Favourite Simpsons Quote

woosaysdan

that duck is drinking all the water!!! (the episode wherre herb creates the baby translator)

yoyoyo

'they've got the internet on computers now????????????'

SoupyNorman

"Simpson...Homer Simpson, hes the greatest guy in his-tor-ee...From the town of springfield hes about to hit a chestnut tree.....................!"

frantic_mel

All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer. --Homer Simpson

frantic_mel

Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He's always one step ahead. --Homer Simpson

SoupyNorman

MOE> "If you wanna beat up my friend in my bar theres a two drink minimum"

HOMER TO APU> "When god was handing out religons you must of been out taking a whizz"


HOMER> "I love these lazy saturdays"
MARGE> "Its Wednesday"

denachoman

Can't remember the exact quotes but Chief Wiggum has a couple of classics when radioing in a call:

"Pursuing suspect, directly under the sun.........................now!!!!!!"
or

"The suspect is hatless, I repeat - hatless"

yom 1

Homer - "You mean the mob only did me a favor to get something in return? Oh, Fat Tony!"

Zulu

denachoman wrote:

Can't remember the exact quotes but Chief Wiggum has a couple of classics when radioing in a call:

"Pursuing suspect, directly under the sun.........................now!!!!!!"
or

"The suspect is hatless, I repeat - hatless"

Something like:
"errr, in the desert - some cactuses; we're on a road, made mainly of asphalt; directly under the earths sun .................now!"

Ph3n0m

there are so many, so I have included a few (most from homer )

"Eh, you never know what you are capable of. I never thought I could shoot down a German plane, but last year I proved myself wrong" - Abe Simpson

"The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!!!"

"Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that."

"And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?"

"Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!"

"When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces,,...I just know they're about to jab me with something."

"If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing.

"Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You"

"Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing."

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

"Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?"

"Aw, Dad, you've done a lot of great things, but you're a very old man, and old people are useless."

"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day."

"Beer. Now there's a temporary solution."

"Dear Lord, thank You for this microwave bounty, even though we don't deserve it. I mean... our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my French... but they act like savages! Did You see them at the picnic? Oh, of course You did... You're everywhere, You're omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did You spite me with this family?"

"You know Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She said, `Homer, you're a big disappointment', and God bless her soul, she was really onto something."

"When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!"

"Trying is the first step towards failure."

"Old people don't need companionship. They need to be isolated and studied so that it can be determined what nutrients they have that might be extracted for our personal use."

"Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here's the deal:
You freeze everything the way it is, and I won't ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done."

"That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college!"

"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."

"I can't believe it! Reading and writing actually paid off!"

"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.

"Ha ha! Look at this country! ? U R Gay!? Ha ha!" (looking at Uruguay on the globe).

"Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?"

"If you really want something in this life, you have to work for it - Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers!"

"Let us all bask in television's warm glowing warming glow."

"Marge, I agree with you -- in theory. In theory, communism works. In theory."

"You think I don't want to? It's those TV networks, Marge: they won't let me. One quality show after another, each one fresher and more brilliant than the last. If they only stumbled once, just gave us thirty minutes to ourselves, but they won't! They won't let me live!"

"Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover."

"I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls...I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live?"

"You can't keep blaming yourself. Just blame yourself once, and move on."

SoupyNorman

HOMER> "I only get two weeks of holiday a year Flanders and you want me to spend it in your beach house"

FLANDERS> "Well Homer if it will seal the deal i'll have a look at that septic tank for you"

HOMER>"DEAL!!!...You see flanders, you give a little, you get a little"




execellent thread,they just keep coming!

frantic_mel

Maybe for once someone will call me "sir" without adding "your making a scene" - Homer Simpson

frantic_mel

one dollar for eternal happiness? Id be happier with the dollar! - Burns

frantic_mel

Ralph: Teacher, my shoes are making noises.
Teacher: You must be Ralph.
Ralph: My daddy shoots people

frantic_mel

Shopkeeper: "Take this doll, but beware. It carries a terrible curse."
Homer: "That's bad."
"but it comes with a free Frogurt!!"
"Oooh, that's good!"
"The Frogurt is also cursed"
"That's bad!"
"But you get your choice of toppings!"
"That's good!"
"The toppings contain potassium benzoate."
*silence*
Shopkeeper: "That's bad"
H: "Can I go now?"

Astro1996

We take eighteen ounces of sizzling ground beef, and soak it in rich, creamery butter, then we top it off with bacon, ham, and a fried egg. We call it the Good Morning Burger,

We start with pure milk chocolate...(homer)chocolate...
Add a layer of farm-fresh honey...
Then we sprinkle on four kinds of sugar...
And dip it in rich, creamery butter...ughghughgughg.

Lisa: Dad, what if I told you you could lose weight without dieting or lifting a finger?

Homer: I'd say you're a lying scumbag!

Lisa: Arcording to eternity magazine, you can lose weight through subliminal learning. That's where an idea is subtley implanted in your head without you even knowing it.

Homer: Oh Lisa that's a load of rich creamery butter.


One of the best.

Agent Smith

frantic_mel wrote:

Shopkeeper: "Take this doll, but beware. It carries a terrible curse."
Homer: "That's bad."
"but it comes with a free Frogurt!!"
"Oooh, that's good!"
"The Frogurt is also cursed"
"That's bad!"
"But you get your choice of toppings!"
"That's good!"
"The toppings contain potassium benzoate."
*silence*
Shopkeeper: "That's bad"
H: "Can I go now?"

damm you! you just beat me to it!

Astro1996

Bart: How do I go about making a half-man, half monkey type creature?

Mrs. Krabapple: I'm sorry, Bart, but that would be playing God.

Bart: God, schmod. I want my monkey man!

frantic_mel

agent smith wrote:

damm you! you just beat me to it!

lol, but class eh??

Iago

Homer: Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure... not even close.


Bart: I didn't do it, no one saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!

Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you! I was twice your age when I figured that out.

lampsie

Homer (attempting to fly a hot air balloon): "I think I've figured this thing out.. you can go up and down, but not side-to-side, or back in time."

and..

Lisa: "I can see through time"

Canis Lupus

when they are taking auditions for the part of Monty Burns for the short movies:

Mexican guy in bee siut: excellentey!
Homer: exaaaactly..... DOH!!!

makes me laugh every time.

heggie

My sig

gimmick

"Badger? Baaadger my ass, its probably Milhouse".

The entire Klau Kalash scene is fantastic.

Roar

class one in the new episode on sunday, when homer framed marge for drink driving

"What I did, I did out of love!!! Love of not getting arrested..."

LegacyUser

homer: i wish god was alive today to see this.

Shazbot

bart talking to milhouse after getting caught in church changing th hymn.

Bart : there no suck thing as a soul, its just something parents made up to scare children, like the boogy man or michael jackson

Zulu

Homer - "butter up that bacon!"
Homer - "bacon up that butter!"
Bart - "...my heart hurts."

Sleepy

"Ahhh, sweet sweet beer, the cause of and solution to all life's problems"

Zulu, you don't deserve that avatar "Worst. Episode. Ever."

Astro1996

Kent Brockman here, with Campaign '96: America Flips A Coin. At an appearance this morning, Bill Clinton made some rather cryptic remarks, which aides attributed to an overly tight necktie.

Kodos: I am Clin-Ton. As overlord, all will kneel trembling before me and obey my brutal commands. [crosses arms] End communication.

and

kodos :
My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball, but
tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward,
and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.