Tightarses

Pighead

"Alright lads,anybody got a lend of a fiver til i go to the bank machine."
Generous Gary has a fiver out before the sentence is finished"There you go Pighead,no probs buddy"
Tightarse-Tony fumbles around in his pockets and spends an eternity mumbling "I have it here somewhere Pighead"

Everybody knows a tightarse,and everybody has a story about one.He wouldn't spend Christmas,shes as tight as a camels arse in a sandstorm,he wouldnt pay attention.etc etc

When I was at college my landlord was the King of the Scroungers.His fat fingers were copper coloured from all his penny pinching ways.Pighead was walking home merrily drunk one night from college when he bumped into the bin outside the landlords house,ne ne ne ne ne went the bin.The fcuker had a burglar alarm attached to the bin.What a tightarse!

For anybody who got excited after reading the thread title and proceeded to get disappointed upon raeding the content,this is for you.
http://imageserver4.textamerica.com/user.images.x/59/IMG_407059/Big/_0519/TZ200519051856664.jpg

scojones

Is that your landlord's daughter Pighead?

super_furry

I know a lad like that, the miserable ****er wouldn't spend Christmas. The worst is when he's there on a night out - he never, ever gets his round in voluntarily. At first, it was the reason for some gentle ribbing, but now it's just a big pain in the arse.

Pighead

sjones wrote:

Is that your landlord's daughter Pighead?

No buddy its not,thats actually a picture of Pighead from back in the 90's when he had long hair.
D'ya like it?

scojones

Pighead wrote:

No buddy its not,thats actually a picture of Pighead from back in the 90's when he had long hair.
D'ya like it?

Ooh back then you were hiding your balls in your belly like the Korean soldiers. Good lad Pighead.

The Bollox

aaah Pighead, I doubted you for a second, but you never let the side down! bravo

Pighead

super_furry wrote:

I know a lad like that, the miserable ****er wouldn't spend Christmas. The worst is when he's there on a night out - he never, ever gets his round in voluntarily. At first, it was the reason for some gentle ribbing, but now it's just a big pain in the arse.

Ah i hear ya super_furry,dont get me started on round dodgers.Actually do.
My old flatmate in college always expected strict justice in the round-buying ritual. Sometimes he might have ended up buying three rounds during a ‘session’, while the other members have only bought two rounds each. We tried to tell the scabby ****er that over several sessions, rough equality is usually achieved, but he didn't appear overly concerned about this and demanded 4 euro off everybody.Tightwad.

Supercell

Mwahaha, and all was saved with the final line!!

Yep known a few tightarses, whats even worse is a tightarse you lend money too..they seem to expect you to forget that they owe you money and then take offence when asked to pay up, nasty nasty people.

Blondie86Star

When I have money (which i do now cos I've a boy;) ) I'm not tight! Like if one of my friends is stuck i'll give them a tenner or summin, I never ask for it back, cos they lend me money for lunch/ drink etc when I'm poor.
My advice...bag urself a man! It's great:D

Oriel

Blondie86Star wrote:

When I have money (which i do now cos I've a boy;) )

Silly bitch.

pred racer

Pighead wrote:

Ah i hear ya super_furry,dont get me started on round dodgers.Actually do.
My old flatmate in college always expected strict justice in the round-buying ritual. Sometimes he might have ended up buying three rounds during a ‘session’, while the other members have only bought two rounds each. We tried to tell the scabby ****er that over several sessions, rough equality is usually achieved, but he didn't appear overly concerned about this and demanded 4 euro off everybody.Tightwad.

And even worse when you go out for a meal, "well I didnt have the starter, and you had 2 cups of coffe and that extra roll" It annoys the f*ck outta me,
As with the rounds equality is usually achieved after a couple of times.
Round dodgers are easy to deal with, just a simple are you getting them in or what? or everyone looking at them through an empty glass does the trick.
And of course being soundly abused at every available oppertunity for being a miserable git!

Endurance Man

Im the opposite and at times it can be really ****. My friends no i often have money and that i just cant say no when they ask for money , its terrible.
For instance, if im walking down the street and there is a guy asking for spare change i cant walk pass him without giving him something, i feel so **** for some reason.
Just yesterday i was waiting for the bus and this sketchy guy comes up to me asking for a cigarrete, told him i didnt have any and ended up buying a whole box to give him a few .

pred racer

Endurance man , gimme a loan of fifty quid would ya???

Blondie86Star

sinecurea wrote:

Silly bitch.

I do offer, he just never lets my buy:D

Franky Boy

I have one friend that's a tightarse but the rest are really not that bad.

Supercell

Blondie86Star wrote:

I do offer, he just never lets my buy:D

And you think he respects you because of it or he's afraid of loosing you if he doesn't?..thats a relationship built to last .....

If yer both 12 or 13 and in yer first relationship then scratch all that!!

Pighead

Blondie86Star wrote:

I do offer, he just never lets my buy:D

That won't last blondie,its early days,hes on his best behaviour,trying to impress his new lady by flashing the cash
Give it another 6 months and I guarantee you he'll be saying"Alright blondie flash the cash,i got dinner last time,c'mon and pay the bill before i dump your sorry ass,oh and when we get home I want you to make me up a hot water bottle,good girl"
Enjoy it while you can blondie.Pighead can guarantee it won't last

Blondie86Star

We've only been together about a month so i think he's just being the 'gentleman'. I buy him drinks n stuff...like i'd like to pay more, but i think its something about 'providing for a woman' sorta thing

Blondie86Star

Pighead wrote:

That won't last blondie,its early days,hes on his best behaviour,trying to impress his new lady by flashing the cash
Give it another 6 months and I guarantee you he'll be saying"Alright blondie flash the cash,i got dinner last time,c'mon and pay the bill before i dump your sorry ass,oh and when we get home I want you to make me up a hot water bottle,good girl"
Enjoy it while you can blondie.Pighead can guarantee it won't last

I know it wont cos he's quitting his job after xmas! its nice tho..having someone "look after you".

*Lees*

Endurance Man wrote:

Just yesterday i was waiting for the bus and this sketchy guy comes up to me asking for a cigarrete, told him i didnt have any and ended up buying a whole box to give him a few .

Awww.... thats sweet!!!

I hate stindgy people too!!... I have a few friends that are all really stindgy between them!... Like they borrow €3 from eachother and get really bitchy about it... "oohhh you still owe me €3 from mac donalds"... I think it started out with one of them being tight and it rubbed off on the rest of them!!! haha....i just laugh at them!

When i visit my old college buddies ......who are all still in college ...i always bring them some food and stuff for the house!... Or take them all out for a few drinks... I feel so lousy on them because i remember what it was like to be broke!

bounty_hunter

I know several of the type who get extremely offended when you casually mention that they owe you money and you're stone broke. Pisses me right off.

pred racer

Blondie86Star wrote:

I know it wont cos he's quitting his job after xmas! its nice tho..having someone "look after you".

Anybody know any rich women, in need of loving?
I wouldnt mind someone keeping me in the style to which I could become accustomed:)

I had to take a photo of my uncle at a recent wedding, so he could prove to people that he brought money with him. Tight git.

Gandhi

Years back myself and the lads I lived with would all go to a local bar that had friday night specials on pitchers of lager and buffalo wings. One dude was tight as fish's gearbox and so would make sure to fill his glass from the pitcher as often as possible. He used to rush it so much that the lager would froth up all over the place, but he would not wait for it to settle in case someone else would end up getting more from the pitcher than him, so he would end up sucking down this froth like a calf. At the same time he was wolfing down wings at breakneck speed - again to make sure he got the most. Not surprisingly, at the end of the night he would always get sick all over the place.

His other trick was jamming insane amounts of laundry into a single load to save money - he completely destroyed the washing machine in the house because of it. I heard recently he was living in another house years later and the washing machine burst open in the middle of the cycle one day, flooding the house, because of the amount of clothes the same dude had put in there.

Blondie86Star

pred racer wrote:

Anybody know any rich women, in need of loving?
I wouldnt mind someone keeping me in the style to which I could become accustomed:) QUOTE]
my neighbour... she is 80+ tho...but if thats what your into?

pred racer

Blondie86Star wrote:

my neighbour... she is 80+ tho...but if thats what your into?

Hmmm maybe not, although...... how much money are we talking about:p

Endurance Man

pred racer wrote:

Endurance man , gimme a loan of fifty quid would ya???

Hahahha , i really am bad and my friends are even worse for taking advatage of me .
I was back in SA last year for a long holiday, the folks where supporting me and because the exchange rate was good i had a fair bit of cash. Well lets just say i had to make many bank stops on a friday nights, if only my parents new what they had funded :v: .

Binomate

I hate tight arse that wont lend money when you're in need. I'm filthy rich so I'm never in need, but if ever I am in the situation of the tightarse that pighead described I'd gladly give money. Usualy if it's just €5 I wont bother looking for it back off them.

Blondie86Star

pred racer wrote:

Hmmm maybe not, although...... how much money are we talking about:p

We're talkin millions...husbands dead.. son lives in america, he'd prob b older than u. Ha ud b younger than ur stepson!

Pighead

Blondie86Star wrote:

We're talkin millions...husbands dead.. son lives in america, he'd prob b older than u. Ha ud b younger than ur stepson!

Alright blondie thats enough flirting for now.
Heres a question from Pighead to drag you back on topic,you seem to be an old fashioned girl who would love nothing more than to meet a big strong rich man who will provide for you forever and make sure you'll never have to do another days work in your life.
Is the above statement true blondie or has Pighead got it all wrong again?

Blondie86Star

Pighead wrote:

Alright blondie thats enough flirting for now.
Heres a question from Pighead to drag you back on topic,you seem to be an old fashioned girl who would love nothing more than to meet a big strong rich man who will provide for you forever and make sure you'll never have to do another days work in your life.
Is the above statement true blondie or has Pighead got it all wrong again?

I like a nice burly man who gives me big hugs and makes me feel all warm and loved... But i like to consider myself independent, but i'd like to give up work when i've kids (if thats feezible, due to my rich hubby!)

RefulgentGnomon

For anybody who got excited after reading the thread title and proceeded to get disappointed upon raeding the content,this is for you.
http://imageserver4.textamerica.com/...9051856664.jpg

I know a lad like that

Jeez, that was a dude?!!

dundalk cailin

i always lend my friends money if they need it, and they do the same, we're v good bout paying each other back, ,but if we cant its no hassle... im terrible when im out, anyone who needs money, i give it tsk taking advantage of a poor student :eek: :cool:

pred racer

Blondie86Star wrote:

We're talkin millions...husbands dead.. son lives in america, he'd prob b older than u. Ha ud b younger than ur stepson!

Hey hey, nobody said I was going to marry her! I just want to be a kept man.

Although if i did when she pops her clogs, I d get it all :rolleyes:

mawaahaahaahaa:)

Capt'n Midnight

Always liked that Dublin description "wouldn't give you the steam off his piss "

Can anyone think of a more worthless commodity, in a country where it rains on average 4 times a week, especially since it implies a cold damp day.

Blondie86Star

pred racer wrote:

Hey hey, nobody said I was going to marry her! I just want to be a kept man.

Although if i did when she pops her clogs, I d get it all :rolleyes:

mawaahaahaahaa:)

you would have to "pleasure" a woman who is approaching death tho....

Pigman II

I love lending money to tightarses. I see it as an social investment. Lend a fiver to some scrounger that you've had the misfortune to come to know and you've just succeeding in buying him out of your life.

You can say goodbye to the fiver but you can also say goodbye to the bum. He'll never come looking for you to return the money and you can always tell him to f-off next time if he ever comes looking for another sub because he never paid you back from last time.

Dave!

A Bronx Tale, crap movie.

Pighead

Blondie86Star wrote:

I like a nice burly man who gives me big hugs and makes me feel all warm and loved... But i like to consider myself independent, but i'd like to give up work when i've kids (if thats feezible, due to my rich hubby!)

So basically you want to be a kept woman?A woman supported financially by someone in return for being available to them as a sexual partner.Pighead knows it would be lovely to sit back and watch Trisha all day while your husband pays the bills and works the hours but surely you'd feel slightly tightarsed and guilty about the whole freeloading thing.

Pighead

DaveMcG wrote:

A Bronx Tale, crap movie.

.
Is this a film about tightarses or has Pighead just stupid and is missing an obvious reference?

Trouble

Whats wrong with sitting at home while your husband goes to work?? Its being happening since the beginning of civilisation, right up until some silly 'feminists' decided to assert themselves and burn their bra's and things.. Look whats happened Women now are considered tightasses if they don't shovel themselves up off the coutch and go to work. That was such a bad idea that feminism lark, women has it soooooo easy.........

Supercell

Pighead wrote:

So basically you want to be a kept woman?A woman supported financially by someone in return for being available to them as a sexual partner.Pighead knows it would be lovely to sit back and watch Trisha all day while your husband pays the bills and works the hours but surely you'd feel slightly tightarsed and guilty about the whole freeloading thing.

I'm a little suprised, doesn't the thought of a sow willing to mind the piglets all day with no thought of achieving anything more appeal to your sense of a pig that is a king porker amongst pigs ?

Pighead

Trouble wrote:

Whats wrong with sitting at home while your husband goes to work?? Its being happening since the beginning of civilisation, right up until some silly 'feminists' decided to assert themselves and burn their bra's and things.. Look whats happened Women now are considered tightasses if they don't shovel themselves up off the coutch and go to work. That was such a bad idea that feminism lark, women has it soooooo easy.........

Howya trouble,whats the crack?Pigheads gonna tell you whats wrong with it buddy!
Todays version of the kept woman isn't a patch on the classic model from the 20th Century.Them girls weren't tightarses,they washed they cleaned they scrubbed they ironed they dug gardens,built walls,buried dead dogs,changed nappies,organised local bingo nights and changed lightbulbs.

Todays "kept woman"rises at noon,watches trisha moans about being bored and makes a microwave dinner for her fella before the soaps come on.She doesnt earn the right to be kept and is thus a tightarse
Anyway any crack with you?

Trouble

Yeah, but if it wasn't for those silly 'feminists' women everywhere would have gotten away with it, i feel so cheeted!!!! No news here, Soc says hello

jellie

i know a girl who kept (possibly still keeps) a little book of what people owe her, down to like 50cent and stuff.

i could rant for ages about some of her habits but theres really so many i wouldnt know where to start

Pigman II

Pighead wrote:

.
Is this a film about tightarses or has Pighead just stupid and is missing an obvious reference?

He's making the point that the method I mentioned wrt to lending to tightarses was also mentioned in the film A Bronx Tale.

So basically you want to be a kept woman?A woman supported financially by someone in return for being available to them as a sexual partner.Pighead knows it would be lovely to sit back and watch Trisha all day while your husband pays the bills and works the hours but surely you'd feel slightly tightarsed and guilty about the whole freeloading thing.

What a sexist and misinformed comment. The whole idea of 'kept women' does my head in, and men use it to their advantage. OK, its one thing if you're a Footballer's Wife type, early 20's, rich boyfriend and no job, and you just mooch off your partner. Thats not very ethical.

But how can you compare that to a woman with kids? Not that long ago nearly ALL women stayed at home with their kids! There is a lot more to do than watch Trisha. Its a TOTAL myth that 'stay at home moms' are lazy and 'freeloaders'. Taking care of the kids is really important, are you one of those people who would stick your kids in daycare at a month old so you could earn a bit more money? To me thats really ridiculous.

My mam stayed at home with us until I was about 9 and then she started work, cos my dad kept insisting that she had to do her 'share' cos there wasn't enough money, blah blah. It really made a difference. I remember really wanted to talk to her about stuff and I couldn't cos she was always at work. She often had to work nights and sometimes Saturdays and I never saw her. I had to make my own dinner from age 10 and do all the ironing and that. In the holidays I had to stay at home with my younger siblings all day and make mine and their lunches for school etc, cos my mam was never home and when she was she was wrecked from working all day. It was crap.

But back on topic I hate tightwads as well. I think people sometimes see me as one cos I'm forgetful and genuinely forget to give people small amounts of money back, but I don't hesitate to lend money to people who need it and pay my share.

Pighead

Trouble wrote:

Yeah, but if it wasn't for those silly 'feminists' women everywhere would have gotten away with it, i feel so cheeted!!!! No news here, Soc says hello

If it wasn't for those "silly feminists"you wouldnt be typing on your keyboard at the moment,you'd be cleaning it for the dominant male force in your life.
Tell soc i said weeeeelllllll.Heres a little gay wink for him.;)

Trouble

If I had kids I'd stick them in day-care just so they wouldn't get in front of the tele while trisha or countdown was on......

Dave!

Pigman II wrote:

He's making the point that the method I mentioned wrt to lending to tightarses was also mentioned in the film A Bronx Tale.

booyah :cool:

Pighead

Craig Sweet Canoeist wrote:

What a sexist and misinformed comment. The whole idea of 'kept women' does my head in, and men use it to their advantage. OK, its one thing if you're a Footballer's Wife type, early 20's, rich boyfriend and no job, and you just mooch off your partner. Thats not very ethical.

But how can you compare that to a woman with kids? Not that long ago nearly ALL women stayed at home with their kids! There is a lot more to do than watch Trisha. Its a TOTAL myth that 'stay at home moms' are lazy and 'freeloaders'. Taking care of the kids is really important, are you one of those people who would stick your kids in daycare at a month old so you could earn a bit more money? To me thats really ridiculous.

My mam stayed at home with us until I was about 9 and then she started work, cos my dad kept insisting that she had to do her 'share' cos there wasn't enough money, blah blah. It really made a difference. I remember really wanted to talk to her about stuff and I couldn't cos she was always at work. She often had to work nights and sometimes Saturdays and I never saw her. I had to make my own dinner from age 10 and do all the ironing and that. In the holidays I had to stay at home with my younger siblings all day and make mine and their lunches for school etc, cos my mam was never home and when she was she was wrecked from working all day. It was crap.

But back on topic I hate tightwads as well. I think people sometimes see me as one cos I'm forgetful and genuinely forget to give people small amounts of money back, but I don't hesitate to lend money to people who need it and pay my share.

Alright Craig Sweet Canoeist lets get busy.
First of all Pigheads no sexist so its you thats misinformed.Second of all i've already stated that women who stay at home and do their fair share of work around the house are not tightarses so excuse me if i'm being rude but "what are you on about?"
Thirdly you go on about how poor little Craig Sweet Canoeist was all sad and lonely when mammy went to work and whine about how crap it was.Well get this buddy,she wasn't doing it for the good of her health.She done it so Craig Sweet Canoeist could get her school books and her chocolate bars.

Izzys Mammy:Alright Izzy i'm off to work,see ya later sweetheart
Izzy:NO!I want you to stay here cos its crap without you
Izzys Mammy:But the bills have to be paid honey
Izzy:But i dont want to make the school lunches,waaaaaahh!

Pighead

Trouble wrote:

If I had kids I'd stick them in day-care just so they wouldn't get in front of the tele while trisha or countdown was on......

Fcuk that Trouble,way too expensive,throw the little rugrats in the broom cupboard under the stairs and dont release them until the conundrum has been revealed