Jordan on the dunphy show

Kopf

She was just on the Dunphy Show and I was quite surprised at how stupid and ignorant someone can be. I didn't think it was possible. She was obviously coked out of it but still, what a fvcking brainless ****. What does everyone else think?

quank

:O she was on it?
what was she like?


and what was she wearing.....:ninja:

Kopf

barely anything, skirtwise.

she was a total idiot. she *kept* interrupting eamonn, shouting "shut up" and such crap.

Just comparing it in my mind now with the performance (in interview) bob geldof gave a few weeks ago. I was stunned by his command of and grace with the English language, he put his thoughts forward, however intricate, in a toally coherent and understandable and incredibly impressive fashion.

Jordan, on the other hand, is an abomination of a person. She showed herself to be nothing more than a receptacle for come.

mike65

She's appalling but merely the product of her environment I'd say...whats bugged me what that Dunphy or rather his producer thought Jordan was appropriate material for his show..I cant figure it out is she the "lightweight" to say, Robert Fisks heavy?

Mike.

Elmo

Eamonn Scrapes bottom of the Barrel

And now hes licking it.

mike65

Eamo is in no postion to have a go at Pat Kenny anymore and am I the only one who reckons that Gaybo
puppet thing is waste of space...

As a side note its interesting to see how the Norn Iron chat shows have run for cover since the Late Late/ Dunphy Show phoney war began. Its the only positive aspect of the whole sorry saga.


Mike.

DMT

Originally posted by mike65
am I the only one who reckons that Gaybo
puppet thing is waste of space...

That has to be the lamest thing I've ever seen - it's not even the slightest bit funny and runs on for too long.

Gay Byrne may be the puppet but Eamonn Dunphy is the muppet*



* This is getting added to my sig...

BrianD3

The show was cringeworthy. I don't know what possessed them to have Jordan on. As soon as Eamon introduced her as his next guest, I had a feeling of "oh no this is going to be embarrassing" Sure enough the first thing she did was bend over in her tiny skirt flashing her knickers to everyone. It was crass. Also, she could barely string a sentence together and kept interrupting.

And I wouldn't be a fan of Tommy Tiernan who was also on the show. Am I the only one who thinks this guy is a stupid w*nker who isn't funny at all. His anal sex/vicks vaporub gag was one of the lamest things I've ever heard. Still, Tiernan was an intellectual heavyweight compared to Jordan

BrianD3

mike65

Originally posted by BrianD3

And I wouldn't be a fan of Tommy Tiernan who was also on the show...His anal sex/vicks vaporub gag was one of the lamest things I've ever heard.

BrianD3

Agreed as I peered through my fingers I thought this is just "makey-upey" not the humourous relating of a true story as he said.

Mike.

Cork

The David McWilliams / Fintin O Toole pice was very good. It was a pity it was not 45 minutes longer.

Bard

Fair play to Tommy Tiernan for walking off when he did. If it were me, I'd have left earlier.

Kopf

Originally posted by Bard
Fair play to Tommy Tiernan for walking off when he did. If it were me, I'd have left earlier.

Indeed, actions speak louder than words. I don't think jordan really understood what it meant though.

DMT

Originally posted by Kopf
Indeed, actions speak louder than words. I don't think jordan really understood what it meant though.

I like the way he waved to audience before going backstage instead of just storming off...

Originally posted by mike65
Agreed as I peered through my fingers I thought this is just "makey-upey" not the humourous relating of a true story as he said.

I still thought that was funny though - I guess you either like his humour or you don't.

ColinM

Originally posted by BrianD3
And I wouldn't be a fan of Tommy Tiernan who was also on the show. Am I the only one who thinks this guy is a stupid w*nker who isn't funny at all.

No, you're not. The simple fact is that Tommy Tiernan just isn't funny, ever.

I know, because I know what is funny and what isn't. It's a skill most people don't have.

I'd say he's robbing people to charge them to see his "act", but truthfully the sheep pay up willingly to have their intelligences insulted.

bus77

Heheh , high as a kite was katie, I think dunfey handled her well
shes gona end up commitin suicide like munroe

Space Coyote

I havent seen the 'show' in a while but it's obvious that Dunphy is not right for tv. He's got a head like a melted bucket and he acts like an extra out of Captain Scarlet in front of the camera. They should rename it the muppet show and bring in Waldorf and Statler to host it.

Mossy Monk

Originally posted by Space_Coyote
He's got a head like a melted bucket and he acts like an extra out of Captain Scarlet in front of the camera

sounds like it was an eventful show last night. i might tape it tonight and watch tomorrow

-Wheeler-

Originally posted by ColinM

I know, because I know what is funny and what isn't.

That's such a ridiculous statement that I assume you post it in jest

Kopf

Originally posted by wheeler_1028
That's such a ridiculous statement that I assume that you post it in jest

unfortunatly i doubt it

BrianD3

Not a good night for TV. I couldn't take anymore of Jordan/Tiernan so switched to the Late Late - and who was on it - Brendan O'Carroll. Another unfunny w*nker :rolleyes:

But the worst programme on TV last night was the Kelly show. Anyone see it? Kelly is tripe at the best of times but last night one of the guests was Kathy Lette. Cringeworthy is an understatement. She was actually worse than Jordan. Did anyone see it? I wanted to hide behind the sofa when she sat on Kelly's lap at the end....

BrianD3

DMT

Originally posted by ColinM
I know, because I know what is funny and what isn't. It's a skill most people don't have.

You remind me of that priest in the aeroplane episode of Father Ted who said:

"I think I should get the parachute because I'm great!"

Repli

Originally posted by DMT
"I think I should get the parachute because I'm great!"

In fact I think I should get BOTH parachutes.. in case one breaks!

GuanYin

Originally posted by ColinM
No, you're not. The simple fact is that Tommy Tiernan just isn't funny, ever.

I know, because I know what is funny and what isn't. It's a skill most people don't have.

I'd say he's robbing people to charge them to see his "act", but truthfully the sheep pay up willingly to have their intelligences insulted.

So I take it you won't be asking Tommy to perform at the Boards Troll Union Christmas Party? :rolleyes:

I thought Tommy handled the situation quite well, he didn't want to get involved at all and didn't fall into the easy "slag Jordan off" fest that so many others probably would have.

As for his comedy, I think some of his anecdotes have it and some don't. His vapo-rub is an urban legend, but to be fair I'd say its something thats happened to a few people (I know one couple who both claim it happened to them with Biofreeze)* and his school stories are often verging on the brilliant.


* On an aside to demonstrate how urban legends sometimes aren't so legend, I was in a group in a pub once with a guy from work and his girlfriend and I was telling the ketchup joke. The jist is a guy asks a girl for hand related pleasure and she doesn't know how. He tells her its like shaking a bottle of ketchup and she starts off shaking. Towards the end having said "faster" and "harder" he says use both hands and she smacks the end of it. I thought it was a funny joke. The girlfriend, how only caught the end of it it seems, threw her drink over her boyfriend and stormed out. We were never sure why but we all have heavy suspicions.

adnans

went to the dunphy show last night after losing out a lot of money at the bar on vodkas and accidentally walking into the wrong venue with the mates. since we were looking for our seats in the darkened arena we didnt notice that Charlie Landsborough was in a middle of a gig. finally finding the row C which was straight up to the front of the great man himself, we concluded that we were in the wrong damn part of the Helix!

lack of cameras and dunphy's desk was a straight givaway as well as charlie sitting in the middle of the stage with a blue sparkly jacket singing what i hope was a touching song. (im sorry charlie if you're reading this)

man, tommy tiernan was great! we managed to catch the last few moments of the warm up which he did. his impression of Israel was great!

fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off!!!

jordan is a skank! although i managed to get a sneak peak of her bare coked off arse.

adnans

Quatre Mains

Originally posted by Space_Coyote
He's got a head like a melted bucket and he acts like an extra out of Captain Scarlet in front of the camera

- what a classic expression ha ha! I'll be using that one to describe some 'beauty' when the opporrtunity arises...
Insecure? Yip. Immature? Yip. But will everyone laugh? You betcha

- that performance by Jordan will be remembered for a long long time. It made that Tara Palmer-Tompkinson interview on the Frank Skinner show look positively intellectual.
I'd never seen Jordan before on TV - surely there is no way she's always like that. She must have been coked off her hole.
I hate to say it but theres either rehab or a coffin a-comin' her way in my opinion.

Some other musings;
- Tommy Tiernan was pretty funny, considering its near impossible to be Irish, on telly and funny all at the same time.

- Dunphy is a real disappointment but at least its something else to flick onto unlike of the other garbage that TV3 shows.

- I'd have loved if she'd gone on Pat Kenny, imagine all the aul ones around the country watching that ha ha

Neil

eirebhoy

Did anyone see the journalist from some newspaper on the show? she asked Jordan, backstage, if she could take a few photo's of her. Then Jordan noticed who it was and apparantly jordan has something agaisnt her for something she wrote and she attacked her and had to be held back by security.:D

adnans

amanda something. i think she was pregnant too and had the breasts to challenge jordan's little brain. thats the jist of it. she left the venue soon after according to my friend who works backstage!

adnans

GuanYin

Amanda Brunker, Miss Ireland 1991, she now peddles a living as a diary columnist and panto queen (and aparently aspiring actress).

Legend has it that Jordan went spare a few years ago when Amanda turned up to interview her wearing Jordan-esque clothing, thinking it was a wind up and totally blanking Brunker.

Obviously Jordan remembered.

sceptre

Supposedly little Katie was also a little annoyed at the fact that Amanda's chest is as big as hers (Amanda's grew naturally apparently). Funny the things that can push people over the edge of insanity.

ColinM

Originally posted by DMT
You remind me of that priest in the aeroplane episode of Father Ted who said:

"I think I should get the parachute because I'm great!"

Hey, you were spot on there with the Father Ted reference, DMT!
I was amused to see the reference have its influence on another thread as well!

It's possible that I was a little unfair to Tommy T - it might have been more accurate to say that he may have been funny once but isn't any more. I think he is well aware of this himself. I think he knows that whatever he had he has lost and has been desperately trying to regain it. He went on his walk around Ireland to try to get some kind of inspiration or material. I guess he hoped that in his travels he would encounter zany people or crazy situations. He didn't though, and I think the reason is that you can't force things like that. Creativity comes when it wants, not when you demand it to. Right now he's a nothing more than a hack, and although I'd like him to be getting paid for being an inspiring comedian, I have to accept that a guy's got to earn a living somehow. I'll bet in his heart of hearts though that Tommy T isn't happy with his output at the moment.

As for Katie Price, well it seems obvious to me that the girl is in a lot of personal anguish. I think she displays the symptoms of the classical psychological problems usually caused by lack of affection from one or both of her parents when she was growing up. Now she is constantly making the same old clichéd mistakes, as millions have before her and millions will continue to do, of confusing sex with love and looking for affection and affirmation in all the wrong places. She's one of millions of child-women who are desperately trying to prove to everybody that they are worth something to the world, when all the while the only person they need to prove it to is themselves.

GuanYin

Originally posted by ColinM
As for Katie Price, well it seems obvious to me that the girl is in a lot of personal anguish. I think she displays the symptoms of the classical psychological problems usually caused by lack of affection from one or both of her parents when she was growing up. Now she is constantly making the same old clichéd mistakes, as millions have before her and millions will continue to do, of confusing sex with love and looking for affection and affirmation in all the wrong places. She's one of millions of child-women who are desperately trying to prove to everybody that they are worth something to the world, when all the while the only person they need to prove it to is themselves.

Seriously though Colin, do you write scripts for crap australian soaps or were you just over influenced by Dawsons Creek as a teen?

Samson

Shite.
I missed what sounds like the best Dunphy show so far.


Who said they were going to tape it, can I have a copy?

kamobe

I found that Jordan "interview" thoroughly enjoying. She was stupid, yes, kept interupting etc, but it made for such great TV, watching this tramp make a fewl of herself "live" (as she kept saying).

ColinM

Originally posted by syke
Seriously though Colin, do you write scripts for crap australian soaps or were you just over influenced by Dawsons Creek as a teen?

Yeah SkyeGirl, I suppose that was a bit maudlin alright.
Maybe it would help to balance things up a bit if I said that I would of course enjoy making use of every one of her orifices to degrade her further.

Oh, and sorry if I have been "disingenuous" in any way at all.

GuanYin

Originally posted by ColinM
Yeah SkyeGirl, I suppose that was a bit maudlin alright.
Maybe it would help to balance things up a bit if I said that I would of course enjoy making use of every one of her orifices to degrade her further.

Oh, and sorry if I have been "disingenuous" in any way at all.

Mneh no, but you just demonstrated how ignorant a person you actually are, in spite of all your attempts to come across as the patron saint of trolls. Still, if your life is that dissatisfying, I won't flame you for your few pleasures.

Kalina

Originally posted by mike65
She's appalling but merely the product of her environment I'd say...whats bugged me what that Dunphy or rather his producer thought Jordan was appropriate material for his show..

I can't imagine why they would choose her as a talk-show guest, she can barely string a sentence together.

scojones

i saw that video of her and dane what's his face, what a slapper.

patch

Video? As in home video? :ninja:

That dick Dane is a DJ now seemingly....
He's the 'Superstar DJ' for the opening of a new nite club in the Raddission in Galway this weekend.
One not to miss I'm sure......:rolleyes:

DapperGent

Originally posted by ColinM
I know, because I know what is funny and what isn't. It's a skill most people don't have.

This comment, in combination with this page of utter tripe http://members.boards.ie/colinm/ , did make me smile. Certainly the only time ColinM has managed such a feat.

As an aside did anyone see the bit in Tommy Tiernan's more recent stand up when's talking about the difference between the way Irish and English people react to fire alarms? Comedy gold.

@I was in a pub in London awhile back and the fire alarm went off and something very strange happened. Everybody left. And so on.

I nearly died of the giggles.

eth0_

Originally posted by ColinM

As for Katie Price, well it seems obvious to me that the girl is in a lot of personal anguish. I think she displays the symptoms of the classical psychological problems usually caused by lack of affection from one or both of her parents when she was growing up.

You're a qualified psychologist, are you?

-Wheeler-

Originally posted by DapperGent
As an aside did anyone see the bit in Tommy Tiernan's more recent stand up when's talking about the difference between the way Irish and English people react to fire alarms?

Yeah that was excellent - I laughed my arse off

Capt'n Midnight

http://www.gopetition.com/region/101/1419.html
She claimed that the people of Dungarvan were "Clannish Yokels", and greatly insulted the town.

Re the bust up after the show any pics so we can make our minds up ?

sceptre

Originally posted by Capt'n Midnight
She claimed that the people of Dungarvan were "Clannish Yokels", and greatly insulted the town.

"For more information please read the article in the Dungarvan Observer."

Anyone else find this a little funny?

Whatever happened that woman who swore blind in the confession box that she'd slept with half of Dungarvan and given them all AIDS? Did they stone her or what?

incidentally the people of Mallow (co Cork) are often clannish yokels and the town is a frigging kip.

Mossy Monk

Originally posted by sceptre
"For more information please read the article in the Dungarvan Observer."

Anyone else find this a little funny?

Whatever happened that woman who swore blind in the confession box that she'd slept with half of Dungarvan and given them all AIDS? Did they stone her or what?

i remember the outcry after that. ROFL. people were really offended by it

as for the AIDS woman, i dunno what happened her but all the television cameras etc. etc. that infested the place was really annoying

aidan_dunne

Originally posted by Capt'n Midnight
Re the bust up.....

I don't know if you posted that deliberately or not but I have to tell you, given the conversation to this point and the women involved, I have just sat here for about 10 minutes splitting my sides laughing! Accidental or deliberate, that phrase was just perfect for this thread.

Thanks for the laugh, mate.

sceptre

Originally posted by Mossy Monk
i remember the outcry after that. ROFL. people were really offended by it

What was the full story Mossy?

(don't have access to the Dungarvan Observer and I see it's a paper that has managed not to be swallowed up by the Bean baron empire)

Mossy Monk

Originally posted by sceptre
What was the full story Mossy?

sorry if this is a bit patchy

but anyway, this woman reporter came to Dungarvan one Sunday afternoon (why i don't know) but it also happened to be Munster Final Sunday and all that was left in Dungarvan that day was the people who couldn't get a ticket. Dungarvan IIRC has a population of about 15,000 so a lot of the Dungarvan folk were at the game. from what i can remember she went into one or 2 pubs and heard people cursing and swearing at the television as some do for a Munster final and not many people were friendly towards her because they were watching the game.

but then i was at the game myself and only heard what some people had to say to me about it so take all of the above with a pinch of salt

ColinM

Originally posted by DMT
You remind me of that priest in the aeroplane episode of Father Ted who said:

"I think I should get the parachute because I'm great!"

I was just thinking today about how great I was, and it reminded me that I forgot to say for the record that yeah - I do think I should get all the parachutes.

And I mean all the parachutes. Everyone's.

I'll throw you back the ones I don't need once I'm safely on the ground. That's on condition that you don't give one to anyone who isn't great - like SkyeGirl for instance.

DMT

Originally posted by ColinM
And I mean all the parachutes. Everyone's.

I'm a potato......

TheSonOfBattles

Originally posted by Mossy Monk
sorry if this is a bit patchy

but anyway, this woman reporter came to Dungarvan one Sunday afternoon (why i don't know) but it also happened to be Munster Final Sunday and all that was left in Dungarvan that day was the people who couldn't get a ticket. Dungarvan IIRC has a population of about 15,000 so a lot of the Dungarvan folk were at the game. from what i can remember she went into one or 2 pubs and heard people cursing and swearing at the television as some do for a Munster final and not many people were friendly towards her because they were watching the game.

but then i was at the game myself and only heard what some people had to say to me about it so take all of the above with a pinch of salt

IIRC the reason she came to Dungarvan was because she had fond memories of it from her childhood, and wanted to wander down memory lane. I remember this, because the pub she went into is me father's local, and she chatted to me father and two of his friends. Apparently they were having a laugh and a joke after a few pints, and she was sitting amongst them for a pint, and she took something they said the wrong way.

I remember waking up the next moring and hearing my parents roaring laughing, and claiming they'd sue for defamation of character after what she wrote about my father and his two buddies. There was even a pic of her, and the 3 of them, and IIRC she looks like she's about to s**t herself because she's so uncomfortable there.

Ah, memories. Just thought i'd share. Thanks to Dogs for pointing out the existance of this thread to me. Teh funnies at her will never stop in my house at least.

DaithiSurfer

She might be a crap reporter but she's a ride