Am I Seeing things ?

LegacyUser

Hi,

I need some help and any advice would be greatly appreciated

I'm a 21 year old guy, I've been with guys and girls. I don't consider myself gay or straight -- I just like who I like and am happy with that. I don't feel the need to force it down peoples throats either, but most of my friends probably have some idea or suspicion I'm not 100% straight, saying "they" where I could have said "her" or "she" that kinda thing

My problem is that lately one of my male friends has been getting a little uhm...close to me. He's 21 too and I've known him for years. We've always been friends, just hanging around in the same group.
He's straight (as far as I can tell), has a girlfriend who I got to know through him and get on really well with -- to the point I'd consider her a good friend.

Lately he's been giving me some odd signs though. It started late last year I guess. We were at a party and he'd had a few drinks, he came over to me, I was sitting in a chair talking to someone, and he sat down in my lap. I didn't think much of it at the time, I thought he was just messing around -- at the most taking the piss in a subtle way about my semi-gayness I put my hands in his lap and continued my conversation. He sat there for about 20 mins despite the occaisional odd looks from people, including his girlfriend.

I didn't think much of it at the time, but it all started from there. Little things at first, like putting his arm on top of mine in the cinema -- well it's hard to get comfy in those seats sometimes

It seems to be building up though and I'm not sure to what. One Saturday night a few weeks ago he was saying goodbye to his girlfriend after a night of beers and kissed her goodnight, I laughed and said something like "hey, how come I don't get one of those" and he turned to me, was about 2 inches from my face and looking into my eyes. I'm not sure how long he stayed there but it was probably longer than he should have, so I put my palm over his mouth and kissed the back of my hand, then laughed.
It happened again another night, except I didn't even say anything then, but I still used the same joke (pfft, originality is dead).

3 weekends ago his parents were away and a few of us were out in his house for a few beers. I'm very ticklish and he enjoys taking advantage of this. That night he tickled my toes (I was sitting on the floor wearing socks (and other clothes, before corrupted imaginations take over)) and got the expected result, but then he stopped and started rubbing my feet gently -- it was really nice, he stopped after about 30-40 seconds.

That night he went to bed with his girlfriend and I'd guess did boy-girl things to her I had a room to myself with a nice big comfy bed.

The next morning I was woken up by someone climbing onto my bed. He was there on his own, fully dressed, he lay on top of me with his head held above mine. He smiled at me and I smiled back, turned away and fell back to sleep with him still lying on top of me. The next time I woke up his girlfriend was in the room and he was getting off my bed.

There have been other times, he's rubbed my tummy for a few seconds or put his head on my shoulder. It's got me confused though, some people are just touchy-feely people, although he doesn't do anything like this with any of our other friends.

When I'm thinking clearly I know to do anything with him would be a mistake. There's a good chance it could ruin our friendship and I really like his girlfriend and wouldn't want to hurt her. He is very cute though. Very, very cute. And while I may always think clearly, sometimes other bits of me do take control.

Do you think he's just being playful ? I have no idea how he'd react if I said anything about this to him, I don't think confrontation would work very well.

If he tried anything, even if he broke up with his girl first, it's just one big bad idea right ?

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Boys eh!

swiss

Do you think he's just being playful?

In a word, no. The question is what message is he trying to send out? Maybe he just likes a little intimate contact with a friend of his and wouldn't think of going any furthur, or maybe he would genuinely fancy jumping in the sack with you. Based on what you've said, I would suspect the latter. Frankly, if a guy started doing with me what he's being doing with you I would definitely think that he at least has some attraction for me.

However, the main issue is the girlfriend. She would have to be pretty clueless not to see some of what's going on. Maybe she's open minded about sexuality, but this guy is still her boyfriend and she has a right to expect him to remain faithful to her while they are together. Since you know her very well, you might have some insight into what she thinks of this whole situation.

You should also ask your friend what he means by his behaviour towards you. You don't have to be confrontational about it - simply say that you've noticed the change and you wonder what the motive was behind it.

If he tried anything, even if he broke up with his girl first, it's just one big bad idea right ?

Well if he did break up with his girlfriend for whatever reason, if you like him you should at least find out whether he likes you or not. It might suck for her, but she can't have a monopoly on him after breaking up with him. If anything did happen in that circumstance and you know she would disapprove if he did pursue you, would you rather remain friends with her, or try something with him?

BuffyBot

[devils advocate]I'm going to disagree with Swiss and say that perhaps you are reading too much into it. Maybe he just is being playful, and is comfortable with you and your sexuality and doesn't want to take it further. He may not even realise that he's crossing boundries. In this kind of situation (and I've been in it) it's easy to read into things and assign them meanings that they don't actually have [/devils advocate]


However, either way, I do agree with swiss when he says that you could ask him about it

Beruthiel

Originally posted by Ardam
Do you think he's just being playful ?

out of the question tbh, from what you have said above, he fancies you, I agree with swiss there, not sure what message he's trying to send out with regards to having his girlfriend in the same building and him coming into your bed like that, manage a trois? anyway, you won't know till you ask but I don't think anyone behaves in such an intimate way towards another person unless on some level they are attracted to them

Rock Climber

And i'm going to disagree with Buffybot

First off I think whats going on is sweet.

I would be concerned with the girlfriend situation but I'll deal with that in a minute.
If I was you, I'd definitely go with my feelings and encourage whats going on and definitely see where it leads. If someone was that affectionate with me, I would reciprocate if I liked him.

Definitely ask him what the story is, starting off with the "hey i like you and if you want to {start something } yes I'm interested" speech.
Be 100% open as that usually encourages the other person to be open back, especially if you are close.
You may have a one in a million chance here and it would be a shame i think to let it go.

The very fact that your friend is behaving in this way towards you makes it natural that you should ask so I wouldnt be worried about the consequences.

Regarding the girlfriend, you can discuss that once you know the story between yourself and yer man.
It's no different really than when a boy takes someone elses girlfriend.
Your friend will make a choice and hopefully, if it's what you want that choice will be you.
People break up and form new relationships all the time so don't be worried about his gf's reaction if ye do get together, it's just fate,after all he was your friend first.

Hope that helps-do post back with an update though, it would be nice to know

tendofan

Maybe he's interested, which I think seems highly likely, but maybe he knows you so long and is spectacularly clueless about crossing boundaries.

Ask him. Start by saying that you've noticed a change in his behaviour and that it's confusing for you, and see where it goes from there.

Tendofan

ridgewalker

If there was ever a case to excercise some caution this most certainly is it.
The thing is that your obviously biased in the way you are looking at the situation and to second guess your close friends motivation is pretty risky.

I think that Rock Climbers points are all well and good as long as you can be assured that things are gona go your way. The 100% openness/speech approach could backfire royally leaving you minus one very good friend. I'd say your better of to move things along in a slower more subtle way. if hes messing with your head just go right ahead and mess with his.
Another option would involve alota alcohol, 'in vino veritas' n all that!!!

Rock Climber

Originally posted by ridgewalker
The 100% openness/speech approach could backfire royally leaving you minus one very good friend.

Nah! I doubt it in this case, if ardam is interested, then go for it and see what happens.
Faint heart never won fair... and all that.
Good luck ardam, have fun and don't forget to let us know how u get on

claire h

Awwww. It sounds really sweet. It mightn't mean anything, but on the other hand... just go with your instinct. If there's a Moment that might lead to something more, and you think taking it further would be the right thing to do, then go for it.

Alcohol will of course help, and can be a wonderful scapegoat if needs be.

Atreides

Similiar things happen with friends of mine and myself, I mean I've danced with othermen, done the whole knee sitting thing you mentioned and a few other things, and never had anything untoward, a gay friend even kissed me once. Don't really know where I'm going with this, except maybe things arn't the way you think they are.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the advice!

BuffyBot covered the reason I posted in the first place. I can't tell if the guy likes me or is just really comfortable around me. Whenever I try to convince myself either way I can always think of two or three things to contradict that.

I like the guy, he's attractive and though I'd never thought about doing anything with him before it is an appealing idea. But that makes any opinion I have biased from the start

In this case, knowing the guy, I don't think the 100% openness approach is the right one to take. It could backfire in a very bad way. There've been times before where it's worked very well for me, but given what I stand to lose I don't think it'd be a good idea. Don't get me wrong, I don't think he'd stop liking me just that he may feel awkward around me.

I guess what's confusing me is that while anything he does isn't specifically gay, he doesn't do it with any of our other friends -- male or female. Perhaps he feels more at ease around me, I'd consider myself pretty laid back (bordering on downright lazy) and I'm certainly not very threatening

I don't drink very much and it's been months since I was drunk enough to use the "I had no idea what I was doing" excuse. So the alcohol approach mightn't work so well ... but I can always try

Soooooooooooooooooooooo, I think I'll play it safe. Enjoy the affection, enjoy the attention and enjoy the friendship (hmm, maybe a career as a romantic "comedy" script-writer would suit me better).

Maybe Next time we're saying goodbye after a few pints on a Saturday night I might ask for a hug. If it gets tense and uncomfortable I can always laugh it off as a joke, otherwise ... who knows.

Either way, I'll keep you updated. Thanks for all the advice. I think I've made the right decision.

boomdogman

Yes he fancies you but he might run a mile if you did something. He might even do it with you then run a mile! If he breaks up with her give it an intervalfor decency then go for it. It might be love, it might not but believe me the only sins are tose of omission. Don't get old and wonder would it have, if they break up go for it.

Have to warn you tho that you gotta get out their and live, they may not and you do fancy him, any one can tell that from the post. I hates heartbreak!

Stark

It sounds to be like he just enjoys being a "prick-tease". Power-tripping on the thought of getting you all excited over him. I've known plenty of guys like this. It's a head-wrecker because they really are the best flirts in the business.

Terminator

What a sweet post. Monthly updates is a necessity.

Trojan

(straight POV - dunno if it's welcome but what the hey...)

He's definitely at least bi or very confused (hey, remember how homophobic we can be). Can't hurt to try it on.

k.o.r: you mentioned guys being prick-teases? Did you mean straight guys? Interesting.

uberwolf

I've always ****** with the head of one of my gay mates, not for any good reason but its kind of just the dynamic of our relationship and we both know its a mess even though he's admitted fancying the pants off me. I guess if it were a boy girl thing it would wreck my head so its poss unfair. But nothing like you've described and my Gf has chided me for it at times.

*there really was no good word to use there

Its really hard to tell in cases where sexuality is up for debate cos there really is no way of telling (in my limited experience) and it adds hugley to the variables to figure out. Good luck

memphis

I'm inclined to agree with Trojan on this, being on the confused side myself, I reckon that this guy is also confused.

As for the prick-teaser thingy, can someone elaborate on that please?? I don't think I'm alone when I say I don't understand what you meant by the above statement.

As for what I think the original poster should do about this.... just talk to your friend, ask him what his intentions and motives for his actions are.

Memphis

spooiirt!!

you queers are ruining the army!!

azezil

Originally posted by Trojan
k.o.r: you mentioned guys being prick-teases? Did you mean straight guys? Interesting.

AHAHAHA oh heeellllll no, sorry but there's no way IN HELL a straight guy could be a cock tease

swiss

Originally posted by memphis:

As for the prick-teaser thingy, can someone elaborate on that please??

From what I understand, a prick tease is someone who intentionally tries to arouse guys, but who would shirk from actually having intimate relations with them. Girls are often accused of being prick teases. It's not a particularly nice term though - try to avoid using it .

I don't think a straight guy would intentionally be a 'prick tease' but it could be that this guy is just being playful and doesn't realise that his attentions can be misconstrued. However, I don't especially think that this is the case in this particular instance.

azezil

I've been called both a cock and fanny tease

Stark

swiss would prefer the term pee-wee-tease

azezil

lmao

Gummy Panda

I think he is teasing you!!

He could be teasing you cause he likes the idea of having everyone fancy him or cause he is confused and wants you to take control over the situation and act on it.

I am as much as a flirt as your friend regardless of the sex but i'm straight so he could just be very liberal and loves having a laugh.

Problem with being a flirt is that you can send mixed signals to people which some people act apon. Luckly everyone i flirt with (unintenational. sp?) knows what i'm like and ignores it or plays along.

All i can say is play back and see how far he's willing to go. Just make sure you play back slowly.

yellum

Originally posted by azezil
there's no way IN HELL a straight guy could be a cock tease

Bullshit. Anyone that flirts can be a prick tease.

Caliden

consider all possibilities before acting on this.

perhaps he just wants to feel more comfortable with who you are?
maybe he wants you to know that he truly is really ok with you as a person.


i wouldn't take any action yet unless he does something major.
even responding incorrectly to any of these "incidents" could ruin your freindship and make things really awkward.

But believe your gut feeling and do what you think is RIGHT not what your body is telling you

the_syco

I'm straight, So I'm going to reply in hopefully an unoffensive manner to ye lot.

If another male did that sh*t to me, I'd box him. Just a playful punch, not a Muhammad-Ali-knockout-punch.

There are 4 things;

A) He's taking the serious piss out of your lifestyle.

Wot Caliden said above.

C) If he's in the 16 to 22 age bracket, he may just be curious. Seeing how you'd react, etc.

D) He's intrested, but doesn't want to be the one to say so.

Best advice; Next time he "comes onto you", and your in a comfortable setting, eg; @ home, etc, not in niteclub, ask him "do you wanna get kinky", in a half serious, half playful voice.
If he jumps up***, and backs to the other side of the room, take the piss out of him, and explain how his "actions" looked like.
If he responds, well, in a gay fashion, talk to him, and see wots up. He may be "C)", or he may have feelings for you.

***=As a straight guy, this is pretty much wot I'd do. I'd be like "WTF?", etc. He may not see wot he does as sexual, as he may do it to the GF so much, and also you've never said no, so he may think its normal.

Note; I ain't a shrink, so don't take my word as the gospel truth.

dr_manhattan

Okay, right, you're a sweetheart ardam, sounds like he's a sweetheart too, I agree with those who thought of it as a sweet post - it reminds me of why I surf posting boards when I read stories like this.

Thing is, IMHO social barriers can be so well ingrained that it's very easy to waste our lives moving around and between them: I bet you didn't come out so that you could be inhibited in further ways, and I'm guessing that your friendship with this guy is strong enough to take some rough air if need be.

People cannot, much as we would all sometimes like to, escape their sexuality, and in my experience there's always at least one night when, sometimes for good reason, sometimes for no reason, you feel like getting all hot sauce with one of your friends, often regardless of their sex.

Being attracted to someone is not something to worry about, and personally if I were you, i'd jump his bones so damn fast his head would spin - but there again I would be in the upper 70% of the slut register, that's just me.

It doesn't sound like torture to hang out with him, but it does sound like something that needs to be sorted in one way or another - and as far as his GF is concerned, sure it may be a bit bad of you, but surely it's up to him and her to manage their levels of commitment to each other...?

Oh I dunno. I just know that there's enough barriers in the way of having good naked fun with people you like and care about, without getting all wound up: I wish you the best of luck with this guy, and practically *demand* an invite to any potential weddings, hahahahaha

;-)

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I'd like to say I'm amazed at the amount of responses there have been and I'd like to sincerely thank you all for your help & advice thanks for the sweetheart comment too, you golden tounged charmer

In my last post I said that I'd decided to do nothing about it. That's still kinda true. It's unlikely I'll do anything with him, ever. That doesn't sound like a happy ending I know -- but it probably is in the long run. We share the same friends, any relationship would be problematic to say the least.

Now this becomes purely a scientific matter. To answer some questions in no particular order:

He is affectionate with his girlfriend -- but not when I'm around.

He may not understand or appreciate social boundaries but, as I've said, he doesn't do anything like this with any of our other friends. For example: we were out on Saturday night and the pub was quite noisy, talking to anyone else he would just shout loudly beside them, talking to me his tongue brushed against my ear a couple of times.
I fully accept that this may be for 100 other reasons than he's attracted to me (more comfortable around me/thinks I'm deaf/etc) but I'd still like to know why

He may not realise I'm gay/bi/random, I think most of my friends would have some idea though but some probably think I'm completely straight. I'd assume him being closer, smarter and more observant he'd have an idea.... but maybe not to the full extent.

The "want to get kinky ?" approach may just work and I'm very tempted to try it should a suitable opportunity arise. Purely for research purposes you understand. Ahem.

Honestly though, I'd like to have a proper relationship and do coupley things than have another one night stand (no matter how much fun that might be). So I think I'll label him as "Just a Friend" and leave it at that.

Isn't it fun to be single... but that's a whole other thread.



Thanks guys

jerenaugrim

Originally posted by azezil
AHAHAHA oh heeellllll no, sorry but there's no way IN HELL a straight guy could be a cock tease

And we can't dance or dress properly either.

The whole affair sounds very sweet. Why not just continue to flirt, without forcing anything? Is it disturbing to not know what exactly is going on?

LegacyUser

Hiya,

It's been a while since I've posted but thats kinda cos not much has happened... sortof

I made some new friends in a new job and ended up not seeing the other guy very much. Easily went a month without seeing him, just hanging around with different groups of people basically.

Last weekend was his birthday and he invited me round to his place where everyone was having a few drinkies. I kinda got delayed so I wasnt able to turn up until everyone was already pretty drunk. He'd drank quite a bit (you only turn 22 once, but who needs an excuse for vodka).

Everything was fine, talked to him a bit but he was quite hammered and I was totally sober. Everything seemed fine and he didn't "try" anything. I was a bit releived to be honest. Made things easier

So the time came to go into town. The only other sober person there was driving and we all squashed into his car. I was sitting in the back and the birthday boy opened the door beside me. There wasn't much space but he could've fit beside me. Instead he chose my lap... Fair enough I thought, he's hammered. Then he put my hands in his lap ....he's pretty fit ("cute fit" is more accurate, but doesn't sound right)... so I didn't mind.

Everyone was squished in and the driver didn't mind the odd situation in the back. Then he kinda leaned back and put one arm around me, sorta around my neck. Its quite hard to demonstrate without hand gestures. No problem I thought, he's just getting comfy, I'm not exactly padded, certainly not for comfort.

Then with his arm around me he started stroking my face. Just touching my cheek gently at first, then more of a caress, running all the way down my face, down my neck. At this stage my mind was not well focused and the drinks I'd had before we left were starting to kick in. I was getting a little ......excited...... and I'm pretty sure he could feel it too

When he ran his finger along my bottom lip and then gently pushed it in my mouth I sorta woke up. I was in a car full of very straight guys, with a very straight guy on my lap, who has a girlfriend and just ...happened.. to have his finger in my mouth. The guy beside us said something but I think he was too drunk to care anyway. I chickened out. I pretended to bite his finger and shook my head in what I hoped was a cute "not now, ....maybe later" way

He took his arm back from behind my head. Sat forward a bit and held the headrest of the passengers seat. He didn't say anything, so I kept my hands in his lap. They were resting lightly on his thighs. He shuffled a bit and my hand sorta fell off him, I left it just down by my side incase this was a backoff sign or something. The very last thing I'd want is to make him uncomfortable. A few seconds later his hand was resting gently on top of mine.

I was so glad he wasnt uncomfortable with me I wrapped my arms around his tummy and gave him a big squeeze. Then put my hands back. I don't know, that's when it all got confusing in my head. I wanted to hug and cuddle the guy. Not.. just... sex.

All this happened without a word said.

Got to the pub and we drank some more, everyone was happy we were talking and laughing a lot. We werent touching or physically close or that, just talking and enjoying each others company. By then he'd overdone it a bit on drinks and went to the toilets to be sick. About 10 minutes later I was walking him outside and called a taxi to bring him home. As he was getting into the taxi I half-jokingly said something close to "want me to make sure you get into bed safe too ?". He laughed and got in alone, drove off.

I sent him a text message the next day asking how he was but I got no reply.

I've said already I didn't think anything would ever come of this and was happy to leave it as "just friends". Now, I still feel the same, I mean, I know it's best not to change anything. But...... I'd have gone home with him and cuddled him all night without it having to be sexual if he'd wanted. I'm not .......falling....... for him am I ?

Sorry if this has been long and pointless. I'm sure I'll get lots of good advice here, but things are probably gonna stay how they are. Of straight guys and not so straight guys, the latter (in my experience) can be the most homophobic, it's not worth risking a long friendship over.......

Stark

Ever think of writing romance novels?

Rock Climber

Originally posted by Ardam
Hiya,

But...... I'd have gone home with him and cuddled him all night without it having to be sexual if he'd wanted. I'm not .......falling....... for him am I ?

yes

Then with his arm around me he started stroking my face. Just touching my cheek gently at first, then more of a caress, running all the way down my face, down my neck. At this stage my mind was not well focused and the drinks I'd had before we left were starting to kick in. I was getting a little ......excited...... and I'm pretty sure he could feel it too

Where was his girlfriend?
Was she not at his birthday party?
If not why not? and if she was, why wasn't she going home with him?
I nearly got a woody reading that to be honest
You should have slapped the gob in, at least then you would know.
By the sounds of things he would like that.
But don't worry, there will be other oportunities with him

Originally posted by Stark
Ever think of writing romance novels?

/ me is rolling on the floor laughing at that one

Jpaulik

I agree with Rock Climber. You described the scene so well. I could picture myself there. I would have started sucking on his finger and moved my face close to his and see what he would have done.

Forget the other drunken fools in the car. It's you and him and nobody else. It could be written off as a drunken mess gone too far easily enough for the lads not to be suspicious.

But yeah, as Rock Climber said a situation like that will come up again. Take your time and just be prepared to not run away when it happens.

Stark

Have you ever tried getting him away on his own? Does he give you much attention when you're out with him and "the lads"? Have you ever asked him to come over to a quiet side of the bar with you or to go out with you for drinks, just you and him full stop? I think I stand by my original statement of "attention seeking prick tease". He might have lingering feelings of homosexuality but at the end of the day he simply thinks it's fun to get you aroused (I guess that is gay in itself). Time to see if he'll go beyond games.

Joe23

Does he actually know you're Gay, And I mean for definite.

Falkorre

its real simple, ..........
Phone him one night, just reeeeal casual, ask him if wants to go for a drink. If not that night then the next, make it clear u mean just the two of ya. (ie: "we aint had a chance for a good ole gossip in ages without all the other lot").

If he says yes and looks to bring somone else along, then its likely he dosent relish you two being alone, and if so, he prolly wants to keep it just "flirty".

If he says yes an brings no-one, then wait for him to make a move and then *follow through!* ur never gonna know otherwise are u?

if u are good friends, and u make a bad move, as long as u dont rip his clothes off and whip it out then an there in the bar, *you* do somthing small, a flirty peck on the cheek that *has the oppertunity to continue maybe. if it dosent, then u can brush it off in a funny kinda way, an it likely wont harm the friendship.

better to know once an for all then to spend the next 50 years wondering, also, seems to me *he* keeps being the one making all the "potential" moves and you keep (possibly) being the one confusing *him* by not responding either way definitively. If he *is* interested, he may lose interest if u dont, then you'll *never* know.

B

(also remember, often the BEST and longest relationships *started* as pure friendships! )

PPS: you, should write a homo-flirty-comedy book! Perhaps a kinda homo "bridget jones type thing! I for one would buy it! lol

LegacyUser

Originally posted by Rock Climber

Where was his girlfriend?
Was she not at his birthday party?
If not why not? and if she was, why wasn't she going home with him?

His girlfriend is in college in a whole other county. She's in the middle of exams at the moment so too busy to come home and say hello..... I know I know, but that's girls for you

I nearly got a woody reading that to be honest
You should have slapped the gob in, at least then you would know.
By the sounds of things he would like that.

"Gwaaann, get that inta ya". Not the classiest approach but, I must admit, one I've yet to try.

Does he actually know you're Gay, And I mean for definite.

Hard to say, probably. I'm not exactly gay, more AC/DC and refusing to accept a label ....some might say its more denial than refusal.... but who listens to them anyway

The drinks on our own, "just to catch up " sounds like a good idea. Sounds like a very good idea. I'll let you know how I get on........

I nearly got a woody reading that to be honest

....only I won't go into so much detail



....you'll have to buy the book for that, but on the plus side, there'll be pictures

Zillah

Wonderful!

...that's all really, I've just really enjoyed this thread. And seriously, write romance novels!

And updates, chapter two please.

Falkorre

Ardam,
For the sake of everything good and funny left in this world, start a blog, or a Journal -> http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/journal.php pwwwweeeze!? Its prolly the only one Id consider reading!!

B

LegacyUser

Drinks you said...

We arranged to go for drinks but he invited a bunch of other people out too.
My head: Ok, we're just friends and that's how it's gonna be, at least I'll have a few pints.

After the first drink he suggests we go somewhere else. Just the two of us. Alone.
My head: Yes. YES. YESSSSS. [For brevity, I'll remove the list of things I was hoping to do to him].

We leave and he asks me where I'd like to go, suggests my favourite spot. It's quiet and relaxed and never too crowded. Walking there we talk and laugh a lot, things are going nicely.
My head: This boy is going to feel lucky tonight .

In the pub and we keep talking and laughing, having fun, really enjoying each others company. But that's as far as we seem to get. Sometimes the conversation goes in the uh..right direction but it never goes that far. Talking about body hair is the most intimate that happens. During the night he points out nice girls to me and I make an effort to not notice (even though they are niiiiiiice).
My head: What?! Nonononono.....WHAT ?


This night happens twice in four nights. Almost exactly the same each time. The second night he says is his "last night of freedom" before his girlfriend comes home for the Summer. I made an extra effort to suggest, in a I-could-be-joking-but-maybe-I'm-not way, that I'd like to do something more with him. Nothing.
My head: Confused.


Things have been pretty normal lately, despite his girlfriend being back he still touches me when we're around. Nothing over the top, just casually laying a hand on my shoulder that kinda thing. He still doesn't do this with any of our other friends. Perhaps I wear lots of soft clothes

I am quite convinced now he doesn't feel anything sexual towoards me. Today I went swimming with a few other friends and I invited him along. If he'd wanted to see me in shorts, dripping wet and panting he'd have come along. He said he was tired from working all week and that he wanted to stay in bed. If it'd been the other way around, I know I'd have found the energy


So that's it. We're just friends and that's all it's going to be. No biggy. There are lots of fun people waiting for me to play with

My sincerest thanks for all the advice, the suggestions and book requests But I think this will be Ardam's Last Post -- it's back to my regular account now.

To borrow (and warp) a line from Jerry Springer... Enjoy yourselves and each other.

Rock Climber

Awwww!
Just as well you're able for this type of teasing and teasing is exactly what it is.
I've no doubt that given the right set of circumstances, your mate *would probably* experiment with you and that you and possibly he would enjoy that, but Qué sera sera etc maybe sometime, never rule it out, just because it hasn't happened doesn't mean it won't.

In the mean time, it's a good job you are posting unregistered as your PM inbox would be full at this stage:D

Best of luck anyways
*HUGS*
Rockie