How do women want...

the_syco

How do women want a guy to approach them in a nightclub? After reading another thread, it seem's the ole "dance beside you" routine doesn't work, so I'm wondering; how should a guy approach a women on the dancefloor / off teh dancefloor?
I'd prefer if women only answer this thread, and no "wot u do is..." threads by the know-it-all-guys, who only have to blink at some lass to get her attention.

I'd like to point out that I'm the gutless type, so just walking up to her + asking her for a dance would be a bit beyond my confidence level. Also, I'm not good-looking*

*in my view, good-looking equals you are slim, well built, etc, and I'm a lanky (6foot6") slightly tubby f*ck

Araniell

To be honest if a guy comes up to me and says "Would you like to dance?" I'm a million times more likely to say yes than if someone tries tricks and ridiculous lines. If someone is able to do that then I'm flattered and predisposed to think well of them, even if they don't look like Brad Pitt or something

If your to shy to actually ask, then an open smile (not a leer) and direct eye-contact sometimes work:)

loismustdie

for some reason i don't like the idea of bein aproached in a club, i know i shouldn't rule it out because for every stereotyp there are exceptions but i have an image in my head that if you're with someone in a club there's nothing more to it than physical attraction if your lucky but in most cases drunkness so you're standards are on vacation or desperation for a shift, none of which are a base for a relationship.
however, if you just want a 1night stand if you see a girl you like you should start talking to her, be friendly but not pushy. i know this will be hard but even do somethin like ask for a light of say somethin like 'are ya haven a good night' if you're standin beside her at bar or whatever. then again every girl differs. if you just wand a shift you should just use the trial and error method but if you was a relationship you should get to know the girl first instead of just bein with some girl in a club

SheroN

To be honest in my experiences, most women have no idea what they want.

ShriekingSheet

Initial contact, like the girls said above- "are ya havin a good night" etc is difficult but you'll get the hang of it. A more tricky problem is (if you're tryin to score, which i assume you are) most really nice (personality-wise) girls WILL give you the time of day and say "yeah thanks" and not be afraid to chit-chat even though they may not wanna score you at all.

So you're chatting away to a nice girl but no idea if you're "in" or she's just bein nice!?

After a good few minutes of talking, if things seem like theyre going well, I try something like "sure, have a drink with me" or less preferably "can i buy u a drink?" (leaves u open to exploitation) with a big friendly smile - NOT sleazy!

That way if she just smiles and says "no thanks" I know Ive been shot down REALLY gentley and if she says "yeah cool" then chances are.....;)

Better than the "LOB THE GOB" technique anyway:D

dod

Originally posted by SheroN
To be honest in my experiences, most women have no idea what they want.

I believe this to be closer to the truth than many of them will ever care to admit.

SheroN

It's basically like this, if you're good looking and they like the look of you, the "dancing beside them" method is ok. Otherwise if you do it you're some form of perv.

Emboss

Originally posted by SheroN
To be honest in my experiences, most women have no idea what they want.

Nail on head!

seamus

Originally posted by SheroN
To be honest in my experiences, most women have no idea what they want.

How about we leave that as a permanent annoucement:

"Women most of the time have no idea what they really want, so don't bother asking here"

Beruthiel

Originally posted by seamus
"Women most of the time have no idea what they really want, so don't bother asking here"

or, maybe we know exactly what we want but if we were to tell you, you’d just break down crying….

ShriekingSheet

Originally posted by Beruthiel
or, maybe we know exactly what we want but if we were to tell you, you’d just break down crying….

And those who DO know....

.....are now gay!

And that also explains the crying/general gentile ness

Its all falling into place!

BrianD3

in my view, good-looking equals you are slim, well built, etc, and I'm a lanky (6foot6") slightly tubby f*ck

There's your problem right there. Your looks are not necessarily a problem, but your negative feelings about your looks are a problem and will severely affect your confidence when it comes to approaching women.

This can be solved with a bit of work. If you're not working out, start. Do weight training and cardio and watch your diet. Read books and webpages on how to build muscle and lose fat. Head on over to the boards.ie Fitness forum for a start. Join a gym or buy some equipment and work out at home. Etc. etc.

If you succeed in building muscle and losing fat you will look better but also you'll feel more confident, both of which are important.

You already have a big natural advantage over most guys - your height. Many women are very picky when it comes to height and often have really stupid and unrealistic opinions and expectations. Eg thinking guys who are 5 ft 10-11 are "short" and not worth dating. It's a protection thing - women like to date large guys that look that they would be able to beat the sh1t out of another guy in a fight. Women always deny this but it's the truth! So hit the gym and build big muscles to go with your impressive height and watch how your confidence soars.

BrianD3

Sleepy

I'm no Bradd Pitt but a tip for asking a girl to dance without saying a word: hold your hand out to offer a dance the way you would in a ballroom. If she takes your hand, dance with her and chat away. If she doesn't, what harm, just put it down to her not being a good dancer and that way your confidence goes un-dented...

It's no sure-fire method but then, nothing really is in life, especially between the two sexes. It's worked a few times for me and it hasn't loads more but hey, life is for living: carpe diem.

ShriekingSheet

Originally posted by Sleepy
I'm no Bradd Pitt but a tip for asking a girl to dance without saying a word: hold your hand out to offer a dance the way you would in a ballroom. If she takes your hand, dance with her and chat away. If she doesn't, what harm, just put it down to her not being a good dancer and that way your confidence goes un-dented...

It's no sure-fire method but then, nothing really is in life, especially between the two sexes. It's worked a few times for me and it hasn't loads more but hey, life is for living: carpe diem.

Ha Ha

Looking at sleepy's picture and imagining Comic Book Guy holding out his hand to some chick on the dance floor in the old palace!!!! Was hearing the step by step instructions in a comic book guy voice too lol!

koneko

Eyecontact. Smile. Conversation. No stupid pickup lines or crap like that. Wimmins are people too. I can't speak for other women but that's what I prefer.

Beruthiel

what koneko said....

dudara

Bang on Koneko, no cheesy chat-up lines, good eye contact, don't stare mind, and a bit of chivalry never goes astray.

Sleepy

Originally posted by ShriekingSheet
Ha Ha

Looking at sleepy's picture and imagining Comic Book Guy holding out his hand to some chick on the dance floor in the old palace!!!! Was hearing the step by step instructions in a comic book guy voice too lol!

Worst blow out. Ever.

koneko

Originally posted by dudara
don't stare mind

That would just be a bit scary.

RUN AWAY!

nads

that's all right coming from boards chicks but i don't think yous represent the mainstream of the birds out there.
Basically if you chicks have the where-with-all to come to boards and post and be sound(which yous are!) that means you're not the 'average-girls' that are out there, you's are better than average n' all that btw don't kill me, but most girls aren't as open and free of minds as yous, and unfortunately they're the ones that pack the nightclubs and they're the target market birds who we're all going to go out and try your methods on.

(puts on Braveheart face paint)
Here's my idea, petition the Dail to make it so that women are the ones who pick their males, they do it anyway in the end afterall, and it'll save time and money, screw sexual conquest.
Unfortunately this will mean less females for some of you, but for me much much more(not really btw )

b3t4

Originally posted by koneko
Eyecontact. Smile. Conversation. No stupid pickup lines or crap like that. Wimmins are people too. I can't speak for other women but that's what I prefer.

what koneko said...

If a guy offers me a drink I tend to turn it down not becuase I'm not interested but I prefer to buy my own drinks.

Also nads you say that us girls on here are "sound" and "better than average",is that not the kind of girl that you want or any guy wants?? Wouldn't using these techniques weed out the ones that you wouldn't want.

My two cense,
A.

Banjo013

In the majority of cases, niteclubs are surreal places where the occupants are not in their right minds. Most people will have some drink on board, and therefore will not be behaving as they would be if you met them on the street or behind their office desk.

The drink makes the guys think they're gods gift, and it makes the women think they're the object of desire for every being with a penis in the place.

The result is members of the respective sexes have no idea what's going on in the minds of each other ... and personally I find that scenario very amusing.

If you ever go to a club and stay on the dry (maybe you're the driver or maybe you don't drink) try to people watch (without looking like a complete perv !).

To me it's amazing to observe. People who (I'd imagine) wouldn't normally go within 100 meters of each other will be wearing the face of each other like it was going out of fashion.

Anyway, my point is that if you're looking to find the perfect relationship in a club, you've more chance of being hit by lightening in the presence of a blue moon while holding the winning lottery ticket in your paw.

I go to clubs cause I like the music and I like a bop. Go there with no preconceptions of meeting the future mother of your children blonde, blue-eyed bombshell who's also a nuclear physicist. I'm sure they do exist, but I've never met one, or heard of anyone meeting one.

So it's all a waste of time if you actually try to pull in this kind of environment. I'm not saying you should ignore the women ... on the contrary smile at them and then go back to what you were doing (assuming what you were "doing" is not another woman !). In my experience, women like to play the hard to get game .... and they will play that game, but only if you don't give the impression that you absolutely desire them. Let them see you can function perfectly well and have a good night without them. But they will notice your confidence and all that jazz.

They wouldn't have got all dressed up and stunning looking if they were out for a quiet pint. But therein is the secret - she expects to be stunning looking .... so try not to be actually stunned, and she will notice that. She'll want to know why you weren't stunned, and at that point is where you've started to reel her in. Then after a while make a request for her priceless company for a slow set.

Women are brilliant. I've been trampled on so many times, but I still think they're fab. Just the whole concept of a woman is fascinating to me, and they deserve every guys top respect and loads of chivalry. So give em what they deserve - and want ... they'll soon be on board

nads

Sir i am in your debt...

could yous by any chance wear a discrete little silver 'B' badge? only jokin'


:cool:

Sleepy

I think that's as much of a personal safety thing as anything b3t4. It's the reason I'd always be reluctant to ask a girl if she'd like a drink. Yes, there's an ever-increasing amount of rohypnol cases etc in Ireland but even forgetting about that, I'm always afraid that the girl will think I'm trying to get her drunk...

koneko

Tip: Don't go for the girls with the big gold hoopy earrings.

MF2HD

Originally posted by nads
that's all right coming from boards chicks but i don't think yous represent the mainstream of the birds out there.
Basically if you chicks have the where-with-all to come to boards and post and be sound(which yous are!) that means you're not the 'average-girls' that are out there, you's are better than average n' all that btw don't kill me, but most girls aren't as open and free of minds as yous, and unfortunately they're the ones that pack the nightclubs and they're the target market birds who we're all going to go out and try your methods on.

So why go to a night club hoping to meet a nice sound girl if you already know they're full of gobsheen chicks. Make more of what you're interested in, interested in reading join a book club (with girls as members), make more of the opportunities around you every day. Get to know the women you work with, you never know unless you ask, they have friends who are single too!!!!

you have to make the effort if clubbing isn't your thing. Word of warning, when you do find these girls get to know them on a personal level first, not as conquests or alien beings you want to stick your manly pieces into!

Laguna

Let's face it. Women only wan't good looking men talking to them in clubs. Let's not pretend you're deeper than the majority of men.

nads

Originally posted by MF2HD
alien beings you want to stick your manly pieces into!

:eek:

... and i've just gotten over my latest gang-probing, thanks for reminding me!

the_syco

Thanks for the info BrianD3

Originally posted by koneko
Tip: Don't go for the girls with the big gold hoopy earrings.

You mean the skanger type, who, if asked, will buy a Fat Frog/high priced drink? I've seen it happen.

Sleepy

Originally posted by koneko
Tip: Don't go for the girls with the big gold hoopy earrings.

Why would anyone go near a hooker in a nightclub? I mean ffs, even the ugliest bird in the place has to be better than paying for it!

[rant]
Hoops are for hookers. No arguments, there is NO classy way of wearing them. If J-Lo wears them, it makes her a hooker, not you classy for copying a cheap trick from the Bronx.
[/rant]

embee

Originally posted by nads
that's all right coming from boards chicks but you're not the 'average-girls' that are out there, you's are better than average n' all that most girls aren't as open and free of minds as yous


Here's my idea, petition the Dail to make it so that women are the ones who pick their males

GWAN teh boards wimmin folk.

We arent the average girls.... no one really is average.... but nightclubs arent perhaps the places to meet nice women like the ones on boards..... Nightclubs tend to be full of the kind of women you dont want, so why go there in search of them?


Also, you may not be aware of this, but in a lot of instances, we DO pick our males. We do it in a subtle way, but we sure as hell do it.

They wouldn't have got all dressed up and stunning looking if they were out for a quiet pint.

Oh yes we would, and in fact, we often do!! We dont get dressed up for the benefit of men, believe it or not.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

theciscokid

Originally posted by SheroN
To be honest in my experiences, most women have no idea what they want.

i second that


EDIT : lol.. i just seen that around five other people quoted the same thing

anyways

theciscokid

Originally posted by koneko
Eyecontact. Smile. Conversation. No stupid pickup lines or crap like that. Wimmins are people too. I can't speak for other women but that's what I prefer.

I mean who the hell uses these stupid pickup lines??

i don't know any, maybe its the people after a nice easy one night stand

whats a good pick up line lol..

Auburn

Originally posted by theciscokid
whats a good pick up line lol..

There are none!!
The stupidest one ever: guy walks up to me, with a glass of ice (the end of his drink), throws it on the floor beside me, jumps up and down on it and says "so now that the ice is broken between us...", just as the bouncer grabs his arm and drags him away.

You won't find girlfriend material in a club (generally). If that doesn't bother you, try and target girls who are standing off the dance floor / at the bar and just strike up a conversation about something. (the ones on the dancefloor generally don't want someone to interrupt their Beyonce / Shakira impression ). Talk about anything at all, the latest rugby / footie match, ask them where they're from, what they do, anything really. I would always refuse someone offering to buy me drinks, though. They're either trying to get you drunk or will think you owe them something.

Emboss

Originally posted by Beruthiel
or, maybe we know exactly what we want but if we were to tell you, you’d just break down crying….

But if you had gotten what you really wanted when you knew you wanted it you wouldn't need to tell us what ye really wanted

ahhhhhhh

Emboss

Originally posted by koneko
Tip: Don't go for the girls with the big gold hoopy earrings.

like? emm beyonce?

or do hoopy ear rings only apply if they're irish?


seems that way :rolleyes:

seamus

Originally posted by Emboss
like? emm beyonce?

or do hoopy ear rings only apply if they're irish?


seems that way :rolleyes:

They don't. Beyonce and J-Lo are scumbags too.

dave13

Originally posted by Sleepy
I think that's as much of a personal safety thing as anything b3t4. It's the reason I'd always be reluctant to ask a girl if she'd like a drink. Yes, there's an ever-increasing amount of rohypnol cases etc in Ireland but even forgetting about that, I'm always afraid that the girl will think I'm trying to get her drunk...

Just to clarify, There has not been a single confirmed case of rohypnol been used in Ireland. A lot of cases where women think they've been drugged it turns out they've drank enough to kill a small donkey. This is from the head of the rape crisis centre.

Slightly off topic but felt i should mention it.

KlodaX

Anyway, my point is that if you're looking to find the perfect relationship in a club, you've more chance of being hit by lightening in the presence of a blue moon while holding the winning lottery ticket in your paw.

I agree. Although if you go to a place often enough .. say cause you like the music... you may notice someone doing the same... especially if they make eye contact with you .. and visa versa .. *get where I'm going with that?* ... maybe make a point of going to the bar the same time as her to strike up a conversation while waiting on drinks.

They wouldn't have got all dressed up and stunning looking if they were out for a quiet pint

oh yes we would. I'm a fiend for clothes .. getting dolled up is half the fun of a Saturday night, where else do I get to wear my nice things?

I go to clubs cause I like the music and I like a bop

Banjo013

Originally posted by redRogue
I agree. Although if you go to a place often enough .. say cause you like the music... you may notice someone doing the same... especially if they make eye contact with you .. and visa versa .. *get where I'm going with that?* ... maybe make a point of going to the bar the same time as her to strike up a conversation while waiting on drinks.

Well I think I know where you're going ...

Originally posted by redRogue
oh yes we would. I'm a fiend for clothes .. getting dolled up is half the fun of a Saturday night, where else do I get to wear my nice things?

I stand corrected ... I am but a dumb male after all ! :dunno:

Sleepy

Originally posted by seamus
They don't. Beyonce and J-Lo are scumbags too.

Woo-hoo! I'm not the only one that thinks that way!

Kai

Originally posted by the_syco
I'd like to point out that I'm the gutless type, so just walking up to her + asking her for a dance would be a bit beyond my confidence level. Also, I'm not good-looking*

*in my view, good-looking equals you are slim, well built, etc, and I'm a lanky (6foot6") slightly tubby f*ck [/B]

Confidence. If you have that then you go a long way. Fellas who dont get girls constantly talk about girls liking bast@rds. Thats cos bastards chat them up as they are confident.

If you cant walk up to a girl and say hi would you like a drink then your chances of scoring are zero.

paulthelegend

Im gona give away my trade secret here the ultimate chat up line well its more of a conversation started ... and girls tell me wha you think

walk up and say .... "Hey, im not gona use a cheesy chat up line on you, and i dont ever do this sort of thing so im a bit nervous but my names paul"


The nervous bit shows them your not a player and that your vulnerable, but walking up shows your confidant ... Of course you need to be there type aswell but unless im completely off i think most girls would be happy with that type conversation starter, gives them a chance to politely say no if there fellas are just gone to the toilet or something haha and its not aggressive

Kalina

Originally posted by SheroN
To be honest in my experiences, most women have no idea what they want.

You're probably right there SheroN, I don't seem to know what I want, or who, from one day to the next. But recent negative experiences have led me to believe that men don't know what they want either. So it's a case of men not really understanding women and vice versa. Age old problem.

As for the original question about being approached in nightclubs- I don't like it at all. I won't accept a drink from a guy I don't know, nor will I dance with him no matter how he approaches me. But that's just me, and the frame of mind I'm in lately. When I was 16, 17 and 18 I might have acted differently but not anymore. I tend to only go for guys that I've known for a little while, cos that way you can guage what he's like and what he's looking for.

bdiddy

Originally posted by Kalina
When I was 16, 17 and 18 I might have acted differently but not anymore. I tend to only go for guys that I've known for a little while, cos that way you can guage what he's like and what he's looking for.

So what you're sayin is this kinda thing works wit 16/17 and 18 year olds....... eeeehhh????


In all honesty tho i find it impossible to chat up girls in clubs, i always try get the hard work done in the pub b4 hand and then see how things go after that.

JohnnyBravo

Guy: Fifty ton Penguin
Girl: the the fu....
Guy: Well i had to break the ice somehow

Zulu

Originally posted by Laguna
Let's face it. Women only wan't good looking men talking to them in clubs. Let's not pretend you're deeper than the majority of men.

Rubbish!

Girls don't like boys....












...girls like cars and money!

JohnnyBravo

How many cars and how much money

Zulu

Originally posted by JohnnyBravo
How many cars and how much money

beauty is proportional to the sum of both.

JohnnyBravo

so having lots of either makes you pretty oh so pretty
and having none of either makes you ugly and all the relevant problems that comes with it