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What company would you buy, just to sack everybody working there ?

  • 10-05-2004 12:09am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,078 ✭✭✭


    If you got a squillion quid in the morning , what company would you buy , just so that you could close it down - eradicating it from the face of the earth forever ?


«1

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,584 ✭✭✭✭Creamy Goodness


    well the first company that springs to mind is

    Eircom.

    then i suppose any record company that has manufactured pop on the employee list.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,313 ✭✭✭bus77


    EIRCON!!!!:mad:

    Id bankrupt the company first tho, to make sure they got no golden handshakes or pensions;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    POWERCITY

    just cos i hate that idiot on the ad!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭RobertFoster


    Originally posted by peachypants
    POWERCITY

    just cos i hate that idiot on the ad!

    Does he actually work in Powercity or, is he an actor?

    suprised no one's said microsoft yet :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,811 ✭✭✭✭billy the squid


    1. eircom

    But it might take several days for them to actually leave. you know what those eircom people behave. well do it but only in a couple of days when we feel like it

    and i would use the rest of the money to buy and shut down any other venture that tony o reily is involved in just so he could not get back on his feet again.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭RobertFoster


    Originally posted by Superman
    i still got a uniform (fleece and all) and a panic beeper!

    what good will they do you? other than looking cool and having something press when you panic...what good are they?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,329 ✭✭✭jetsonx


    Eircom - the company that does not give a **** about any of its customers, if they
    come across any difficulty you have whether it be a phone line or a internet prob.,
    they just fob you off by saying they will phone you back. had a job once doing
    research on this company. I would say at least 60% of their customers who dealt
    with them were pissed off with them. SHAME ON YOU EIRCOM.


    (another candidate)

    Dunnes Stores- why is everything in their St Bernard food range taste
    so **** ? ( and they are not cheap)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,136 ✭✭✭Superman


    Originally posted by RobertFoster
    what good will they do you? other than looking cool and having something press when you panic...what good are they?

    It means I get a free fleece, shirt and trousers and about a dozen ties, I'm blinged out in the best !

    The beeper is an emergency thing and when pressed near a station the garda head straigh there! great fun and a good distraction


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,136 ✭✭✭Superman


    hate to burst your bubble but eircom and the goverment have alot more impotant feckin things to worry about than making sure a couple of lab rats who sit in front pc's all day get a low ping!!!

    (ho ho! didn't i open a can of worms :))


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,314 ✭✭✭RobertFoster


    Originally posted by Superman
    The beeper is an emergency thing and when pressed near a station the garda head straigh there! great fun and a good distraction

    I'm sure they'd notice you standing there laughing...especially if wearing 12 ties...


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,136 ✭✭✭Superman


    Originally posted by RobertFoster
    I'm sure they'd notice you standing there laughing...especially if wearing 12 ties...

    thats the beuty can be done from 100yrds! and they gave me ties cause i kept on "loosing" them.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,105 ✭✭✭Tommy Vercetti


    PC World. They are all stupid liars!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,333 ✭✭✭Celt


    Originally posted by Superman
    thats the beuty can be done from 100yrds! and they gave me ties cause i kept on "loosing" them.
    You have a strange strange fetish...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 358 ✭✭Philbert


    Dublin Bus.

    For always being late and often never arriving. :mad:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,924 ✭✭✭✭BuffyBot


    ho ho! didn't i open a can of worms

    Not, not really.


  • Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 18,005 Mod ✭✭✭✭ixoy


    General Electric. Because bringing down the world's biggest corporation, and all its subsidary investments, will collapse the world economy and bring about a new world order.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,385 ✭✭✭halkar


    I buy the government and sack them all :D will need more than squillion quid maybe :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,253 ✭✭✭gobby


    suprised no one has mentioned.....

    MICROSOFT


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,339 ✭✭✭✭tman


    the samaritans


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,484 ✭✭✭✭Stephen


    Superman - sing it brother! ;)

    I used work for poxy statoil, everything he says is true. and the panic beepers are fun, drive by at night and set the alarm off to punish the bastards. When the alarm goes off they have to call one of the managers out of bed to go in and check on the place.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 590 ✭✭✭herbie747


    NTL.
    Hands down.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,086 ✭✭✭BKtje


    A research laboratory that is doing research into finding alternatives to oil.
    Id buy it and the sack em all cos they are taking too feckin long. Tho i guess thats more down to lack of funding so i guess id buy it and just give em a **** load of money, hire a load more scientists and errr put the rest on a warning. Gimme a cheap alternative or be sacked :p


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,143 ✭✭✭spongebob


    Eircom for their greed , ineptitude , perennial rudeness and unhelpfulness .

    Statoil are not a monopoly , at least I can drive past them no matter how bad they are.

    M


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,892 ✭✭✭Kersh


    Harvey Norman..cos those ads wreck my head.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,628 ✭✭✭Asok


    Cura for not advocating the

    "Black & Decker Cordless drill and clotheshanger" solution to their callers


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,396 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    Eircom so I could sell the guts to a decent telecoms company and get broadband rolled out properly in this country.

    Does Dail Eireann count as a company? No? Ok, just Fianna Fail head office then... should set them back enough to lose the next election ;)


  • Hosted Moderators Posts: 7,486 ✭✭✭Red Alert


    Compu Store - no where else are the staff so dense!

    Have any of them actually ever looked "into" a computer?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,987 ✭✭✭✭zAbbo


    Originally posted by Red Alert
    Compu Store - no where else are the staff so dense!

    Have any of them actually ever looked "into" a computer?
    There are Sales staff, and Tech staff.

    Oh and id buy out Coke Cola, and replace it with Pepsi, but in the familar Coke package. Just to watch millions of people go "bleehehhwhewwewew tis shat"


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 16,698 Mod ✭✭✭✭Silverfish


    Earcom.


    After three calls to their tech support yesterday, I eventually hung up and fixed it myself.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 28,128 ✭✭✭✭Mossy Monk


    Chorus

    hate the bastards


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,951 ✭✭✭L5


    AIB, scum ripping off customers for the last 8 years. 14 miliion profit from it. They made over 4 billion euro profit last year. Disgusting.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,894 ✭✭✭Chinafoot


    TEXACO! cos then i could fire myself! stupid wánkers dont even pay us minimum wage!!! they reckon we're "not in that specific union!" WTF!
    its píss easy work though and im too lazy to go and look for a decent job.

    superman, we get the same "planograms" its ridiculous. these people actually think they're superior because they wear a suit while stocking the mars bars!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 649 ✭✭✭strawberry


    AIB - 'what? we would never start direct debiting you account without your prior permission'.

    And strangely enough it was to pay an eircom bill...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,889 ✭✭✭Third_Echelon


    it would have to be EIRCOM without a doubt... i hate those b@st@rds....


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,819 ✭✭✭rymus


    Hibernian..

    Sack the lot of them but offer them incentives & discounts on their insurance. Then when they ring back to get a quote, offer a standard low, low rates starting from a mere €4000 per annum.

    In fact I'd buy the entire insurance sector and be a kind of Robin Hood. Charge the rich higher insurance and give the everyday joe's that just want to get to work a good deal. I'd also introduce a scheme whereby all those burberry baseball cap wearing morons have to undergo extreme torture before they even get a quote (of €40,000 with no NCB... ever).


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 559 ✭✭✭jongore


    Eircom, what does that bring to mind?

    Egotistical Irritating Rip-off Coniving Outlaws Malicious


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 24,924 ✭✭✭✭BuffyBot


    Despite having had issues with Eircom in the past, I'd have to go with Chorus as they are the definition of crap


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,166 ✭✭✭Johnny Versace


    The US Government.

    Yes, they are a company!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,497 ✭✭✭quarryman


    what's with the eircom love-in?

    *picks up phone and hears dial-tone*

    meh, i'm happy.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 649 ✭✭✭strawberry


    Originally posted by Johnny Versace
    The US Government.

    Yes, they are a company!

    Sure they are pet ;)


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,166 ✭✭✭Johnny Versace


    Originally posted by quarryman
    what's with the eircom love-in?

    *picks up phone and hears dial-tone*

    meh, i'm happy.

    As a former Eircom employee I can tell you -

    1. The staff there are all sound and pretty hard working (they're just very badly paid.)

    2. The problem is that the company is huge and things happen slowly.

    They're really not the evil fcukers everyone thinks they are.

    ...

    I wouldn't fire the staff.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,113 ✭✭✭Genghis


    GLS (and if I had money left), 98FM.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,027 ✭✭✭alleepally


    Originally posted by Johnny Versace
    As a former Eircom employee I can tell you -

    1. The staff there are all sound and pretty hard working (they're just very badly paid.)

    2. The problem is that the company is huge and things happen slowly.

    They're really not the evil fcukers everyone thinks they are.

    ...

    I wouldn't fire the staff.

    So are the stories about all Eircom workers sitting on piles of cash from the share ownership a complete crock then?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,166 ✭✭✭Johnny Versace


    Originally posted by alleepally
    So are the stories about all Eircom workers sitting on piles of cash from the share ownership a complete crock then?

    The vast majority of Eircom employees are not loaded and are paid badly. Particularily the eircom.net people (where I used to work.)

    They really are a nice bunch of lads.

    Can't really comment on Eircom the phone people though.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,566 ✭✭✭Gillo


    I'd buy as many premiership teams as possible. instead of sacking them, I'd set up an inter-company 5 a-side league.

    As for sacking, it'd have to be Irish Rail & CIE.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,934 ✭✭✭egan007


    Man Utd PLC

    I'd like to see the look on fergies face then


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    Originally posted by Johnny Versace
    The vast majority of Eircom employees are not loaded and are paid badly. Particularily the eircom.net people (where I used to work.)

    They really are a nice bunch of lads.

    Can't really comment on Eircom the phone people though.
    The same can be said for most big companies. It's teh overpaid suits that are the cause of the problems, but the guys on the front line are the ones who have to follow badly laid out procedures and take all the flack.

    If I was going to fire anyone it would be upper managment. Turn the company into a friendly dictatorcat. Committees make things too slow and expensive.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,181 ✭✭✭✭Jim


    Originally posted by Johnny Versace
    The vast majority of Eircom employees are not loaded and are paid badly. Particularily the eircom.net people (where I used to work.)

    They really are a nice bunch of lads.

    Can't really comment on Eircom the phone people though.

    Do have any idea of the pile shite I've had to put up with from those cuunts over the last 5 months.

    My answer, Eircom.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,166 ✭✭✭Johnny Versace


    Originally posted by Jimeatsmenu
    Do have any idea of the pile shite I've had to put up with from those cuunts over the last 5 months.

    My answer, Eircom.

    Well, from my experience working as a tech support rep when I was at eircom.net, 99.99% of the time the problem was at the customers end.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,972 ✭✭✭SheroN


    the customer is always right.


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