Would you rather be heterosexual?

AARRRGH

Hello,

I hope I'm not intruding here

I know the whole concept of a "cure for gayness" is ridiculous, but if there was one (ignore the science etc.) would you have liked it if your parents had injected you with it as a baby?

I know you are probably very happy with your life now, but would you like to have grown up hetero?

Apologies for the weird question. It's something I've always wondered (I live on Georges Street so I'm quite exposed to the gay community.)

PS There is no malice in this post.

Arcadian

No i'm very happy with my life, i have a great partner,good friends, nice home, crap job:D . I don't think being gay made my teenage years any more difficult than if i were str8, there are many things i'd like to change in my past but my sexuality isn't one of them.

BuffyBot

I know the whole concept of a "cure for gayness" is ridiculous, but if there was one (ignore the science etc.) would you have liked it if your parents had injected you with it as a baby?

Would you have liked it if your parents had injected you with a cure for heterosexuality?

AARRRGH

BuffyBot wrote:

Would you have liked it if your parents had injected you with a cure for heterosexuality?

Stop trying to be a PC smartass. My question is valid.

indie

im a young straight woman and i can totally get wat ur trying to say dublin. ive nothing against gay people, i actually enjoy their mental differences, but u do see alot of unhappiness due to their sexuality in some cases not all, but never wanted to probe the question, as i was afraid of being deemed "wrong" or unethical! Fair play x i hope u get ur answers.;)

damien

indie wrote:

i actually enjoy their mental differences, but u do see alot of unhappiness due to them

Lol!

Anyway, I think Dublindude's question is valid. This question was asked before on this forum, possibly by that yellum fella.

I think a lot of gay people feel that being gay has profoundly affected their lives and some seem to think their lives must revolve around their sexuality. Loads of examples of such vapid characters around here. Of that bunch who think sexuality is the core of their being, some have pretty crap lives and so blame all the bad stuff on their sexuality and bemoan that everything would be different if they were straight. Some people think being gay is a handicap and will blame it as being the root cause of everything they don't like about their lives.

Saying that, if people feel they'd be happier being heterosexual then that is fair enough. Some gays would probably think it a betrayal of something or other but in the end it is down to being happy. Not a lot people can do about changing though, despite what the ex-gay brainwashers say.

Jeez, if I was straight I'd be married with 2 kids by now. Scary.

Dublindue, question right back at you, would you have liked to have grown up homosexual?

AARRRGH

damien.m wrote:

Dublindue, question right back at you, would you have liked to have grown up homosexual?

Thanks for the replies so far!

I think my life would be more fun if I was bi-sexual (doing whatever with whoever!) but I know me, I know how destructive I can be, so I think the heterosexual life suits me more (having a nice girl to keep me grounded.)

Also, I think my life is more simple because I am heterosexual.

wheresthebeef

i have to say, i think it would be easier to be straight. its easier to be the same as most people, than it is to be different.
but i wouldnt ever want to change. being gay is a part of who i am. i think it would be stupid to try and remove a part of me because other people might not like it. i am happy as i am. i didnt choose to be gay, and i am not going to try and choose to be otherwise.

BuffyBot

Stop trying to be a PC smartass. My question is valid

So was mine.

AARRRGH

BuffyBot wrote:

So was mine.

You post was tainted with your usual angry response to my posts. I'm aware of how you react to things, so I know you did not type that calmly...

monkeyfudge

How about being injected with a cure for just sexuality in general at birth... that would remove so much hassle from life...

AARRRGH

monkeyfudge wrote:

How about being injected with a cure for just sexuality in general at birth... that would remove so much hassle from life...

Hmmm. I think we do need men and women to have sex to survive though. What would happen if all the women decided to be with women and the men with men????

BuffyBot

You post was tainted with your usual angry response to my posts. I'm aware of how you react to things, so I know you did not type that calmly...

Right.......

indie

did u find something i said funny? i was jus giving an honest opinion i didnt expect to be laughed at

monkeyfudge

dublindude wrote:

Hmmm. I think we do need men and women to have sex to survive though. What would happen if all the women decided to be with women and the men with men????

Oh everything can be done in test tubes these days and baboon wombs can be used as surrogates.

I was really just thinking about Buffybots question about would I like being injected with a cure for hetrosexuality at birth... it didn't sound like that bad a thing as it would have saved from a lot of horrendous relationships with women over the years... Things might be a bit simpler with same sex relationships... but there is just as good a chance that they too would be horrible... so I geuss removing sexuality completely from the equation is for the best.

MicraBoy

I think my life would be more fun if I was bi-sexual (doing whatever with whoever!) but I know me, I know how destructive I can be, so I think the heterosexual life suits me more (having a nice girl to keep me grounded.)

Being bi myself, I think I would have prefered being one way or the other.

indie

maybe but he didnt have to be rude and dismiss it there is no need thank u:mad:

damien

indie wrote:

maybe but he didnt have to be rude and dismiss it there is no need thank u:mad:

LOL.

the_syco

BuffyBot wrote:

Would you have liked it if your parents had injected you with a cure for heterosexuality?

Only if I were a woman:p

Zaph0d

dublindude wrote:

Hmmm. I think we do need men and women to have sex to survive though. What would happen if all the women decided to be with women and the men with men????

A larger IVF industry.

Presumably people who feel unhappy about being gay feel that way because of society's attitudes to them. It never bothered the Greeks.

Goodshape

No. I've had a good and interesting life upto this point, wouldn't want to change anything that might jeapordise that. Who knows where I'd be today if I was "normal".

I am what I is and I is what I am.

snappieT

I hate to say it, but I would like to be normal and have a girlfriend for a while.
Officially speaking, it would be possible (bi) but every girl I know knew from the second they saw me that I was alternative, shall we say.

Boston

Grass is allways greener, and life is allways easier on the other side.

damien.m wrote:

Lol!

I think a lot of gay people feel that being gay has profoundly affected their lives and some seem to think their lives must revolve around their sexuality. Loads of examples of such vapid characters around here.

Like it or not it does have a tendancy to become a major part of you're life. It effects most of the loving relationships you have. It has a way of dictating the friends you have and the people you choose to share your life with.

damien.m wrote:

Of that bunch who think sexuality is the core of their being, some have pretty crap lives and so blame all the bad stuff on their sexuality and bemoan that everything would be different if they were straight. Some people think being gay is a handicap and will blame it as being the root cause of everything they don't like about their lives.

Everybody has to pay the piper, beign gay/bi and straight, all have their costs. It's important to remember that one set of peopel would just be replaced by another.

damien.m wrote:

Some gays would probably think it a betrayal of something or other but in the end it is down to being happy. Not a lot people can do about changing though, despite what the ex-gay brainwashers say.

True, some get angry when you suggest that not everything is will & Grace.

I hate to say it, but I would like to be normal and have a girlfriend for a while.
Officially speaking, it would be possible (bi) but every girl I know knew from the second they saw me that I was alternative, shall we say.

If you truely wanted you could have it. Theres plenty of women that are attracted/curious about whats it would be like. I guess the problem comes from the "Girlfriend" comment.

shay_562

Yeah, I think things would have been a lot easier if I were straight. I wouldn't have had to deal with realising I was different and was going to have a harder life because of it. I wouldn't have spent years agonising over how to tell my friends and family, and knowing that there was a chance they'd turn against me because of it, and then I wouldn't have had to deal with it when the latter happened. I wouldn't have to deal with being told I'm evil and sinful and going to burn in hell on a weekly basis, seeing random people on the news waving around placards saying "God hates fags", hearing people I love make similar comments without even knowing how much it hurt me. I wouldn't have to deal with people yelling abuse at me on the streets for the heinous crime of holding hands with someone I liked.

I'm not trying to be moany here. I know I've got it pretty good compared to a lot of people, and if offered the choice right now, I wouldn't change for the world. Equally, I know that all the awkwardness and pain of being 15 wasn't just down to my sexuality, and that being straight, I'd have had plenty of the same problems. But if I could go back and change it, there's no question - I definitely would.

Boston

And if that ment never loving the people you loved, would you still change yourself. Yea being "not straight" sucks allot of the time, but it's how i found love. And thats what i remind myself of every time the stuff you mentioned happens.

vanessa

i like things the way they are thank you

Zillah

shay_562 wrote:

But if I could go back and change it, there's no question - I definitely would.

You should be stonger than that. You sound so sure of yourself, you've faced so much and stood tall regardless, and still you'd happily go back and give in if you could? It seems like a betrayal somehow, a betrayal of all you went through. You're probably a much better person for it.

Hmm_Messiah

Zillah wrote:

You should be stonger than that. You sound so sure of yourself, you've faced so much and stood tall regardless, and still you'd happily go back and give in if you could? It seems like a betrayal somehow, a betrayal of all you went through. You're probably a much better person for it.

Why does Shay's opinion have to be questioned ? Why tell him what he should do ? and talk of betrayal etc etc

Isn't that the root of many gay people's unhappiness (transient hopefully), feeling a need to meet other people's values, a compulsion that they should be or behave a certain way ?

Is it never possible on this forum that a person just offers his opinion with out it being judged ?? Acknowledginh he has faced so much etc can you not acknowledge he's the person best equipped to feel how he feels ?

damien

What hmmm_ said. Told you someone would call it betrayal.

Zillah

I meant to himself and all he's been through...not other queers.

Is it never possible on this forum that a person just offers his opinion with out it being judged ?? Acknowledginh he has faced so much etc can you not acknowledge he's the person best equipped to feel how he feels ?

Does that mean that I'm not entitled to an opinion? He's posting in public, clearly he expects responses. Im not judging him, personally I don't give a toss what he does, I was just sharing an observation.

Boston

Zillah wrote:

You should be stonger than that. You sound so sure of yourself, you've faced so much and stood tall regardless, and still you'd happily go back and give in if you could? It seems like a betrayal somehow, a betrayal of all you went through. You're probably a much better person for it.

You know nothing about him, nor the life he's lived. Maybe he's paid a very high price for being gay. Maybe if he was able to talk more openly about things like this, to his so called community, instead of being expected to toe the line and put a brave face on it, things wouldn't be so bad for him and he wouldn't feel this way?

I can remember giving the whole "Do I want to continue this life" idea allot of thought, and how allone I felt at the time, because there is a sense that no margin for doubt exists. That people somehow see it as a personal betrayal on them, when infact it often a very private issue and sweet fa to do with them.

shay_562

OK, whoa. Wasn't expecting to actually spark off anything approaching a debate. I just read back over my original post, I didn't mean to come across anywhere near as depressed and introspective as I did - I'm actually a pretty cheerful, well-adjusted person. Hmm_, Damien, thanks for sticking up for me, but like Zillah said, I wouldn't have posted it in a public place if I didn't want anyone to disagree with me or judge what I had to say. And to answer his/her original question: even though it's clearly impossible to compare, there's a chance I'm stronger or happier or a better person or whatever-the-**** because I've been through some ****. It's equally possible that me being happy and comfortable in myself now is something I could have experienced 4 years earlier, and I'd be just as strong and happy, but with less emotional baggage. Worse, there's just as many people who come out of it a screaming bag of neuroses, or who don't come through it at all because it's too hard. So maybe it's a betrayal of myself, but I don't think I should have to go through that **** - I don't see it as "giving in" to want to have what everyone else had.

Zillah

LiouVille wrote:

You know nothing about him, nor the life he's lived.

Yes I do...as much as he's commented on and thats all I referred to.

Maybe if he was able to talk more openly about things like this, to his so called community, instead of being expected to toe the line and put a brave face on it

Are you even listening to me? I couldn't give a flying toss about "towing the line", and I've absolutely nothing to do with the gay community. I shared a thought that occured to me while reading his post.

And for people who claim to be defending the right of people to express themselves you seem awfully quick to land on me like a ton of bricks for daring to share an opinion that you don't agree with.

Shay_562 wrote:

I'm actually a pretty cheerful, well-adjusted person.

Well Im happy for you then.

there's a chance I'm stronger or happier or a better person or whatever-the-**** because I've been through some ****

I'd be suprised if you weren't tbh.

shay_562

Well Im happy for you then.

Excellent. I'm happy for me too.

damien

Get a room kids. All this heavy petting in public isn't polite.

Hmm_Messiah

I'm actually a pretty cheerful, well-adjusted person. Hmm_, Damien, thanks for sticking up for me, but like Zillah said, I wouldn't have posted it in a public place if I didn't want anyone to disagree with me or judge what I had to say

For the record I wasn't sticking up for you in particular, you come across as an articulate adult person able to defend himself. Mostly I just don't understand people's apparent need to judge people in every minutia. Of course I judge people too, but then I am aware of it and try to lessen how often.

Off topic, slightly: I do some literacy tuition and a colleague mentioned the other night that she has a student who is not progressing and in fact seems unable to recognise any "sound" when he sees letters/words. She finished by saying "its terribly sad isn't it" I asked her "but is it really, for him? " and she thought about it and changed her mind. We both see language as an extraordinary gift and pleasure - reading, wrting etc but we presumed that "for" him. He did find it sad that he couldn't do specific things, but its unlikely its sympathy he wanted from his tutor. Not sure I expressed that well but maybe you get the point.

Finally putting Hmm & Damien in such close proximity is against the laws of nature.

Stay well adjusted, like comfortable underwear

PAX

MicraBoy

Who is this Hmm_Damien person anyway?

damien

MicraBoy wrote:

Who is this Hmm_Damien person anyway?

An ignorant prick who talks too much.

Hmm_Messiah

Well Damien has just said who he is so I guess I should describe me now?

Boston

Zillah wrote:

You should be stonger than that. You sound so sure of yourself, you've faced so much and stood tall regardless, and still you'd happily go back and give in if you could? It seems like a betrayal somehow, a betrayal of all you went through. You're probably a much better person for it.

You don't know any of this, and you're persuming to know it. Your attitude seems to be that being gay is just this absolutely positive experience which builds character through trials that test our very being. You forget that somepeoples trials are harder then others, and the just because you can bear yours and come out better for it on the other side, doesn't mean everyone can.

On and I'd never call you ignorant Damien.

shay_562

Get a room kids. All this heavy petting in public isn't polite.

Yes, god forbid people actually be civil to each other.

For the record I wasn't sticking up for you in particular,

Fair enough. Any thanks and goodwill are cheerfully withdrawn.

An ignorant prick who talks too much.

Well Damien has just said who he is so I guess I should describe me now?

Kids, kids, there's no need to fight. You're both ignorant pricks who talk too much.


(I kid, in case that wasn't clear. Not trying to start a flame war here. They're never fun)

Hmm_Messiah

Quote:
For the record I wasn't sticking up for you in particular,


Fair enough. Any thanks and goodwill are cheerfully withdrawn.

No offence, just "sticking up " for guys got me in no end of trouble in gym in school.

Sapien

dublindude wrote:

Hello,

I hope I'm not intruding here

I know the whole concept of a "cure for gayness" is ridiculous, but if there was one (ignore the science etc.) would you have liked it if your parents had injected you with it as a baby?

I know you are probably very happy with your life now, but would you like to have grown up hetero?

Apologies for the weird question. It's something I've always wondered (I live on Georges Street so I'm quite exposed to the gay community.)

PS There is no malice in this post.

The question is fundamentally meaningless - it poses an impossible hypothesis. To have been born with a different sexual orientation would be to have lived a different life and become a different person. Our personalities, psyches and wishes are contingent on the meagrest aspects of our experiences. Sexuality affects ones development in a number of important ways, especially in childhood when awareness of oneself as being outside of the norm can have profound impact.

Effectively, what you ask is "would you like to be someone else". Anyone who answers positively to this is unhappy in themselves, and though they may identify sexuality as being the cause of this unhappiness, such things can never be known.

It can be sensible to ask: "Are gay people generally less fit to lead happy lives than those straight?", but phrased as by the OP - there can be no meaningful answer.

zippo22

Speaking as an heterosexual man, if I could change I'd like to be a lesbian please.

Zillah

LiouVille wrote:

You don't know any of this, and you're persuming to know it.

Your attitude seems to be that being gay is just this absolutely positive experience which builds character through trials that test our very being. You forget that somepeoples trials are harder then others, and the just because you can bear yours and come out better for it on the other side, doesn't mean everyone can.

I find that rather ironic.

Not to mention utterly innacurate.

AARRRGH

Sapien wrote:

The question is fundamentally meaningless - it poses an impossible hypothesis. To have been born with a different sexual orientation would be to have lived a different life and become a different person. Our personalities, psyches and wishes are contingent on the meagrest aspects of our experiences. Sexuality affects ones development in a number of important ways, especially in childhood when awareness of oneself as being outside of the norm can have profound impact.

Effectively, what you ask is "would you like to be someone else". Anyone who answers positively to this is unhappy in themselves, and though they may identify sexuality as being the cause of this unhappiness, such things can never be known.

It can be sensible to ask: "Are gay people generally less fit to lead happy lives than those straight?", but phrased as by the OP - there can be no meaningful answer.

OK. But forget about the BS intellectualism for a second -

Would you rather of grown up having a "normal" life?

Zillah

dublindude wrote:

OK. But forget about the BS intellectualism for a second -

Hahaha...classic.

damien

Sapien wrote:

Our personalities, psyches and wishes are contingent on the meagrest aspects of our experiences. Sexuality affects ones development in a number of important ways, especially in childhood when awareness of oneself as being outside of the norm can have profound impact.

What a load of bollox. Awareness of one's identity starts in adolesence not childhood. Awareness of one's sexual orientation doesn't happen for the majority of people until puberty. The other thread on coming out ages shows this.

While the basic functions of humans are to reproduce/have sex, I am quite surprised that people think their sexuality is such a big thing in their lives. If sexuality is such a big thing then how come everyone that's single isn't in counselling? Or is it just gay men?

Hmm_Messiah

Sapien wrote:

The question is fundamentally meaningless - it poses an impossible hypothesis. To have been born with a different sexual orientation would be to have lived a different life and become a different person. Our personalities, psyches and wishes are contingent on the meagrest aspects of our experiences. Sexuality affects ones development in a number of important ways, especially in childhood when awareness of oneself as being outside of the norm can have profound impact.

Effectively, what you ask is "would you like to be someone else". Anyone who answers positively to this is unhappy in themselves, and though they may identify sexuality as being the cause of this unhappiness, such things can never be known.

It can be sensible to ask: "Are gay people generally less fit to lead happy lives than those straight?", but phrased as by the OP - there can be no meaningful answer.

A question on boards being fundamentally meaningless? Is that possible?

Your post comes across as a pathetic convluted attempt at intellectualism, and leaving that aside is flawed in so many ways.Damn I'm judging now! but then I guess you don't allow care for mere mortals opinion

Sad to see some one make such "logical rational argument" then signing off with words from ritual Magick. I'm guessing you never did get to draw back that veil did ya.

Shlt. bollix was so uch more succinct

Namaste

shay_562

If sexuality is such a big thing then how come everyone that's single isn't in counselling? Or is it just gay men?

Of course sexuality's a big thing, especially during teenage years. Perhaps not to the extent that Sapien is suggesting, but definitely a key factor in how we develop.

the_syco

Sapien wrote:

"Are gay people generally less fit to lead happy lives than those straight?", but phrased as by the OP - there can be no meaningful answer.

I agree here. OP: think that straight people grew up with a nice f*cking life, with a smooth f*cking childhood? Do you for some stupid reason think that by being straight, you automatically have a better life? Some gays proberly have had a great life, great childhood... and lots of straight people have had sh|te childhoods, so nothing is so "happy". Being "normal" won't automaticlly make their life better.

It may make it a whole lot worse.