Do guys ever really grow up?

LegacyUser

this isn't a thread slagging off guys before anyone jumps down my throat, i'm just wondering about the mentality of certain people i know.

I've recently been spending a lot of time with a guy i first met in college, we're working in the same place now and sharing a house with three others from college.

we get on really well and can sit up half the night talking and messing and having fun. the others all think we'd make a great couple but his behaviour is confusing me.

the past three weeks all he seems to do all day everyday is take the piss outta me, theres pleanty of pisstaking going on in the house in general but all his is aimed at me. along with the firing cushions, soccer balls newspapers at me.

if i was back in secondary school i'd be certain that this guy was interested but can this seriously be his was of showing an interest in me now that he's 23??

bugler

Yeah he could be interested. 23 isn't that old, so it could be just immaturity. Why don't you just decide if you're interested and if you are, then try initiating something that will give you a better idea.

On the other hand, maybe he hates you, and you're bad at reading signals.

seamus

Originally posted by dub_gal
if i was back in secondary school i'd be certain that this guy was interested but can this seriously be his was of showing an interest in me now that he's 23??

Yes.

He's probably waiting for you to make the first move. He's probably exactly like me - He knows how to get up to the point where he should make a move, but for one reason or another, just doesn't.

Ask him straight out when you get some alone time

LegacyUser

he definately doesn't hate me we're really good friends, its not normal behaviour for him and thats the opinions of the rest of the house too.

in the time we've known him he's never had a serious girlf so maybe thats just part of it

logic1

The guys obviously a homosexual.

.logic.

Annasopra

Nah dont think so, hes prob just a bit immature because he really likes you

LegacyUser

think i'll just have to bring home a bottle of wine later and have a chat with him

seamus

Originally posted by dub_gal
think i'll just have to bring home a bottle of wine later and have a chat with him

Perfect Solution.

G'luck!

KdjaCL

But no we dont grow ,im 27 i play video games ,still go out for a kickabout with kids of the road, generally act like a child most of the time.
Tis great fun

kdjac

Cake Fiend

I personally wouldn't think it's a good idea to get involved with someone you work and live with.
What if things go pear-shaped?

Agent7249

I stopped doing that sort of stuff at 15, odd (in relation to original post).
And what I do isnt considered childish most of the time, just the things such as the odd computer game.

Webmonkey

I think this generation of guys will never grow up. i can see us in the future at the age of 40 still playing computer games and taking the piss out of eachother etc etc

Pigman II

Originally posted by Webmonkey
I think this generation of guys will never grow up. i can see us in the future at the age of 40 still playing computer games and taking the piss out of eachother etc etc

I agree and that vision is pretty scary tbh.

I think many of us have become a generation of mass consumers who are quite happy to sit still and wait for the perfect life (ie that which we've been promised by the mass-media since the day we were born) to just drop onto our laps whilst we occupy ourselves in the meantime with one or more of the following : tv / booze / movies / music and video games.

We should probably all read Nick Hornbys 'High Fidelity' and then cop on to our collective selves. I'm trying but like anything worthwhile it's hard work

Victor

I think he might be one step up from the hair pulling. Sure at the last boards beer I was at I was putting ice cubs down Fio's blouse. We were not amused.

Originally posted by KdjaC
But no we dont grow ,im 27 i play video games ,still go out for a kickabout with kids of the road, generally act like a child most of the time. Tis great fun kdjac

And you still get to play with breasts and toy trains!

seamus

Originally posted by Pigman II
I agree and that vision is pretty scary tbh.

Indeed, just like I was slagging Dusty about his age on IRC today, and realised that in 10 year's time, some little arrogant student would probably be doing the same to me on IRC (or whatever it's called by then).

Even the fact that I'd be surfing boards and IRC in 10 years time is a pretty scary thought. Interesting too. I could even be the owner of boards.ie by then (and I wouldn't change a thing)

Webmonkey

I bet we will see people at the age of 80 years old in the personal issues forums worrying bout old age and dying and having posts of numbers maybe like 43,000 posts with an average of 2 posts a day

Pretty scary alright :rolleyes:


edit...
Also even more scarier we will have a huge community and people will be dying of old age and we will see very sad moments :-(

Agent7249

Originally posted by Webmonkey
I think this generation of guys will never grow up. i can see us in the future at the age of 40 still playing computer games and taking the piss out of eachother etc etc

heh what generation are you referring to, im only 17. Somehow i cant see myself still playin games at 40 cause in the past year ive given up the majority of my games and just focused on my gf, I still have a good few friends, just not keen on being around people anymore...:(

Webmonkey

Originally posted by Agent7249
heh what generation are you referring to, im only 17. Somehow i cant see myself still playin games at 40 cause in the past year ive given up the majority of my games and just focused on my gf, I still have a good few friends, just not keen on being around people anymore...:(

Hey now i'm 17 also and this is jsut the first generation using internet and multimedia (its a great life) but things are going to get even better in the next generation - everything will be so more convienent......anywayz I still all my friends and I still have our Lan Parties, play games, make our own jackass movies etc etc and we love it and its fun. You can still have time for a girlfriend....you can't give up this wonderful life. YOu also need time to enjoy yourself by playing games , surfing internet etc etc

Well thats my opinion

Nevyn

you not the first gen there webmonkey,
the first gen is hitting late 20's early 30s tbh.

and most men dont grow up they just get bigger.

skittishkitten

Guys are no fun when they grow up ..... they get all proper and stuffy and never like to do anything ! Enjoy him while he's still acting like a nut !!

simu

I think it's good for everybody (women && men) to be able to mess around like a kid at times - it's a great way to relax, come up with creative ideas, have a laugh. Of course, there are odd times when u have to take life seriously as well.

As for video games, the reason older ppl don't play them is that they simply weren't there when they were young. Ppl who've grown up with them won't stop playing them just coz they've reached 30 or whatever age.

Myself, I think computer games are a whole new artistic medium and I'm trying to improve my programming skills to write my own, just the way other ppl want to write books or make paintings!

Webmonkey

Originally posted by simu
I think it's good for everybody (women && men) to be able to mess around like a kid at times - it's a great way to relax, come up with creative ideas, have a laugh. Of course, there are odd times when u have to take life seriously as well.

As for video games, the reason older ppl don't play them is that they simply weren't there when they were young. Ppl who've grown up with them won't stop playing them just coz they've reached 30 or whatever age.

Myself, I think computer games are a whole new artistic medium and I'm trying to improve my programming skills to write my own, just the way other ppl want to write books or make paintings!

Good point

bizmark

Iv been playing Computer games etc since the atria 2600 and C64 and im not planing the change anytime soon

wtf should i ?

my dad plays vid games and hes 60 he loves mohaa and pikmen i think its great he bothered his ass trying a new thing most older people think is bad for us all

Sarky

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is not.:)

A bit of maturity is a good thing for people. But you're right, too much makes you boring. I was always really mature for my age, and it was often a drawback in school (meeting friends, doing stuff, and so on...)and suchlike.

I still have an inner child. I plan to keep it.

Lump

Right I think this is what has happened. He started off fancing you, then you started chatting, working together all that other stuff. Then the situation of staying up half the night talking came...... next thing the poor bloke realised that the horrible situation of THE FRIEND ZONE had snuck up on him. Now he is in the zone he can never get out of it..... unless you come on to him. So this is all really him flirting in a friend kind of a way, tbh he still fancies you, but due to the zone it would be seen as sick to try pull, what through no fault of his own, has become a friend (in the friend zone type way). Trust me, it has happened to the best of us..... he's not young or being stupid its the way the world works. I feel for him to be honest.


Lump

LegacyUser

cheers for all the advice and insights. gonna sit him down some day this week and have a chat about it, when everyone else from the house gets out for a while.

i dont want him to grow up or change, i like him just the way he is, my problem was reading the signals he's giving off.

i hear what ye saying about the friend thing, been there loadsa time and also crossed that line a fair few times and everything worked out grand. thats the good bit about one of the few girls in a class of lads. i miss college....

the work and living together thing shouldn't be a problem, we're in completely different sections in work, we alwasys meet up for coffee in the afternoons but apart from that never see him cos the groups are completely unrelated.

the house is a group of friends and one of us could always move out.

cheers

GuanYin

Dunno if you still want contributions to this, but I think that it seems like a pretty obvious type of flirtation to me.

Some guys as seamus said, can do gran din the flirty game playing stage, but just can't get it together to make that final move..so the game playing coninues....

The real question, and I dunno if anyone else has asked this...

"Do you fancy him?"

The posts seem to indicate yes..so why don't you act on his flirting and make a move? If you like him, why wait for him?

Originally posted by dub_gal
the work and living together thing shouldn't be a problem, we're in completely different sections in work, we alwasys meet up for coffee in the afternoons but apart from that never see him cos the groups are completely unrelated.

the house is a group of friends and one of us could always move out.

I will say that living with a partner from the start can be very very smothering, even with spearate rooms. Be very careful of this.

tman

hmmm, well i tend to turn into an immature muppet around ladies i know after i've had a couple of drinks.
not a clue why, i just can't control myself:rolleyes:

rymus

do guys every really grow up?

As a guy I'd have to say "I hope not". It's a problem for some that I never seem to take stuff seriously, like a past relationship for example, but that's just who I (and millions of others) am.

I sincerely hope I remain like this for the rest of my days, nothings worse than being overly serious about absolutely everything.

So no, I'm sure most guys will never completely "grow up". You women are just too damn mature!

AL][EN

I'd agree with whats been said already guys our age are stuck in a peter pan type mentality we never want to grow up were big kids forever and truthfully i dont see anything worng with it.

im 24 and i still go crazy every weekend when im out with my friends i dont plan on growing up anytime soon (house broken maybe but not grown up)

a classic example is that at the weekend it was my friends cousins Bday (he was 3) so they got a bouncy castle for him all day from 11am to 8pm that night by the time 4pm rolled around all the kids were knackered from being in the castle all day so i'll give you a guess where i spent the rest of the day.....

i can tell you i havent been in a bouncy castle since i was about 5 it takes years off your life!! i mean im bad enough when im out with the lads but im sure you can get a mental picture of 6 people all aged between 18 and 24 in a bouncy castle playing football and acting like they were 3, I'd recomend it to anyone

The Sweeper

dub_gal, the next time he throws a cushion at you, just say outright to him "you know if you were ten years younger the very act of you throwing things at me and taking the piss out of me would be seen as proof that you fancy me." And just leave it at that. That way it looks as though you're just slagging as well and either he'll stop sheepishly or it'll get worse (in which case you know he does fancy you.)

I'm just saying because if you sit him down and talk to him, there's a chance he might get defensive and a bit spikey with you, creating an athmosphere which could be difficult because you spend so much time together. If you just do the above you've made a point but he can't get humpy about it because it was done in the spirit of a slagging...

The_Bullman

Originally posted by Minesajackdaniels
dub_gal, the next time he throws a cushion at you, just say outright to him "you know if you were ten years younger the very act of you throwing things at me and taking the piss out of me would be seen as proof that you fancy me." And just leave it at that. That way it looks as though you're just slagging as well and either he'll stop sheepishly or it'll get worse (in which case you know he does fancy you.)

Either that or he'll think but I do fancy you but will still be too afraid to say anything.

I would recomend some drink and just "let" something happen. At the end of the day, it it falls flat on its face, you can just blame the drink.

AL][EN

Originally posted by Minesajackdaniels
dub_gal, the next time he throws a cushion at you, just say outright to him "you know if you were ten years younger the very act of you throwing things at me and taking the piss out of me would be seen as proof that you fancy me." And just leave it at that. That way it looks as though you're just slagging as well and either he'll stop sheepishly or it'll get worse (in which case you know he does fancy you.)

I'm just saying because if you sit him down and talk to him, there's a chance he might get defensive and a bit spikey with you, creating an athmosphere which could be difficult because you spend so much time together. If you just do the above you've made a point but he can't get humpy about it because it was done in the spirit of a slagging...

actually thats a really good idea. I mean your really close friends so it wont hurt to say it! plus if he really does like you it will give him something to think about for a while

weemcd

im 15 and feel ive grown up a little, but i cant see myself ever being like my da. i could see myself playing games and talkinglike i am now for 25 years. yeah i think he does like you, its the kinda stuff id do if i wernt sure if you felt the same, without the kicking footballs and stuff.

Crash

Heh, give that bout two years and sometime between 16 and 17 you'll suddenly realise you're becomeing your father. scariest. moment. ever.

i'm but a young lad, i dont need that!

Sarky

Which is worse, realising you use the same phrases as your dad, or realising you wear similar clothes?

Clinical Waste

Originally posted by Pigman II
I agree and that vision is pretty scary tbh.

............whilst we occupy ourselves in the meantime with one or more of the following : tv / booze / movies / music and video games...................

I see no problem. Playing computer games (or anything else PC related) is not a sign of immaturity or not growing up. It's just what this generation does.

In the past they occupied themselves with radio / booze / movies(cinema) / and monopoly-scrabble.

Nothing ever really changes.

Instead of shuffling around in old brown pants with a newspaper in my back pocket at 70, I'll probably be wearing jeans and playing with my pocket-pc, giving out about people working 5 hour weeks and spending all their time in holo/virtual type devices.

Still the same.



And no I havent grown up yet.

Typedef

Originally posted by crash_000
Heh, give that bout two years and sometime between 16 and 17 you'll suddenly realise you're becomeing your father. scariest. moment. ever.

i'm but a young lad, i dont need that!

Read much Freud do you?

He consumed enough Cocaine to kill a small horse you realise.... so, Freudian theory -1, unless under the influence of stimulants.

Ivan

Originally posted by dub_gal
this isn't a thread slagging off guys before anyone jumps down my throat, i'm just wondering about the mentality of certain people i know.

I've recently been spending a lot of time with a guy i first met in college, we're working in the same place now and sharing a house with three others from college.

I've read the first six lines, I havent read any more and I dont need to.

He likes you.

ferdi

no.

po0k

we just generally get/spend more money, get harier and start to sag slightly.
Much like wimmen.....

The Corinthian

Originally posted by dub_gal
if i was back in secondary school i'd be certain that this guy was interested but can this seriously be his was of showing an interest in me now that he's 23??

No. Traditionally men never do grow up. We let women do that for us.

As for your boy, yes, he fancies you. Slagging you is a form of defence. Boys are brought up in many, including the Irish, cultures to actively dislike women. As a seven year-old, when I came over to Ireland, I couldn’t get over the fact that other boys would tease me for kissing girls, because they were apparently “yuck”. Now they can’t talk to one without being plastered first and making fun of them (so as to prove subconsciously to themselves that they’re not sissies).

Some guys take decades to deprogram their childhood misogamy, some never do.

Originally posted by Sarky
Which is worse, realising you use the same phrases as your dad, or realising you wear similar clothes?

Realising you have the same taste in women...

Victor

Originally posted by The Corinthian
Realising you have the same taste in women...

Sure don't we all want to kill our fathers and sleep with our mothers?

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Victor
Sure don't we all want to kill our fathers and sleep with our mothers?

No. I have no idea who would want to sleep with your mother, TBH.

Gordon

Well you had that coming to ye Victor!

Victor

Originally posted by The Corinthian
No. I have no idea who would want to sleep with your mother, TBH.

Well since she died last year, I don't think thats a very nice point to make.

Merely quoting Herr Freud (?).

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Victor
Well since she died last year, I don't think thats a very nice point to make.

Merely quoting Herr Freud (?).

surely thats an Oedipus complex?

vistor, im shocked and stunned, and you are very own fountain of knowledge slipping up on something as easy as that.

and a starter for 10 points to. shame on you.




shame.

Gordon

Ok enough bashing. Victor - I'm sorry man.

LegacyUser

whats an Oedipus complex?

lordsippa

The Oedipus complex is a Freudian theory named after the Greek mythological figure who killed his father and married his mother. Supposedly, all males bond with their mothers on a strong level through breast feeding and other early childhood moments where the mother is the predominant figure. When the child becomes aware of the fathers rivalry for the mothers attention there is subconcious hostility...

Or so Freud said.

Oh and interesting fact, although he was a coke head, he was also one of the first people to publically criticise cocaine usage.

Typedef

Asking a bunch of 15-35 year old internet dwelling bachelors... if we ever grow up.

hmm.... are you being sarcastic ?