Self harm

LegacyUser

this seems to be coming up in a few different threads, and in daily life i've noticed quite a lot of friends/casual aquaintances have had experience with this and seemingly everyone knows somebody...

sorry if the gender part of the poll seems unnecessary, but i've read theres a much higher proportion of female cutters over male, yet amongst people i know its nearly as common (or maybe less hidden) amongst men

so...simply: have you cut/burned yourself or in any serious way inflicted harm upon yourself to relieve stress (or any other possible reason)

and if you have done it, have you since stopped or do you still do it? (and if you've stopped: do you still think of it and need to stop yourself?)

Personally: was doing it for just over a year, i realised i'd lost control over it (and my life in general)
(and it was a constant influence on my friendships & relationships) i haven't hurt myself in over a month and never intend to do i again..

thats about it i guess, i'm just wondering how the poll will look

Practical

I don't understand why anyone would want to 'injure' themself, I've been through some bad times in my life but the thought has never entered my head

jammy_dodger

Im not so curious about the stats, but more about the causes, I always thought this was exstreamly rare, yet there've been a good few cases mentioned here on this board.

I know its a hell of alot to ask, but would any sufferers, mind shareing, what drove them to it, or anything that you feel is relevant. This subject came up with me and my mates recently, and their opinion (not mine) was that it was just really phyco people, Who've a screw loose. Ive talked to one user of boards who suffer(s)(ed) from this, and they were of perfectly sound mind. So........ Would anyone care to step up and educate us on this subject ?

Tazzle

i dont cut or burn myself or anything, but i do pull hairs out, i dont know why like, but ive a strange impulse to pluck hairs. I like the pain, it's weird.

Dissident Aeon

Originally posted by Practical
I don't understand why anyone would want to 'injure' themself, I've been through some bad times in my life but the thought has never entered my head

Well, sometimes, you just can't feel yourself anymore, you can't feel life because it's not real to your eyes..So, harming oneself can be a a way to get back to reality, when the blood starts to run down your body, you're able tp feel yourself, your soul, your mind again.
I know it's not the best way to get out of the dark hole you're stuck in, but it helped me when I was younger. I fortunately realized that there were things on earth that can bring back joy without harming yourself. But it took a long way to get there..

I hope that those of you who can't see another exit to their problems will find their way thru this bizarre life and society, without pain..

BuffyBot

Originally posted by Dissident Aeon
Well, sometimes, you just can't feel yourself anymore, you can't feel life because it's not real to your eyes..So, harming oneself can be a a way to get back to reality, when the blood starts to run down your body, you're able tp feel yourself, your soul, your mind again.

:mad:

*must resist commenting on above*

It seems to me that it's now bordering on trendy to do it - angst is so much more painful today than it was 10 years ago you know!

hedgetrimmer

AFAIK, It's usually an extreme reaction to the form of depression caused by external factors - abusive home life, bullying, any environment that causes one to have sever self-doubt and a low self image. The harming help externalise the emotions, which means that the harmer doesn't have to deal "internally" with them (I know this is a very general and sketchy way of phrasing it, but I am not a qulaified psychoanalyist/ psychologist, etc, though I have had a little bit of experience with harmers).

I thoguht the film, "The Secretary" gave a very good account of harming, for what its worth.

b3t4

Can I truly explain why I cut. The answer would be no. For anyone that hasn't SI'ed (self-injure) it would seem impossible to understand.

I started cutting when I was 14 or so. Long before it was commonly known what it was and long before it became "trendy" as Buffybot may suggest. I continued to cut up until Febuary this year (another relapse), I haven't since. That would be a total of five or so years.

I cut when I just can't cry anymore. When it feels like there is a knot in me that I just can't untie. Somehow cutting relieves that feeling. The pain is more tangible.

However over the last 2yrs or so I have made the best friends who I can talk to and cry to and who just understand when Im low and how to help me to help me. It has become so much easier to stop myself from cutting.

There are so many other ways to cope it's just a matter of finding them. I hope that anyone who is concidering it an option to please talk to someone. There are other ways and I can vouch for that. Also the scars are nasty and do fade but they are always there. I have a scar on my arm that people still notice a couple of years later. I dread the day that I may someday have to explain that scar to my kids.

Dont be like me, find another way.

Dissident Aeon

Originally posted by BuffyBot
:mad:

*must resist commenting on above*

It seems to me that it's now bordering on trendy to do it - angst is so much more painful today than it was 10 years ago you know!

Well, it's due to people like you that some of us suffer. It's due this enormous lack of tolerance that we are or were suffering...
I'm commenting because I have the guts to do so, not like you...

WhiteWashMan

the usual reason for self damage is for attention.

pretty simple reason.

why one would do it though, i have no understanding. why you cant get it another way is beyond me, but im not a psychologist.

although to some extent i agree with buffybot in that people hear about it and it gives them an idea of something to do to try and gain the desired attention.
thats not to say i dont think its not serious. not at all. i do. ithink its very serious, i just cant understand why someone would have so little regard for themselves that they would do it.

and yes, teenage girls are they ones who do it most.

b3t4

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
the usual reason for self damage is for attention.

pretty simple reason.

attention my a$$, people never knew that I cut and most of the people I have ever spoken to about this their reason was not due to a lack of or want of attention.

Yes some people do seek attention from it but associating that word with it seems to dismiss what people are actually doing.

A.

Dissident Aeon

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
the usual reason for self damage is for attention.

pretty simple reason.

why one would do it though, i have no understanding.

although to some extent i agree with buffybot in that people hear about it and it gives them an idea of something to do to try and gain the desired attention.
thats not to say i dont think its not serious. not at all. i do. ithink its very serious, i just cant understand why someone would have so little regard for themselves that they would do it.

and yes, teenage girls are they ones who do it most.

It has nothing to do with selfesteem nor to attract attention since most people hide their scars....If you don't know what you're talking about, well then, don't talk!!!
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

b3t4

Dissident Aeon,

I know what WWM said upset you and me but after some thought, I think that is the whole point of this thread. People that dont SI, don't understand and they want to be able to understand.

This thread gives everyone the right to give their thoughts on SI and it is up to the people that have gone through it to inform people who haven't.

I'd prefer people to have knowledge than inaccuraces.

A.

Dissident Aeon

B3t4

I know, but it hurts to see that people are still as intolerant as a 100 years ago. I also know that this site is open to anyone. I just wish there was more comprehensiveness on such a theme, because one of my friends died 4 years ago, cutting himself too deep. It hurts. He wanted help and everybody told him he was stupid to do such things..
Sorry if I sounded too angry

b3t4

There is no need to be sorry for your feelings. Having open discussions like this can help improve things in my opinion that's all I was trying to get across.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. Know that you can help other people that may be still cutting by discussing your feelings. The one thing that every person doesn't want to do is hurt the people that are clossed to them. Hearing you may help them to look for help or to maybe even stop.

A.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Dissident Aeon
Well, sometimes, you just can't feel yourself anymore, you can't feel life because it's not real to your eyes..So, harming oneself can be a a way to get back to reality, when the blood starts to run down your body, you're able tp feel yourself, your soul, your mind again.
I know it's not the best way to get out of the dark hole you're stuck in, but it helped me when I was younger. I fortunately realized that there were things on earth that can bring back joy without harming yourself. But it took a long way to get there..

I hope that those of you who can't see another exit to their problems will find their way thru this bizarre life and society, without pain..

ok, now excuse me if i sound a little off here. im not trying to be offensive. however, i have been in a long term relationship with someone who has cut themselves, and she will admit that she used to do it for attention. she has also said that she has talked to a lot of other people who have done it, and they will also tell you that that is basically why it was done.

i can understand why you get on the defensive, maybe you dont understand why you do it. if you did, im sure you would probably not do it. who knows?

to be honest, i havent heard a single reason why people do it, apart from this bit quoted above. and lets face it, its a tad melodramatic.

i mean seriously, the blood running down your body makes you feel your soul and your mind?
give me something tangible to work on here and make me understand, but dont start sounding like a smashing pumpkins song.

i think you will find that a very high percentage of people have indulged in self mutilation at one point or another. be it cutting themselves, or punching walls, or picking fights they cant win after a few pints. there are many different ways it can manifest, but cutting yourself just seems the most morbid.

maybe you can see where im coming from, but like i said, please try and make me understand. if you are going to post a thread on a thread talking about the subject, and then give someone a hard time for their thoughts, then i feel you have a responsibilty to put your view point accross, otherwise you are just going to sound young, melodramatic, and attention seeking....

again, no offence meant by anything ive said, just stop being defensive and open up.

by the way beat, you said you cut yourself when you cant cry anymore. what are you crying about all these years?

b3t4

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan

by the way beat, you said you cut yourself when you cant cry anymore. what are you crying about all these years?

I don't feel I should have to answer that question as it goes beyond the bounds of what Im willing to discuss with complete strangers. I've already opened myself enough. Sure I talk about self-harm but to have it no longer in the closet.

People need to talk and knowing that other people are dealing with the same problem you are helps.

Rgds,
A.

Sangre

Originally posted by Dissident Aeon
B3t4

I know, but it hurts to see that people are still as intolerant as a 100 years ago. I also know that this site is open to anyone.

Uhhhh...Yeah because we should all love and embrace our body cutting ways....if people can accept homosexuality why can't they accept self mutilation?
:rolleyes:

Well, imo, cutting yourself for the majority is like attempted suicide, sub-consciously you want to be found out, even if you don't afterwards.

Well, sometimes, you just can't feel yourself anymore, you can't feel life because it's not real to your eyes..So, harming oneself can be a a way to get back to reality, when the blood starts to run down your body, you're able tp feel yourself, your soul, your mind again.

I would have thought cutting yourself would be the complete opposite, if that was the reasons. Wouldn't someone who is suffering want to step back, and disassociated themselves from a cruel reality?

Oh yeah, and I pretty much agree with WWm.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by b3t4
I don't feel I should have to answer that question as it goes beyond the bounds of what Im willing to discuss with complete strangers. I've already opened myself enough. Sure I talk about self-harm but to have it no longer in the closet.

People need to talk and knowing that other people are dealing with the same problem you are helps.

Rgds,
A.

ok, i probbaly asked the wrong question there.
i dont really want to know what the cause of the crying is. its not my business.

i am interested in why you cut yourself when you feel you cant cry anymore.
why do you do that?

Dissident Aeon

WWW

Your girlfriend does not represent the entire world. And did you never realize that she might have said that other people do it also to attract attention in order to keep her integrity? If she did it only out of an attention lack, well she made a mistake.

I guess wou can't understand what we are talking about, because you feel otherwise than we do. Can I explain why I like the colour blue? Can you explain what love is? I know I sound melodramatic, but life is the best soap opera that exists.
I'll try to explain the unexplainable:

Most people affected by this, suffer from a huge depression. For my part, I was so deeply depressive that I really couldn't feel anything anymore. I was depressive because of a hundred reasons, mostly because I had loads of trouble as a teenie. There was no one around me to help me at that moment. I know now, as an adult, that I can get help. But as a teenie, I was naive, I had no idea of life, and figured out that I must be insane. What would you have thought, with 15 years, if you stopped feeling one day. Really stopped. No hate, no love, nothing.
So, one day, I hurt myself while cutting bread, and I felt something, after 2 months of inner coldness. And I thought that was my way out, back to normality. But it wasn't.

I just wanted you to understand that those people who hurt themselves, except the morons who want to attract attention or to be trendy, like your girlfriend, would love to have a normal life, normal fears and a normal behaviour. I was ashamed of my scars, I hid them under sweaters, the same way really anorexic girls hide their body. It's an illness that has to be cured, it's a coldness that has to be evacuated. And therefore, everybody should try to listen more to what others have to say and try to help even if the act is not understandable at all.

You'll probably say I am melodramatic. No. I have a disease I have to fight, because I want to live. Live for real.

Sangre

Originally posted by Dissident Aeon

You'll probably say I am melodramatic. No. I have a disease I have to fight, because I want to live. Live for real.

NO, you are being melodramatic in your writing.
But I accept your reason, and I can see that you do not do it for attention...unless of coarse you're lying and this is all a big scheme to get attention?...but Im very cynical.

But I still believe the majority do it for attention.

WhiteWashMan

sorry, just to clear one thing up, i was not talking about my current girlfriend......

im not really going to go into everything you have written, because there is only one thing in your post that interests me (from this discussion point of view, not meaning that i dont give a flying f*ck about what you are saying or whatyou have suffered)

There was no one around me to help me at that moment.

from your own mouth. i think you should really think about this.
im not trying to push anything down your neck here, and its clear that you arent going to agree with me, and thats fine, but i can still spot things in your posts that i think are indications to what i am saying.

you felt alone, youre melodramatic, your were a teenager. again, im not trying to put down what you are saying. im not trying to make you less of a person, or imply that you are doing things because you want you are a lunitic or that you are worth less than your average bear.

im just pointing out that what i have seen and what i have heard ahs always been the same in the end, no matter what way it seems, and that you just happen to be showing signs that would indicate that at teh end of the day, you are no different.


you can call it a disease, but i would say that you have a psychological condition that is very common. and most of them are ashamed of your scars. even my 'moronic' (tut tut) ex girlfriend....

b3t4

WWM,

I cut when I can't cry anymore because I just want to be able to get the pain out of my head. When a person cries it relieves the pain that is inside. You can get it out of your system, so to speak. When I can't cry I have all this pain balled up inside of me and the only way I knew how to cope with this was to cut. Cutting you can feel, it feels like you have control when really it does, cutting means you can get on with the rest of the day without the constant nagging torment in your head.

Its seem ludicrous, it just doesnt make since to me or you when you truly think about it. But it was the only way I found to cope. Things have changed now and I cope in different ways. I look at my scars and really regret what I did to myself but it doesn't stop the urge I get when things get on top of me again. I don't know if I'll ever be able to truly explain to you what actually gets a person to the point where you self-harm.

Also as Aeon suggests it is a case of just wanting to be able to feel. On reading a number of sites relating to this it would be seen that this is how quite a few people that SI feel.

A.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by b3t4


Also as Aeon suggests it is a case of just wanting to be able to feel. On reading a number of sites relating to this it would be seen that this is how quite a few people that SI feel.

A.

again, im not having a go, im trying to learn why this happens.
it is common.
i t is too common.
i have cleaned up peoples razor cuts on their wrists (which is hard when you generally faint at the sight of blood like i do) and i have seen people do it crosswise when they know they should be doing it verticly for it to 'work'.


i would also suggest that anyone who currently does it now should take up spin cycling. that will make you feel a few thing for days afterwards that will make you want to cry with pain

and it will get you fit too...

b3t4

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
i have seen people do it crosswise when they know they should be doing it verticly for it to 'work'.


i would also suggest that anyone who currently does it now should take up spin cycling. that will make you feel a few thing for days afterwards that will make you want to cry with pain

and it will get you fit too...

SI is not always about the want to commit suicide. It is more a means of relieving the pain that you have inside but you don't want to end it all. you just want to get through that day. I know this anology may seem bizarre but it's almost like taking a pain killer. Once you've taken the pain killer you are relieved for a while till the pain comes back, sometimes your lucky enough if the pain doesnt come back or not for a couple of days. By cutting the pain is external whereas before it was internal. It is sometimes easier to people to deal with pain they can see in the form of mark or injurey than it is for them to comprehend whats going on in their head.

By no means am I saying that SI is the best way to cope. So once again Please talk to someone if you SI And if you do SI and this thread is bringing up emotions that you are finding it hard to deal with. Please talk here about them or with a counsellor or someone you trust.

Also concider WWM idea on spin cycling (if I knew what it was, not the right thread to discuss it in though). Who knows it might help

A.

BuffyBot

Originally posted by Dissident Aeon
Well, it's due to people like you that some of us suffer.

Oh is it? I must just go around and make the lives of teenagers miserable without knowing it - in between all the other things in my busy life. Sorry to sound flippant, but don't post generalising bs when you know not one bit about who you are talking about.

It's due this enormous lack of tolerance that we are or were suffering...

Lack of tolerence eh? So it is because I believe that self harm has become morbidly trendy that loads of people are out there cutting themselves. Unlikely. People have suffered misery long before self harm ever came out into the open. Now, however as it becomes more publicised, people see it as something to do to express their pain because other people are doing it. Very few people would just think this up on their own.

I'm commenting because I have the guts to do so, not like you...

I didn't comment, solely because your melodrama did your point no favours. Remember there is always someone worse off than you, no matter how bad you think things are.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by b3t4
SI is not always about the want to commit suicide.

this is my point.
people dont want to commit suicide. if they did, theyd cut the right way.
they want some attention. some help. someone to talk to. someone to listen. someone. could it be about being lonely? could getting people to notice that there is something wrong by inflicting cuts on yourself be way of communication.

i say it is.
it may 'relieve' the pain, but why would you want to do that?
why not remove the cause instead of the symptom?

just because i say the dreaded 'attention' word, poeple automatically get defensive, like its a bad thing.

christ!
youre bleeding because you cut yourself! get some freakin help!
but they dont. they dont because they feel lonely and unwanted and depressed. and its usually girls.

as for spin cycle, its just using an excersize bike in a manner for which it was meant, except you have a sadistic trainer who keeps pushing you while your forehead throbs and you feel like your veins are about to explode through your skin.
and it hurts like hell

Dissident Aeon

WWW

You're boring. Boring to the core. You make statements like a big boy, but you are wrong each time. You misunderstand everything.
Do you ever feel something?
Do you ever think?
At least a little?

You classify everybody into stereotypes. I guess you're a poor person. Go on spinning, it might lighten up your mind one fine day. And you'll feel tired. That's great for a change, you'll feel at least something...

Are you a doctor? Or what gives u the permission to say that SI isn't a disease...

Dissident Aeon

Buffy Bot (oo, what a pretty name)

My life is a melodrama, huh? WELL I WISH IT WASN'T...I WISH EVERYTHING WAS OK. I DIDN'T CHOSE. I AM SORRY FOR YOU. IT'S EXACTLY PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT ARE MELODRAMATIC...What a pity.

smiles

Originally posted by Dissident Aeon
He wanted help and everybody told him he was stupid to do such things..
Sorry if I sounded too angry

Then he was looking for attention. I know WWM laid it down very harshy perhaps, but you cannot say that he is wrong, especially since you said that same thing yourself.

I just wanted you to understand that those people who hurt themselves, except the morons who want to attract attention or to be trendy, like your girlfriend, would love to have a normal life, normal fears and a normal behaviour.

You are totally out of line here, WWM never said his girlfriend did it to be trendy, she did it as a call for help (at least thats the impression I get from it, sorry if I'm wrong WWM), how can you stand up and talk about lack of tolerance when you yourself and catagorising people you've never met just because you took a dislike to their (ex) boyfriend?

It is not moronic to call for help, yes it is an extreme way of doing so and isn't healthy in any way, but using with word 'moronic' reflects more on your and your state than on the person you are commenting on. You've experienced this, how can you turn around and ridicule someone else?

It's due this enormous lack of tolerance that we are or were suffering...

You are suffering because you cut yourself, yes there is ignorance surrounding SI / SH but obviously the majority of it is self-inflicted.

Buffy Boy seemed not to be commenting because YOU appear to be making self-harm seem relatively 'good':

Well, sometimes, you just can't feel yourself anymore, you can't feel life because it's not real to your eyes..So, harming oneself can be a a way to get back to reality, when the blood starts to run down your body, you're able tp feel yourself, your soul, your mind again.

You're putting self-harm forward as a 'proper' way of getting back to reality, whereas it is in fact one of the most damaging things anyone can do to themselves. both mentally and physcially, and puts that person even furthur out of touch with reality.

<< Fio >>

Gordon

Dissident Aeon, please calm down. WWM was expressing his opinion without direct personal insults which is not what you seem to be doing.

It is understandable for someone to not think that it is a disease. It is also extremely understandable that one should see self harm as a cry for help/attention seek. I dabbled in the cutting a little when younger and it was because I wanted attention.

Now, this is a discussion, I fear we may have to move it to Humanities as it may be more appropriate there. But for starters lets keep this as an open discussion without personal attacks.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Dissident Aeon
WWW

You're boring. Boring to the core. You make statements like a big boy, but you are wrong each time. You misunderstand everything.
Do you ever feel something?
Do you ever think?
At least a little?

You classify everybody into stereotypes. I guess you're a poor person. Go on spinning, it might lighten up your mind one fine day. And you'll feel tired. That's great for a change, you'll feel at least something...

Are you a doctor? Or what gives u the permission to say that SI isn't a disease...

get acting classes, or do something to destress.
go listen to some smashing pumpkins.

i have asked you to try to explain. i see what you have written and i have made some points. if you dont like them, thats fine, but i think you are over reacting, being melodramatic, and lets face it, it shows through.

you come across as one of those people like my ex who cut themselves for attention.

well hey.

i see you!

i dont have aproblem with feelings. i can feel things. i dont believe that there is no feelings and only pain.
thats your belief, and i feel sorry for you. what a terrible way to be.
but while its not my problem, its also not my fault, and if i try to understand something, and you think im wrong, abusing me is not going to make you feel better.
i find it amusing, which is not going to make you feel better either.

and im not sure what thinking has to do with it either, but i would suggest that you take a good look at your last post and decide if thats an off-the-cuff remark based on the fact that ive píssed you off. if so, then it looks like you do have some feeling after all.

if not, then it just looks like petty teenage angst repsonse. and its not worth considering. and it make every poist you put up, make me look more and more correct in my assumptions.

(as I said - guys watch the flames - Gordon)

Dissident Aeon

I'm leaving
I'm disgusted
Thanks
You helped a lot

PatLam

Great
You succeeded in making an ill person feel even more ill.. You can be proud.

b3t4

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
this is my point.
people dont want to commit suicide. if they did, theyd cut the right way.
they want some attention. some help. someone to talk to. someone to listen. someone. could it be about being lonely? could getting people to notice that there is something wrong by inflicting cuts on yourself be way of communication.

When I cut I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want people to know what I was doing. I didn't want someone to listen because I didn't know what to say. Maybe it is a form of communication but to the person themselves that are doing it not for anyone else. This is how I felt. I wanted to close myself off from the world.

it may 'relieve' the pain, but why would you want to do that?
why not remove the cause instead of the symptom?

'relieve' the pain so just be able to cope with a day or a few hours. Imagine having your head exploding with thoughts and images and feelings. When you can't cry about it or scream about it or do anything else that seems remotely "normal" anymore, people cut.

LegacyUser

As much as I disagree with WhiteWashMan, he's just trying to make a point based on his own experiences. That's all he can do. It may seem like he's trying to be offensive but he's really just trying to get his point across. I don't think he means offense.

Myself, a former self harmer, I know from experience that the majority of people out there don't do it for attention. They don't show anyone their cuts/scars and hide it from everyone around them. I was like that aswell. Hell, they still don't know I used to do it. I didn't want them to find out. I did it for myself, because for me at the time it was the only way of dealing with the demons in my head. It was much easier to deal with physical pain than emotional, it was a way of channeling it I suppose and focusing it to one point. Then dealing with it.

I'm not happy I used to do it and I'm still ashamed of my scars. I just hope that someday people won't be so quick to judge someone because they did or do this. It's not trendy, it's not a hobby, it's not cool, but people do it.

Some people do it for attention, and they're the only ones you really hear about because everyone else hides it. This makes it seem like most of us do it for attention.

BuffyBot, if you don't want people to generalise you, don't do it yourself!

Sangre

For someone who doesn't feel Aoen, you seem to be getting really píssed off.

Also, I think nearly all attention seeking is sub-conscious, and most people would only realise this fact after they 'recovered'

PatLam

oh god..
Aeon wrote that he's healed now...So why shouldn't he be pissed off at your stupid remarks. Leave him alone!

smiles

Originally posted by Dissident Aeon
I'm leaving
I'm disgusted
Thanks
You helped a lot

You're the one who is reacting badly, and to be quite honest it's a very childish approach you have taken, yes the subject we are discussing is very personal to you, but this thread was about SI in GENERAL, and you are the one who's letting it get to you, what he had said is talking about his and his girlfriend's personal experiences, if you don't want to hear these things then you shouldn't be using a bulletin board to discuss it.

<< Fio >>

delop

WhiteWashMan, Could you explain to me what the purpose of a 'Moderator' is on boards.ie?

[edit: please see the FAQ - under the admin menu - otherwise this thread will go off-topic. << Fio >>]

BuffyBot

Originally posted by PatLam
Great
You succeeded in making an ill person feel even more ill.. You can be proud.

I don't think so - offering opposing/differing views should only cause people to think - I don't think it can make anyone do anything.

PatLam

It's a sad discussion and I can understand that Aeon is angry, since WWW and Sangre were not really kind to him. He's not childish, he's just suffered a lot. And there are people here who generalize too much. None of you is a psychologist. it's ok to discuss, but sometimes, when feelings are too strong, it can become a personal thing.
Stop critizing Aeon. He's off and can't defend himself. That's not fair

smiles

PatLam you've gotten my PM at this stage. That is a warning and I fully intend to carry it out if you don't listen to it.

<< Fio >>

ecksor

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
the usual reason for self damage is for attention.

pretty simple reason.

In all fairness, there was no way that comment wasn't going to cause a stupid row.

WhiteWashMan

Originally posted by Anonimousse
As much as I disagree with WhiteWashMan, he's just trying to make a point based on his own experiences. That's all he can do. It may seem like he's trying to be offensive but he's really just trying to get his point across. I don't think he means offense.

ok, ive said it many times that i am not trying to be offensive. if my manner seems to be prying for information, then yes, guilty as charged, but im want to find out about this.
just because my beliefs are different, does not mean i am trying to annoy you someone.

WhiteWashMan, Could you explain to me what the purpose of a 'Moderator' is on boards.ie?

im not a moderator of boards.ie.
thats an admin job.

not entirely sure what the problem is though.

In all fairness, there was no way that comment wasn't going to cause a stupid row

why is that?
why should it cause a row?
it would cause a row for someone how cant be arsed to enter into a disussion about the topic.
dont try and make this into something it isnt.
now, you are trolling.

PatLam

I don't like to be threatened...

ecksor

Originally posted by WhiteWashMan
dont try and make this into something it isnt.
now, you are trolling.

What's your usual defence against accusations of trolling? "Your honour, I was only expressing a different opinion, they were too narrow minded to discuss/understand it." My understanding is that we're not allowed use the word in relation to you any more, so I feel a bit at a disadvantage in that discussion.

Hey, maybe you're right, maybe you do know more about these people's psychological habits than they do, and maybe you do have the authority to come along teaching them what is going on instead of asking them what is going on, but that still doesn't change the point that your original comment was never going to do anything more than cause a stupid petty argument due to the dismissive way that you phrased it. You can argue that perhaps people shouldn't rise to it, but since people have been rising to you for years now I don't think you should act surprised when they do it. That's all.

delop

Originally posted by smiles
PatLam you've gotten my PM at this stage. That is a warning and I fully intend to carry it out if you don't listen to it.

Hmmmm... Smiles why did you just not PM PatLam the above comment as well? Why was PatLam warned? is PatLam not entitled to his/her opinion?

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

mavedic

Imo they are lots of different reasons why people self harm. I did it for a short period of time as a way to focus the pain I was feeling into something I could manage. You can control the pain you're feeling when you cut yourself. Nobody close to me ever knew that I did it, and I stopped myself after a while when I was able to deal with things. It can be a cry for attention for some people, but if it is whats wrong with that? If someone needs help why criticise them for looking for help (maybe they can't ask for it directly)? Ok, its not the best way to go about it, but at least they are dealing with pain in someway.