that leaves a void in my life.

As I see it, I've endless opportunities. I'm about to drop out of my career to go and do something else completely. No idea what though. We could all find something to fixate on and pin our general unhappiness upon. By definition you'll 'miss' something that isn't there, but it's a matter of perspective. That something that isn't there could be a positive thing if you choose to look at it that way. Sounds all self-helpy, but I think it's basically true.

Preset No.3

Being single aint that bad! Means you have more time to look at porn and wonder are girls really like that!!:eek:

Im purposely picked the short straw and am working Xmas eve and Xmas day! For those who like being with their familes and SO.

akw_old

how many times do i have to ask you out before a reply?!
you're on about not getting asked out, you don't reply. c'mon!

Vegeta

I was seriously tempted just to say "Bitch needs to get laid" but thats not very constructive now is it.

My advice is; if at first you don't succeed don't give up. Practice makes perfect and various other hallmark moments. hey I am going out with someone for ages (she is amazin) and I still get down at this time of year.

To sum up there's no point suffering on your own meet up with your single mates (if they're fellas great) and just have fun over the xmas. Its a celebration, enjoy yourself!

DawnMc

It's not all that great. This is my first year actually going out with someone for Christmas and it's not been going fab. We had a great time last nite but god knows, I'll see him once before xmas and thats that! No fun really!

py2006

You know what I was thinking. All us single people should meet up and go for a few drinks some night. We would have a great laugh.

Although, I think most of us are guys though!!! :eek:

dundalk cailin

well i feel the same as you OP, except im not tallm slim and blond, just dark haired kinda average height

never had a serious relationship, realy feel like im missin out

got back home and found out the 2 guys i like are dating girls now...feel kinda depressed cos my friends have new people round and are going out with them, not me... ah well cant win em all (or any)

Sleepy

So, humour me, how many PM's have you had asking you out at this stage Panda?

Crash

*closes pm's windows and decides not to*

phew that was a close one sleepy - dont like girls where theres competition like

joejoem

py2006 wrote:

You know what I was thinking. All us single people should meet up and go for a few drinks some night. We would have a great laugh.

Although, I think most of us are guys though!!! :eek:

and ugly

panda100

no pm's:(
you see even on the net the guys stay away!!!

joejoem

picture of my penis en-route

joejoem

Hmmm must have fainted









lol now she really is the sexual harassment panda!

440Hz

White Rabbit wrote:

Dude for girls it really is that easy

That is total crap - I'm sorry but it is. You cannot generalise like that. I am female and I never meet people, not for the want of trying. I know exactly how Panda feels except I am not lucky enough to get such a glowing description as she got. The only time a guy is ever interested in me is when we have been friends for a while cos I'm a fairly sound person (at least thats what Im told) but I'm not exactly a head-turner. So noone ever comes along in a pub/club etc. The problem there being as Im sure loads of you know that once it gets to the 'mates' stage it often too late anyway.

Christmas is my favourite time of the year but it can be really lonely. Firstly it makes me think of the times when I did have someone special, and you can't escape couples at all at this time of the year.

There are 3 girls in my family (including me) and both of my sisters bring home their partners at Christmas, which means that I am surrounded all through the holidays by happy couples, I cant even escape it in my own home. Dont get me wrong im delighted my sisters are so happy but it does make me feel lonely too.

Anyway, I really hope you enjoy the season Panda, and just remember half the country feels the same way for various reasons. As you pointed out already. Everyone misses someone and feels lonely at this time of year.

Happy Christmas to all, and chin up. Enjoy it.

foggy

Panda,
Lots of people feel down at christmas, it sometime has to do with remembering the sad things that happened during the year. My gran died this year and it will be lonely without her.

Also, you are only 23. This is my first christmas where i will be going out with anyone (i'm now 28), can't say i ever got too depressed about it.
At least you're saving money not having to buy a present.

The right person will come along some day, for this christmas why not have have some fun checking out mr. right now.

Laguna

I'm single, it's christmas, I couldn't give a ****. Why do people feel more lonely at this time of the year?, just because of the imposed 'Christmassyness' sentiments that ads show on T.V., couples cosying up to each other, what a load of old ****!, Christmas is so commercial now, it has lost any meaning it may have had for me.

Everyone knows that Christmas is the time where the most momentous rows with family & partners happen!.. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire - my ringpiece.

fischerspooner

My girlfriend goes home on friday for 2 weeks leaving me alone for christmas. I'm really looking forward to it though, having some time on my own. I can lie on the couch drinking as much as I want, without the fear of nagging. I don't know why some people become so dependent on their other halves...

panda100

440Hz wrote:

That is total crap - I'm sorry but it is. You cannot generalise like that. I am female and I never meet people, not for the want of trying.

There are 3 girls in my family (including me) and both of my sisters bring home their partners at Christmas, which means that I am surrounded all through the holidays by happy couples, I cant even escape it in my own home. Dont get me wrong im delighted my sisters are so happy but it does make me feel lonely too.

Anyway, I really hope you enjoy the season Panda, and just remember half the country feels the same way for various reasons. As you pointed out already. Everyone misses someone and feels lonely at this time of year.

Happy Christmas to all, and chin up. Enjoy it.

Cool 440Hz-i suppose its the whole sisters and family thing that gets me down .I think my family must think i cant attract anyone cos I never have brought a boyfriend home or anything and my sisters always do. Anywho,it is quite funny cos the little red graphy thing on my pm's inbox has shot up:) ! christmas doesnt seem as daunting now that us singles and attatched alike do feel a tad lonely round this time of year,and so im not the only one.

Nick_oliveri

Single for two years now. {takers please call 1850 60 90 90}
Before which i would have thought i was doin alright.
I NEVER go out though which could be a main factor.
Thought id get me the nice college girl with the ghetto booty, i thought wrong.
I havent fallen into the desperation spiral yet, which is strange. But this christmas i shall be lonely, but thats just another present i dont have to think about i suppose. And i have gotten really skinny after the ecstacy(wont be taking that agian for a while)/not eating properly/too stoned to make food. Over six foot and onlt 10 stone, id imagine thats wrong. I feel kinda uncomfortable around noo people anyways.
Could be in for the long haul.

McGinty

I guess Christmas can feel like Valentines for us singletons. I've been single for two years, but I don't mind most of the time. I am beginning to think I live in a bubble because I haven't noticed cosy couples, then again the lead up to Christmas for me is very hectic. Like one of the earlier posters if I have been in a relationship near Christmas it tends to end, so I'm grateful I'm single at this time of year, because at least I don't have to deal with a break up. Mind you, Christmas is a strange time of year, the expectations are so damn high, forget those damn expectations, let them go. Let go of the desire to be with someone, and you will be happy, also ironacally, you'll probabaly meet someone. Now I just need to take my own advice.

White Rabbit

440Hz wrote:

That is total crap - I'm sorry but it is. You cannot generalise like that. I am female and I never meet people, not for the want of trying. I know exactly how Panda feels except I am not lucky enough to get such a glowing description as she got.

Nonsense. If a girl goes out to pull, she pulls.
If you're as hot as Panda it takes barely a nod to a guy and he'll follow, no questions asked. If you're not so lucky in the looks dept then it might take a bit conversation and perhaps a lean in for a kiss.
Most guys will take anything they're given, unless they're nervous (and many are).

440Hz wrote:

The only time a guy is ever interested in me is when we have been friends for a while cos I'm a fairly sound person (at least thats what Im told) but I'm not exactly a head-turner. So noone ever comes along in a pub/club etc. The problem there being as Im sure loads of you know that once it gets to the 'mates' stage it often too late anyway.

Not true. I don't know any guy who'd differentiate between a female friend a potential (if unlikely) partner UNLESS SHE's A COMPLETE LOOPER (but they're fun too).