seeing someone younger.....

LegacyUser

met this girl in a club about a month ago, she's 18 and i'm 27. i've been seeing her since, i'm not gonna lie, this was a physical thing..... but i'm kinda getting used to having her around.


has anyone ever dated anyone with this kind of age gap? has it worked?

if it did get serious, i'd be a bit wary of meeting the family, especially the da! he'd probably lynch me!

Chinafoot

yea, i have 2 friends with the same age gap and they've been going strong for about 6 months now.
her parents are ok with it now. obviously they were a bit worried at first but they saw that they were serious and its all cool.

i say go for it. age is only a number.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by paperclip
if it did get serious, i'd be a bit wary of meeting the family, especially the da! he'd probably lynch me!

considering the amount a person changes between the ages of 18 to 28 I’d say the betting is pretty good that at the end of the day something like this is going nowhere.
ask yourself these questions:
Are you the same person you were at 18?
Have you changed much?
Have you much in common with that 18 year old you once were?

ToxicPaddy

Is she a mature 18 year old???

I know a girl who when she was 18 was dating a guy of 30, they are now settled
and engaged and have a baby, shes still only 23 and hes now 35 but they seem
very happy and so do her parents..

This girl was always the independent type and did what she wanted when she
wanted, so even if the parents did object at first, I dont think they had a choice in
the matter..

Depends on the girl in question, the parents and if you will let the age gap be an
issue I suppose..

When it comes down to it its her you're dating and not her parents..

Is she going to college or is planning to? What if the college is in a different place to
where you're both living now? Does she want to travel.. other considerations like
this have to be taken into account as if she wants to, are you ok with her going?
Because this could be an obstacle in the future.. It may seem like everything is ok
now, but if you're planning on getting together then you will have to think of these
things..

Tox

Beruthiel

Originally posted by ToxicPaddy
I know a girl who when she was 18 was dating a guy of 30, they are now settled
and engaged and have a baby, shes still only 23 and hes now 35 but they seem
very happy and so do her parents..

bet a weeks wages she divorces him just before she hits 30
come back and let me know toxic!

malico

this was a physical thing..... but i'm kinda getting used to having her around.

Wow! It MUST be love then.


I agree with Beau. The shanges that happen are insummountable. Hell, I'm 23 and I'm DEFINALY not the person i was at 18. Or 21 for that matter.....Come to think of it 22 is a bit iffy too....

Cows With Guns

Nice gesture there Beruthiel, think theres a couple of people you haven't managed to insult yet..

LegacyUser

Paperclip -

I'm in EXACTLY the same situation.. It's uncanny how well you described my own situation..
I know what you mean about the parents thing. Dirty Old Man syndrome. Also, what does an 18 year old and a 27 year old have in common..? Not much, and the social circles are completely different. Conversations are at different levels. She's in school/college, and you're probably full time employed and thinking of buying a gaff!
Hard to know what to do.. if you come up with any ideas, let me know!

Garf.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Cows With Guns
Nice gesture there Beruthiel, think theres a couple of people you haven't managed to insult yet..

please read the CHARTER CWG with regards to comments like this
B

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Garf1977
Paperclip -

I'm in EXACTLY the same situation.. It's uncanny how well you described my own situation..
I know what you mean about the parents thing. Dirty Old Man syndrome. Also, what does an 18 year old and a 27 year old have in common..? Not much, and the social circles are completely different. Conversations are at different levels. She's in school/college, and you're probably full time employed and thinking of buying a gaff!
Hard to know what to do..

from your comments above
I think you know already

LegacyUser

i agree, i was just curious if anyone has been here, and ended up together.

Originally posted by Beruthiel
considering the amount a person changes between the ages of 18 to 28 I’d say the betting is pretty good that at the end of the day something like this is going nowhere.
ask yourself these questions:
Are you the same person you were at 18?
Have you changed much?
Have you much in common with that 18 year old you once were?

simu

It might be fun for a while though - I mean, do people only go out with other people if they think they're going to be together until death?

LegacyUser

no, its not love. point i was making was, i could just see it being a physical relationship......... but if you spend enough time with someone, and there's chemistry, well then, who knows.....

Originally posted by malico
Wow! It MUST be love then.

LegacyUser

ye, its a funny one alright!

i mean, you like the person, and you look forward to seeing em again, but there's all these hurdles in the way.

its all well and good at the start, its a bit of fun, but when you're seeing someone, regardless of age, there comes a point where you have to take things a bit more seriously, meet mates, family etc....

Originally posted by Garf1977
Paperclip -

I'm in EXACTLY the same situation.. It's uncanny how well you described my own situation..
I know what you mean about the parents thing. Dirty Old Man syndrome. Also, what does an 18 year old and a 27 year old have in common..? Not much, and the social circles are completely different. Conversations are at different levels. She's in school/college, and you're probably full time employed and thinking of buying a gaff!
Hard to know what to do.. if you come up with any ideas, let me know!

Garf.

LegacyUser

true...... but you dont wanna lead people on either........ but ye, i know what you mean...... i can over analyze stuff sometimes.

Originally posted by simu
It might be fun for a while though - I mean, do people only go out with other people if they think they're going to be together until death?

irlirishkev

true...... but you dont wanna lead people on either........ but ye, i know what you mean...... i can over analyze stuff sometimes.

Of course, but what's to say that she's looking for anything more serious than you are? Maybe it's just physical for her too..

Kev.

LegacyUser

true.

Originally posted by irlirishkev
Of course, but what's to say that she's looking for anything more serious than you are? Maybe it's just physical for her too..

Kev.

The Corinthian

The older you get, the younger women become. More correctly, they women remain the same age, but relative to you they get younger.

Fortunately being male this is not a problem; after all, we may not live as long as them, but at least we never have any difficulty finding a 19-year-old with a father complex. Indeed, don’t worry about meeting the father. Just study how he ignores his daughter or simply takes her for granted and you’ll soon be able to turn that knowledge to good use later.

As for it becoming a relationship, I wouldn’t worry about it, TBH. Either you do or don’t, but trying to label what you have with her will ruin whatever it is.

vibe666

i've been in the opposite of that sort of relationship, if that's any help.

i was 19 and she was 27.

spent 3 and a half years together and might well have been together forever if some other stuff hadn't pushed us apart.

the age difference was never an issue with either of us although her parents inially thought she was cradle snatching, and a coupleof her friends were very different with her when they found out my age.

it was never 'us' that was the problem though.

i say go for it.

just a little footnote. i hate to police the police, but someone has to. Beruthiel you seem to be making sarcastic comments about legitimate posters and thewn chastising people for critising your comments. seems like a case of do as i say not as i do. ok for parents, but not for mods imho.

[me waits for inevitable backlash]

Evil_Bilbo

Go Paperclip.

Many 27 year olds would kill to be in your situation. Dont take it too seriously and you'll be fine. I know it's been 6 months, but what the heck - may aswell drag it out another 6 if yer havin fun.

Runfree

Originally posted by Beruthiel
please read the CHARTER CWG with regards to comments like this
B

Will he have a change to come back or did you ban him???

Anyway Im 22 and I know for definate that I aint the same person that I am when i was 18 for a fact im a different person then I was 2 years ago. But he anything can happen is this world so you better prepare your self for either outcome

thought i'd better say something like this before Beruthiel bans me

Typedef

18 is old enough I'd say.

If you were 54 and she were 18, *that* might be a little wierd.... but, even if it were, would you honestly care?

I mean you're 54... do you want to ride another 54 year old or an 18 year old?

The day the fucking age police start giving free blowjobs, they can have a deciding opinion on who you date and from which age bracket.

Until then, you need only fear the wrath of our Lord and saviour, Jesus H Christ.

Repent sinner

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Typedef
The day the fucking age police start giving free blowjobs, they can have a deciding opinion on who you date and from which age bracket.

You've changed your tune, I see...

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Typedef

Oh come on... you can't possibly hold me to that... I mean come on.

I'll be the big two five this year !

Besides at the time I was taking a girl who had perviously dated a 38 year old when she was like 21 or something.

It suited me then, but... err, possibly doesn't suit me as much now.

Alls fair in love and war old boy !

More to the point gentlemen, don't even pretend you haven't done and said... just about, whatever you thought was necessary in order to expadite getting a female in your beds and keeping them there...

I believe it's called .. pillow talk and *yes* I was sending the chick in question subtle links to boards ie at the time. More to the point the err, ex older gentleman kept insisting on asking the femme to marry him (via email) at the time also.

So you see, it's not a simplistic case of Typie being on his high horse.
For shame gentlmen. For shame.

Alls fair after all.

Besides TC, I don't think of you that way... we're just friends... you know.
/

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

dod

Heheh.

In fairness Typie, you gotta laugh at the contrast between the two posts. Neither gives a quarter in terms of expressing its opinion.... but the views expressed in each are completely irreconcilable with the other.

Ya gotta giggle.

Typedef

We old men, I fear, obey this law:
Until we're rotten, we cannot be ripe;
We always hop along, while the world will pipe.
Our will is always catching on the nail,
To have, if hoary head, a verdant tail

http://www.librarius.com/canttran/reevtale/reevtale001-044.htm

Nice!

Typedef

Originally posted by dod
Heheh.

In fairness Typie, you gotta laugh at the contrast between the two posts. Neither gives a quarter in terms of expressing its opinion.... but the views expressed in each are completely irreconcilable with the other.

Ya gotta giggle.

Ah now dod.

Morals/opinions *must* be flexable things, as the situation dictates.

Chapter 15

"a man who wishes to act entirely up to his professions of virtue soon meets with what destroys him among so much that is evil. "

"Hence it is necessary for a prince wishing to hold his own to know how to do wrong, and to make use of it or not according to necessity.

http://www.the-prince-by-machiavelli.com/machiavelli-quotes.html

Classic.

Cake Fiend

Been there, done that a few times, only the other way around (older women). If it works out long-term, you'll be in the minority, but that's no reason not to have a bit of fun in the meantime, as long as you're well aware of the potential for one of you (probably more likely you than her IMO) to get hurt.

Typedef

Strange.

I'd have said the other way round. 'Unless' the woman is significantly older and completely all over the man, you'd expect the older party to hold the all the cards, as it were. So you'd expect that an older man would be using a younger woman 'exclusively' for sex and would be preying on her lack of experience... maybe preying is the wrong word, but, my own experience has mostly been that it's much easier to... umm.. control the situation if, one the older party, in the equation. Easier to keep oneself... err, safe, easier to keep the other at arms length.. because at the back of your mind, you remember yourself at their age. Maybe that's killing what might be before it even starts.

Famous last words perhaps.

/Goes to find a feisty 19 year old.

da_deadman

I think the age thing is not a real barrier but just a mental issue that a lot of people have. I think if two people like each other and are compatible as a couple, then go for it. If you allow the age gap to put you off then I think its a sign that the relationship wouldn't work. If it was going to work out you wouldn't care about it. I think its great to meet someone you like and they like you too. What does age mean then? Nothing!

The Western world has made age an issue for relationships. There is the typical view of a family where the parents have similar ages and they have 2.4 children. But why is it viewed that couples of similar ages have a greater chance of lasting until death? There is a very high rate of seperation and divorces in the Western world now.

(My point is a bit fractured but Im finding it hard to make a good coherent post today)

I just feel that age is not an important factor for a relationship. Attraction, compatibility, honesty, trust, and fun are all more important imho.

Kell

You're all sick.

Anything greater than a 3yr gap in age is too much in my book. Sheez, she's barely legal and heres the original poster shovelling it into her like theres no tomorrow

Quote- Its purely physical, I must admit.

That much of an age gap is bang out of order and besides, the guy shouldnt be wasting his time with some girl who just wants to be cool and go out with someone older. Maybe he should try dating someone of his own age and see if he can cope.

K-

Lex_Diamonds

Yup. I once heard of a 29 year old going out with a 25 year old. SICK! Everyone listen to Kell.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

yeah, but nobody listen to lex!

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Kell
You're all sick.

Am I the only one here who’s consistently a dirty old man?

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?postid=868755#post868755

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?postid=993711#post993711

Hobart

Originally posted by Kell
You're all sick.

Anything greater than a 3yr gap in age is too much in my book. Sheez, she's barely legal and heres the original poster shovelling it into her like theres no tomorrow

Quote- Its purely physical, I must admit.

That much of an age gap is bang out of order and besides, the guy shouldnt be wasting his time with some girl who just wants to be cool and go out with someone older. Maybe he should try dating someone of his own age and see if he can cope.

K-

ROFL. What a complete load of B/****. I met my wife when she was 17, I was 25. Yes it was just "physical" at the time. But so fusking what? 12(ish) Years and 3 kids later [wink]it's still physical [/wink]. Just go for it.

The older you get, the younger women become. More correctly, they women remain the same age, but relative to you they get younger.

Fortunately being male this is not a problem; after all, we may not live as long as them, but at least we never have any difficulty finding a 19-year-old with a father complex. Indeed, don’t worry about meeting the father. Just study how he ignores his daughter or simply takes her for granted and you’ll soon be able to turn that knowledge to good use later.

As for it becoming a relationship, I wouldn’t worry about it, TBH. Either you do or don’t, but trying to label what you have with her will ruin whatever it is.

P.S. Kudos to TC for the most honest and direct reply to a thread I have seen in eons.

embee

It depends on the age and the maturity level of both parties I suppose.

I'm 23 now. In the past I have gone out with people who were 10 years + older than me.

Absolutely nothing wrong with it, as long as you are honest with yourself and realise that it more than likely isnt going anywhere in the long run.

Someone said already that an 18 year old and a 27 year old cannot have a whole lot in common, and that is pretty true. If it is a purely sexual thing, thats fine but the original poster talks about meeting the family etc.....
Is that really realistic?

LegacyUser

well, got roped into meeting the da, was a bit odd, but he seemd suprisingly cool.

tbh, i think its just a bit of fun for now, if anything comes of it, so be it.

idealy, i'd prefer if she was a bit older, but.......... what ye gonna do!

Darren

Why not just go with the flow, enjoy it for the moment and not worry too much about where it goes.

LegacyUser

ye, what ever happens happens

Originally posted by Darren
Why not just go with the flow, enjoy it for the moment and not worry too much about where it goes.

Darren

Age does make a difference.

When I was 21, I was seeing a girl of 28, loved her to bits. But.....when I was younger i was a jealous prick. She got the hump with it and gave me the heave-ho. Sometimes I think that if I had met her when I was a bit older things may have been different. C'est La Vie.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

that wasn't age, that was you.

Darren

Hey, you can't honestly expect me to take responsibility for my own actions can you?

Never been jealous since.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

i just like making short, potentially aggressive statements.

Typedef

Of course age makes a difference.

But seriously, if some 19 year old chick wants to sleep with a man four times her age who bloody well cares?

So long as *you* aren't trying to sleep with her at the same time... you shouldn't care a damn.

On the other hand, if you have a good reason, to invent an excuse out of thin air, to rationalise why a girl should sleep with you over another man... age is as good a reason as any.

LadyPenelope

originally quoted by Kell
Anything greater than a 3yr gap in age is too much in my book.

Haha.

Must remember to take this on board.

When I was 20 I went out with 28 year old bloke, messed me up for life, only go for younger guys now, this could be the sort of life your setting up this girl for Paperclip.

LegacyUser

how exactly did the age gap "mess you up for life"

Originally posted by LadyPenelope
Haha.

Must remember to take this on board.

When I was 20 I went out with 28 year old bloke, messed me up for life, only go for younger guys now, this could be the sort of life your setting up this girl for Paperclip.

LadyPenelope

Sorry, yea that was a bit of a sweeping statement.

In retrospect the guy was a control freak, the whole time i was seeing him, he would throw a wobbly when i would go out with any of my mates, he expected me to just go out with him. His other thing was that because i was much younger he spent his time trying to get me to look "older" wear more makeup, wear different clothes .. more in his head "grown up" clothes. When I finally broke up with him, it was like a weight off my shoulders. But he then continued to "stalk" me standing for hours across the street from my house, and continually phoning me. And the last straw was really when he came into the office where I worked and begged me to marry him! We were broke up!!

Anyway, I'm not really that messed up, it just put me off older guys what can i say. :dunno: But you know if you get on with this girl, you go for it, who is to say where it might lead, enjoy yourself and be yourself.

Lady P

daveg

Imo you cannot say that X age is too young or X age is too old. Truth be told everyone and every relationship is different. You might have a bad experience/relationship with an older person and vow never to go out with anyone older again. Yet the next (older) person you meet may be the one for you (puke... sorry).

To summerise you need to be open minded and take each relationship as it comes. I think everyone will agree each person and relationship is different.

Typedef

Originally posted by LadyPenelope
Haha.

Must remember to take this on board.

When I was 20 I went out with 28 year old bloke, messed me up for life, only go for younger guys now, this could be the sort of life your setting up this girl for Paperclip.

Then Kell should be perfect for you.

He likes them twice his age minus a year or too.

Troll.