Why do people hate Bi-Sexuals.

keu

WHY THE F*CK DO YOU THINK THAT STRAIGHT MEN AREN'T PROMISCIOUS???

eh..no more so than straight women. I'm sure you expect your GF/BF to be faithful to you.

claire h

Emboss wrote:

These are not medical conditions, well I consider being gay a mental disorder so I guess in a way it is.

ok not act like a man, but turn down the girly squeeks then.

Um... that first bit... you're not serious, are you?

Also, that second bit... sex is biological, gender is a social construct, and if someone doesn't act as "masculine" (as you perceive masculinity) as you feel they should be, that's your problem, not theirs.

Keu wrote:

Now..perhaps I am biased, but in my comprehension to be bi sexual, is to desire sex with both genders, whether that means you share relationships on a weekly basis, or have a long term relationship which allows promiscuity in order to feed those desires. If two people agree to that then more power to them.

No, no, NO. That is not what bisexuality means. Bisexuality does not equal needing two sexual partners. That's bisexual promiscuity, which is entirely different.

Bisexuality means that you are attracted to both sexes. Heterosexuality means being attracted to the opposite sex - but it doesn't mean that you are attracted to *everyone* of that sex. It means you are - generally - attracted to one person. And guess what? Bisexuality is the same. You are - generally - attracted to one person. The difference is that the person you are attracted to may not be of the same gender as the last person you were attracted to, or the same gender as the next person you're going to be attracted to. Bisexuality does not affect the frequency of attraction. Some bisexuals will fall in love every other day - just like some heterosexuals and some homosexuals. Others will fall for people infrequently and spend their lives with one person. I hope that clears up some of the misconceptions around here.

qwertyphobia

Not sure if it will clear up the miss-conceptions Clare some people seam VERY ditermined to hold onto their misconceptions on this thread.

I am a Bi guy have been out about it for 13 years so It's hardly a phase. Most of my relationships have been with guys but the last one and my present one have been with women. The relationship I am in now and going on four years happens to be with a bi women. I do not need to be with any other person of either sex to have furfillment, my sexual energy is directed towards my partner. I don't feel like I am missing something by not have sex with men at the moment, why would I my sexual needs/desires are getting meet.

Bisexuality isn't some handy little box. You will find as many different interprutions of what bisexuality is as you will find bisexuals. For some people they find they have more of an attraction for one sex then the other for others they maybe fairly equaly attrached to both sexs others may find that it's something that changes with time and some are just attrached to people and the sex of the person is just one component along with hairstyle, personality and all the other things that spark our attraction to someone.

Just incase you haven't got the point yet. Just because what I say below here about what my bisexuality means to me that doesn't mean that it has much bearing on how other bisexuals view their own bisexuality

For me I have come to realise if I have been single for a while the sex of the person I am attrached to is a bit down the list of why I am attrached to them. I can find many people attractive for alsorts of reasons. But there has always been this certain look/attuide of men that I find realy attractive and likewise there is this similar core group of women I always find attractive, this is much more about personal taste then sexuality.

If I am in a relationship with someone this slowly seams to change. Lets say I am with a guy what happens is the type of guys I find attractive seams to widen out from this quite small group to include lots of other types of guys. I compare this to using a muscle the more excerise I give it the stronger it gets, so by being with a guy and having most of my sexual energy directed towards a certain man I start to appreaciate the male phyisic more in it's more varried forms. My attraction to women at the same time may drop to the extent that i don't find as many women walking down the street attractive but there is still that group of women that will allways be able to trigger my attraction. If I am with a women the oppisite happens I start noticing women more and my attraction to men returns to just that small group of men that I always find stunning.

For me thats what I have noticed. I have had open relationships, flings, one night stands, monogous relationships at different points in my life. But now i am quite happy and contented to be with my present partner and have no desires to be with anyone else.

keu

No, no, NO. That is not what bisexuality means. Bisexuality does not equal needing two sexual partners. That's bisexual promiscuity, which is entirely different.

I like your explanation. It's a pity some of the others here who so adamantly push this issue, don't get it. There was one particular post (which I can't find, perhaps it was deleted) which promoted the suggestion that some friends of his were a happily married couple who enjoyed allowing each other to indulge in same sex relationships in addition to their marriage, just to add spice I suppose. (and also added this didn't mean they weren't monogamous.)

Bisexuality means that you are attracted to both sexes.

This is just being human. To find qualities in both sexes which you are attracted to is the most basic function of the human condition.
I don't personally believe it nessecitates a sexual relationship though.

Boston

keu wrote:

I like your explanation. It's a pity some of the others here who so adamantly push this issue, don't get it.

Whats not to get, thats blindingly obvious, and a fact you denied. I was tempted you use sock puppets and a black board to get this message accross to you.

There was one particular post (which I can't find, perhaps it was deleted) which promoted the suggestion that some friends of his were a happily married couple who enjoyed allowing each other to indulge in same sex relationships in addition to their marriage, just to add spice I suppose. (and also added this didn't mean they weren't monogamous.)

The reason you can't find it is because that not what he Said.

This is just being human. To find qualities in both sexes which you are attracted to is the most basic function of the human condition.
I don't personally believe it nessecitates a sexual relationship though.

Yet, in all your post you have not as yet said what is so wrong with being with someone. While I agreed we all pratice a certain amounth of restraint, for many reasons, there is no reason why to consenting adults shouldn't go at it.

keu

Whats not to get, thats blindingly obvious, and a fact you denied. I was tempted you use sock puppets and a black board to get this message accross to you.

you didn't portray this ideaology Boston.

Yet, in all your post you have not as yet said what is so wrong with being with someone. While I agreed we all pratice a certain amounth of restraint, for many reasons, there is no reason why to consenting adults shouldn't go at it.

I don't know what bit you don't get..I love my sister, that doesn't mean I want to sleep with her. I have no issue If consenting adults feel that they would like to take platonic relationships further. My original post stated I have no interest in being with someone who is bi-sexual, (in a sexual way) never suggested it wasn't allowed or ok for others..you did ask peoples personal opinions remember?

claire h

keu wrote:

This is just being human. To find qualities in both sexes which you are attracted to is the most basic function of the human condition.
I don't personally believe it nessecitates a sexual relationship though.

Sexual attraction is part of attraction. I wouldn't consider someone who found "qualities in both sexes which they were attracted to" but had absolutely no interest in a sexual relationship with one gender, while having an interest in sexual relationships with the other gender, bisexual.

Boston

what ideaology? That getting your end away is different then sexuallity. That just cause someone can do something doesn't mean they will or should. The fact is you've changed your view point. At the start you denied that bi-sexuals can remain faithful. Now you agree that promiscuity and Bi-sexuality are not mutually inclusive. That seems like a change to me.

I don't know what bit you don't get..I love my sister, that doesn't mean I want to sleep with her. I have no issue If consenting adults feel that they would like to take platonic relationships further.

platonic Love is very didn't then the kind of love where talking about here. Why are you bringing it into the topic.

keu

Sexual attraction is part of attraction.

so you get physically turned on by say..an intelligent sensative woman?

k..here is where I differ. I recognise when I meet someone if there is an attraction there, a click to so speak, but it doesn't become sexual, it evolves into admiration or respect or someones company I thoroughly enjoy.
I understand these are particular aspects which most people seek in any relationship, be they platonic or sexual, but I don't partner (sexually) the first human being who fits my "ideals" of a good decent human being, male or female.

I don't have issues expressing my love for both sexes, but maybe I see "love" and "attraction" as two different things....and yes, love can be very powerful.

hope I'm being understood.

keu

Boston..I'm putting you on ignore.

Boston

keu wrote:

Boston..I'm putting you on ignore.

For what exactly, cause I point out flaws in your logic, and contradictions in your statements. You know if you can't take the heat get out of the fire. It seems to me the reason you wish to classify Bi-sexuals into your little box is because you trying so hard to classify yourself into another little Box called heterosexuality, why is that. Anyway I'm off now to have Same Sex relations with half of Dublin while leaving my pregnant, barefoot, girlfriend chained to the cooker in the kitchen, after a bout of domestic violence. Might start a new thread, "why lesbians hate moi".

claire h

keu wrote:

so you get physically turned on by say..an intelligent sensative woman?

k..here is where I differ. I recognise when I meet someone if there is an attraction there, a click to so speak, but it doesn't become sexual, it evolves into admiration or respect or someones company I thoroughly enjoy.
I understand these are particular aspects which most people seek in any relationship, be they platonic or sexual, but I don't partner (sexually) the first human being who fits my "ideals" of a good decent human being, male or female.

I don't have issues expressing my love for both sexes, but maybe I see "love" and "attraction" as two different things....and yes, love can be very powerful.

hope I'm being understood.

Intelligent sensitive women? Turned on? Hell yes.

I guess my point was more that if you're going to call something "attraction", I think it makes more sense to specify when it's a platonic attraction rather than having "attraction" be an umbrella term for both platonic and sexual attraction, as "attraction" has connotations that go beyond platonic friendships.

And that it's the sort of attraction that isn't platonic that qualifies as the sort of attraction that helps people determine their own sexuality. Or, when the feelings are more serious, it's being "in love with" someone as opposed to "loving someone".

keu

sexy arent I?

...(just kidding) sorry for asking so many questions and I know I've been blunt but I just felt there were areas that needed clearing up.

Victor

Emboss wrote:

I don't mind them at all, well as much as I don't mind gay men who don't pardon the pun put it in my face ... why does what people do in the bedroom have to be advertised with clothes/squeeky voices your a man, you shag men, but still be a man.

Would you (to put words in your mouth) be complaining of people who are excessively and artificially camp? People that make "Karen Walker Finster"* and "Jack McFarland" socially acceptable?

keu wrote:

so you get physically turned on by say..an intelligent sensative woman?

Yes, being intelligent and sensative can be a turn on, especially when the alternative is an ignorant cow that scouls "What are you lookin' at?"

* "Will & Grace" http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0157246/

fozzle

Memnoch wrote:

I personally have always believed that being gay or straight or bi is a choice people make, and in my opinion have every right to make, as its their own business etc. But off course people who think that they are gay because they are "born" gay and always were, take great offence to this line of thought :P

I'm sorry, but do you honestly believe that someone would wake up one day and say "I think I'll be gay/bi", if they had any idea of the amount of stress involved with being accepted? I got bullied enough in school when people thought I was straight, why would I choose to open myself to more of the same? Sexuality isn't something you can choose. The choice is in weather you will admit your sexuality (whatever it may be) or if you will force yourself to fit a stereotype that just isn't you.

keu

eh..dunno who took away my response to Boston..so just to repeat.
no..I'm putting you on ignore because your an eejit. (especially when you make remarks like this:Anyway I'm off now to have Same Sex relations with half of Dublin while leaving my pregnant, barefoot, girlfriend chained to the cooker in the kitchen, after a bout of domestic violence. Might start a new thread, "why lesbians hate moi".

lesbians probably hate you because your the epitome of all thats disgusting in the male of the species, in fact I'm sure you have the ability to turn many hetrosexual women gay.

Stark

I deleted your comment for off-topic abuse towards another poster. A second time will gain you a week's ban from this forum.

I believe Boston was being satirical when he made that comment, an exaggerated example of what some people's conceptions of bisexuals.

fozzle

keu wrote:

in fact I'm sure you have the ability to turn many hetrosexual women gay.

Don't be a fool. It's very insulting that you so blatantly ignore what people here say to you. You can't be "turned gay" just like that. Boston wasn't being serious, he was just applying the same kind of missconception of gays as you were, in an attempt to make you see how ludicrous it is. It obviously didn't work.

keu

I believe Boston was being satirical when he made that comment, an exaggerated example of what some people's conceptions of bisexuals.

you mean its ok for him to insult me for my reasons, insinuate I'm a lesbian but its not ok for me to call him a fool.
Can understand why there is so much hatred twowards the gay community when such double standrads prevail.

I almost feel justified enough to call you fags.
(I'm sure if i did I would be banned)

monument

keu wrote:

so you get physically turned on by say..an intelligent sensative woman?

Combined with other things, yes.

Keu, I get the feeling you’re not telling us something about why you feel so bitter towards the idea a person can be bi-sexual people (beyond the normal reasons) – maybe I’m wrong?.

Stark

Since when did he call you a lesbian?

you mean its ok for him to insult me for my reasons

It's hard not to insult you when you start throwing a hissy fit in response to valid counter argument.

I almost feel justified enough to call you fags.
(I'm sure if i did I would be banned)

Do you want to be banned? Why are you participating in the thread in the first place if you have no interest in other people's views?

keu

Boston wrote:

You've demintrated far more sexual deviatant behaviour then moi in the thread, what with you bed hoping story.

not only did he take my views out of context, he has been deliberately trying to suggest I'm gay (I'm sure he may wish this was the case)

Do you want to be banned? Why are you participating in the thread in the first place if you have no interest in other people's views?

I responded to the question that Boston originally proposed, how would you feel. I gave an honest answer. I understand my answer is not sufficient to please you lot. and for the record I have appreciated the views of particular posters, clair h and querty made their points very well without reducing her views as insults towards me.

Keu, I get the feeling you’re not telling us something about why you feel so bitter towards the idea a person can be bi-sexual people (beyond the normal reasons) – maybe I’m wrong?.

I don't think I'm being bitter towards bi-sexuals, its funny though how you feel there is an underlying cause...could I perhaps be bi-sexual and unable to admit it....oooooh.

No, I'm just a bad evil hetrosexual trying to take over the planet.

keu

It's hard not to insult you when you start throwing a hissy fit in response to valid counter argument.

show me the hissy fits, because from my perspective, both damien m and boston have been the ones getting abusive towards people with differing opinions.

monument

keu wrote:

I don't think I'm being bitter towards bi-sexuals, its funny though how you feel there is an underlying cause...could I perhaps be bi-sexual and unable to admit it....oooooh.

No, I'm just a bad evil hetrosexual trying to take over the planet.

No, I was thinking of other underlying causes, but never mind.

Stark wrote:

Since when did he call you a lesbian?

Me? I don’t think he has. And I can’t see how I could be – possible in another life?

However, if it can be a large part of attraction for a heterosexual, I can’t see why it cannot be for any other person with any other sexual preference. I probably should have gone into detail in my other post.

angeldelight

I don't have a problem with them or know anyone who does... I actually think it's pretty interesting. Going out with sum1 who was bi could be little daunting though, you'd have double the worries of him going off wit sum1 else lol

ixoy

keu wrote:

I responded to the question that Boston originally proposed, how would you feel. I gave an honest answer. I understand my answer is not sufficient to please you lot. and for the record I have appreciated the views of particular posters, clair h and querty made their points very well without reducing her views as insults towards me.

OK see what the problem is that this is a forum. If something is said, we want to have the right to cordially reply. What gets up people's noses though is when someone, despite evidence being handed to them, refuses to budge or shift their viewpoint and instead does the virtual equivalent of sticking two fingers in their ear and chanting "I'm not listening". Some of your original posts showed a very false image of bisexuals and when you seemed to refuse to understand why we were saying they were false, you got some irritated replies. Now the debate hasn't yet turned into flames but if you do suddenly lash out petutantly and call us "fags" then your role in the debate will end - you will be banned. That goes for anyone using such hate-filled terms.

No, I'm just a bad evil hetrosexual trying to take over the planet.

See saying stuff like that doesn't help you. It just undermines what you're saying because it makes you seem like you're lashing out. Noone's accusing you of anything other than some ignorance on what bisexuality is. I don't think for a second you have some vendetta and I doubt anyone else does.

Just to be clear - stop personal insults on all sides. It's not only childish, it's tiresome and I don't want to be irritated.

Boston

keu wrote:

I believe Boston was being satirical when he made that comment, an exaggerated example of what some people's conceptions of bisexuals.

you mean its ok for him to insult me for my reasons, insinuate I'm a lesbian but its not ok for me to call him a fool.
Can understand why there is so much hatred twowards the gay community when such double standrads prevail.

I almost feel justified enough to call you fags.
(I'm sure if i did I would be banned)

Couple of points.

You actually said You've left you'r parnter, father of your five year old child, this type of behaviour is a little odd to say the least. Of course it's easy to have a non sexual relationship you'r getting yours elsewhere. How exactly do you think she felt about this hold thing? If your partner was doing the same thing with a guy you label him a fag, wouldn't you. Cause men only have one thing on their mind. He am I to call you a lesbian, I've no understand of the love that exist between two women, platonic or other wise. In the same fashion you have no idea and never will of the love that can exist between two men, platonic or otherwise. Also suppose i call you a lesbian, whats so insulting about that. Thats the problem here, your mind set is as if some how being a lesbian is something so insulting.


Anyways.

angeldelight wrote:

I actually think it's pretty interesting. Going out with sum1 who was bi could be little daunting though, you'd have double the worries of him going off wit sum1 else lol

First can I ask, are you a guy or a Girl. Would you be worried in the sense, and I'll mess up describing this, he would be spending allot of time around guys (perfectly natural when your a guy) friends sports and the like, and the oppertunity would be greater to cheat. Most guys would find it difficult to explain to the Grilfriend that they are going out with a group of young attractive ladies for a night, that they talk to these ladies about there relationships, and that these ladies know the guy allot longer then the GF. So maybe its the same way for girls when there bi boyfriends says he's going out with aload of guys, is this the thought process? just trying to see it from a woman's point of view.

keu

You actually said You've left you'r parnter, father of your five year old child, this type of behaviour is a little odd to say the least. Of course it's easy to have a non sexual relationship you'r getting yours elsewhere. How exactly do you think she felt about this hold thing? If your partner was doing the same thing with a guy you label him a fag, wouldn't you. Cause men only have one thing on their mind. He am I to call you a lesbian, I've no understand of the love that exist between two women, platonic or other wise. In the same fashion you have no idea and never will of the love that can exist between two men, platonic or otherwise. Also suppose i call you a lesbian, whats so insulting about that. Thats the problem here, your mind set is as if some how being a lesbian is something so insulting.

I left my 10 year old daughters father after 5 years of abuse (physical-the last straw came when I was hospitalised). He lives in the states and is currently married. He was jealous of my relationship with my friend, who I have known since I was five. I don't understand the how having a non sexual relationship when your getting yours elswhere applies in this situation. Are you suggesting I was getting off with my friend? I beg to differ, I continued having a platonic relationship with her while with my partner (we still went out together and enjoyed the social life I had before becomming a parent..albeit to a lesser degree).
We had shared a flat together for two years as my kids father had no intention of providing for either of us financially. Such insinuations are sickening.
How did my friend feel, she hated his guts because she knew he was a prick and knew I was staying with him for my childs sake.
Would I call my bloke a fag if did the same thing? He stayed up most nights with his friends drinking or smoking dope...I shared my friends company in the same way (without the drinking or smoking) its got sfa to do with fags lesbians or bi sexuality, but you continue to suggest it does.
In the same fashion how could I know the love that can exist between a man and a man, I am a woman. You seem to think I have issues that two men can love each other in a complete and fullfilling way. Your wrong. and that was never the issue here.
I find the fact that you continue to call me a lesbian to support your own ideals insulting, not least because it is completely untrue.

he would be spending allot of time around guys (perfectly natural when your a guy)

funny..because you seem to think that for me spending my time around my female friends is a little odd to say the least.

Boston

Listen love I haven't called you a lesbian once. Also I deal with the facts as you lay them out in this thread. When I said you leaving for partner, I meant leaving his bed to getting into bed with your friend, and that was what I was asking how she felt about sharing her bed with yourself. I haven't a clue why your ranting on about abuse, slitting up, and what ever the hell else.

Boston

keu wrote:

funny..because you seem to think that for me spending my time around my female friends is a little odd to say the least.

Love I've explained why this is odd.