Singles - Does it bother you?

Laguna

Howdy there. i was just wondering how the single community on boards feel about being, well, single? does it bother them or not? ya see i'm 21 at the end of june and i don't have a girl, don't really give a **** though, but that's not the point, do teh singletons out there feel they would feel better with someone or staying the way they are?

JohnK

Being single doesn't bother me. That being said however, I've never been much of a people person.

Amz

Couldn't give a toss to be honest.

I see so many of my mates in relationships for the wrong reasons and I'd rather be single and happy that stuck with someone for the sake of it and be miserable and worrying about stupid crap that shouldn't really matter if the relationship is worth being in.

NeMiSiS

Been in and out of relationships for years.. never bothered me being single, ya have more god damn fun ! Now though I get in relationships and can't realy make em last more than a month, I get itchy feet, and I'm an awful **** for ****ing round. But hell - ya live once.

Tom

bizmark

Its far better being single then again i was always a loner

yellum

If being single makes you happy then be happy. If you find someone special and being with them makes you happier then consider a relationship.

Some people seem to have a fear about being single and try too hard to find "the one", if they relaxed a bit and were comfortable with themselves and life they'd find someone and keep them for longer. I think theres too many societal pressures on people to be in a relationship. Which is a pity.

loismustdie

same could be asked of couples. some people are single by choice - happy, or becasue they haven't met the right person - unsatisfied with present status. some couples are together for sake of it - oblivious and happy or unhappy (prob way more unhappy than songle who are looking for perfect partner )and increasinlgly rare happy couple who really love each other without dwelling on andy unsatisfactory issues within the relationship r don't apreciate echo ther

Oriel

I'm not single anymore (again), but I feel that being single is good. It cuts out the crap with being attached with someone/something which controls a large part of your life. Main thing is, if you stop looking, some female will find you. That's the worrying part...

leeroybrown

Being sinle doesn't bother me in the slightest, which mnay explain why I'm single.

Hmmmm ... Catch 22

nads

Originally posted by Amz
Couldn't give a toss to be honest.

glad to hear a girl say his, every girl i know is 'unsingle' it's embarassing when one of them is newly pruning a guy she just met into a boyfriend for the sake of having a boyfriend.
everyone should be single .... and promiscuous

Sleepy

everyone should be single .... and promiscuous

LOL, if only!

While it doesn't bother me that I'm single, I would prefer to be in a committed relationship with someone I loved. I've been there before and I prefer it to being single. That said, I'm not one for staying in a relationship just for the sake of it. I've been known to drag things on for a month or so longer than they should have lasted in the hope that the old spark might be fanned into a flame again but I think we all know that's a rare occurance.

DUX

I am single and I am quite bothered about it. Would much prefer to have a girlfriend, but obviusly I haven't met the right one yet.

nads

if having a girlfriend meant having loads of the sex then i'd be well glad of it.
however if having a girlfriend meant socialising with her friends, half of whom are blokes, and most of them blokes have got up on her in the past then... fine the way i am, masterbating twice a day has it's advantages wait... :ninja: :ninja: :ninja:

The Corinthian

Being single in your early twenties is not a big deal - to begin with, the vast majority of relationships at that age are transitory anyway and generally both parties will know this. So, to be honest someone in his or her early twenties telling us how being single is no bother is a little laughable and smacks of someone protesting too much, methinks.

So, let’s just expand this single concept and decide what it means: By your late twenties you’ll begin to see a paradigm shift as your friends begin to settle down and get married. This of course will affect your social dynamics - for example, pickup clubs will become increasingly unpopular destinations as the majority of your peers become hitched and topics of discussion such as children and mortgages will replace the ones about drinking and carousing.

For women this is particularly relevant as their window of procreation is a lot shorter than that of men - I only recently met a 32-year-old woman who confessed that she thought herself too old to get pregnant (an extreme case, IMO, but QED nonetheless). Even so, men are affected by this cluckyness too, although to a far less pronounced level.

Take it further to a man or woman in their forties and later. You can’t get away with behaving like a twenty-year-old forever, after all. As a case in point, I’m a thirtysomething bachelor, for example, and can get away with it - for now. In a decade (perhaps less) I won’t, and will simply be identified as one of those creepy looking older men who prowl wine bars, should I continue to do so.

And then by fifty or sixty and later, regardless of gender you’ll probably be more concerned with someone to take care of you when you’re forced to retire, your income is slashed in half (or worse) and the Alzheimer’s kicks in. If you don’t have a partner or didn’t decide to produce children, you really will be on your own - After all, your parents will be long dead, as will many of your family and friends. Those who are still alive will probably be too busy dealing with incontinence to worry about yours.

So being single is not about not having a boyfriend/girlfriend when your 21. That’s called being free to play the field. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Beruthiel

Originally posted by The Corinthian
Take it further to a man or woman in their forties and later. You can’t get away with behaving like a twenty-year-old forever

damnittohell TC, it's just not fair
maybe we should start a business for 35's and older

yellum

Originally posted by The Corinthian
.. transitory..... paradigm shift ..... social dynamics ....window of ..... a far less pronounced level....your income is slashed in half .....

I feel like I'm at a business meeting.

Stark

Don't mind being single when there's noone I want to be with. When I meet someone I fancy and can't be with them though, that's when it bites.

tman

Originally posted by k.oriordan
Don't mind being single when there's noone I want to be with. When I meet someone I fancy and can't be with them though, that's when it bites.

aye:(

Johnny Versace

I dislike being single because I like having someone in my life who I care about and who I can have regular sex with.

One night stands bore me.

b3t4

Why I ever wanted to be in a relationship is beyond me.

Being single is great, so so SO many new boys for me to meet :-) I'm 20 and living it up :-)

Now go have fun and enjoy being single Laguna you've no idea what your missing.

A.

Johnny Versace

Well, being in love with someone you think is really special is much much nicer than meeting new people, IMHO.

Zulu

Funny thing that really...
When I'm single I feel lonely and want to be in a relationship.
When I meet someone, I inevitably want to get rid of them.



....here's to waiting for the right person :rolleyes:

Sleepy

Originally posted by Zulu
Funny thing that really...
When I'm single I feel lonely and want to be in a relationship.
When I meet someone, I inevitably want to get rid of them.



....here's to waiting for the right person :rolleyes:

Pass the hymn sheet brother! I think most of us have a touch of that!

][cEMAN**

Originally posted by Beruthiel
damnittohell TC, it's just not fair
maybe we should start a business for 35's and older

Well it's OK if you surround yourself with like aged and like minded people. Then it doesn't matter what other people think.

As for being single.....I dunno. I guess it depends on your mood. At the moment i'm single and i'm loving it. It gives me the freedom to head out and have fun with whoever I want and not have to feel tied down. Sure sometimes it's nice to come home to someone, but after a while that can become a burden. But i'm still young so I guess in a few years i'll want to settle down.

Honestly it could happen now. But again that all depends on meeting the right person.

Silent Grape

i just got out of a 20 month relationship. we'd been sleeping together on and off for about a year before we finally got together. we've been broken up since late january, and are still occasionally sleeping together.

no relationship + lots of sex = happy grape!

im not arsed tbh. i really like being single, to be able to outrageously flirt etc with whoever i like. have fun basically. christ, im only 20, and ive been feeling like i was married for the past 6 months.

SprostonGreen

Only recently became unsingle after a few years in the wilderness. It never really bothered, though on the odd occassion it would.

dictatorcat

The only problem that i have with being single is that when you do your shopping you have to buy meet for 2, vegetables for 2 etc. then freeze half of it. Otherwise you just end up eating weightwatchers mexican chilli for one which in fairness you can only eat if you're not sharing a bed.
But apart from the whole shopping thin it's fine being single! (i'm not so good at self delusion )

dazberry

Happily single (and set in my ways)

Now at 32, it doesn't actually present problems, more so annoyances:

[1] If you happen to talk to a girl in the company of your friends the female partners of your boozy mates are almost planning your wedding.

[2] Even if the above doesn't happen, sometimes they try to do a bit of match making, when all you want to do is get blotted.

[3] Every Aunty seems to be concerned about your singular status using archaic terms like "doing a line". That actually caused a bit of confusion once when asked and I said I don't do drugs.

[4] I find myself having to book my boozy mates to go out ... boozing

[5] They're no point in ringing anyone of a Sunday, it seems to be the visit the in-laws day

[6] Even your ugliest mate is now married, and acting like he's an authority on the subject.

[7] You find yourself being the gooseberry surrounded by couples and more couples. Worst are invited for dinner nights, even if they don't pre-plan an introduction (see [2]).

[8] You start a new job and the immediate question is "Are there any nice girls there". As if I didn't figure that one out within 10 minutes of starting.

[9] People are too fond of using the term - afraid of commitment in your direction. I have my commitments, they just might not be the same as yours :ninja:.

[10] ... and the most damning, your mother decides to have a serious chat and asks if you're gay because you haven't mentioned a girl in so long. Now I might be a bit wrists and elbows, but one thing I wasn't blessed with was the gay gene No offence to the guys in GLB

But would I change it - never say never, but can't (or won't) picture it.

D.

Sarky

It only really bothered me for the few months after I had, as it were, "been let go". Walking around and watching those happy couples prancing about in everyone's face, holding hands and kissing and whatnot just reinforced what had been lost. Once I got over the dumping though it didn't affect me. And now I'm in a relationship again, without even looking for one. That's life. You can hate it all you want, it's still great.

Also, I make a point of not trusting anyone who uses the word paradigm in cold blood.

Sleepy

Originally posted by dictatorcat
The only problem that i have with being single is that when you do your shopping you have to buy meet for 2, vegetables for 2 etc. then freeze half of it. Otherwise you just end up eating weightwatchers mexican chilli for one which in fairness you can only eat if you're not sharing a bed.
But apart from the whole shopping thin it's fine being single! (i'm not so good at self delusion )

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean there. So much food ends up going off in my fridge because I try whenever possible to cook using proper ingredients as opposed to microwaved slop. One of my major pet peeves actually!

yellum

dazberry thats a classic post. Its very true.

ykt0di9url7bc3

I miss the intimacy....

I miss the fun of it....

I miss the weekends in bed....




but at 23, I have a lot of fun anyway...grass being a more pronounced colour on the horizon...that and most of friends & brother being intertwined with someone...

bubblymc

dazberry - I agree with everything you say (but replace he with she!!)

I have no problem being single either. But one thing that is bothering me big time at the moment is that I've been invited to a wedding. And it's just my name on the invite cos they want to set me up with the brides cousin!! Seen pictures, spoken to the guy and I'd still rather be single.

Another thing that grates is that if I'm are invited somewhere and bring a female friend it is presumed I'm a lesbian (no offence to lesbians - but I'm not one).

Other than that life is great!!!

tman

Originally posted by dazberry
[10] ... and the most damning, your mother decides to have a serious chat and asks if you're gay because you haven't mentioned a girl in so long. Now I might be a bit wrists and elbows, but one thing I wasn't blessed with was the gay gene No offence to the guys in GLB

heh. my ma started going on about that whole '1 in 10 people are gay' thing a few weeks back, followed by 'do you have any gay friends' and 'i'm sure you'll make a few when you're living in galway'
I HAD A GIRLFRIEND BEFORE CRIMBO FFS!

Sleepy

Maybe bubbly and daz should meet up for a drink, keep both their mammy's happy! :P

irlirishkev

I'm 26 and have been single since I was 21.
I've had 'relationships' on and off since then, but for whatever reasons, they didn't work out.

This is not (as some people might think) because I have 'trouble with commitment', it's more to do with the fact that I haven't met the right girl. Or if you prefer, I have a problem with ugly and/or irritating and stupid.

Doesn't really bother me. What does bother me is that most of my friends are in relationships, and nights out can often be couple-orientated, which seems to be the common factor in these posts..

Dazberry - You've made a lot of valid points there, think I can relate to all except No.10.. though it's probably not far off!!

When I meet the right girl, if she feels the same about me, then great; but till then, I'm happy enough to go on as I am.. Life's too short to fret over it.. (nearly broke into the theme from 'The Littlest Hobo' there..)

Kev.

Typedef

Being highly independant, and very career orientated in my life, I end up spending the vast majority of my time working/gym/sleeping.

The fact that I don't see any women regularly bothers me in that, at some instinctive level, I'm sure I probably *should* be seeing women, if not, for the base case, that sex is a human right.

Being a man though, I have the advantage when it comes to being able to prorouge my instincts when it comes to pair bonding, since, my own biological clock is between twice and four times as forgiving as the average female's biological clock.

Nah, being single doesn't bother me, except when I bump into ex-girlfriends, mothers, fathers or when I get the urge.

Actually I'm a bit bothered right now.

That said, I've given up going to the pub for sexual encounters, since it mostly leads to me sleeping with women, I ordinarily wouldn't, due to inebreation.

Yeah, I'll just focus on Work/Gym and if I meet a chick, well and good. I mean, if the girls in Dublin would rather sleep with larger louts in pubs, with beer guts who smoke... well and good, I'll wait around for one with taste, who'd rather a guy like me, who hits the gym 5 times a week, drinks minimally, works really hard and excells in his chosen profession.

Kudos to her.

*GRIN*

Zulu

Originally posted by Typedef
I mean, if the girls in Dublin would rather sleep with larger louts in pubs, with beer guts who smoke... well and good, I'll wait around for one with taste, who'd rather a guy like me, who hits the gym 5 times a week, drinks minimally, works really hard and excells in his chosen profession.

Kudos to her.

*GRIN*

huumm well I enjoy the Guinness; the craic in pubs. I smoke. I've a little keg. I'm lazy. I kinda excell in my profession.

God bless Irish women! (I wouldn't call them tasteless , driven people can be a real pain in the ass you know.)

Typedef

Tell it to my abs of steel man!

Zulu

Originally posted by Typedef
Tell it to my abs of steel man!

...do I have too?

Typedef

Figure[1] of speech old boy.

[1]Flexs chest and abs... /huh

Kell

Originally posted by Typedef
Figure[1] of speech old boy.

[1]Flexs chest and abs... /huh

Look at who loves the sight of themselves. Maybe thats why you're not scoring Beths.

K-

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Typedef
Flexs chest and abs... /huh

I suspect that if you limited yourself to flexing your chest and abs and forwent flexing your tongue and vocal cords, you might have better luck with the fairer sex.

Paddy20

I was born single and I intend too die single.

P.:ninja:

Beruthiel

typie, kell, tc
take it to PM or the PTH please

shinzon

yep have to say it bothers me being single to be honest, I suppose part of it is that i havent been looking much, i love female companionship, females are the most complicated wonderous creatures on gods green earth

There smile can light up a room or there frown can devastate you, i hope to someday meet the person i intend to spend the rest of my life with, but until then i intend to enjoy what and who i am now

Shin

Kell

:dunno:

Zulu

Originally posted by shinzon
yep have to say it bothers me being single to be honest, I suppose part of it is that i havent been looking much, i love female companionship, females are the most complicated wonderous creatures on gods green earth

There smile can light up a room or there frown can devastate you, i hope to someday meet the person i intend to spend the rest of my life with, but until then i intend to enjoy what and who i am now

Shin

I'm with you on that one!
(but, to be fair, they can really wreck your head with crazy logic! perfect example being "if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you" )

parker larkin

dazberry you got it in one!

Was in a 5 year thing, lived together and all that jazz, twas amazing, love of my life etc etc. But it was time to move on when we didn't want the same things from life.
Its funny how you can be in love with someone and know that there is no way you can be together, but it's all okay.
Went out with a wanker for 6 months typical rebound thing I know! Now 18 months on, I'm on my own and loving it - have never known myself so well.
My only 2 regrets are the rebound thing, which left me a bit scarred, but I'm working on it. And the absence of male friends in my life at this time.

I particularly found this very funny: [6] Even your ugliest mate is now married, and acting like he's an authority on the subject.
I love being patronised by someone who always moaned about not being able to get a girl to go out with him!

You gotta laugh!

parker larkin

why am I telling strangers this anna?

it's kinda theraputic though!

KlodaX

I don't understand why people are expected to be in couples. Alot of people feel more secure with themselves when they are in a relationship... ever notice those people who have a boyfriend/girlfriend for ages then brake up ... are single for like 2 months and then fall suddenly deeply in love again and are with another boyfriend/girlfriend ... and they just keep doing this untill they get married

I think those people are insecure.

Relationships take effort. It bothers me more to be in a relationship than not.

except if I were to meet someone who just made me happy to be around and who I found extrememly sexy .. and visa versa ... then I'd be annoyed to be single.. then I'd like to be in a relationship.

but what are the chances of that happening? .... I know this sounds cynical ... but you are guaranteed at least one death in this lifetime... you are not guaranteed to find you want to spend your life with .. let alone someone who wants to spend it with you... realistically ... I'd say I have a better chance of dying tomorrow than entering a relationship.

and the fact that I know this, makes me happy to be single I don't get depressed if a fling ends ...
it means I can get on with enjoying the single life.