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Short jokes (ideal for phones)

  • 03-12-2005 10:39am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,065 ✭✭✭


    I decided to start a thread where people ONLY post jokes that are short and ideal to send to phones.

    Here's a dirty one : -

    Pirate captain: Arrrrrrrrrrrrr, there be buggery aboard this ship.
    There be taste o' $hit o' the first mates pr!ck.:)


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,987 ✭✭✭✭zAbbo


    thats crap


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    Heres another one

    Arrrrr, this thread is crap.

    I forget the punchline.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,065 ✭✭✭Maskhadov


    if you dont have a joke dont post.

    What do you call a fly with no wings?

    A walk.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,065 ✭✭✭Maskhadov


    1. Beauty salons up and down the country are worried about a drop in
    turnover now that the metropolitan police are doing brazilians for
    nothing.


    2. The metropolitan police has also arrested a bus load of thalidomide
    muslims in London yesterday, on small arms charges.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,212 ✭✭✭✭Tom Dunne


    WTF?

    Sorry, really don't get them. :confused:


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,809 ✭✭✭edanto


    Good idea - not mad on your jokes though. Here's one I heard the other night.

    What's E.T. short for?


    So he can fit in his spaceship.


    The best SMS funnies are topical though, like the one this time last year;

    Massive tea-towel sale, contact Mrs. Arafat

    or last January...

    OK and Hello have been scooped for Camilla's wedding photos by Sinn Fein. £34m as long as they get two clear shots...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    edanto wrote:


    Massive tea-towel sale, contact Mrs. Arafat

    now thats a good one liner


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 202 ✭✭Anto and Moe


    Snow White fired from Disneyland after being found, pinochio pinned beneath her, screaming 'lie you bastard, lie!"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,937 ✭✭✭fade2black


    Which Pop Star is best to look after your internet passwords?

    Kenny Log-ins.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,595 ✭✭✭johnnyrotten


    They wont be hanging xmas decorations in Vietnam this year

    They're just hanging GLITTER


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  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 93,596 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    or instead something humourous related to Snow White.

    Guy goes in to a bar and asks for a Snow White's Delight,
    Barman says he doesn't know that coctail
    and the guy says it's -
    7-up 'n' cider.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,959 ✭✭✭Nala


    or instead something humourous related to Snow White.

    Guy goes in to a bar and asks for a Snow White's Delight,
    Barman says he doesn't know that coctail
    and the guy says it's -
    7up

    I don't get it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    Nala wrote:
    I don't get it.
    Snowhite's delight is seven up schwiiiing :D

    Like, what did the dwarfs get upon seeing Snowhite the first time?
    Seven Up!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 81,220 ✭✭✭✭biko


    What does an African Elephant have for lunch?
    An hour, like all the other animals!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 23,092 ✭✭✭✭Esel
    Not Your Ornery Onager


    Get it right. It's 7-up 'n' cider.

    Not your ornery onager



  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 93,596 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    esel wrote:
    Get it right. It's 7-up 'n' cider.
    Thanks that's much better.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,589 ✭✭✭✭Necronomicon


    If somebody texted me some of these jokes I'd find them, and kill them :)


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