On the subject of trust in a relationship. I am with same girl nearly 15 years, since I was 19. We have a young and happy family. She is a flirty person in general but sometimes I think it can cross the line a bit. Countless times(in fact most times since we started going out) we would be out on a night out and after a few drinks she's off. There have been times when I have come across her in intense conversation/flirting with other guys. These could be complete strangers, it doesn't seem to matter much to her. She'll always be in a corner of a room with some guy. Her body language, which I am familiar with, seems to suggest that she is seriously flirting. She admits that but says its just flirting. But why go round looking to create the opportunity? why does she constantly do these things? Is it drink? me? cheap trill at feeling wanted?
To give you a bit of a background she still gets absolutely pissed like an 18 year old girl every time she goes out. She is a fine looking woman, intelligent, bubbly with a wicked sense of humour. I actually like her out going personality but after 15 years I would like her to grow up a bit and not get drunk, disappear and flirt with guys. She has cheated on her previous boyfriend but that was when she was 18. Nothing to do with me except the fact that she cheated on him with that guys brother makes me think what her capacity for cheating is like? It was when she was young though so it shouldn't matter, which it wouldn't, but for the fact that she still acts like she was 19 when drinking too much.
This is all coming to a head because she mentioned to me that her workmates and herself have booked a Christmas party for themselves (its not her works official party), in a hotel 40 miles from where we live and work. Now I am not a damp squib but how is going to a festiveness Christmas party where surely her and her mates are sure to get completely wasted in the presence of other inebriated and randy men from other office Christmas parties. She took no time in explaining that partners were not invited, even though it isn't the official party and is been organised by them. Why would a bunch of office women go to Christmas party in a hotel 40 miles away from where they work, not invite their partners and book a room for the night? Its all very immature to be honest.
Thing is I just am at a stage in my life where I have a family I love and a fiancé I still fancy like mad. I am sick of this **** every time we go out. I just want a normal relationship. I ain't going to stay with a person who does these things even if she says it means nothing. Why am I having reservations about this whole party thing? I would be hurt but I would rather be single and look for somebody else than keep up this charade. She says she loves me and wouldn't cheat but ffs why do all the chasing then. I am cleaner than white, I can be grumpy, negative like anyone else. We have a good sex life considering we now have a teenager in the house. But I sometimes think she is somewhere else and it's a horrible feeling to have. She is sick of me saying it to her but she's the kind of person to bury something and plough on.
What do you think? A woman's point of view would be helpful a lot.