What questions would you have on a Irish Citizenship test?

irishgeo

Following on from the American thread.

What questions would you put on an Irish test?

vector

Originally posted by irishgeo
Following on from the American thread.

What questions would you put on an Irish test?

when was constitution
free state
republic
what is national anthem
how many counties on entire island
how many counties in republic
meaning of tricolour colours
name of current taoiseach
tanaiste
president


and to make it hard harvest and localise questions from the canadian citizenship test eg http://www.yourlibrary.ca/citizenship

Big Ears

In what year did The Republic of Ireland gain independance ?

What are the gaelic(Irish language) names for the Pri Minister and Deputy Pri Minister ?

In what year did Ireland join the E.U. ?

When did Ireland break away from the British commenwealth ?

are some for now , maybe il think of more later .

kittex

Which of the following should you feed a Coolock boy for breakfast?
a) Fruit and yoghurt
b) 2 Johnny Blue and a cuppa cha
c) a bowl of low fat cereal.

And is of course, b) 2 Johnny Blue and a cup of tea.

Bonus points for pointing out the tea bags should be Barrys.


Ps: just a joke, don't take offence no one.

GuanYin

Originally posted by kittex

Ps: just a joke, don't take offence no one.

I didn't laugh.

And I'll be coming to hunt you down.

delly

But its not even funny! You could at least have made a joke with a punch line

kittex

Originally posted by syke
I didn't laugh.

And I'll be coming to hunt you down.

Deadly, forum fight

GuanYin

Originally posted by kittex
Deadly, forum fight

Nono...I mean in person, I will actually try find out who you are and come to slash your tyres.

And I'm not even from Coolock, imagine what those types will do to you!

kittex

Originally posted by delly
But its not even funny! You could at least have made a joke with a punch line

Oh well excuse me for not being a professional comedian.

Are you going to just be a critic or can you come up with something hilarious yourself?

GuanYin

Originally posted by kittex
Oh well excuse me for not being a professional comedian.

Are you going to just be a critic or can you come up with something hilarious yourself?

In fairness, I thought it was slightly mirth-some, I just didn'ty laugh.

I'm now heading to harry's blunt instrument emporium enroute to kittex....

Big Ears

as soon as any critiscism is made people get all defensive

CuLT

I thought it was funny .


Let's not have this degenerate into a flamethrowing contest.

The Real B-man

<removed by poster>

The Real B-man

soz

Badly Drunk Boy

Getting back to the citizenship questions....


Who won the the first Sam Maguire Cup?

Who played Biddy in Glenroe?

On what islands did Peig Sayers live?

zapata

Cad is ainm duit?
Litrigh é sin dom le do thoil.
Cén seoladh atá agat?
Cén aois tú?
Cén fáth a bhfuil tú anseo?
An bhfuil cárta aitheantais (I.D.) agat?

Quatre Mains

Do you know how to turn off the rear foglight on a 14 year old Nissan Sunny/Toyota Corolla?

BigEejit

Originally posted by brocklanders
Do you know how to turn off the rear foglight on a 14 year old Nissan Sunny/Toyota Corolla?

LOL ... unfortunately most of those culprits are Irish women with the barest notion of how to drive...

Slutmonkey57b

Q1: Is Ireland the world's
a) filthiest country
b) most corrupt country
c) most hypocritical country
d) most inebriated country

Q2: Are Irish men all
a) racist
b) alcoholic
c) violent
d) stupid
e) mammy's boys

Q3: Are Irish women all
a) dangerously permatanned
b) alcoholic
c) stupid
d) fashion slaves

Q4: Is Ireland really
a) better than where you're leaving
b) better than everywhere else in Europe
c) as bad as it looks

Q5: Which of the following will cause you the most hassle?
a) Knackers
b) Scobes
c) Muckwarriors
d) Langers
e) Limerick
f) Dort-ers

Q6: How long should you spend in the country experiencing the racism, litter, violent alcoholism, greed, corruption, and chaos before deciding to leave?
a) 10 weeks
b) 10 days
c) 10 hours
d) 10 minutes

Pigman II

Originally posted by Badly Drunk Boy
Who won the the first Sam Maguire Cup?

Who played Biddy in Glenroe?

On what islands did Peig Sayers live?

That would be a very useful to test to weed out illegial immigrants! After all just about no REAL Irish person would know the answers.

woosaysdan

Originally posted by Slutmonkey57b
Q1: Is Ireland the world's
a) filthiest country
b) most corrupt country
c) most hypocritical country
d) most inebriated country

Q2: Are Irish men all
a) racist
b) alcoholic
c) violent
d) stupid
e) mammy's boys

Q3: Are Irish women all
a) dangerously permatanned
b) alcoholic
c) stupid
d) fashion slaves

Q4: Is Ireland really
a) better than where you're leaving
b) better than everywhere else in Europe
c) as bad as it looks

Q5: Which of the following will cause you the most hassle?
a) Knackers
b) Scobes
c) Muckwarriors
d) Langers
e) Limerick
f) Dort-ers

Q6: How long should you spend in the country experiencing the racism, litter, violent alcoholism, greed, corruption, and chaos before deciding to leave?
a) 10 weeks
b) 10 days
c) 10 hours
d) 10 minutes

montys goin to have fun with you!!!

pork99

Originally posted by Big Ears

What are the gaelic(Irish language) names for the Pri Minister and Deputy Pri Minister ?

What's a Pri Minister? Anything like a Prime Minister?

Big Ears

Originally posted by pork99
What's a Pri Minister? Anything like a Prime Minister?

yes its a shorter version of the word .

AngelofFire

Who is ireland`s biggest male sex symbol?

a)Colin Farrell
b)Brian dobson
c)keith Duffy
d)Enda Kenny

who is irelands biggest female sex symbol?

a)Grainne Seoige
b)Eileen Dunne
C)Rosanna Davison
d)Mary Harney

In which country do you need €200,000 to afford a one room rat infested shack?

a)Ireland
b)Ireland
c)Ireland
d)Ireland

Which group of people should you avoid at all costs?

a)Rockers
b)Skangers
c)Culchies

Duffman

Originally posted by AngelofFire

who is irelands biggest female sex symbol?

a)Grainne Seoige
b)Eileen Dunne
C)Rosanna Davison
d)Mary Harney

And where, may I ask, is Anne Doyle on your list? :eek:

CuLT

Originally posted by woosaysdan
montys goin to have fun with you!!!

Any reason? Those are entertaining questions, so entertaining that I would probably explode if I even began to remember what I was talking about....

tba

Examiner: ...and finally how many people are in the pop group the Corrs.
Immagrant: Ah dis iz simple question, three beautiful ladiziez wit da black hair.
Examiner: WRONG, FOOL every Irish person knows that Jim is the real power behind the Corrs and you dont even know he exists... DO YOU!
Immagrant: Please sir I have a large family and a degree in medicine, let me stay.
Examiner: Stop begging and leave before you have any more children!

Guy:Incognito

you should have to translate a random parargraph from Irish to english or vice versa.

Blisterman

How many real Irish people coud do that?

Guy:Incognito

Originally posted by Blisterman
How many real Irish people coud do that?

i know that and i'd br the first to abmit i couldnt and have no interest in trying, but who cares, i wont have to do it, im already a citizen. You have to make it hard, cant just give passports away.

mike65

Do you git your teeth when an England team wins something?

Do you get plastered on Friday and SaturdayNight and

Can you find your way to Casualty with blood in your eyes?

If you can dodge paying Insurance and Road tax, will you?

Whats the Flusie in the Jacuzzi? (historical question)

Is a Galway Hooker a lady of the night or a boat?

IS Dana an Irish Euro Song Winner or An Israeli Eurosong Winner?

Mike.

l3rian

yea i like Stekellys idea, make em work for their citizenship

maybe a gameshow of some sort?

on rte primetime, a mix between that that familyfortune show (with the big UUH-AAR buzzer), some sadistic japanese gameshow, and that arnie movie: the running man

hosted by dunphy or dustin, either one, or both lol

all the questions would be viciously hard, and the audience would be classic gerry springer style, getting to geer and throw vegetables at any wrong answers

the losing family would be deported back whereever they came from in the back of a cargo container, and the winning family get passports and directions to their local social welfare office

this show would be fccking amazing fun

Badly Drunk Boy

Originally posted by Pigman II
That would be a very useful to test to weed out illegial immigrants! After all just about no REAL Irish person would know the answers.

Yeah, you're right. So put a cork in it......:p

CuLT

Japanese gameshow style.

Suffer pain, and lots of it for the pittance of a reward.

Guy:Incognito

if you make it really difficult, then only the usefull people, ie those with something to offer will bother to go through it rather than just head off to another country thats easier to get into. So you wed out the ones that are coming to have an easy time of it.

benz

ah let them all in but they have to live on the north side. Can't have them over here.

pork99

Originally posted by Big Ears
yes its a shorter version of the word .

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=define%3A+%22prime+minister%22&btnG=Google+Search

http://www.google.com/search?num=100&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&q=define%3A+%22pri+minister%22&btnG=Search

I'm afraid I have to tell you that a lifetime of listening to RTE (not to mention Sky News) newsreaders & presenters mutilating the English language has lead you to believe there is such a term as "Pri Minister"

Ironically most immigrants - people to whom English is a second or third language - would be less likely to make such a mistake.

Big Ears

Originally posted by pork99
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&q=define%3A+%22prime+minister%22&btnG=Google+Search

http://www.google.com/search?num=100&hl=en&lr=&ie=UTF-8&q=define%3A+%22pri+minister%22&btnG=Search

I'm afraid I have to tell you that a lifetime of listening to RTE (not to mention Sky News) newsreaders & presenters mutilating the English language has lead you to believe there is such a term as "Pri Minister"

Ironically most immigrants - people to whom English is a second or third language - would be less likely to make such a mistake.

I meant I use it as a shorter version of the word .

If uve spent a lifetime listening to RTE , u have wasted a lot of ur life .

yossarin

Q5: Which of the following will cause you the most hassle?
...
e) Limerick
...

classic.

I think that the "do you grit your teeth when england win anything?" is the most accurate yet.

Sarky

Slutmonkey57b's questions 1-3 should include an "All of the above" choice.

Slutmonkey57b

I meant to put down a "correct answers" part which would have said that, but meh.

I think it's self evident really.

Capt'n Midnight

Originally posted by Stekelly
You have to make it hard, cant just give passports away.

Well the govt has just sold them in the past , and judging by some of the buyers no questions were asked once the readies were ready.

Who were the children of Lír ?
What do you call when you toss a coin ?
Where did Rory go ?

Display profeciancy in three of the following
Begrudgery
Sarchasm
Littering
Canvassing (for Public Service job)

Agent Smith

Originally posted by Capt'n Midnight
Well the govt has just sold them in the past , and judging by some of the buyers no questions were asked once the readies were ready.

and yet if i try to sell mine, i'd go to jail.... starange...




Q. whats the best part about ireland
A)it's bleeden rapid,
B)I like rain
C)Ireland?
D) it's fun
E) i want to run for president




meh

LegacyUser

there can only be one question
a. collins
b. dev

any one says a gets automatic citizenship

anyone who says b gets a very harsh beating and chucked outa here

tba

that question is a bit ambiguous, you should say de valera too, ban

raster

Originally posted by bananayoghurt
there can only be one question
a. collins
b. dev

any one says a gets automatic citizenship

anyone who says b gets a very harsh beating and chucked outa here

as a sidebar, remember in history when the book said that dev was in limerick (and uncontactable by phone) when collins and his envoy plenpentaries were in london, to sign the anglo-irish treaty... why was dev in limerick, did he have something to do there? or was he just avoiding the phonecall so he could blame collins if the treaty didn't go down well?

Civilian_Target

Yes. He didn't go because he knew Lloyd George's crack team of negotiators would have his ass, so he put Collins up for the slaughter instead. Collins didn't do as bady as expected though, so it took Dev a lot longer than expected to become leader.

raster

indeed, but I always wondered did he have some actual engagement or reason to be specifically in limerick (or would anywhere outside dublin have done)

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Raskolnikov

What is the highest circulating newspaper in Ireland?

1. The Sun.
2. The Mirror.
3. The Irish Times.
4. The Irish Independant.

What's Irelands most popular soap?

1. Fair City.
2. Eastenders.
3. Cornation Street.
4. Ros na Rún.

An doigh leat go bhfuil cas na dídeanaithe go dona sa tír seo?

1. Wha-th?
2. Wha?
3. Cad é?
4. Speak our fookin' language ye ****.

What's Irelands biggest influence on the world.

1. Lucky Charms.
2. Guinness.
3. The Duke of Wellington.
4. Haha, trick question, we've contributed nothing.

Roy Keane, langar or langar?

1. Langar.
2. Langar.
3. Langar.
4. Langar.