How to suggest...

LegacyUser

ok, gonna cut to the chase - how do you suggest trying anal sex with your g/f?

I have been seeing my g/f for about 6 months and i wouldn't mind trying (i have never tried before)... im gonna assume she has never done it either.

Im interested in other peoples opinions as I am usually useless at these things...

Beruthiel

serious, on topic replies only please, or there'll be bannings
B

to poster:
you could just ask her

fitz

No point in eh, running rings around the topic...
Ask her, explaining that your curious, and that you're comfortable with her and are open to trying new things because of that.

Let us know how the hole scenario plays out...

Zulu

hummm, that whole asking thing dosen't always work out. I tried it once, and the poor girl looked at me as if I was a filthy perv. Suffice to say the topic was dropped quicker than a burning coal.

RossFixxxed

Excuse way: Say you saw a scale of "comfort" on the internet. It was a scale from 1 to 20. 20 was just talking about sex, no 1 was talking about <insert thing you want to do here>. Get her curious, and say "hey we can talk about these things right?". And see how she reacts to it.

Honest way: TBH though just get into a conversation about sex, and work up to asking her what she thinks of it as an idea.

Ross

cormie

I suggest you don't mention it. You just do it. When you're fooling around down below (try with your fingers first to get a reaction) if she seems to like it continue. If she seems to really like it do the opposite to continue (u in cont) and go for it;)

silverside

yeah she'll really like that :rolleyes: - "Oops sorry wrong hole" *slap across face*

MojoMaker

Next time you are having sex gently probe around her bum with your finger and try to gently insert it in her hole. You'll be able to gauge her reaction pretty much immediately, she'll either love it or hate it. If she doesn't like it you'll know straightaway and you can desist and dismiss it as an accident.

If she likes it (pretty good chance she will) then next step is easier to take yadda yadda.

cormie

Don't put your finger up it straight away (arousal is the name of the game) just rub over it to get her reaction. If she looks uncomfortable maybe ease off and in your next discussion (hopefully you have discussions to see what each partner finds stimulating, a must in a healthy sexual relationship) as her what she thought of you doing it. Which could lead to discussion on anal sex.

However, if she looks like she is enjoying it, continue. And if you have both been together for sometime. I doubt she will slap you.

Sarky

Unless you ask...

Look, you'll never find out unless you ask. If you want to be subtle about it, try bringing it up in conversation. If you want to be unsubtle, just ask her. You've been together six months, so you should at least know her well enough to know the best way to go about it.

azezil

Just a general question to all the straight guys... I'm curious, why would u want to do it?

Its not like she's going to enjoy it

cormie

nobody is 100% straight and nobody is 100% gay just so you know;)

It may be a turn on for him. There is a reason they have anal sex in porno films. Because it turns a certain audience on. They please the audience, they get money. That's their business.

I say practise then ask.

Sleepy

Originally posted by azezil
Its not like she's going to enjoy it

All depends on the curve of her cervix tbh Azezil, if it's curved the right way, anal sex places pressure on the clitoris (which you must remember only a very small part of is visible from the outside). Add that sensation to the feeling of "being naughty" or doing some taboo and you'll find that some women really get off on it...

Best approach is to ask her some of her fantasies, ask about what she'd like to try in bed. She'll probably ask for some of yours and then you can bring it up in conversation. That way, she gets some of her fantasies fulfilled (assuming they're things she'd actually like to try as opposed to just fantasizing about), you might get to try out yours and all around you end up with a healthier, more honest sex life. Think about it, how many things could she actually be interested in that you wouldn't enjoy or at least be curious enough about to give it a try once...

Just make sure to use plenty of lube. This cannot be stressed enough and if you've read up on the subject at all, you'll notice that every guide/article on the subject will say the same! The advice about using fingers first is good. IIRC Jenna Jameson wrote an article on the subject for Maxim magazine. It's probably on-line somewhere but I haven't time to google for it.

If she's not into the idea, don't pressure her, but if she's willing to give it a try remember: loads of lube, be gentle and have fun!

Zulu

Originally posted by azezil
Just a general question to all the straight guys... I'm curious, why would u want to do it?

Its not like she's going to enjoy it

That logic cold easily apply to a blow-job - but everybody loves them!?!?
The tighter the better perhaps? Maybe its a primal thing?

LegacyUser

Originally posted by Zulu
That logic cold easily apply to a blow-job - but everybody loves them!?!?
The tighter the better perhaps? Maybe its a primal thing?

well i think its back to the norman days . as that was the only way to have sex with the girl and not get her pregnant .

ye but the advice on probing with ur finger is a good way to do it . otherwise just ask her . im sure she will give a strait yes or no

LegacyUser

When I even move my hands ANYwhere near her rear during sex she looks at me all mad and stuff.
However I do find that she's more willing to please when I tease her a little.. Then I ask her how much she wants me...

snoopish

every person is different and no one here is going to know how to aproach this subject with your girlfriend seeing as know one here actually knows her. just go with what you know about your girlfriend you'll find your own way to suggest it.

The_Conductor

Why not sit down together with one of those purity test things- and take things from there? Getting onto the topic seems to be the most difficult thing for you- if you approach the topic with a broad sweep- you might get her feelings on the topic first, allowing you to decide whether you want to pursue it or not.

A suggestion...

LegacyUser

Is she open to discussing sex graphically? Have you asked her if she has fantasies? If so just ask. Talk to her about it.

If, on the other hand, she tends to avoid discussing anything too sexually graphic with you then don’t bother asking, just tentatively (so she has plenty of opportunity to tell you she’s not on for it) initiate whatever you want to try, next time you’re with her.

Some women are very open about their sexuality, and if you find one hold onto her, while some you just have to wave your cock in their faces for ten minutes before they get the hint.

LegacyUser

must say i got extremely lucky here, i had the same situation and then went to see a tommy tiernan show and he was talking about it and his last part was on anal sex so i took the conversation from there

drusilla

I can imagine if you straight into it you will always get a bad reaction. No girl likes to be surprised by a finger up the ass!!!!:dunno:

Just remember the poo factor here...are you sure you want to see that side of your relationship?

whosurpaddy

am i the only one who guessed the topic before i opened the thread?


seriously dont "surprise her, that can go wrong for many reasons. and have plenty of your lube of choice close to hand.

LegacyUser

so, i tried the ..."just rub over it to get her reaction" approach over the w/e and it appears to be a no-go area.

I didn't say anything though, she just politely moved my hand away at that particular moment in time (Silverside: there was no slaps accross the face ).

I think i'll pluck up some courage to talk about it - some good advice there about finding out her fantasies etc - this could also spice up the whole sex situation too (not that its not really good at the mo ).

Cormie - yes i think its a turn on for me - i reckon the best way to approach this could be to watch some porn with her...

Drusilla - "the poo factor" - correct - could be something I dont want to see, but im more willing to regret something I tried, than regretting not trying something.

azezil

Originally posted by Zulu
That logic cold easily apply to a blow-job - but everybody loves them!?!?
The tighter the better perhaps? Maybe its a primal thing?

meh i find it rather boring tbh... unless they get 'creative' with their tongue

LegacyUser

I would've liked a bit of anal with my last boyfriend but over the course of the relationship he mentioned a few times how disgusting he thought it was...so naturally I didn't pursue it.

The_Conductor

Some people tell you what they think its most appropriate that you hear- especially on things of a sexual nature. It could be that your ex felt that you would have felt intimidated if he had professed an interest in experimenting in anal sex? Then again, maybe not.... I suppose all matters sexual, one way or another, boil down to a matter of comfort- how comfortable and secure you feel with one another. Sex does not equal security- you need a foundation rock on which to build, based on core respect for one another, before security and easiness with one another kicks in.
There is no magic formula that you can apply liberally to all situations- unfortunately each and every situation is different, and the easiest thing in the world is to misunderstand each other. Understanding each other- ahhh, the age old conundrum.....



S.

LegacyUser

unsatisfied wrote:

I would've liked a bit of anal with my last boyfriend but over the course of the relationship he mentioned a few times how disgusting he thought it was...so naturally I didn't pursue it.

we should hook up then

LegacyUser

Hi,

Just picking up on what MojoMaker was saying earlier in the thread-

---

probe around her bum with your finger and try to gently insert it in her hole

---

A question aimed at the girls on the Board: If a girl very clearly enjoys having a finger inserted, is it safe to say she'd at least try anal?

Niall.

pretty-in-pink

Niall20 wrote:

Hi,

Just picking up on what MojoMaker was saying earlier in the thread-

---

probe around her bum with your finger and try to gently insert it in her hole

---

A question aimed at the girls on the Board: If a girl very clearly enjoys having a finger inserted, is it safe to say she'd at least try anal?

Niall.

No No heck No. never. its weird. u gotta be drunk and put on a guilt trip, caught by surprise its sore and icky. u cant poo without wanting to cry and u run the risk of getting the runs. a girl I know even bled.

Just dont do that to ur g/f. unless youd let her do it to you. but you willo nly learn by doing.............


ewwwwwwwwwwww

Gordon

Anal sex - what's the big frickin deal? As long as you are careful with the sensitive membraines involved it can be fun for both parties. Some like it and some don't. Sometimes it's messy and sometimes it is not. If you really wanted to pursue the anal ways with your other half then I am sure that there are ways of making it not be messy.

Anyway, as for the original point - I'd get a good feel for the course before teeing off, most likely with a good understanding of the contours and curves of the surface before laying your ball on the pitch. Take it slowly as you progress from hole to hole, make sure to have a caddy by your side at all times. The ultimate potting of the black is as always the most difficult but just remember that if you keep your concentration and harmony between your want and direction exists then at least you did your best - and then you can go to the 19th hole afterwards.

I don't find anal as much fun as un-anal tbh, it may be tighter (only at the entrance) but it lacks much of the feedback necessary for a harmonic experience as opposed to a one-way experience.

Good luck, hope you get a birdie or other such golfic/snookerismical entendre.

Oh, as for the question about whether or not a woman that enjoys anal foreplay may enjoy anal sex - I would say tht it is a high possibility, but as suggested: Be prepared to take what you give; if this is the case.

Sarky

Can you do bingo entendres too?

Gordon

May you be lucky enough to "44" if this is your wish.

Kold

Gordon wrote:

Anyway, as for the original point - I'd get a good feel for the course before teeing off, most likely with a good understanding of the contours and curves of the surface before laying your ball on the pitch. Take it slowly as you progress from hole to hole, make sure to have a caddy by your side at all times. The ultimate potting of the black is as always the most difficult but just remember that if you keep your concentration and harmony between your want and direction exists then at least you did your best - and then you can go to the 19th hole afterwards.

Possibly the best explanation of anything ever.

roryodonnell

You will have to let her know, what goes on in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom. I would think that most girls are detered by the fact they fear their BF will "Tell the lads". Its all about trust, trust and thrust.

irlirishkev

roryodonnell wrote:

You will have to let her know, what goes on in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom. I would think that most girls are detered by the fact they fear their BF will "Tell the lads". Its all about trust, trust and thrust.

So in other words.. Lie?
Girls tell eachother everything, it's only fair to expect us guys to do the same..

K.

ballooba

unsatisfied wrote:

I would've liked a bit of anal with my last boyfriend but over the course of the relationship he mentioned a few times how disgusting he thought it was...so naturally I didn't pursue it.

Did I used to go out with you?

I think its rank. ****s up the girls body too, especially if she does it too much.

Won't be fun when she has to wear a butt plug.

irlirishkev

ballooba wrote:

****s up the girls body too, especially if she does it too much

I've seen pornos where the girl would be bending over, and the guy would be spreading cheeks, and I swear, it's like looking into an open bottle. Big gaping hole.. However, that's from excess poking from very large penii no doubt..

K.

Sleepy

There's little tablets called poppers out there

Zulu

ballooba wrote:

Won't be fun when she has to wear a butt plug.

...and the difference is???

<edit> I doubt I did go out with you, but if I did - we didn't split you on bad terms, and we're still chatty. I would be amazed - she didn't strike me as the boards type. If it is you - text/PM me. </edit>

shiv

anal sex, anal sex.. it can be a guy's biggest turn-on and a woman's worst nightmare if it's done too quickly, without enough preparation (emotionally and physically), or she's guilt-tripped into it.

from a personal point of view i would say this to the lads: don't just do it, or poke your finger in, talk about it beforehand, and if it's out of the question, it's out of the question. don't harp on about it incessantly. if she's open-minded, curious and/or somewhat concilatory, she will probably go along with it if you're patient, gentle and responsive to her needs (instead of just getting lost in the moment, which can happen, especially the first few times).

If you are lucky enough that your girl agrees to this, don't expect it every time you have sex, either. i think once a fortnight or month is reasonable. you have to remember it does take its toll on a woman's body as previously posted. without going into all the icky details it can take a couple days before she's back to normal..

one last thing: stop, if she tells you too or you sense she is in too much pain. there's nothing worse when you're in that extremely vulnerable/helpless position, than the feeling that you aren't being listed to. it can lead to a feeling of being simply used.

also, sometimes lying down is easier than the traditional porn-star position of the man standing behind a bended-over butt..and don't attempt to go back in through the other way afterwards, as it's unhygenic and can lead to infection..

Waltons

I've heard it said that a lot of girls do like the feeling of be fingered around that area but I don't think it's a serious indication that she would be interested in anal. Whether it be the taboo or something else, there could be a lot of reasons.
I'd say discuss it with her first rather than 'accidently' turning on some porno, but to be honest, if she's not into a finger being up there, I doubt she'll want anything else

azezil

Sleepy wrote:

There's little tablets called poppers out there

Actually its a liquid, you inhale the vapour...

Meanwhile speaking from experince both giving and taking, unless you're both ready and relaxed it can be painful for both parties, so don't just bash n hope! ... if you do go tru with it, take your time, go slowly and use lots of lubricant.

Selik

Anal sex is great!

My ex used to love it nearly more than I do after I got her er, into it.

Gordon

As much as I like anal sex chats, this one has been a tad illustrative for my liking (as co-PI mod).

Please keep to a more family friendly tone.

chump

I wonder if my mother enjoys dabbling in this arena...

I best scurry along and ask my pop...

Kold

It's what makes our country great.

lisa.c

every arse should have a sign above it stating quite clearly

NO ENTRY!
EXIT ONLY!

my aunts a nurse and saw a lot off anal related problems. what she mainly saw was grown professional men and women crapping themselves every hour of the day due to too much anal sex. they were beyond the help of butt plugs and have to wear nappies..

BuffyBot

what she mainly saw was grown professional men and women crapping themselves every hour of the day due to too much anal sex

Oh FFS! I don't know where to start with what is wrong with that generalisation. How come a goodly proportion of gay men aren't going around in nappies?

Zulu

lisa.c wrote:

my aunts a nurse and saw a lot off anal related problems. what she mainly saw was grown professional men and women crapping themselves every hour of the day due to too much anal sex. they were beyond the help of butt plugs and have to wear nappies..

Yet another classic! How much were they eating to be producing so much crap?
On the other hand... humm, I'd better not. Suffice to say, this is absolute pish-posh. Lisa, this isn't after hours; mods - surly we can screen this kind of post?

elivsvonchiaing

Just in case this isn't obvious to everyone...

If you go back in the front door afterwards without first taking a shower you are likely to give her cystitis - painful infection.

lisa.c

Here we go again!! Zulu once again is trying to make other peoples thoughts and comments look silly. wake up Zulu arent you the one going around mirroring posts and trying to look good. do you think that because you have a higher post count than some people that you are superior.