A tough break-up. anything i can do?

Morf3h

ok first a little about me.

I'm 18, live in Dublin, and i'm in college in tcd.

Last year i met a fantastic girl in the year below me (then 5th year), through one of my good friends, and it wasn't long before we were goin out. The relationship actually started properly in January and we were going out till the middle of august.

Basically this is how it went.

I really really liked this girl and fancied the pants off her. She was really friendly to everyone, she was kind, thoughtful and she thought the world of me. I was also really proud to have her as my girlfriend as i'd never had one before, and my friends would never have forseen me with such a nice (& nice looking) girl.

For the first few months it was really great and we saw eachother every weekend, cause we were in school, and texted non-stop. Then there was the leaving which was kinda hard but we got through it.

The summer was even better cause we saw eachother more and more, and we got more intimate with eachother. Oral sex wasn't uncommon some nights which was a wonderful experience, seeing as we were both new to the scene.

anyway as time went on, for some reason or another, i started to loose interest. I have no idea why tbh. She was the type of person who got offended if i didnt have hours and hours to spend with her. For example sometimes i would be going to meet up with some of my friends after we met up ad whenever i said i had to go, she would moan and whine(to some extent) about me leaving. Eventually she got more angry and claimed i dint make time for her anymore. It wasn't really anger actually, more disappointment. I felt bad, but at the same time i reasoned that i had to make time for my other friends, as well as my family whom i had gotten a little disconnected from.

So, sorry for blabbering, but the time came when we had an argument about what i mentioned. I had planned one night to break it off with her when we were scheduled to meet that night. Well typical me, but when i saw her i crumbled and couldnt do it (partly cause she was looking really gorgeous, and also because i didnt have the courage to bring myself to do it). I knew it would break her heart and i was torn that night as to what to do. Anyway that night i had said to the lads that i would meet them to watch a video and when i told my gf that i had to leave she begged me (as usual) to stay longer. As a result i missed my bus, and the film was nearly over when i got to my friends house.

I know it sounds very selfish but i hadn't seen them in ages, as we are not at the same colleges, and i was looking forward to it. This was also a recurring thing with her and that night i sent her a text asking her to try not be so protective. She replied saying i always seemed to be rushing off to other places whenever we were together and that i seemed disinterested in her some of the time. I then made my decision to break up with her.

My reasons were (as i tried to explain to her) :
1. I didnt love her as much as i did in the begining and i didnt want to drag it on any longer.
2. I felt the "magic" was gone from he start of the relationship (which i suppose was partly my fault).
3. 8 of the best months of my life had gone by and i felt that i had had enough. After all we were both still young and free and had our whole lives ahead of us.

so i had decided to break it off and typical me, i crumble Not only did i do it by text, but it came out so, so wrong and as a result she took it really badly. I accept full responsibility for ****ing it up and my friends have already dealt out the bashing so please leave it out if you can.

The problem is I feel so terrible. Its been buggin me ever since and is probably the reason why this post is so long
I am such a ****. All her friends think i'm a ****. All my friends have lost most of the respect that they had for me and i dont know what to do.

She hasn't made contact with me at all since then (not surprising really). I haven't seen or talked to her either, altough i did try, feebly, to apologise a couple of days after the ordeal. That failed miserably.

I'm not sure why i'm writing this. I guess i havent really talked about it with any1 before. My friends aren't much help as none of them have had serious relationships and I dont feel comfortable talking with it to my parents either.

I've tried to forget it, but sometimes i think about her and all the good times we had together.

She was the nicest people i've ever met and she would have been such a good friend (One of the things i'm most disapointed about).

Maybe you could give some advice on what to do? Do i just leave it, forget about her and move on. Or do i try to settlt my conscience and send her a letter, apologising for being an ass.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

I hope my account is coherent and i haven't repeated myself too much.

oh and excuse spelling, i'm on a laptop.

Thanks and goodnight.

Morf3h

plz excuse the monstrous post. I didn't intend for it to be so long, everything just poured out.

Morph

aidan_walsh

Couple of things. Its sounds to me like you broke it off simply because you were starting to feel suffocated by her constant need for attention. She sounds like a very overbearing person, not to mention rather immature needing you to be there every second of the day.

I don't think anyone here has any cause to bash you, and neither do your friends. You were only doing what was best for you, and thats what you should continue to do. IMO, look back on the good parts of what you had, and look to the future. Like you say, your both young, she'll get over it. You have no need at all to be feeling guilty.

If you really do feel that bad about how it ended, you could send the letter if you like. Actually, you could rearrange and email this to her, as you seem to articulate well exactly how you feel.

Victor

Morf3h wrote:

For example sometimes i would be going to meet up with some of my friends after we met up ad whenever i said i had to go, she would moan and whine(to some extent) about me leaving. Eventually she got more angry and claimed i dint make time for her anymore.

Occassionally doing this is cute. Doing it regularly is being a immature, whiney bitch.

Breaking up by text message isn't a very nice way to be dumped. But it happened, it's in the past. You can't change it.

You can however, change the effect it has on you, her and your friends. Talk to your friends or at least one of them and explain that what you did was hard you you too, that it wasn't the thing you wanted to do, but could not bring yourself. Once you have done that (**not** before), perhaps the letter may not go astray. Text message might not be the way to do it.

But realise that there is no going back.

Morf3h

doodle_sketch wrote:

If you really do feel that bad about how it ended, you could send the letter if you like. Actually, you could rearrange and email this to her, as you seem to articulate well exactly how you feel

that's one of the things i feel most distarught about. I wanted to do it right and it all came out so ****ed up. It couldnt have gone any worse like.

Victor wrote:

Text message might not be the way to do it

ha ha yes good idea i think.

Thanks for your advice guys.

FranknFurter

Well, your not so much the victim as the culprit. Sounds to me (cynic that I am), more like you are trying to get rid of the guilt you feel (and should feel) by trying to convince yourself it is so hard on *you*, rather than simply accecpting the consequences of your actions and moving on.

You acted like a sh¦t, like you admit, and it cost you friends and the respect of your peers.
Learn from it, make your apologies, and move on, *thats* how you may *begin* to get some of the respect back, and that, will take time.

B

Morf3h

FranknFurter wrote:

Well, your not so much the victim as the culprit. Sounds to me (cynic that I am), more like you are trying to get rid of the guilt you feel (and should feel) by trying to convince yourself it is so hard on *you*, rather than simply accecpting the consequences of your actions and moving on.

You acted like a sh¦t, like you admit, and it cost you friends and the respect of your peers.
Learn from it, make your apologies, and move on, *thats* how you may *begin* to get some of the respect back, and that, will take time.

B

i had thought about that frankenfurter. Maybe i'm just being stupid like you said. i think about her quite a lot though and always get overcome with guilt. Surely i can do something?

WhiteWashMan

what exactly do you feel guilty about?

is it because you did it by text instead of being manly and doing it to her face?

is it because it dodnt come out right, and you would have preferred it to be more elequent, but it didnt and now youre pÍssed because she hates you? do you think you could yhave put it a better way, that would make you look like a better person and less of a shÍt?
i only say this becuase, well, you dumped her. no matter what you say, she will still think youre a shÍt.

is it because you feel you hurt her? (as opposed to breaking up without hurting her?)

why was the magic disappearing your fault? surely there was two of you in the relationship?

or is it just becuase you feel like the one who is maligned, even though you make your ex out to be an overbearing, clingy, neurotic psychopath.


anyway, youre 18 or 19. go out an enjoy life and stop being a depressing angsty teenager who is worrying over things that they have no control over. i mean seriously, get a sense of perspective here. you havent lost a limb, youre not disabled, you dont have AIDS. move on, college is for screwing around and getting drunk. i suggest you do both, but wear a condom. you dont want to end up like other fools on this forum!

LegacyUser

You made your bed now you can lie in it.

Yes you should feel guilty. And no I dont think that she should accept your apology or that you should go anywhere near her.

You are only apologising to make yourself feel better.

I think your actions have been quite selfish.

I think you may be over exagerating things aswell, making out that she was some crazy lady cause she wanted to spend time with you rather than you running off somewhere else all the time.

Dumping her by text - ......................... I dont know what this says about you as a person. She has probably realised this.

Id advise to leave well alone.

Sleepy

Now, maybe I'm showing my age here but have you ever thought of writing her a letter to explain all this to her? As in an old fashioned pen on paper letter on proper stationary mailed to her house. Most girls I know love when you write them a letter because it shows a little effort (which you really do need to make more of after that text sh:te).

All you'd have to do is write out pretty much what you wrote above addressed to her and post it. At best, she reads the letter understands where you were coming from and you become friends. At worst she reads the letter and burns it but hey, you sent the letter, you've apologised and explained your actions so you feel better. Win/Win situation.

pickarooney

morph3h wrote:

Maybe you could give some advice on what to do? Do i just leave it, forget about her and move on. Or do i try to settlt my conscience and send her a letter, apologising for being an ass.

If you are going to send her a letter, be completely honest in it. Don't just apologise for being an ass, as I imagine it won't make much sense to her. Apologise about the text message, ok, but the rest is just normal break-up stuff, no need for long-term resentment.

Nasty_Girl

Victor wrote:

Occassionally doing this is cute. Doing it regularly is being a immature, whiney bitch.

.

Well duh people. She's what, in 6th year now? 16? 17? What on earth did ya expect!? Of course she's immature! God I know I was like at that age! One minute he's all the time in the world for her next she feels abandoned! It probably very much seemed like he was always rushing off to other people. She was probably really insecure and paranoid which she will grow out off in a year or so.

Anyway original poster, the time has come to move on and get over it. You're not what this girl needs so you don't have to feel guilty.

And so you made a balls of the break up...everyone f*cks up and some point!

She may have been just as upset even if you had told her to her face.

With time she'll understand why you broke it off with her.
She probably just can't see it now coz she's young.

As for your friends, they'll get over it. there's no point beating yourself up over it. These things are just an unfortunate occurance.

Morf3h

Sleepy wrote:

Now, maybe I'm showing my age here but have you ever thought of writing her a letter to explain all this to her? As in an old fashioned pen on paper letter on proper stationary mailed to her house. Most girls I know love when you write them a letter because it shows a little effort (which you really do need to make more of after that text sh:te).

All you'd have to do is write out pretty much what you wrote above addressed to her and post it. At best, she reads the letter understands where you were coming from and you become friends. At worst she reads the letter and burns it but hey, you sent the letter, you've apologised and explained your actions so you feel better. Win/Win situation.

of course i have. I was told to do this by my driving instructor no less! when i mentioned the idea to a friend he pretty much said what advo said (ie dont even bother and forget about it).

It's been 2 months now so maybe its too late to write a letter and i should just move on???? I'm good at writing letters as i seem to be able to express my feelings and thoughts much better. I used to write her letters when we were together and she loved it.

advo wrote:

You made your bed now you can lie in it.

Yes you should feel guilty. And no I dont think that she should accept your apology or that you should go anywhere near her.

You are only apologising to make yourself feel better.

I think your actions have been quite selfish.

yeah i think your right. i guess i can deal with one extra enemy

advo wrote:

I think you may be over exagerating things aswell, making out that she was some crazy lady cause she wanted to spend time with you rather than you running off somewhere else all the time.

That was not my intention at all. it was not an exaggeration either as she was very protective. I was fine with this at the start, but it began to frustrate me somewhat as time went on.

advo wrote:

Dumping her by text - ......................... I dont know what this says about you as a person. She has probably realised this.

That's the part i hate. What i did was totally out of character for me. Maybe i was selfish as you said, and just took the easy way out but i was also scared ****less that night. I'd never done anything like it (breaking up) before and regretted the instant i sent the messages. She will forever remember me as a selfish dickhe@d which is a bad reflection on my personality as a whole.

All I am trying to say is that i feel really bad about pissing off a really good friend and throwing any chance of long-tern friendship down the toilet.

advo wrote:

Id advise to leave well alone.

I think i will.


Thanks for all your advice people and for taking the time to post. i really appreciate it.

Later.

Morf3h

LegacyUser

Am not your enemy at all.

But Im not going to sit here and type that what you did was ok......

Everyone makes mistakes and you know what? We all pay for them. You are paying for yours now. That is life. Just cause you feel bad now doesnt give you the right to go back and upset her again cause you feel guilty.

IMO, you were a little selfish in the relationship and you are still being selfish.

Again, ask yourself, is it for your benefit/to feel better or is it for hers?

I think you will find (and from what I have read) it would be for your benefit to feel better about yourself.

Bri

I'd say if your looking for some peace of mind write the letter. If you re-read it and think screw it then don't send it. But regardless of what she makes of it you'll probably benefit from it as Sleepy said. I wouldn't sh!te on about being friends too much, just apologise and mention how much you enjoyed your time together...

It's not the end of the world if you don't make this gesture.

Apart from that, time to move on (easier said than done).

ven0m

This is gonna sound harsh but - **** her; get over it & go get laid & have some fun for chrissake!!!!

If my g/f dumped me tomorrow, as much as it would suck & hurt & as much as I love her, I can guaran-damn-tee you the next evening, I'll be out getting laid..... oh yeah.....I would... make no mistake!!!! I'm a bloke, I got needs...


::: ven0mous :::

Morf3h

ven0m wrote:

This is gonna sound harsh but - **** her; get over it & go get laid & have some fun for chrissake!!!!

If my g/f dumped me tomorrow, as much as it would suck & hurt & as much as I love her, I can guaran-damn-tee you the next evening, I'll be out getting laid..... oh yeah.....I would... make no mistake!!!! I'm a bloke, I got needs...


::: ven0mous :::

easier said than done m8. i dont know that many girls who would shag me right now I'm only 18 ffs.


hmm decisions... decisions..........


Morf3h

toxic_angel

ok write the letter send it and move on.

simple conscience appeased.... for ****s sake yer both 18/19 and this in a yeasrs time will feel like nothing in comparison to what'll youll get up to in trinners....

toxic!!

skywalker

advo wrote:

You made your bed now you can lie in it.

Yes you should feel guilty. And no I dont think that she should accept your apology or that you should go anywhere near her.

You are only apologising to make yourself feel better.

I think your actions have been quite selfish.

I think you may be over exagerating things aswell, making out that she was some crazy lady cause she wanted to spend time with you rather than you running off somewhere else all the time.

Dumping her by text - ......................... I dont know what this says about you as a person. She has probably realised this.

Id advise to leave well alone.

its really brave to go unregged to slag someone off isnt it :rolleyes:

Keyzer

A lot of you are being very harsh with this guy, give him a break....

You made a mistake breaking up over text message, but you live and learn and you'll know not to do that next time. I have been in the same situation mate, you wanted to break up which is perfectly normal. Nothing wrong with that. And as time goes by the pain goes away. I was dumped by a girl years ago, and I thought about her constantly for months afterwards, all day every day, at times it was unbearable. And then one day the pain was gone. I dealt with it and got over it. I think about her from time to time now with fond memories and sometimes wonder "what if" but thats it. Its done and dusted.

A letter may ease the pain on her part and allow you and her to have some kind of friendship, even if it means you can say hello to each other or have chat if you bump into each other some where down the line. Apologise profusely for the text message but tell her its better for both of you in the long run. Whats worse, being honest and hurting someone or lying and devastating them months or years later?

Beruthiel

skywalker wrote:

its really brave to go unregged to slag someone off isnt it :rolleyes:

skywalker
please read the CHARTER with regards to comments such as this
B

CathyMoran

To the original poster: stop beating yourself up over the way you broke up, it is in the past, it is done. Break ups are never easy in any case. You could appologise but I think that it is better to do it face to face rather than by letter (by all means write a letter first for yourself to sort out what you want to say). It sounds as if the relationship was too claustraphobic so you may have been better off out. Best wishes.

Morf3h

advo wrote:

Am not your enemy at all.

I was talking about her lol.

advo wrote:

Again, ask yourself, is it for your benefit/to feel better or is it for hers?

I think you will find (and from what I have read) it would be for your benefit to feel better about yourself.

Perhaps it is m8, and sorry for not mentioning ur post earlier; i missed it. But I'd rather she understand how i really feel and what i really wanted to say and how it worked out so horribly. Maybe that is being selfish, i dont know, but i can't shake off that feeling of regret and frustration.

I dunno what to do.

Time will tell i suppose. Maybe i'll see her before i get a chance to write a letter. Not looking forward to that


Morf3h

WhiteWashMan

at this rate she is probably off shagging someone else.

get over it.

Morf3h

WhiteWashMan wrote:

at this rate she is probably off shagging someone else.

She wasn't that type of person. But i'd never thought of it that way. Thnx

WhiteWashMan

youd be surprised what people can do. especailly after coming out of a relationship.
after all, a blokes first thought is to go and get laid.
why shouldnt a woman be the same?

pickarooney

WhiteWashMan wrote:

after all, a blokes first thought is to go and get laid.

This statement doesn't actually need any context, right?

WhiteWashMan

pickarooney wrote:

This statement doesn't actually need any context, right?

Um. No.

Morf3h

WhiteWashMan wrote:

youd be surprised what people can do. especailly after coming out of a relationship.
after all, a blokes first thought is to go and get laid.
why shouldnt a woman be the same?

Laid no, but scoring some other guy i wouldnt be surprised. Just failed my driving test today and am really pissed off cause it was my second time so i dont think i'll be writing any apologetic letters in the near future.
:mad: :mad:

WhiteWashMan

sounds like you need to go out and get laid too

Morf3h

WhiteWashMan wrote:

sounds like you need to go out and get laid too

lol not that kind of person either but it's an idea. You know what they say about college life and everything. :rolleyes:

WhiteWashMan

Morf3h wrote:

lol not that kind of person either but it's an idea. You know what they say about college life and everything. :rolleyes:

yeah, and i was a complete matress in college. and now look at me
youre only not that kind of person if you want to be.

go on, get some drinks into you. sure its dishco night in college tonight, get thee away with some 1st year english student or something. she'll teach you a trick or two.

AngryBadger

advo wrote:

Am not your enemy at all.

But Im not going to sit here and type that what you did was ok......

Everyone makes mistakes and you know what? We all pay for them. You are paying for yours now. That is life. Just cause you feel bad now doesnt give you the right to go back and upset her again cause you feel guilty.

IMO, you were a little selfish in the relationship and you are still being selfish.

Again, ask yourself, is it for your benefit/to feel better or is it for hers?

I think you will find (and from what I have read) it would be for your benefit to feel better about yourself.

You are a douche, I just had to get that right out there,and I'm fairly certian i misspelt it.

You are douche for several reasons, but mianly because you didn't have the guts to give someone **** under your own name.

To everyone else, aren't we all being a little harsh? Ok, he broke up with her over a text, not the nicest thing in the world, but no big fraekin' deal.

To original poster, don't break up with people over texts, it's unpleasant. Aside form that, sounds to me like she wasn't reciprocating here, it's a bit much to demand more time/attention from someone when she apparently wasn't willing to acknowledge your need to see your friends now and then.

nobodythere

If she thought you were an ásshole for breaking up by text, it's not gonna help that you've only made a vague apology. Yeah you were an ásshole about it, but everyone can be an ásshole -- everyone does stupid things and all you can do when you realise it later is to say sorry until your voice is hoarse.

Nobody outside of this can hold it against you that you got bored or disinterested (well I'm sure she can hold it against you, it is quite the insult :P) but it's all about the way you handle these things.

Breaking up by text says the following things:
1. I don't trust you or know you well enough to do this in person
2. I don't want to be friends with you at all. This is me getting rid of you.

I know you never intended for it to look like that, but see it from her perspective. Her boyfriend who she thinks has grown to dislike her breaks up with her by text, makes a vague apology and never talks to her again. The longer you leave it to apologise, the worse the situation will get. If you've left it for a few months, she'll probably think you're just trying to get her in the sack so you might wanna throw in the old "I don't ever expect you to forgive me..." etc etc.

Preferably you could apologise for her sake and for your friendship instead of just trying to relieve your own guilt but I suppose that can't be helped either.

Why do you seem so reluctant to write the letter or make apologies? I have a suspicion that there's something you're not saying. I get the impression from your replies that you think it would hurt your pride or something.

I don't think she's being whiny and neurotic about him leaving -- it can be natural if you love someone to not want them to leave and to get a little upset if he actually did seem to be always rushing off.

Gordon

Badger, I thought the insult filter had been re-calibrated? You say there are several reasons that advo is a 'douche' and the only explanation is that he doesn't have the guts to post registered? I expected to at least get a detailed breakdown of several reasons, but instead you simply insult advo. Please don't insult people like that on Personal Issues.

At least I am presuming you mean douche as in douche bag as opposed to the French translation being "shower". Or maybe you are calling advo a shower. So it's either off-topic or an insult.

Morf3h

grasshopa wrote:

If she thought you were an ásshole for breaking up by text, it's not gonna help that you've only made a vague apology. Yeah you were an ásshole about it, but everyone can be an ásshole -- everyone does stupid things and all you can do when you realise it later is to say sorry until your voice is hoarse.

Nobody outside of this can hold it against you that you got bored or disinterested (well I'm sure she can hold it against you, it is quite the insult :P) but it's all about the way you handle these things.

Breaking up by text says the following things:
1. I don't trust you or know you well enough to do this in person
2. I don't want to be friends with you at all. This is me getting rid of you.

I know you never intended for it to look like that, but see it from her perspective. Her boyfriend who she thinks has grown to dislike her breaks up with her by text, makes a vague apology and never talks to her again. The longer you leave it to apologise, the worse the situation will get. If you've left it for a few months, she'll probably think you're just trying to get her in the sack so you might wanna throw in the old "I don't ever expect you to forgive me..." etc etc.

Preferably you could apologise for her sake and for your friendship instead of just trying to relieve your own guilt but I suppose that can't be helped either.

Why do you seem so reluctant to write the letter or make apologies? I have a suspicion that there's something you're not saying. I get the impression from your replies that you think it would hurt your pride or something.

I don't think she's being whiny and neurotic about him leaving -- it can be natural if you love someone to not want them to leave and to get a little upset if he actually did seem to be always rushing off.

Hey thanks for that grasshoppa. Really got me thinking. You're absolutely right. I'm gonna write a letter. What do you mean by "Apologise for her sake" ?? And no i dont think writing a letter would hurt my pride.

I've written it a hundred times in my head. This post is the first time i've written it all down.

Thanks a lot.

Morf3h

Morf3h

WhiteWashMan wrote:

yeah, and i was a complete matress in college. and now look at me
youre only not that kind of person if you want to be.

go on, get some drinks into you. sure its dishco night in college tonight, get thee away with some 1st year english student or something. she'll teach you a trick or two.

Lol thanks for that WhiteWashMan.

Morf3h

Well whaddya know but i saw out of the window of a bus yesterday. I was on my way home and i look out of the window only to see her walking with a friend of hers. I haven't seen her since we broke up and it was really wierd. I was overcome with all kinds of emotions and stared at her for a second, before looking away in case she saw me.

At first the bottom of my stomach fell out (or whatever that saying is) and i had an overwhelming sinking feeling inside. It was very strange.

i tried to write the letter while i was away at the weekend but couldn't piece what i wanted to say together properly. Now, having seen her again, it all came flooding back. As a result i'm writing to her when i finish the post.

Wish me luck and thanks for our help.

Later.

Morf3h.

kazzer

Good luck with it. Lifes about learning, dont be so hard on yourself.

ven0m

ven0m wrote:

This is gonna sound harsh but - **** her; get over it & go get laid & have some fun for chrissake!!!!

If my g/f dumped me tomorrow, as much as it would suck & hurt & as much as I love her, I can guaran-damn-tee you the next evening, I'll be out getting laid..... oh yeah.....I would... make no mistake!!!! I'm a bloke, I got needs...


::: ven0mous :::

Folks - I am now going to tell you why you should NEVER makes posts like this. My g/f DID finish with me yesterday & I can tell you I am in NO mood to follow my own advice whatsoever.... this my friends is why you should never joke about Karma.... it's a bastard of a concept, it has spies everywhere & makes notes & does eventually get around to you to give you your kicking!!!!!


::: ven0mous :::

Morf3h

ven0m wrote:

Folks - I am now going to tell you why you should NEVER makes posts like this. My g/f DID finish with me yesterday & I can tell you I am in NO mood to follow my own advice whatsoever.... this my friends is why you should never joke about Karma.... it's a bastard of a concept, it has spies everywhere & makes notes & does eventually get around to you to give you your kicking!!!!!


::: ven0mous :::

ah **** that sucks man. I hope you feel better soon.

Good luck

Morf3h

WhiteWashMan

ven0m wrote:

Folks - I am now going to tell you why you should NEVER makes posts like this. My g/f DID finish with me yesterday & I can tell you I am in NO mood to follow my own advice whatsoever.... this my friends is why you should never joke about Karma.... it's a bastard of a concept, it has spies everywhere & makes notes & does eventually get around to you to give you your kicking!!!!!


::: ven0mous :::

oh, how i chuckled at your expense.

thank you for making my day a little bit more humourous!

LegacyUser

(think it was someone called "Angry Badger" who posted something about a Douche). I could say a few words about you myself but to keep on topic.....

Have you ever experienced anything like being dumped by text? I dont think so.

If so, You'd know how terrible it would feel to be the recepient of a "I dont think we should go out any more........" via text! Texts are for "I will see you later in the pub..."blah blah blah....not for dumping people!

I'd think most people know that!

Morf3h

advo wrote:

(think it was someone called "Angry Badger" who posted something about a Douche). I could say a few words about you myself but to keep on topic.....

good idea.

advo wrote:

Have you ever experienced anything like being dumped by text? I dont think so.

If so, You'd know how terrible it would feel to be the recepient of a "I dont think we should go out any more........" via text! Texts are for "I will see you later in the pub..."blah blah blah....not for dumping people!

I'd think most people know that!

it was more than one. ffs i still dont know what to do. There's still a page in my A4 pad somewhere with the words "Dear ****" at the top. I cant seem to put my thoughts onto paper.

Morf3h

Morf3h

life sucks

Morf3h

pickarooney wrote:

If you are going to send her a letter, be completely honest in it. Don't just apologise for being an ass, as I imagine it won't make much sense to her. Apologise about the text message, ok, but the rest is just normal break-up stuff, no need for long-term resentment.

what do you mean by long term resentment?

shifty sparrow

There seems to be no mention of the word love so you're safe enough.

The fact is, you break up by text, over the phone, in a letter/ e mail etc........the other person will hate you.

Its a baxtardy thing to do and if you feel guilty? Get over it.

You're young and would appear to be shy and foolish. In my estimation this will not be the last stupid thing you do.

Its good to remember the good times and the fact that you harbour guilt bodes well for you as an emotionally intelligent person.

But you will eventually fall in love and there is a chance your heart will feel like its exploding. until then enjoy life as a single chap and chill out!

Morf3h

shifty sparrow wrote:

There seems to be no mention of the word love so you're safe enough.

she said she loved me all the time. I responded with the same some of the time too. I think that was one of the main problems, ie that she liked me a lot more than i liked her. Sure i did fancy her and thought she was really fantastic but i'm sure the breakup was far harder for her than me.

Morf3h

I saw her again tonight. We actually saw eachother properly in a night club. I was talking to a friend of mine, whom she knew and who was very drunk, and when she saw me she just said hi and started talking to my friend who was "overjoyed" to see her. ;/

it was so terrible and i felt so so SO ****. Anyway i talked about it with another, less intoxicated, friend which was great and i'ts all over now. I'm just gonna forget about it an move on.

Thanks for all your help people. Btw i wrote that letter out but never sent it. (might have said that above, cant remember) It had the desired effect though.

Thanks again

Morf3h

tinkerbell

Burn that letter. You need to move on.

LegacyUser

Could be worse, I was by the meeting this bloke, and he was just after a really long term relationship- nearly 8 years!!

Then he decided to finish it off with me, because he just didn't think he was really ready for another one, BY EMAIL!!!

He told me that he had forgot about it SOME WEEKS ago ,and that I could just go and forgot about it!!!
He came into work the following day with Love bites on his neck, just to prove that he had moved on....

So YES that bloke was a total SHALLOW ASSHOLE!!

So there are worse guys than you out there