What will I do with my life? -- please read!

Dave!

[warning: this is kind of long]


Hey guys,

I'm a little all over the place lately... I'm starting to feel like I'm wasting my life! I'm 17 (18 in a month), and I'm in my first year in college, studying computer science and history. But the thing is, I don't want to study computers or history... I don't want to be in college, full stop! I'm just not enjoying it, I don't know anybody, and college seems to be geared towards exams, just like the leaving cert. So I find myself in a situation where I'm gonna have exams after every semester (every 3 or 4 months) and I'm gonna have to be doing assignments and everything in between.

I just feel like I'm wasting my time being here... I'll come out with a qualification, but other than that, nothing! I don't particularly want to do anything computer-related, the only thing I might do is web-design -- I could build a few websites if I get good ideas -- but we don't actually do that in college! I already know it and can keep teaching myself from books/internet if I need it. I'm also interested in maybe starting some sort of business... I get the odd idea for a product or something, but it's already been done; but I'm only young, I'm sure in the future I'll get more ideas. Another thing I'd be more likely to do is join the police or fire brigade, or army, or anything like that! I want my life to be more exciting than building computer programs, or working in the civil service. As far as I know, none of that needs a college degree.

I'm not entirely sure what I want to do with my life (career-wise), those are just ideas. But what I want to do is travel. I want to quit college, get a job here, work for maybe a year until I have enough money to move abroad, to Australia or somewhere, and have enough to support myself until I'm able to get a job there. That's what I want to do! And then maybe move somewhere else and live there for a while... I don't want to stay in Ireland -- that's for certain.

But there's a few problems... For one, I think I'm too young to do anything. When you think of people backpacking around Oz or somewhere, it's generally 20-somethings at least. I'm only turning 18 -- am I too young for this? I mean, if I go to America, I won't even be able to drink! (i.e. I'm still considered a kid)

One last thing... my mother. Basically she's got my life picked out for me, and it feels impossible to get out of it! She's been asking me for years now, what kind of frame I want my graduation picture to have. She wants me behind a desk, somewhere safe (I'm not allowed become a garda), earning lots of money... cos that's what happiness is about. I know, talk to her about it... but she's not exactly the most rational of people. I'm thinking about talking to my dad about this, though.

I can't stand it here in Ireland, and I want to escape.

So basically, I've got all of these big plans for my life, although they're sketchy at best, but there's some things tying me down... and I don't know what to do... I could be unhappy for the next 4 years and then go do what I want. The degrees might help me (would they, do you think? I don't want any specialised job until I'm finished travelling, etc.), but is it worth 4 years to do it? I also know that I may want the qualifications at a later stage in my life, and then I'd have to pay for it... but is that a big deal? If I need it, I'll get it, if I don't, I won't. Getting the degrees now would be good insurance, but at what cost?

Anyways, I could be unhappy for 4 years and then do what I want. Or I might start enjoying college and have 4 years of fun, then go do what I want. Or I could drop out now, do what I want... and take my chances.

Has anyone got any comments or advise? I'd appreciate it aLOT, this has been driving me mad for a few weeks now

Thanks guys

[sorry for the length]

P.S., I tried posting this twice without logging in, but it's not showing up, so I'll just post it anyways... Mods, you can delete the other ones if they decide to show up for some reason! :v:

[edited]

Atrocity

If you are sure you don't want to be in college, and you sound sure, then quit. I hated college and hated my course and still did it for three years. I only just quit last week, and I feel better already. People say that everyone needs a degree or qualification, and while it is important, it's not the end of the world. You should make a go of something that really interests you and at the very least, take some time out to figure out what you want to do. There's no point staying in college if you really can't stand it.

But what I want to do is travel. I want to quit college, get a job here, work for maybe a year until I have enough money to move abroad, to Australia or somewhere, and have enough to support myself until I'm able to get a job there. That's what I want to do! And then maybe move somewhere else and live there for a while... I don't want to stay in Ireland -- that's for certain.

that sounds like an excellent idea. You should go for it, life's too short to be stuck doing something you hate.

condra

Hey Dave.

Im 25 and I still dont know what I want to do with my life!
I dont think you should feel under so much pressure at 17 or 18 [or any age come to think of it]

In my opinon your mum is having far too much influence on your life.
Didnt you rebel in your teens?
Did your mum push you to study hard nd get a good leaving cert?
A close friend of mine has had her life sculpted by her mother and she is now a successfull classical musician, but Im unsure about how happy she is in herself.

I think you should set your mother straight. Reassure her that whatever you do, you will be fine, but that you would rather be happy.

You could always quit college. SHOCK HORROR! No not really. College isnt for everyone, especially if youre not enjoying it and youre not interested in the subject youre studying. Personally that sounds like fcuking torture.

Doing college doesnt mean youre set up for life just like not doing college doesnt mean you wont have a successfull career. Dont forget you can go to college at any stage in your life, and there are plenty of other training options these days like aprenticeships, PLCs, FAS courses, private courses, part-time courses, in-company training etc.

Dont forget, many of the other education options are far less exam orientated. I did a 6 month full time web design course in Dorset College. There were about 15 of us in the class and everyone was very friendly- there were no clicky groups. I also learned a lot and made some great friends.

What hobbies do you have?
You say youre into web design but not mad about programming. Are you a creative and imaginative person? Would you consider something like graphic and web design? Maybe something like multimedia or advertising. There are courses in the UK in game development, that would be a new education direction and also see you doing some travel.
These are quite tough industries but if youre talented and genuinly interested theres no reason why you wont do well.

Regarding travelling. I dont think you will find many people who regret spending some time in USA/UK/OZ. I spent 4 months in the canaries at 19 and, apart from doing too much nose candy, I hav no regrets. It was what some people would call a great "life experience".

This may sound like a kop-out, but trust me when I say things will get better. As you get older and out of your teens you will naturally become more confident and making friends will be easier. You also become far more comfortable in your own skin and will worry less about superficial things.
Also, as far as I know your acne problems will most likely calm down as you grow older.

More importantly though, please dont worry too much, its the worrying that will drive you nuts. You have nothing to worry about. Youre young and have youre prime ahead of you for the next 10 years.

Dont do something that makes you unhappy. Not even for your mother. She obviously loves and cherishes you and wants you to be successfull and happy, but if youre unhappy in college - tell her. And if you want to leave college dont let anyone stop you.

Gone West

youre too young to drink here, too.

In any case, its a case of the grass being greener...
Im 18, I've been to the states. its ok.
Ive to oz, its ok.
Ive been to most of europe, its pretty good.
Ireland, however is much better.
Life is what you make of it.
College is especially what you make of it. Where are you studying?

Gaz25

hey, i think everyone has being in your position. I know was and im still not 100% what i want to do. The end of the day its your life and only you can really decide what you wanna to do with. I would suggest you sit down with your family and have a serious chat and tell them how you feel. The end of the day college isn't for everybody and most just because they feel there being left behind and feel they have to do something with there lives. Ibet you know loads of people who have droped out of college? when i was there people were droping like flys and going to do different course;s the following year. I think you feel your missing out on something prob the best years of your life and believe me they are. When i was that age i had a part-time job and was going out 3 night's every weekend meeting girls and going on holidays and i agree everyone says its the best time of your life. I had a great time from18-21 but its slowed down since and you grow up and that, but i still go out now and have a laugh. I bet if you asked this country 90% would change what there doing today.

The best thing to do if your not happy is to leave and get a job and decide what you wanna do. I would say try get a trade as a carpanter, plumbing or a spark, im sure you will enjoy something like. When your finished your trade you can travel and work at the same time.

But don't stay in collegejust for the sake of it, tell your ma + da your just not happy and want to take a year out to decide.

Best of luck

Amazotheamazing

Only you can make yourself happy. Why spend time being unhappy, particulary if there's no joy at the end of it?

rainbow kirby

Just think about what would make you happiest... and do it! If you're genuinely unhappy in college, there's no point in sticking out a course you're not enjoying. One of the worst things I ever did was sticking out an extra year in a course I hated, when I knew I wanted to change. Not only did I feel like I wasted a year, but it means I'll have to pay about 6k for college next year because of that. And you're young, enjoy it!

JellyfishFields

I think you should leave college. You're only in first year so it's not a big deal to leave at this stage. Take the rest of the year off. Keep learning web-design in your spare time as a hobby.

It seems you'd prefer more creative jobs as opposed to Dilbert-style office jobs. Use your extra free-time to pursue other interests -- maybe computer graphics or photography.. or start to learn a new language as a first step to travelling the world. If you find a hobby you really enjoy you can easily turn it into a career.

If your mother is to controlling of you should sit down and have a talk with her (or write a carefully-worded letter seeing as she's the irrational type -- Incidently, what you've written here in this thread would make a great template for the letter!). At the end of the day it's your life, and you should do what you want to do with it. Don't live an unhappy life just because you don't want to upset your mother!

Zillah

Dont be afraid to drop out of college if its not working. I did a course for two months, decided I didnt like it and quit. Family screamed bloody murder about how I was ruining my life and how irresponsible I was etc.

Same time a year later I was two months into a differnt course that I loved. In second year now and I could not be happier with my course. I'd probably be suicidal by now If I forced myself to stick with the first one.

Dont be afraid of change and don't be afraid to go against the grain. Ultimately only you know what'll make you happy.

TempestSabre

If I was 18 again, I do what the hell I liked for a couple of years. Age is no restriction. Its an excuse.

embraer170

Big question: Why did you pick your course? Did you want to do it or did you just land in it by accident (down the list of CAO choices?). Makes a difference.

A lot of people are telling you to just leave college, I would tell you to give it another few months. Finish the first semester (or maybe the first year), do the exams and see how you feel after them.... you don't have a lot to lose and it's better than leaving mid-year.
I absolutely hated my course in first year and came really close to not continuing into second year. I'm in third year now and couldn't be happier.

Is your problem the course or rather the exam/project pressure? The latter is something you'll learn to deal with (passing your first semester/year exams is a great boost to confidence) and is in itself not a reason to drop out. Arguably there will be more pressure in whatever job you do.

I'm sure there's a career guidance counselor you can talk to in your college. As everyone else says leaving your course is no big deal, you're young. I would add that is as long as you leave it for the right reasons and have a firm plan in mind. Reading your post, I'm not convinced of either.

I'm also interested in maybe starting some sort of business... I get the odd idea for a product or something, but it's already been done; but I'm only young, I'm sure in the future I'll get more ideas. Another thing I'd be more likely to do is join the police or fire brigade, or army, or anything like that! I want my life to be more exciting than building computer programs, or working in the civil service. As far as I know, none of that needs a college degree.

A college degree sure helps many of those things.

***

Another question. Does your course allow you to spend a semester/year abroad on ERASMUS? Might be worth going to your college's international education office and asking. Would give you something to look forward to and satisfy your desire to get out of Ireland for a while.

LegacyUser

OP, I can relate to a lot of the issues you've mentioned in your post, particularly about your longing "...to escape", and your trouble communicating with your mother. I've felt the very same things, and they had been driving me mad too, for quite a long time. So I decided to do something about it, and on a friend's advice, arranged an appointment with a psychotherapist.
It has helped immensely, even only after a couple of sessions, to talk to someone who is open, willing to listen, and understanding. You would probably be as apprehensive of this suggestion as I was initially, due to the stigma attached with going to see a mental health professional. But it was the best decision I've ever made, and I offer you this advice in good will.
Should you choose to persue this route, you can locate a psychotherapist in your locality here. Best of luck.

claireoby

embraer170 wrote:

Is your problem the course or rather the exam/project pressure? The latter is something you'll learn to deal with (passing your first semester/year exams is a great boost to confidence) and is in itself not a reason to drop out. Arguably there will be more pressure in whatever job you do.

Completely agree with embraer170 here. I didnt like my course last year in first year...but after I passed my exams in June...it was like an unbelievable accomplishment. It gave me the interest and the belief in myself to continue on the course. I adore it this year.

I came to a point last year aswell like you, I was 17, life wasnt turning out the way I had imagined and college was nothing like I thought it would be. I thought college was fun, and partying all the time. And it is, but you have to do all the hard stuff like studying aswell. I truely believe that life is what you make of it and over the summer I decided that if my life wasnt the way i wanted it to be then i'm the only person who can change it. For me that meant living in a new place and getting more involved in societies and stuff.

But if you are truely unhappy in your course then get out. But I dont know, youth is on your side...you could do this degree..then go travelling and then do another degree!! There are so many options in life.

Baraboo

Hi Dave

If its any Help I'm 42 and still don't know what I am going to do when I grow up.

One thing though if I had been given a chance to go to college I would have picked a course that really interested me and done it rather than one that would have given me a good career. If you can make a career out of what is interesting so much the better.

Best of all of course is to find a well paid hobby..

Dont allow other people to make career choices for you based on what they would have wanted to do.

It is way more important that you enjoy your job than you have a good job, good pay or whatever.

Mickah

Are you sure you're unhappy with the course? Or is it just the college and living at home/Ireland?

I did the same as yourself, hated college in Ireland and living with my parents. Thank god I figured it out though, I went to England and studied Computer Science there and enjoyed every minute of the 4 years.

Make sure you identify exactly what is making you unhappy. Is it

1: The college itself (students included)?
2: The course?
3: Being in college fullstop?
4: Living at home?
5: Living in Ireland?

Once you make up your mind about what exactly it is, just rectify it. Easy as.

P.S. Uni in England is a piece of p!ss and the birds are gagging!

P.P.S You are never too young to do anything

P.P.P.S You actually need to be 18 to travel and enjoy it properly (beer, adult, consent n' ****). I was travelling for the year just gone, loads of 18 year olds!

turbot

Hmmm.....

My suggestion is this:

While you are in university, you get pretty long summer holidays, that are 3 -4 months in duration.

Even if you are not enjoying college, it's still a good idea that you really make the most of yourself while you are there. If you kick-ass during the year, firstly college is more satisfying and secondly, you can be organised enough to go travelling for 3+ months every summer. This gives you something to look forward to, and by keeping yourself busy, you'll have less time to be bored, and more worthwhile things to fill your life up with.

To achieve this, you can't just be a bum (even though that might be fun... for a while)...

So I suggest:
- Read about nutrition and decide you are going to be really healthy (people who eat better feel better). A great book to read is "The optimum nutrition bible", by Patrick Holford.
- Get really fit and healthy; in your college there must be some sports you like you can train in regularly. Exercise combined with good nutrition means you'll probably enjoy everything more *and* your social life / personal relationships will get better as a result.

If you minimise the amount you drink / maximise your level of health, you'll have more energy and you'll be able to get more done (feeling better as you do).

Then I suggest you get busy:
- Get a job where you can earn *and* learn at the same time. Hopefully if you are smart, you'll be able to save up enough to travel with. It's much better overall to travel on the money you've earned in advance.
- Realise if you are smart about how you learn, you don't have to spend that much time learning in college.
- Join different student societies and do lots of stuff you haven't done, be it drama / debating / photography / mountaineering. There are loads of intervarsity events you can participate in. These are social and fun.
- Read a lot. A great book is "Change your Life in 7 days" by Paul McKenna
- Go to concerts / weekends away / camping when it's warm

I suspect your situation with your mum is pretty suffocating to you personally. Maybe you should talk about this with her... Tell her you know she wants what's best for you, but she has to accept you have to find that for yourself, and you want her support. Alternatively, you could just rebel.

Perpahps most importantly, by treating people well and respecting yourself as you do this, you'll probably get to surround yourself with better people. Don't underestimate how much pleasure the right relationship could being you in your life also.

Good luck!

Dave!

Atrocity wrote:

If you are sure you don't want to be in college, and you sound sure, then quit. I hated college and hated my course and still did it for three years. I only just quit last week, and I feel better already.

Oh really! What course was it? What are you gonna do with your life now? You working or going back to a different course? You gonna travel?

womoma wrote:

In my opinon your mum is having far too much influence on your life.
Didnt you rebel in your teens?
Did your mum push you to study hard nd get a good leaving cert?

Doing college doesnt mean youre set up for life just like not doing college doesnt mean you wont have a successfull career. Dont forget you can go to college at any stage in your life, and there are plenty of other training options these days like aprenticeships, PLCs, FAS courses, private courses, part-time courses, in-company training etc.

Dont forget, many of the other education options are far less exam orientated. I did a 6 month full time web design course in Dorset College. There were about 15 of us in the class and everyone was very friendly- there were no clicky groups. I also learned a lot and made some great friends.

What hobbies do you have?
You say youre into web design but not mad about programming. Are you a creative and imaginative person? Would you consider something like graphic and web design? Maybe something like multimedia or advertising. There are courses in the UK in game development, that would be a new education direction and also see you doing some travel.
These are quite tough industries but if youre talented and genuinly interested theres no reason why you wont do well.

Regarding travelling. I dont think you will find many people who regret spending some time in USA/UK/OZ. I spent 4 months in the canaries at 19 and, apart from doing too much nose candy, I hav no regrets. It was what some people would call a great "life experience".

This may sound like a kop-out, but trust me when I say things will get better. As you get older and out of your teens you will naturally become more confident and making friends will be easier. You also become far more comfortable in your own skin and will worry less about superficial things.
Also, as far as I know your acne problems will most likely calm down as you grow older.

More importantly though, please dont worry too much, its the worrying that will drive you nuts. You have nothing to worry about. Youre young and have youre prime ahead of you for the next 10 years.

Dont do something that makes you unhappy. Not even for your mother. She obviously loves and cherishes you and wants you to be successfull and happy, but if youre unhappy in college - tell her. And if you want to leave college dont let anyone stop you.

Great post Thanks alot. Yeah she is having too much influence on my life... I'm gonna have to sort it out.

FuzzyLogic wrote:

youre too young to drink here, too.

In any case, its a case of the grass being greener...

College is especially what you make of it. Where are you studying?

Yeah for a month...

Well I think it's more out of curiosity than that... I don't wanna stay in Ireland for the rest of my life, I want to see different places, and Oz is a good place to start.

I'm studying computer science and history.

Gaz25 wrote:

The end of the day college isn't for everybody and most just because they feel there being left behind and feel they have to do something with there lives. Ibet you know loads of people who have droped out of college? when i was there people were droping like flys and going to do different course;s the following year. I think you feel your missing out on something prob the best years of your life and believe me they are. When i was that age i had a part-time job and was going out 3 night's every weekend meeting girls and going on holidays and i agree everyone says its the best time of your life. I had a great time from18-21 but its slowed down since and you grow up and that, but i still go out now and have a laugh. I bet if you asked this country 90% would change what there doing today.

I don't actually know anyone who's dropped out -- that's probably another reason why I'm reluctant to! Everyone else will be in college enjoying themselves and I'll be left behind...! But I suppose if I moved abroad, then I could still be enjoying myself.

Did you go to college from 18-21? I can't establish that from your post! Thanks alot

JellyfishFields wrote:

I think you should leave college. You're only in first year so it's not a big deal to leave at this stage. Take the rest of the year off. Keep learning web-design in your spare time as a hobby.

It seems you'd prefer more creative jobs as opposed to Dilbert-style office jobs. Use your extra free-time to pursue other interests -- maybe computer graphics or photography.. or start to learn a new language as a first step to travelling the world. If you find a hobby you really enjoy you can easily turn it into a career.

Yeah that's right, I'd rather be using my hands and doing something physical than analysing code or something! With the jobs I mentioned earlier, you're doing something different every day, too... I'd hate to come in at 9 and have to continue working on some project or something.

Thanks for your post

TempestSabre wrote:

If I was 18 again, I do what the hell I liked for a couple of years. Age is no restriction. Its an excuse.

Well it's just making me reluctant... I mean, if I went backpacking in Oz or somethin, and met up with a load of people and they're all 21-25, and I'm 18 -- they might be like "who's the kid?" and that kinda stuff. I'm sure it's silly, I don't know how it works abroad cos I've not been to many countries.

embraer170 wrote:

Big question: Why did you pick your course? Did you want to do it or did you just land in it by accident (down the list of CAO choices?). Makes a difference.

Is your problem the course or rather the exam/project pressure? The latter is something you'll learn to deal with (passing your first semester/year exams is a great boost to confidence) and is in itself not a reason to drop out. Arguably there will be more pressure in whatever job you do.

I'm sure there's a career guidance counselor you can talk to in your college. As everyone else says leaving your course is no big deal, you're young. I would add that is as long as you leave it for the right reasons and have a firm plan in mind. Reading your post, I'm not convinced of either.

A college degree sure helps many of those things.

***

Another question. Does your course allow you to spend a semester/year abroad on ERASMUS? Might be worth going to your college's international education office and asking. Would give you something to look forward to and satisfy your desire to get out of Ireland for a while.

I picked the course because it was kinda assumed that I was going to college, and that seemed the most appropriate for me. I'm good at computers and enjoy them to an extent, and I'm interested in history. So on paper I should enjoy the course!

It's not actually the pressure that's bothering me -- it's not too bad in that sense. It's just that I'm not learning anything! I feel like it's a waste of time, cos after my first semester, I'm finished 4 history courses that I won't be doing again -- and I know f-all about them! Maybe that's down to my attitude/studying, but I'd be able to pass exams with my miniscule understanding on it. I could read a book and know more than I've learned in the past 4 months!

Basically I thought that college would be different... I thought that we'd be learning for the sheer joy of learning, and gaining an understanding of the world, etc. -- but it's totally different; it's a case of getting essays done quickly (so you can do the other ones that are waiting for you), passing, and then passing your exams -- all for a degree, no knowledge. It feels like a waste of time. I don't have a CHANCE to learn anything in any detail, or understand it, because I've got too much work to get done.

It may help with those things, but it isn't prerequisite, so is it worth wasting 4 years of my life for it?

The course doesn't allow for an erasmus I don't think, but I was talking about taking a J1 visa next summer (after 2nd year), if I do decide to stay in college.

Mickah wrote:

Make sure you identify exactly what is making you unhappy. Is it

1: The college itself (students included)?
2: The course?
3: Being in college fullstop?
4: Living at home?
5: Living in Ireland?

P.P.P.S You actually need to be 18 to travel and enjoy it properly (beer, adult, consent n' ****). I was travelling for the year just gone, loads of 18 year olds!

hmmm... not sure... gotta think about that I guess Thanks

I'll be 18 in a month, so that's good

turbot wrote:

Hmmm.....

My suggestion is this:

......

Good luck!

Thanks for that post, very helpful

Thanks for all the posts, keep them coming!

Atrocity

I was doing law. Hated it from the start. I kept at it because I was told it was madness to come out without a degree. I passed first year, failed second year, repeated second year and passed. Started third year back in October and hated it even more. It was impossible and I just can't study anymore. I got a good Leaving and by the time I got to college I was burned out. I just quit last week. It was a three year course, and I came six months from a law degree, but I don't care. I don't want a career in law, or anything to do with it. I couldn't be bothered doing it any more. It made me miserable all the time and every day felt like a month.

I'm taking some time out now, I might go travelling next summer, I might look for a long term job. Either way, it's not the end of the world. I'll never be earning 2,000 euro a week, but I don't want to.

AARRRGH

DaveMcG. Please, please, please do not leave college. It will be the biggest regret of your life.

Stick with it, get a degree. You'll then have SO MANY OPTIONS which won't exist without a degree.

You will get a better job...
You will always be on better money...
(My favorite) You can stay in college and become an academic (a nice, nice, relaxed life)
You can become a teacher...
You can go live in Japan...
etc etc etc

Really. Find some way to start enjoying college. Study harder. Join more societies. Do whatever it takes.

Please do not leave college. Long term it is totally the wrong thing to do.

Zillah

DublinDude, just because he leaves college doesn't mean he'll never get a degree. I left college because I hated my course, and now im doing a wonderful course that I love.

Victor

Talk to your tutor.

Find something:
you like,
are good at,
will pay your way.

Dave!

Atrocity wrote:

I was doing law. Hated it from the start. I kept at it because I was told it was madness to come out without a degree. I passed first year, failed second year, repeated second year and passed. Started third year back in October and hated it even more. It was impossible and I just can't study anymore. I got a good Leaving and by the time I got to college I was burned out. I just quit last week. It was a three year course, and I came six months from a law degree, but I don't care. I don't want a career in law, or anything to do with it. I couldn't be bothered doing it any more. It made me miserable all the time and every day felt like a month.

I'm taking some time out now, I might go travelling next summer, I might look for a long term job. Either way, it's not the end of the world. I'll never be earning 2,000 euro a week, but I don't want to.

Ah I see You planning on going back to college for a different course or anything? Any ideas for what to do for a career (in a few years or whenever)?

dublindude wrote:

DaveMcG. Please, please, please do not leave college. It will be the biggest regret of your life.

Stick with it, get a degree. You'll then have SO MANY OPTIONS which won't exist without a degree.

You will get a better job...
You will always be on better money...
(My favorite) You can stay in college and become an academic (a nice, nice, relaxed life)
You can become a teacher...
You can go live in Japan...
etc etc etc

Really. Find some way to start enjoying college. Study harder. Join more societies. Do whatever it takes.

Please do not leave college. Long term it is totally the wrong thing to do.

That's certainly a different approach...

-better job -- in computers or something... If I want to be a cop or a fireman or join the army, a degree won't benefit me. Any job I might want doesn't need a degree!
-better money -- not necessarily, but maybe so. If I make a good website or product that takes off, I don't need a degree for that, and I could make a lot of money. Anyways, I could be making a tonne as a lawyer or somethin, but if I don't enjoy it, what's the point?
-academic -- well... that's not something I'd be interested in
-teacher -- again not something I'd be interested in
-Japan -- can't I do that without a degree? lol... once again, not something I'd be interested in tbh.

Thanks for the ideas, though.

As someone else said, if I change my mind and want to go back, I can save for a while, and then go back. What's the big deal?

Victor wrote:

Talk to your tutor.

Find something:
you like,
are good at,
will pay your way.

Do you mean in college, or as a career?

Thanks

Keep the comments coming, thanks

Fajitas!

I agree with going to your tutor...maybe ye can see if you can do something that will interest you more.

Degree's might seem unnessecary for the jobs yer looking at, but they are always a handy backup. You'd never know, college might help you mature a bit more, maybe realise what you really want to do (Not that I'm being in any way self rightious about maturity, I only turned 19 three weeks ago).

Also, if you were going to live in Japan for example, a degree would look alot better for you...just with Visa's etc. Countries usually want people who are qualified. If moving country really interested you, maybe the Erasmus scheme is the way to go? One of my best friends is in Belgium at the moment on it, and she's loving it, a chap I know in college was in America a while back and thought it was great(He was 19 at the time...still too young to drink...legally).

Regarding your mum...I guess she's gonna have to learn that its your life now.

I hope it works out for you, whatever you do Dave

failsafe

I liked turbot's post, I might take on some of the advice myslef!

Personally i disliked my course in 1st year but i'm loving it now. UCD can be a big and lonely place. I have a friend who absolutely hated arts in 1st year, but stuck it out, got a bit more involved in societies etc (is now the auditor of dutchsoc!) and like some of the guys said here, got really into it in second/third year. On the other hand my brother has just dropped out of 1st arts. And that was the choice that was right for him. He didn't put much thought into his cao, and so he's working for the rest of the year then applying to a more specialised course in DLIADT.

Alot of the suggestions for both staying/going are very good, and at the end of the day it's your choice as to which suits you best. But what's stopping you from doing both? Why not stick it out for the rest of the year (you don't seem to be hating it) You can join the FCA (kinda like the reseve army), I have friends in it who absolutely love it. That would give you a taste for that type of career and cover you on the excercise/social front. And then the best part; college summer holidays! Get an interrailing ticket, grow a beard and tell your mom you'll be back in 3 months!

At the end of this you'll have; visited 10 european countries; got a well rounded view of college, making your stay/leave decision better informed; have a taste of what a hands on job would be like.

And that's just the start, lord know's if you dedicated half the time you spend on boards to learning webdesign or looking for a part time job you could earn a decent wage

(p.s. PM me if you want to join dutchsoc or visit the forum)

pretty*monster

Dave, you've mentioned at least twice that you would learn more from reading a book than you would from you're uni course... um, you are aware that you're supposed to read books for your course?

I'm sorry if that's unhelpful.

I had a freind last year who really didn't like 1st arts last year, but she stuck it out made a few friends and if really enjoying it this year.

I want to be a cop or a fireman or join the army, a degree won't benefit me. Any job I might want doesn't need a degree!

AFAIK a drgee will benefit you, in the army certainly your pay and rank would be affected if you had a degree.

Dave!

Hey folks,

sorry to bump my thread again, but just wanted to hear any more advice!

And also I wanted to add that I've a new idea... I've been reading some threads for the past hour about apprenticeships, specificially electrical ones. I've had an interest in electronics for the past couple of years, but with school and college and not having money to buy parts, I've not really been able to sustain the hobby. But I'm beginning to think that an apprenticeship might be a good way to go for me... It meets alot of my criteria anyway:

1- practical, hands-on work
2- not sitting at a desk all day
3- good pay after you finish the apprenticeship
4- you can travel anywhere in the world and they'll need an electrician

I figure I've a decent chance of getting an apprenticeship too... My dad works in the field -- he's actually a technician -- so he might know someone who knows someone who could get me one. My girlfriend's father owns an electrical contracting business, so I'm sure he'd know someone (I don't really want to get an apprenticeship with him because if me and his daughter break up within the 4 years, it might screw it up). And I've done some work on circuits in my spare time, which most (normal) people don't do

Anyone got any thoughts on this?

Thanks for the help

p.s., I haven't had a chance to talk to the parents about leaving college yet... still thinking it over. I'm still too unsure about what to do.

daiixi

Hiya, here's my two cents (for all they're worth)...

I went straight out of high school and to university into a degree which wasn't the one I wanted but the one that my folx said that I'd have the best opportunities with. After a year of hating it I decided to quit uni, get a full time job, and move out of home.. All of which I did within a 2 week period - without discussing with my family mind you!

So I spent the next year having the time of my life taking hardly any responsibility for anything (except for rent/bills) and then the next year saving my arse off so I could go travelling.

I've been away from Australia since April 2002 (was 21) and have been having an awesome time.

I've randomly found myself a career which lets me work anywhere (with no qualificiations - what can I say? Secretaries are loved everywhere) and although I hate my job, I can work anywhere (that speaks English of course) and I get paid decently too.

I'm now 25 and a half and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life.

I know there's places where I want to travel and that one day I'll end up back in Australia but until then I'm enjoying myself and where I am at.

To be honest, you're young. You have the rest of your life to figure out what the hell you want to do and if you make a few mistakes along the way, I hope that you learn from them.

Travel with do nothing but make you a better, stronger and more independant person. There's nothing wrong with that at all.

You can stay at college or do an apprenticeship or travel or drop out of college and work at a dead end job... You have so many options available to you. Just realise that everyone will only want what is "best for you". Your family and friends will have their own ideas but you're the only one who can decide.

You're young and you have the rest of your life to live. Do whatever your gut instints tell you to do. What's the worst that could happen?!

Dave!

Very encouraging post, thanks for that

mikemac

I hated my degree in first year too. I did IT and rapidly lost interest even though I thought it was what I wanted to do.

But employers often don't care what what you're degree is in. I'm working in a completly different area to my degree and am now studying to a second degree part-time. I was always interested in Law and hope to sit the solicitor exams in September.

I think you should stick it out and then apply for whatever area you are interested in.

On the Last Word Show on Today FM this week they said electricians get over €19 an hour. Hmmm.....sounds like a good career move to me.

Best of luck!

daiixi

micmclo wrote:

I was always interested in Law and hope to sit the solicitor exams in September.

Remember that your secretary is going to be your best friend and life line. Treat him/her well

mikemac

daiixi wrote:

micmclo wrote:

I was always interested in Law and hope to sit the solicitor exams in September.

Remember that your secretary is going to be your best friend and life line. Treat him/her well

Apologies.I don't understand

Dave!

^
daiixi is a secretary

mikemac

daiixi wrote:

Remember that your secretary is going to be your best friend and life line. Treat him/her well

Hey, I'm a sound person and would always get on with anyone. So thanks daiixi.

Hobart

Just drop out Dave. Don't worry about career, future, any of that crap. Seriously. I went ot the UK at 16 (after my leaving)many years ago. I travelled the world and only came back to Ireland at 21. I then went to college and did what I wanted and enjoyed. After almost 14 years in straight employment in the same job (7 years running my own successful company) I'm doing it again. I closing up shop and going back to college to study law (just like micmclo). I just want to do it.

My point is, your young, you have your whole life ahead of you, you can go back to college whenever you want. Do it. The world is bigger than Oz and the USA. I spent quite a lot of time in Malaysia and HK. Wonderful wonderful part of the world.

Make the right decision for you man, don't end up 40 full of regrets.

LovelyHurling

Bill Gates quit a similar course at Harvard and built Microsoft, I doubt he regrets it!!

But in case you get too postitive, in life most people tend to regret the things they didnt finish. You dont want to regret not having taken yourn degree when your 50.

Sorry if this post didnt help things at all, its a tough decision, but remember to listen to your head and not just your heart on this one!

pbsuxok1znja4r

Hey Dave, sorry to hear things aren't going as smoothly as planned - here's my advice:

You mentioned you wanted to travel - this will actualy be a lot easier if you have a degree. Places like Australia etc are far easier to get citizenships in if you have a degree or good profession.

If you do drop out of college, I think the army would be a good choice. If you join the army you'd be getting paid for a very stimulating job, and, afaik, the army will pay for your education, i.e. degree in whatever. I'm not 100% about this army stuff so you should check it out yourself, though.

Alternatively, you could try giving the whole musician thing a go, full-time. I've heard some of your recordings and they're pretty good. Just an idea.

Honestly I think you should either stick with your degree or find one that does interest you. You'll still be only 20 having finished your degree and have all the same options plus a fair few more open to you.

Jonny Arson

Good to see that you're more clearer on what you might do Dave.

Go with your instincts. If your not happy with something why stick with it? Dude you're incredibly young and have so much ahead of you. College is not be all and end all. Ok it's is good if you have a degree no denying that but I know plenty of people with degrees who can't get jobs and are unhappy because they spent 3/4 years doing something that will be of little worth to them. I personally have hated every single moment of my time in UCD and I know what a tough tough place it is but in my case the course I'm in is best suited to me and in your case the course isn't your cup of tea so I see little point sticking around unless you want to give the course a chance by finishing the year. Loads of people drop out of college during or after first year and go to other courses, trade or the workforce, it's so common so don't be afraid to do it. Be comfortable with what you want to do and don't be afraid to take a risk.... life is too short.

I would advise you to talk to and make an appointment with the UCD Arts faculty counsellor Aisling O'Grady before you make a final decision. She was great help to me last year when I was thinking about dropping out.

Best of luck

mikemac

If your're unsure what degree to apply for there's a way around this.

I did a two year certificate, a one year diploma and a one year degree.
It's still a four year degree but at least if you drop put after two years you still have a qualification.

Seems a better option than a four year degree in a university.

Although I think HETAC(or is that FETAC) have changed the qualifications, i.e a diploma is an ordinary degree now?

mada999

a good song for this situation is - Are you sure? by Willie Nelson give it a listen...

smashey

Reminds me of myself at that age. I dropped out of college after first year aged 17. Bummed around for a couple of years and did a few courses. Got lucky workwise in the late 1980s when there wasn't much work about. From that went to England to work for 5 years and then to Asia for 6 years. came back to Ireland in 2000. Did a few jobs and last September went back to college as a full time mature student and enjoying it immensely. Now 38 years old. My advice would be follow your instincts. You can get the degree later if you really want.

DIRTY69

hi. I find it a little funny reading your post Dave, because it seems we are pretty much the same situation! :v:

I'm 19, 20 in 2 months. And doing a course I've lost interest for, completely. Business in CIT is no longer for me I can tell you that! If I forced myself to commit to something I didn't want to to I would be restless, and definately in despair. And, in spite of my state of confusion for the future, I'm not.

One reason you might feel that you are wasting you life is that you are surrounded by people or things that are negative. I know my own family are not a positive help to me in spite of their trying. The best thing to do is to distance yourself from this negativity as far as I can see. It has worked for me so far.

I took a year out last year, and I don't regret doing that. Where would I be without it. I am not satisfied with my course, and I'm not going to do do it in the future, so, why would I stay? :v:
Unhappiness should be avoided in life. Don't put up with things or people that make you unhappy. You owe that to yourself


I know that in the past 2 years I have tried on EVERY shoe that i though might fit!! from sailing the high seas with the irish navy, to psychology, to law, to arts, to computers ....you name it!:rolleyes:


I'm not sure what I want to do with my life either tbh. I was mad to get out of the country in since my LCert year but now its not on my mind. I'm satisfied with knowing that I'll plan and go on a decent trip away again soon enough.

I think travel is a very good idea. In some irish bar maybe. I know that time spent outside of your usual surroundings is time spent 'outside of your own head'! Or at least time to think more clearly if you get my meaning. I had only a long weekend away for a big gig in gent, belgium in nov, and its amazing how much i got out of even being away a few days. The Cork-amsterdam flight prob helped as well! :eek:

""One last thing... my mother."" heh! ya, same here man. If I were a more enlightened man I would tell you to 'Distance yourself from the negative energy!'. Works for me.


""I can't stand it here in Ireland, and I want to escape."" Don't be a wimp. Face your fear head on. you will get value from that. DON'T FLEE TO ESCAPE, DO IT TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT THE WORLD AND HENCE ABOUT YOURSELF.

:v:

turbot

Dirty69,

You sound like your paying attention to your world...

My suggestion to you, as you offered decent advice to someone else is to make sure you accumulate as much skill along the way as you go along.
That way, when you realise that by combining excellence with worthwhile pursuits is particularly satisfying (whatever that resolves as for you) you'll be well on your way to doing something good, well, and harnessing lots of good energy in the process.

Instead of just distancing yourself from negative energy, be a conduit of good energy and personal truths, and witness the adventure of how you change the world as you do!

*T

freebird

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back. Always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans :
That the moment one commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would otherwise never have occurred. A whole stream of events ensues from the decision, raising in one's favour all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would come his way.
Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”

W.H. Murray, Scottish Himalayan Explorer (1913-1996)

bonzo82

Like a few people who have replied already, I'd encourage you to just enjoy your youth, I dropped out of college after first year, and have never regretted it for a second. I could have a degree in Marketing today, instead, I've worked in hospitality, and in various office jobs, travelled to Australia and funded those travels completely on my own savings. Working for a couple of years taught me valuable lessons, and I had a ball travelling. It also gave me enough perspective, and enough contact with "the real world" to realise that degrees are not for everyone, and are not necessary for every path in life. I may go back to college some day, but it'll only be to study something I seriously love, not just for the sake of getting a qualification. Like you, I know that a degree is highly unlikely to get me a job that I really love. Of course, I'm a bit of a hippy at heart, and as such, would prefer not to work at all!

So I'd say, maybe stick the year out in college, see if you can find an aspect you enjoy, do your exams, see how you feel after that. At least then you've given it a fair chance. If you do decide to leave, your mum will get over it! Life is longer than you think, it's easy to be panicky and think you have to have it all sorted out by the time you're 20, but really, you're going to be learning and changing for the rest of your life. Don't be afraid to take a few chances!

Good luck!

WhiteWashMan

DaveMcG wrote:

So basically, I've got all of these big plans for my life,

wrong.

you have no plans. you have some vague ideas.

the only reason i can fathom that you dont like university is becuase you have to do some work.

if i were you, id think more about what it is you actually dont like and what you do like, and be honest with yourself.

theres no point in doing something you dont want to do, but at the same time, its stupid to dismiss something because youre lazy.

as for travelling and then getting something to tide you over until you get a career, well, it doesnt work that way. you have to work at a career. they dont fall on you. you cant buy them in a store. and since you have no direction, all you will ever have is a job.

youre young. enjoy your youth. stop thinking about the future. live for now. worry aobut your pension when you leave university. right now, put your lazy head down, do some work, get drunk, have sex have fun.

DIRTY69

thanks T./ worthy advice indeed.

Dave!

Hey folks, bit of an update!

I'm still in college, after much discussion with the parents and siblings I decided to finish the year and see how it goes after that. I still amn't enjoying college as much as I feel I should be, but I'm not walking around depressed most of the day at least. But I still feel as though I'm wasting my time and this is all pointless.

So there's a new plan I'm thinking... what if I take a year out from college? Most people have had good experiences doing this, and I just noticed that DIRTY69, who is in the same boat as me, said that it helped him immensely. I think that I'd benefit from it too. Perhaps why I'm not enjoying college is because I'm fatigued from learning! I mean, surely school, exams, assignments, etc., since you're an infant, until you're in your 20s, isn't good for the soul! Or perhaps I'm just lazier than everyone else, as WWM suggested.
That's not a sin though, and granting myself a year away from it all is not the worst thing in the world, is it?

As it stands I'll be 22 when I graduate, which is still quite young. I was 17 when I started college, whereas my brothers did transition year so they were 18 or 19, and my oldest brother did a masters, so that's more years added on. I don't plan on doing any post-grads, so if I take the year out I'll still only be 23 finishing! A guy I know in my year in college is 22 STARTING, and a fella I know from work, his course is at least 5 years (can't remember actually).

I think this would be the best thing for me at the moment... It would give me a break, some time to think about what I want, and a bit of fun (I haven't exactly spent the past 17 years living it up, heh).

I was planning on working over here for a few months and building up some cash, then going to Australia for a few months. It would probably satisfy my thirst for travelling, at least for a while Then I could come home and more than likely finish my current course, then carry on. I was gonna do the J1 thing next summer too, but we'll see about that.

Gap years are pretty common in the UK, I'd say it's a good stress relief.

So what do ye think? WhiteWashMan?

Thanks for all of ye'r help so far, folks, you've been great

BTW,
don't think I mentioned this, but I sent in the CAO for electrical engineering in Tallaght. It's just a back-up in case tomorrow I decide that's what I wanna do.

chrismon

in my personal oppinion i think you should quit your course,you obviously hate it and it is stressing you out big time! Do exactly what you want,go get a job somewhere like a bar, enjoy working for a year, then go to oz and enjoy life to the fullest. Im only gone 20,training as an electrician, im doing it to get the qualification behind me,as soon as im done im getting out of here. Dont let anybody hold you back. Your only 17,nobody knows what they want out of life, i no i mentioned above about training and getting out of the country, but i dont have a clue what im doing after that and i dont care as long as i enjoy myself and you should do the same!
Gimme a shout in 2 and a half years when im qualified and if you still here, we both go tear Oz up
haha
chris :cool:

chrismon

oopps didnt see your reply above mine :rolleyes:
still my 2cents

TempestSabre

I think you need a time out, see some of the world and see what floats your boat. No point doing something you've no interest in.

Dave!

chrismon wrote:

Gimme a shout in 2 and a half years when im qualified and if you still here, we both go tear Oz up
haha
chris :cool:

I'm afraid you'll be finished before me, but we'll see when I'm finished

What do the rest of ye think of me takin a year out?