At what age is it wholly unacceptable to have not been with a girl????

THE_Chris2

This was discussed at college today, for some strange reason.

People wanted to know at what age someone should be really embarassed if they havent been with a girl. Lots of them said that everyone who is 18 REALLY should have had a girlfriend. Anything above that without having been out with someone is just rediculous and the person should be sent to mental health.

What do you think about all this?

aidan_walsh

I think this is a steaming pile of BS. Sent to mental health? What age were the people asked, 14, 15?

RuggieBear

I don't think there is any age limit at all......you are either ready/capable of a relationship or you are not....nothing to do with age in my mind!

Dingatron

I don't think there is any age limit at all......you are either ready/capable of a relationship or you are not....nothing to do with age in my mind!

Absolutly. Not anything to do with age. Would you be with a girl if your not ready just because of peer pressure? When good and ready. I know plenty of late starters who are now married, kids etc.

sceptre

^^^what doodle_sketch said

Ren0

Well guess what, i've never had a girlfriend and just don't give a flock.

tribble

THE_Chris2 wrote:

People wanted to know at what age someone should be really embarassed if they havent been with a girl. Lots of them said that everyone who is 18 REALLY should have had a girlfriend.
What do you think about all this?

Been "with a girl" - what? kissed one, fsck'ed one or gone out with one?

Personally I've never had a "girlfriend" in the tradional sense, by choice (for the sake of my wallet, time and mental health).
I'm twenty three if that matters.

IrishMike

Maybe im crazy but to me this is a round about way of thechris saying he is 18 and has
never had a g/f

Not a damn thing wrong with it i might add.
I was 19 id say b4 i had one, now ive 2 (dont ask bad bad story)
It all depends on where you are in life and your outlook on women and your social skills.
Anyway all i will say is not to worry, it will happen if you make an effort to meet women

Naos

eh im 19 shortly and never had a proper one at all. bout 3 weeks was longest. Pah!

As tribble said, money, time and mental helth..

Ren0

THE_Chris2 wrote:

This was discussed at college today, for some strange reason.

People wanted to know at what age someone should be really embarassed if they havent been with a girl. Lots of them said that everyone who is 18 REALLY should have had a girlfriend. Anything above that without having been out with someone is just rediculous and the person should be sent to mental health.

What do you think about all this?

Truthfully the majority of those that said that are probably chavs who were pushing 2 prams by the time they were 16 and are trying to make themselves feel better by boasting that they have a boyfriend/girlfriend (not likely the other parent to their child).

Don't worry about what those dicks say (most of them are probably lying anyway) they likely have girlfriends/boyfriends all the time cos some1 told them they love them to get them to bed and stay with them cos they think its the truth.

When u get a girlfriend i'll bet she's better than all those other guys girlfriends. I hope the same for myself.

impr0v

I concur with the above sentiments in that there is no limit per se, and you shouldn't need one to feel validated as a person despite what your peers may think, but I also feel that it's fair to say that the longer it is before you have one, the harder it is to get one. This dosen't mean you should panic and take to wearing a sandwich board offering money for company but I think that the process of normal healthy inter-sex interaction would become a more and more theoretical concept without the benefit of experiencing it in practice during your formative years.

The_Conductor

Going out with someone, purely for the sake of going out with someone is utter and total bull. There is no particular age that you have to be- to find a g/f- I don't even think its a particular frame of mind that you have to be in.

Ignore those ignoramus- you're young- you'll meet someone nice, in an appropriate setting when you least expect it.

Seriously recommend you ignore their jibes, take your time, take life easy, sit back, relax. Join a few college societies in areas of interest- you'll automatically be around people who have the same broad interests as you then (college is great for things like that). If you meet someone- brilliant- if not, well you'll be having a good time anyway!

Anyone who suggests that there is a mental health problem associated with not having had been with a girl by a certain age- has a mental health problem themselves (and I would seriously question the stability of any relationships they may be in).

S.

Beruthiel

THE_Chris2 wrote:

Lots of them said that everyone who is 18 REALLY should have had a girlfriend

Chris
is this a personal issue for you?
B

I am MAN

Noone should feel pressured or embaressed by this but it's a pretty **** society we live in and it does effect mental health whether or not anyone thinks it's bull****, I reckon it would start effecting people during college more so than school because thats when a lot of socialising is done

Xterminator

Well just wanted to add a little bit to whats already been said.

It all depend on what you want in your life. If your going to college, studying, maybe a part time job, have plans for life etc, you may not have a whole lot of time for socialising.

Going out with a girl for the sake of it is just stupid! Some guys feel there a status symbol etc. .. but belive everyone when they tell you a Girlfriend is High maintenence !

That said, first love is special!

X

embee

When I was 17 or so, I went out on a few "dates" with a dude from Virginia, Co. Cavan, who was 21 or so and a virgin. Now, I didn't think that was too odd at all. What I did think was odd was that he never ever wanted to have sex. Ever. Unless it was to make babies. Sex was not for fun, but procreation. He told me one night when we were in the pub that he was "in the market for a wife", then he touched my hand and looked at me meaningfully.

That to me is a lot more weird than a 21 year old bloke being a virgin.

Sherifu

As above i don't think theres a fixed age.
Everyone develops as a person differently (worthy of Oprah!)
Take your time and it'll happen. (provided your not living in a cave in Afghanistan)

It's worrying that all these friends of yours think this way, but maybe its peer pressure, they may not believe this at all

ChRoMe

When I was 18 I got into a serious relationship. After 6months of going out we decided to move in together (or me move into her flat to be precise). It was an amazing 2 years and we had a lot of fun. Dont get me wrong I wouldnt have changed the experience but being a little bit older and wiser (22) I can honestly say that I was too young for a big commited relationship like that (everyone is of course different).

Anyway I'll stop rambling and attempt to make a point. Its nuts to make comments like if you didnt have a girlfriend by 16/17/18 whatever that there is something wrong with you. Before that relationship I spoke of I was kinda embarrased and insecure about not having a girlfriend.

Now the funny thing is I really dont mind being single. Which proved to me personally that while being in love is the dogs boll0x. There is loads of fun to be had being single too (and for some reason once I got to the stage of being happy single I become a lot more attractive to women anyone able to explain this to me still cant figure it out).

ChRoMe

ven0m

THE_Chris2 wrote:

This was discussed at college today, for some strange reason.

People wanted to know at what age someone should be really embarassed if they havent been with a girl. Lots of them said that everyone who is 18 REALLY should have had a girlfriend. Anything above that without having been out with someone is just rediculous and the person should be sent to mental health.

What do you think about all this?

ABSOLUTE & TOTAL TOSS!!!! It's different for everyone, & people shouldn't be given grief over it if they're still single by X age - what is it with this country where there seems to be this belief you have to do 'x' by this age, 'y' by that age & 'z' by that age..... now THAT my friend is truly ridiculous & worth querying in terms of mental health....

I wasn't with a woman until I was 17, & I didn't have my first proper girlfriend until I was damn near 19 & yet there's my brother who is now 23 (nearly 24) & has been with his girlfriend since he was18!!!!

Not everyone is the same & not everyone's perception on relationships (whether that be with the opposite sex or same sex!) is the same, & for other people to judge your relationships apart from the fact it's none of their business, it's really rather rude.........

::: ven0mous :::

Cabaal

RuggieBear wrote:

I don't think there is any age limit at all......you are either ready/capable of a relationship or you are not....nothing to do with age in my mind!

Agree
you'll be with a girl when your dam right ready

frodi

Wait until you know that it is right for you. I was 22 before my first GF. I still enjoyed life before that and have no regrets now. Different strokes for different folks.

azezil

24 and havn't been with a girl, oh just cart me away now *sniffles*

Antisocialiser

When u get a girlfriend i'll bet she's better than all those other guys girlfriends. I hope the same for myself.

Probably not actually

BEAT

it also works the other way too, I didnt have my first boyfriend till I was 18 and I didnt have sex until I was 23, with my second boyfriend.
It's all to do with when you are ready, not when everyone else says its time

pretty-in-pink

yeah let sex and the heavt=y commitment stuff come about on its own, but I'd feel weird if i knew of someone who had

a)hormones
and
b)opportunity

but still didn't even KISS a girl/boy. though its less weird for girls for some reason. there is more pressure on guys to be super studs, so lots of them lie. don't worry bout it. if someone is needy and creepy (stares a lot) then its going to put people off. just relax and forget about it. the lads I was frinds with in first year (7/8 maybe?) i think all but 1 said they had had sex, but in reality only 2 had actually "popped their cherry".

some of them might never get it for free -due to the inerent freakiness they give out (long stares at your body, leery smiles, just creepy, ugh!)

don't pressure yourself. i thought my fella was a super stud of seduction-from his stories. turned out I took his flower. true story. most of them are probably lying. commitment is for love. just fool around or be aloof. be you.

ven0m

naughty_girl wrote:

most of them are probably lying. commitment is for love. just fool around or be aloof. be you.

Yup - pretty much true. You see the thing is, most guys can get away with this kinda b.s. amongst them & their friends & 99% of the time, no-one will call the person on it - so then it becomes fact & the dude who 'told the story' in the first place ends up believing his own story....... fantastic how the male mind works..... I couldn't be bothered by this kinda lark anyways, much rather let women like me for me & let them discover **** about me for themselves; I'm 'sold as seen'. That's how it was with my g/f. She liked what she saw, & the rest is history folks....


::: ven0mous :::

dudie

hey dudes! listen it matters not at all if you never bury the baldy fella, unless it effects you. ie. you want to, and cant seem to talk to the opposite sex, then maybe you should consider learning how to talk to da ladies (or lads). and get help if needed, but it is a bit of fun tho isn't it eh?

Ren0

Antisocialiser wrote:

Probably not actually

And you would know what exactly?

How to catch STDs from big fat religious girls?

How to keep up with your child support?

How to enjoy the pleasures provided by a "smelly" girl?

Come back when you've something worthwhile to say.

Trojan

All that went before is rubbish!

The correct answer is obviously 42.

WhiteWashMan

Trojan wrote:

All that went before is rubbish!

The correct answer is obviously 42.

fish.


im 47 and i have never had sex. i did kiss someone when i was in my late thirties though.

there may be issues with hair style thought that may effect the opposite sex and their wanting to sleep with you.

actually, i have slept with women before, mostly at parties after i have talked tothem for a while. and when i say slept with, i mean they fell asleep and i sort of put my arm over their shoulder until they woke up.

does this count?

am i a freak?

The Clown Man

You obviously haven't been trying. Nothing wrong with that. Your perogative.

Having said that, actually getting a girl to sleep with you is not that hard no matter what they might like to think!

Actually finding a partner with whom you'd like to have sex with for the rest of your life (or even for the forseeable future) is a different matter alltogether. Some people just don't like the whole "I just want to get laid tonight" buzz.

Anyway, I'm just a big slut anyway!

chump

What a load of tripe that comment is...

I know loads of people who fscked around (perchance), scored gurls/boys aplenty, gone on a few dates and haven't had a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend"

Fact is there are quite a few 18year olds who have yet to kiss a boy/girl... never mind "go out" with them and they're hardly freaks ... just "shy", yet to break outa shell, ugly, disinterested

some people get into that whole thing of "going out" with chicks when they'e 13 and 14, fair play, but there's plenty who won't "go out" with a chick till their late teens and 20's... and they're completely *normal*

Gordon

Ren0 no personal attacks please.

the_syco

tribble wrote:

Been "with a girl" - what? kissed one, fsck'ed one or gone out with one?

Personally I've never had a "girlfriend" in the tradional sense, by choice (for the sake of my wallet, time and mental health).
I'm twenty three if that matters.

Likewise

naughty_girl wrote:

creepy (stares a lot) then its going to put people off.

Does that include staring into their eyes? I have a habit of catching people's eyes

WhiteWashMan

the_syco wrote:

I have a habit of catching people's eyes

thats kinda cool though.

theres nothing worse than your eye landing on a dirty floor.

Crucifix

I don't think it matters.
Personally I went out with a few girls then gave up on it. Seems to me it's wiser to just wait til you're ready and you've got a girl who's worth giving it a shot.

BEAT

WhiteWashMan wrote:

thats kinda cool though.

theres nothing worse than your eye landing on a dirty floor.

LOL, oh man I needed that

OfflerCrocGod

22 Years 4 Months 2 Weeks 6 Days 7 Hours give or take 10 or 15 Seconds.

Hanginthere

Its All to do with what your comfortable with, You would probably only regret it if you forced yourself to. Its ironic but having confidence is only pretending that you do. Which im learning now, As you thinkyourself as a better person you will see yourself as a better person

j0e9o

tbh u need to chill take time to smell the roses not worry about what is expected of you that way it will happen when you're ready and always remember if you're not ready you always have a choice

bottom line enjoy life and have fun

Aava

I was 17 when I had my first boyfriend... in case you give a hoot.

Anywayz, I don't think it matters at all if you haven't been with a girl/boy, whatever age you are. I personally don't care about people's relationship status, we all find partners at different times in our life.

Ren0

Gordon wrote:

Ren0 no personal attacks please.

Sorry.

Victor

THE_Chris2 wrote:

At what age is it wholly unacceptable to have not been with a girl????

Dead.

bp_me

Just thought I would give my two cents.

I'm 19 and have never had a girlfriend, nor am I particularly interested in finding anyone at the moment.

I would like to point out that this is not because I avoid female contact, as I have a relatively healthy social life, I'm just too busy with work and college and other social activities at the moment.

Personally, I would rather have good friends, who I can just be happy and myself around, I don't feel the need for the "stuff" that is inherrently implied by having a girlfriend (maybe you can guess, but I'm not big on commitment of any kind).

Shewhomustbe...

I absolutely agree that it is a personal choice whether or not to have a relationship with someone, I mean there's no point if you'd just cause more harm then good (i.e. being that you aren't really in the place for one,though I do find the money and mental health excuses a tad insulting, men are just as HIGH MAINTANENCE)

However, I have a friend, now in their late twenties, who (to the best of my knowledge) has never been near a woman. He goes on about women he's found attractive, women he's supposedly been very interested in and the ones who got away (because he never asked them out) Yes, I know men can be shy and so on but he has so many times had women ask him out, talk to him in the flirtatious you ask me out way, friends with interested friends and has never once done anything about it, yet claims to want to meet someone.

I find this really frustrating, I'm not trying to push him into a relationship of any kind but he keeps bringing it up. Been friends with him for 14 years and my patience is wearing very thin.

Victor

Victor wrote:

Dead.

Let me explain. I've had some comment on this.

One of my best friends was Anton. We were all fairly sure he was a virgin. He just came across that way. He'd had a long term girlfriend back home, but when he moved to Dublin (when he was about 24), I think she moved on. Anyway, one day we all get an e-mail along the lines of "Oh what a beautiful day it is." Anton had shagged one of the girls from work, a student doing work experience, and this went on for a few months. She moved back to college and while they weren't quite together they kept in contact.

Anton died on 1 March 2000 from epilepsy. But at least he got some. Now original poster, I suggest you get some at some stage in your life, but it isn't the be all and end all. Enjoy life and it will happen. Think about it too much and it won't happen any sooner.

Antisocialiser

And you would know what exactly?

Must have hit a nerve

Gordon

With your trolling trout?

tribble

Shewhomustbe... wrote:

I do find the money and mental health excuses a tad insulting, men are just as HIGH MAINTANENCE)

Ah come on now.
Womens lib hasn't yet swung the full circle. Having a girlfriend is a bit like owning an Italian car fun, fun, fun but high maintanence.

Memnoch

was 19 meself when one of the hottest girls in my class asked me out, almost 5 years later and we are still together and happy as reproducing rabbits.

she was also the first girl i'd been with

Though the mental hospital idea sounds appealing :P

OfflerCrocGod

Victor wrote:

But at least he got some. Now original poster, I suggest you get some at some stage in your life, but it isn't the be all and end all. Enjoy life and it will happen. Think about it too much and it won't happen any sooner.

*Offler breaks into cold sweat.