Ten Worst films of all time?

Loomer

How bout this. One could put a HBO True story of the week but thats too easy. I wanna see Big Budget over-hyped Hollywood stinkers but hey just your thoughts ill be fine.
Heres mine:

1. Navy Seals (Without a doubt the worst film I've ever seen, This movie should of been called Cliches)
2. C0cktail (A movie about barmen, gee what a great idea)
3. From Dusk to Dawn (So many things I hate about this film I don't know where to start.)
4. Intersection (Richard Gere as his typecast wooden self)
5. Wolf (Awful)
6. Gone in 60 Seconds (Nice Cars - If the Lambourghini Diablo was in it more it might of escaped my list)
7. Mission Impossible (The funniest moment in my movie-going experience when Cruise is blown onto a highspeed train and someone roared out "What a load of Bullshlt")
8. Matrix (This for me is the most-overated film in history. I tried to watch it a second time and had to turn it off)
9. Malice (A good supplement for sleeping pills)
10. Spies Like Us (Haha, Funny! oh hold on, its not!)

[This message has been edited by Loomer (edited 15-08-2001).]

WhiteWashMan

how could you miss out classics like
spawn
the whole nine yards
all the star trek films
all of kubricks films
anything with antonio banderos
oh, the list is endless

in fact the only good film out in the last 5 years was thomas and the magic roundabout.
and MI:2

Illkillya

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Loomer:
1. Navy Seals
4. Intersection (Richard Gere as his typecast wooden self)
9. Malice (A good supplement for sleeping pills)
6. Gone in 60 Seconds (Nice Cars - If the Lambourghini Diablo was in it more it might of escaped my list)
</font>

i never saw these

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
2. C0cktail (A movie about barmen, gee what a great idea)</font>

nowhere near my 10 worst movies list... it was cool how they actually did the action making the drinks

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
3. From Dusk to Dawn (So many things I hate about this film I don't know where to start.)5. Wolf (Awful)</font>

i agree

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
7. Mission Impossible (The funniest moment in my movie-going experience when Cruise is blown onto a highspeed train and someone roared out "What a load of Bullshlt")
</font>

i disagree

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">8. Matrix (This for me is the most-overated film in history. I tried to watch it a second time and had to turn it off)</font>

if you think it is the most overrated film in history, that doesn't make it one of the worst. this was a great quality film, a good plot, surprisingly good acting considering keanu is in it, very original, great action scenes. i think you're putting it here for effect

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
10. Spies Like Us (Haha, Funny! oh hold on, its not!)</font>

i thought it was funny.

how could you leave out kevin costner?
The Postman is surely a contender for the no.1 spot on anyones list.. or waterworld or something.
i saw a film recently with John travolta called Battlefield Earth that was terrible.
usually when i know a film is going to be awful i turn it off, so i know theres a lot of very bad films that i'm leaving out

[This message has been edited by Illkillya (edited 15-08-2001).]

Loomer

No I really hated The Matrix. As lazy as I am I prefered to stop it in the middle, rewind it eject it and take it back to the video store at a loss of £2. If you don't think that the plot was so full of holes I have nice tower for sale in Paris. Made by Eifel it can be yours for a million. Payment in advance. I enjoyed the action scenes granted but the weight of the majority of peoples reaction to it being the best fim Evooooor push into my list as overall I think so many aspects of it as a film are weak.

Karl Hungus

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by WhiteWashMan:

all the star trek films
all of kubricks films
</font>

Oh! MAN!

The star trek films were hardly the worst!
And the 6th one was a truly fantastic film.
Not to mention that lovely self parody this is Star Trek 4!

And ALL of Kubricks films? Surely 2001: A Space Oddysee is a GOOD film... And The Shining is a classic!

b20uvkft6m5xwg

FAO: WhiteWashMan

The Kubrick Thing baffles me!!
He was a great film maker and obviously (I stand to be corrected)you have not seen all of his films.

Even though I know alot of ppl disliked Eyes Wide Shut (I thought it was xlnt ), Full Metal Jacket is the marker of all war films since.

My advice, head down to your Local Vid. Store and see them again !!

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80p.
SAVE CHIP !!

nesf

The Kubrik thing can be explained very easily, he's not for everyone.

For instance Full Metal Jacket is not rated as high as Platoon, by some ppl I know, because all they care about is action.

Loomer!! You forgot Showgirls!!

From Dusk till Dawn wasn't the worst, Dracula 2001 was horrible, Vampires was prettuy bad also.

And now for some dodgy cult horror flicks...
(drumroll)
The Gate I&II
<Insert beginning of title here> of the Living Dead <Insert no between 1 and 10 here>
etc.

The Matrix had alot of wholes, but I must admit I enjoyed it, its better than alot of the **** put out by hollywood lately. Battlefield Earth was painful to watch, I'd rank it far lower then the matrix.

b20uvkft6m5xwg

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by nesf:
The Kubrik thing can be explained very easily, he's not for everyone.

</font>

I accept this fully, but to include his films in the top ten worst of all time is just crazy. Maybe WWMan should have a look in @ whats on RTE @ the moment...

"Daylight" w/ Sly Stallone.

Now that has to rank up w/ the worst

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80p.
SAVE CHIP !!

Kali

Any film hulk hogan is in.

perhaps this thread should have been called overrated films.

smoke.me.a.kipper

im too lazy to do any thinking right now, so ill just say 2 films which i saw recently at the cinema.

1) Peaches
This gets smak's 'you wasted 2 hours of my life and i want them back' award. What the ****? the guy bought a new jacket. some girl moved away. THATS IT??

2) The Hole
Oh christ. just terrible.

BlitzKrieg

Jingle all the way....Oh god this was bad...

Daylight I agree totally its terrible


Star trek films... Well 1,5,9 are ****
2,3,6,7,8 were good i thought (they werent ground breaking yet enjoyable)

4. Was a fcuking blast. Whales save the world

I actually h8 mission impossible 2 i like the 1st one (it was like he series and was semi intelligent in its covert twists an turns) But 2 was like a crappy james bond film without the english charm or decent bad guy. Useless film.

TwoShedsJackson

No. 1 with a bullet for me is Forrest Gump. Nauseating, sentimental, hypocritical, Imperialist Amero-centric $hite. Vile.

Others that are up there would be Cyborg (the JC Van Damme yawn fest), Salute Of The Jugger, Raise The Titanic, Raising Cain, Pearl Harbour, Hannibal, Eyes Wide Shut.

I don't comprehend how anyone can go see something like Peaches, Dude Where's My Car?, or Deuce Bigalow - Male Gigolo. Not possible.

Dont be at yourself

I liked Cocktail, From Dusk Till Dawn, all those kubrick films.

Anyway, the wost film ever (which should be shot into the sun for crimes against the human race) is Escape From L.A.

Then there's stuff like Titanic, Pearl Harbour, Total Recall (so sue me :P), anything with Jean Claude Van Dam or Steven Segal, Hony I Shrunk The Kids series, The Punisher, The Phantom and a few others.

I could go on, but there are far too many bad films to list

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Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers.

[This message has been edited by NekkidBibleMan (edited 16-08-2001).]

azezil

1.Roller ball ... just awful

2.Flintstones (both) ... not explanation required!

3.Star Trek V ... I love ST but that just stank!

4.The final nightmare on Elm Street ... forget the name but OMG what a lod of shíte!!!

5. Loser ... that film associated with the song 'teenage dirtbag', dirt!

6. Plan 9 from outer space (or whatever its called)

7. Attack of the killer tomatoes ... big tomatoes rolling around killing ppl, oh come on.

8. Flash Gordan ... I just hate old films

i'll add more when i think of em....

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"just because you're not paraniod, doesn't mean they're not after you!"

Loomer

Your Right NBM Escape from New York/L.A. were truly awful, but hey John Carpenter doesnt seem to give a **** if he makes a stinker coz he just keeps on churning them out. In fairness he did a remake which is one of my all time favourite horror films, The Thing ( from outer space).

WhiteWashMan

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by 80project.com:
I accept this fully, but to include his films in the top ten worst of all time is just crazy. Maybe WWMan should have a look in @ whats on RTE @ the moment...


</font>

maybe 80project.com would like to pay my plane ticket to ireland i might just do that.
and maybe he also ought to get a bit of originality.
just because i dont like any of stanly kubricks films, doesnt mean i want to go down and rent them out again. in fact, if i dont like them, im hardly going to go out and rent them, am i now?
i dont like kubrick becuase most of them are a load of directorial; masturbation.
2001:space oddessy has to be one of the most boring films of all time. the shining was alright, but comapred to the book it was nothing. full metal jacket was also alright, but again, but yes, i though stones platoon was far more interesting (yes, the action sequences were better) and just over all better.
i dont go and see films so that i may become a wholesome human being, i go to see movies because i want to be entertained.
if im not entertained, then the film has failed.
easy.
kubricks films have not entertained me.
is that clear.
am i allowed to have my opinion now i have explained it?
dont patronise me with your arty farty run of the mill opinions please.
bored now.

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your Dungeon Is Full Of Yoghurt.....

bonkey

You guys cant be serious?

10 worst films of all time, 15 posts in, and no-one has mentioned Ishtar? I'm sadly disappointed.

As with the list of "worlds best movies", Im amazed how 99% of the ones listed are all big-name movies, and pretty much all of them are recent (last 15 years).

You guys dont watch enough B movies

jc

ObeyGiant

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Carpenter doesnt seem to give a **** if he makes a stinker coz he just keeps on churning them out</font>

I really don't know why people keep insisting that John Carpenter's films are bad. His films are all very stylish, perhaps to the point where they alienate certain parts of his audience that can't handle his style (See the votes for Escape from NY/LA above).

He has done a lot for films - He basically introduced the slasher genre (at least introducing the "rules" listed in Scream)with Halloween.. Actually, almost all of his horror movies have been amazing .. The Fog, The Thing, Christine... his non-horror work has all been much better than a lot of the tripe thrown around by "big name" directors.. Big Trouble in Little China, Starman.

Hell.. anyone that's ever enjoyed Duke Nukem owes John Carpenter a debt of Gratitude.

Enygma

Anyone ever seen a movie called "So Fscking What?"

There you go....

Kix

As bonkey says, the trouble with a list like this is that the 10 very worst films ever, in fact probably 10000 worst films ever, have probably never been seen by anyone on Boards.

Much easier to say "films that I hated with a burning, seething passion". Two that spring readily to mind for me would have to be:

1. Billy Elliot [ngggggaaaaa!!!!]
2. The English Patient [aieeeeeeeeeee!!!!]

I hated those films. Real, true hatred. I spent the time I was watching them with my fists clenched and my backside burrowing into the cinema seat looking for a way to escape. If I was on my own I would have left the cinema, walked out. But the people I was with (well some of them) liked those films, thought they were great.

Taste is a very subjective thing, by definition.

K

Lucutus

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Loomer:
If you don't think that the plot was so full of holes I have nice tower for sale in Paris</font>

Tell us the plot holes then? Make your point AND back it up. I'm really interested to hear what exactly they are and why they are holes.

Lucutus

smoke.me.a.kipper

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by BlitzKrieg:
Star trek films... Well 1,5,9 are ****
2,3,6,7,8 were good i thought (they werent ground breaking yet enjoyable)

4. Was a fcuking blast. Whales save the world
</font>

[inane trek rant]
OK i agree 1 and 5 were ****, but what about 3 and 7?? 9 wasnt nearly as bad as them.
[/inane trek rant]

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Miguel_Sanchez

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Enygma:
Anyone ever seen a movie called "So Fscking What?"

There you go....</font>

Oh God Lord YES!!!!!

That film was such utter tripe. Still though I paid my money to rent it and I was snowed in at my house in America so I watched it all the way through.

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You can imagine where it goes from here. --- He fixes the cable?

klong

Loser- quite definetely YES
Titanic- complete and utter sh!te
I'll consider the rest later.

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The Boss

Loomer

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">Originally posted by Lucutus:
I'm really interested to hear what exactly they are and why they are holes.

Lucutus</font>

You want the holes, You can't handle the holes!!!. I deride you hole-handling capabilities.

But Seriously, there were, but I'm leaving work now, too tired to think. Will post them later.

hmmm

Species II was also a superb example of why 14 year olds shouldn't make films.

Loomer

The Matrix Plot Hole No 1. (as requested by Lucutus )

They can do whatever their minds can consider, right, especially Neo? Why not just think the enemy dead? Why dodge bullets when you could make them cease to exist?

Loomer

The Matrix Plot Hole No 2.

Totally flimsy background premise regarding the matrix concept itself and the "human-battery" concept. (Which I must add is fired past you at terrific speed in the hope that you will just sit docile and not question its farcicality)

First of all, if sunlight is blocked out, ALL life will die on earth. So what gives, Are the aliens keeping the humans alive artificially to use there energy. Hang on a minute. That would take huge amounts of energy. Which would negate the humans as a source of energy, Don't ya think.

Secondly,If the humans are in the chambers, in sensory deprivation, from infancy, how is it possible that a mind or consciousness could develop to necessitate a 'matrix'.

Thirdly, ever hear of muscle atrophy? I think Keanu would have to spend months in therapy before he could crawl after spending his entire life in a cocoon.

P.S. If your one of these people that even thinks for a second, "Hey, maybe theres more to this than meets the eye"
You've either:
A. Taken too many drugs
B. Dropped out of college and are working at McDonalds/Supermacs/et al
C. Are on the verge of insanity
D. All of the above

[This message has been edited by Loomer (edited 16-08-2001).]

Loomer

Here is a review of The Matrix I found which pretty much sums up my thoughts on the film, enjoy!

<font face="Verdana, Arial" size="2">
The directors of "The Matrix" mistake style for dark, depressing sets and gloomy-looking people uttering mumbo-jumbo about "The One". The film has an imaginative and wonderfully paranoid premise: What if the world we live in is not what we think it is, but an illusion created by malevolent beings. Unfortunately, we are subjected to stupid training segments for Reeves by the resistance (an ill-concieved concept all in its own), complete with an inane kickboxing sequence, in which the combatants fly through the air, impressing the half-wits in the audience, while we with IQ's over 50 just sit and yawn. The special effects are more laughable than spectacular. Seeing a bullet fly by some guy in slow motion is certainly not amazing. The movie could have been so much better if it had had a better script, and omitted every scene "outside reality" I guess. All in all, this is science fiction for cavemen.
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Dont be at yourself

isn't there an unwritten 'rule' that every odd numbered trek film is bad, and every even numbered one is good?

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Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers.

Spunog UIE

Angela's Ashes... my god you wanna kill kill kill after that fúckin film. it has to be the most boring piece of **** ever...and there was a van damme film ( i don't htink there all bad) but this one was like an underground fighting compo' and in the end he was like to this big american guy i love you man it was worse you know it, you do!