Public display of affection: Yay Or Nay?

Sully

I remember this being discussed on ray Darcy's show before, and was wondering, how do you feel about people shoing affection for each other in public? I dont mind the odd bit of it, but when it happens all the time, from the same people, who just eat each others face of or start pecking and doing weird things to each other - that's just to far >< I think that should be kept for your alone time.

Thing is, two of my friends are really bad at it. They are constantly snogging and kissing and doing weird lovey things to each other in front of all of us. It makes most of us sick and they just ignore us when we ask them to stop. There so bad they do it in front of visitors, little kids (such as there little brothers or sisters) etc They have no consideration for anyone. As one of there cousins (at 11 years of age) goes:

Its like walking sex education

Now maybe its just me and I am to much of a moaner, my girlfriend always gives out to me for saying it to them even though she agrees :P

One of the other chaps has OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) and he pretty much stalks the girl he is with. If she goes to the bathroom, he wont stay in the room with us, he just follows her and waits outside the door. Always starting at her chest and ass. He can be an OK guy when he puts the amount of bull**** and lies he spreads away, but always does his best to **** things up and stir ****e. But I think there is more wrong with the poor guy. Its funny the things they do, and he aint the best looking chap tbh, and we all just ask then to stop and most of the time they do.

Nobody minds the odd peck or show of affection but when it goes to the extreme, I think its over the top and really annoying. Cant even have a conversation with one slapping each others arses or kissing etc ><

So, is it Yay or Nay for public display of affection for the people of boards.ie?!

aidan_walsh

So someone isn't getting any then?

Scraggs

Nay.... PDA's are too much!
the odd kiss, hug, peck that sorta thing is grand ....but when a couple are verging on heavy petting in public its just way too much information.
Its niice to see a couple mad about each other but seriously ...GET A ROOM!!!

Binomate

I think the occasional display of affection can be quite sweet. I generally hate when two of your mates start going at it right in front of you. Does it make you feel like the spare prick or what!?! The worst is when it's on an message board. I'm a regular at another forum where two of the members have found love online. Now every second thread is either them posting pictures of themselves or them declaring their love for each other. I feel embarresed for them sometimes when I'm not pulling my hair out over how annoying it is.

Sully

aidan_walsh wrote:

So someone isn't getting any then?

I am. I have had my currently girlfriend for just under 2 years. Getting on fine, we do the odd kiss and cuddle etc in public but we aint always at it every second and every min of the day. We dont do it in front of cousins, visitors, younger people etc.

Just like the most of us. Its only them two in the group who go over the top in PDA's.

C'Mon, you got agree, its disgusting sometimes! At a party, big crowd of people around, and they start. Just me and them two, they do it.

It justs gets fairly annoying at times. I mean, most of the time there ALWAYS alone together or away from us, cant they just leave it for when there alone and not do it with everyone around?!

Vangelis

So long as people don't start touching eachother's sexual organs and arouse eachother, have intercourse in front of people(on the bus, on a football match, in a cafe etc), it is allright. I think it's cute when couples cling to eachother, tickle eachother, laugh and kiss and so on. I do it with my boyfriend, because I'm not afraid to show that I love him. It feels natural for me. I'm not doing it to show off! Those who do that are really more occupied with what people think of them than eachother.

The Troll

Kiss, hug etc fine. Full on sh*t is a nay. Small pdas are fine by me though, both giving and receiving.

Mossy Monk

if it bothers you just walk away

scuba steve

depends on how much like. Small bits are fine. If ya dont like it, dont be watching them!!

Nunu

Definetly nay.
I have a couple of friends like that always at it and it's always initiated by the girlfriend. It's pathetic really and all just for show. The odd hug and kiss, holding hands etc. is grand. This crap of sitting on each others lap snogging and giggling when you're in the company of others is not on. I don't really mind it when I see strangers in town at it because you just get on with whatever you're doing, but when in the company of people you know it's a definite no-no, no need for it.

NoDayBut2Day

I also think it's cute when couples cuddle/kiss, etc. Yes, I know there's a time and place for things and all couples should be considerate of people around them and their feelings. Sometimes the love blinds us to the feelings of other people and couples need to remember that there are other people around who may not appreciate or feel comfortable with them showing PDA.

So yeah... singles should be considerate of couples' feelings (they love each other, etc) but couples should be aware of singles' feelings too (this might make them uncomfortable, etc).

dundalk cailin

dont mind the odd hug/kiss, think its sweet, but PDA's a bit much, esp when they are totally ignorant of peopl round them!

Le Rack

It depends how much, hugs and little kisses are okay but being on top of eachother in the town park? NO! or infront of all your friends! I have a few friends who were like that, they're all split up now...
Public places that aren't really all that public, now that is okay, oh yes it is...
PDA in front of the rents! NO!

CathyMoran

Even while PDA's are sometimes upsetting to see while you are single (and especially when you have just broken up from someone) I still think that they are acceptable. I have kissed and hugged ex-bf's on buses, at meals (including in front of family and friends), in pubs...in college my then bf and I got the award for kiss of the year because we had kissed in every room in the faculty (still proud of that one ). In the end PDA's are cute because it reminds me that at least some people are in love...

jonny68

Not really for me,you wouldn't mind the odd kiss with a bird but not like some people carry on :rolleyes:

CathyMoran

In terms of PDA that are hard to take when you have just broken up/are single are when a couple hold hands and are staring into one anothers eyes - but still, when I look at the couple it does remind me of being in love. I suppose that the only one that is really hard is if you see an ex kissing but that is another thing...

Sully

I dont mind the odd bit, its cute. I mean, we have a "new couple" in the group and they understand where we come from, they just hold hands and lie on each other - cute and nice. There a nice couple.

But the other two spend a lot of there time alone, constantly kiss, song, cuddle and hug each other. ALL the time. Never a break. In fact, there was an argument today with them cause they didn't get any alone time the other day - why? Because that night we went to a friends house. They STILL were snogging in front of everyone, yet he was moaning that they didn't much alone time. Got in a right sulk!

Its not as simple as "walking away". They follow us. There our friends and we all go out together, and if we walk away they catch up with us and do it again. It justs gets annoying at times. Today they had there jacket over each other heads while they snogged and then he went to sleep with his head in her chest LOL. At least they covered it up I guess.

I just think small bits is good, to much should be kept for when there alone.

Calhoun

Could be worse. One of my friends is going out with a girl who is obsessed with him. It gets really uncomfortable when she keeps asking him does he love her about 50 times in 2 minutes and gets him to stroke her hair.

miss_gonzo

i find it annoying

only because i'm single

*Lees*

Darkener wrote:

Could be worse. One of my friends is going out with a girl who is obsessed with him. It gets really uncomfortable when she keeps asking him does he love her about 50 times in 2 minutes and gets him to stroke her hair.

... Wierd!!!!!

Small displays of affection are nice!!... like holding hands and the odd peck or something!!.. when people are all over eachother I feel as if they are trying to prove something!!... And they probably know feck all about eachother because they spend all their time with their tongues down eachother's throats they never talk!!
Its finished between me and my ex for about 2 years!.. And we are both going out with other people for around the same length of time!!.. we are still very good friends etc...
Anytime there is a party or anything that all of us are at.... she sits on his lap and eats the face off him... its really wierd because she waits till im around or when im looking to do it!!... She even sends me emails and has his surname as hers!!.. Its as if she is trying to prove something to me!!... I think it is really sad!!

Vangelis

I think the wording display of affection is a bit misleading.
It's not supposed to be an exhibition of kissing, holding and hugging.
But it's imporant for a couple I believe, to dare to be a couple in public as well. They don't have any reason to be ashamed of themselves, and if they're supposed to be careful when there are singles around(!), that's just stupid. I couldn't care less if someone is offended if he/she sees me and my boyfriend kissing etc. "They shouldn't do that. Makes me think of my ex-boyfriend! Boo-hoo!" Bleh? Well, sorry sir, that's not my problem!

omb0wyn5ehpij9

I wish i had somebody to show affection to in public !!

Lord Nikon

There was this couple where I work, and in the small break area, they were known to all be over each other. The supervisor caught them one day, and didnt know what to say. He was obsessed with her. They have since gone back to Poland.

Another couple who work here are rubbing under the table in the canteen, full view of at least 100 people, how do you tell strangers to stop fooling around in work. Their not kissing cause their eating. You would swear that people aren't getting enough at home that they bring it into work, yet again another Polish couple.

PDA is fine, once you keep it to hug and peck and hand hold. Personnally, I don't have a problem with it, but minors shouldn't have to see this.

P.S it's okay do do it drunk after the night-club has ended.

BrenC

I've no problem with it, people can do what they want.

Nunu

lisamon wrote:

..

Small displays of affection are nice!!... like holding hands and the odd peck or something!!.. when people are all over eachother I feel as if they are trying to prove something!!... And they probably know feck all about eachother because they spend all their time with their tongues down eachother's throats they never talk!!

QUOTE]

Totally agree. Most of the time I've come across the excessive shows of affection it all looks very staged managed, as if it's expected of them and not spontaneous at all.

Funkstard

My two friends are exactly the same. They just completely go off in their own ignorant little world and slobber all over each other, obvlivious to other people around them. It gets to the stage where in pubs managers have come over to tell them to cut it out or get out. I think it's really selfish, fair enough an odd kiss or whatever now and again, but when they start doing it in everyone's faces, that's when it's gone too far

ferdi

if it bothers you, next time they do it, start staring straight at them and put your hands down your pants and start breathing heavily.

Funkstard

That'd only encourage them.












Seriously.

taby

I agree that PDA's (over the top ones) are seriously annoying and gross at times. I'm in a relationship and even i agree that sometimes wtaching someone evacate someones root canal with their toungue is pretty disgusting. I see it soooo much in college sometimes. Like the girl who sits on her boyfriends lap in a chair even though there's like sixteen seats der available to her and than starts kissing/fondling/anything else they did after i started hiding under my jacket to avoid it...

I agree - a kiss/cuddle is nice. But i don't feel comfortable myself sticking my toungue down someones throat or feeling them up in places in public because not everyone wants to see that stuff. :-)

Pyr0

As said before a kiss, hug, cuddle ,holdings hands are fine but when it comes to eating the face off someone around your friends it gets a little uncomfortable. I find it uneasy when my gf tries to go further then a few pecks, i don't particulary like people watching

natter

I just find it annoying. I have a friend who has to be sitting inbetween her boyfriends legs pretty much at all times. She'll still try act as if this is normal even though theres a perfectly good empty stool beside her but I just cant hold down a coverstation with her when he has hishands up her top! I find that kinda thing or the giggling very rude. The the odd kiss or cuddle or holding hands is fine in other peoples compnay but more than that just makes an awkward situtation

Sully

I dont mind small bits of affection, but come on - when its happening constantly?! No exgeration!? It gets annoying.

Im not single and anyone who is single in the group just finds it annoying anyway, even if they had a girlfriend..

*Lees*

Vangelis wrote:

I think the wording display of affection is a bit misleading.
It's not supposed to be an exhibition of kissing, holding and hugging.
But it's imporant for a couple I believe, to dare to be a couple in public as well. They don't have any reason to be ashamed of themselves, and if they're supposed to be careful when there are singles around(!), that's just stupid. I couldn't care less if someone is offended if he/she sees me and my boyfriend kissing etc. "They shouldn't do that. Makes me think of my ex-boyfriend! Boo-hoo!" Bleh? Well, sorry sir, that's not my problem!

Theres nobody saying that your not allowed to kiss your boyfriend while there are single people around!!!!...... kissing your boyfriend is one thing but when couples are constantly mauling the faces off eachother and feeling eachother up in public... it does get a bit obnoxious!!!..... and it is very rude when you are in the company of friends etc to have your tongue lodged in your boyfriend's mouth!!... As i said... a kiss and a cuddle are fine every now and again... but when your out with friends you use that time to socialise with them.... feeling and fondling etc should be saved for your alone time!!

Vangelis

lisamon wrote:

Theres nobody saying that your not allowed to kiss your boyfriend while there are single people around!!!!...... kissing your boyfriend is one thing but when couples are constantly mauling the faces off eachother and feeling eachother up in public... it does get a bit obnoxious!!!..... and it is very rude when you are in the company of friends etc to have your tongue lodged in your boyfriend's mouth!!... As i said... a kiss and a cuddle are fine every now and again... but when your out with friends you use that time to socialise with them.... feeling and fondling etc should be saved for your alone time!!

I totally agree with that. I'm not the type to do the things you mention here though. It does seem like couples who do this do it to show off. Which is silly. I like stroking my boyfriend's back, touching his face and such. But people need limits too!! I have many fortunately. I feel that sharing such intimate things as tongue-kisses etc is like like sharing your boyfriend/girlfriend with others. Not directly, more indirectly.

Nunu wrote:

Most of the time I've come across the excessive shows of affection it all looks very staged managed, as if it's expected of them and not spontaneous at all.

M! That is absolutely not good!

Aisling(",)

The Troll wrote:

Kiss, hug etc fine. Full on sh*t is a nay. Small pdas are fine by me though, both giving and receiving.

exactly my sentiments

EvilPixieOne

Small bits are nice when theres a group of you, but when its you and them and they start going at it, well its just a bit embarrasing, and you dont really know where to look. Then again, the younger you are, the more usual it is, as sometimes it's the only chance you get

Cormic

Public displays of affection are fine. Public displays of lust are not. Simple as that

rsynnott

I've no problem with this. I do feel it's a little unfair that straight people can do it but gay people, for all practical purposes, can't, though.

The Song Thrush

Indeed, public foreplay royally pisses me off. I have friends who are now a couple and do it constantly. They're all over each other, slobbering and groping (they've even been asked to stop when we're in nightclubs). One time I was talking to her and he comes up behind her, gropes her breasts full-on and practically eats her neck, all the while she keeps talking to me as if it's nothing.
The occasional kiss and cuddle, holding hands is cute, but otherwise save it for the bedroom...

[Jackass]

I didn't get a chance to read the whole thread, but it sounds to me like you have more of a problem with the dude then the affection.

My impression from op was a guy that was gelious that a worse looking odd ball has a better looking girlfriend.

I've never seen any of you, so I could be wrong (but I could be right )

Dave

I've no problem with it at all. I don't see what the big deal is really. Are people now only supposed to kiss, hug and hold hands in private? You'll get people moaning over everything anyway. Smoking in public, wearing red pants in public or some other shíte. If I haven't seen my gf in a month and want to give her a kiss, and other people are bothered by that, I could care less. That being said I don't go to town on the whole thing. It's just kept to pecking, holding hands and hair stroking.

WhiteWashMan

nothing wrong with PDA's.

not much on the public shows of exhibitionism though....

theres a difference between affection, and just sexing each other up in public.

*Lees*

WhiteWashMan wrote:

theres a difference between affection, and just sexing each other up in public.

hehehehe.... sexing eachother up!!!

hehe.... thats furney!

audge

No no no no no! I hate public displays of affection. Seriously, it is completely uncalled for. I have a boyfriend, long term, and I would never get all touchy feely in public cos it just makes other people feel uncomfortable.
Holding hands, arm around shoulder, thats all good, put kissing every 5 seconds - WRONG!
I used to hate when I would be out with friends without my boyfriend, and my couple pals would be ploughing into one another - making me sick!

Night clubs /Pubs etc are one thing, thats bad enough, but I really really hate it in the work place or college etc

Picture it, girl sitting on guys lap in class room, work canteen, covering his sweaty face in kisses and murming sweet nothings loud enough for everyone to hear! Ahhhh, it drives me bad.:mad:

Only one thing left to say on this topic

THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE PEOPLE!!!

dahooligan

audge wrote:

THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE PEOPLE!!!

But audge, surely if one is in love then one must display that affection at every possible oportunity. I myself try to be as tactile as possible when I'm around my missus, and she loves it.. God I'd love to be hugging her now

audge

dahooligan wrote:

But audge, surely if one is in love then one must display that affection at every possible oportunity. I myself try to be as tactile as possible when I'm around my missus, and she loves it.. God I'd love to be hugging her now

Blleeeeuuurrrghhhhhhhhh! (what I imagine a vomit sound would look like if it was a word)

God I wish there was a smiley for vomiting!

dahooligan

audge wrote:

Blleeeeuuurrrghhhhhhhhh! (what I imagine a vomit sound would look like if it was a word)

God I wish there was a smiley for vomiting!

Someone has issues, maybe you weren't hugged enough as a child? Would you like a hug now? How bout this for a get sick smiley :v: @!%*>

audge

dahooligan wrote:

Someone has issues, maybe you weren't hugged enough as a child? Would you like a hug now? How bout this for a get sick smiley :v: @!%*>

There is something very wrong with you, perhaps you lacked affection as a child, hence you neediness now? :rolleyes:

Dave

audge wrote:

cos it just makes other people feel uncomfortable.

Why should you care what other people think? I don't hence PDA. And since you're in a long term relationship you've probably forgotten the first few months in a new romance where you can't keep your hands off each other!

Bacchus

Read the first page, flicked through the rest...

My opinion:
At a party, out on the town etc. PDA are fine and don't bother me in the slightest. It's easy to ignore.
At home, out for a pint where it's a small crowd (ie out with a few friends) NO!! It's flipping annoying. The home one especially. Nearly every time my friend (and housemate) has his gf over, she's all over him. He doesn't start anything in fairness but he sure as hell doesn't try and stop it. It's particularly annoying when I'm trying to eat or watch a movie. Hold hands, little hug/kiss. That's fine, but don't sit up on his lap making sloppy kissing noises and giggling and whispering. Actually I think whispering and giggling are worse. It's just rude.
It's similarly annoying when out for a few pints with some friends (the smaller the crowd the worse) and they won't stop at each other. One night, me mate's gf started giving him a back massage with only me and them in the pub :eek: FFS! hate it so much.

As for random strangers on the street, out on the town... what do I care. I can just ignore them.... just as long as they don't go OTT.

Nasty_Girl

I've no problem with kissing and hugging etc with my fella in public, like in the pub, cinema or in a park but I think it's extrememely rude to do it while with a bunch of people its like starting up a private conversation while sitting in the middle of another one. Pure ignorant.
If they "can't keep their hands off each other" they should back away from the group or arrange a date alone.

Its just pure attention seeking with a lot of people imho

i was going out with this guy once who couldnt remember me name at the best of times, but was very insistant on mawling me when his mates were around