Boards.ie uses cookies. By continuing to browse this site you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Click here to find out more x
Post Reply  
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
11-07-2012, 11:06   #1
thisNthat
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 186
Funny David Feherty Quotes

If any of you are not golfers and don’t know who David Feherty is, think of an Irishman who was a professional golfer, and is now a TV commentator for Golf Channel, and has his own show.
The stuff that just rolls off of his lips is so funny that for a few years they wouldn’t even let him do the Masters coverage for fear he would offend the Masters Committee.

On a possible injury to Rory McElroy -- “Fortunately, Rory is only 22 years old, so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.”

“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.”

“I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn’t be here this week. He is busy attending the birth of his next wife.”

On Jim Furyk’s swing -- “It looks like an octopus falling out of a tree.”

On Luke Donald's recent success -- “He’s a bloody walking ATM. I slid my AmEx card between the cheeks of his ass and out popped $500.”

Describing VJ Singh's prodigious practice regime -- "VJ hits more balls than Elton John's chin."

"That was a great shot -- if they'd put the pin there today."

"All you need for a happy life is good health and a bad memory."

Describing a player's tee shot -- "Everything moves except his bowels."

"Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff."
thisNthat is offline  
Advertisement
11-07-2012, 12:17   #2
newport2
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,078
He's definitely come out with some great one-liners over the years, some great ones in your OP!

He does come out with some awful drivel in between though, sounds like he's trying too hard to be funny a lot of the time. I find him a bit annoying tbh, but I figure I'm probably outnumbered by those who like him though!

Bruce Critchley drives me mad, would nearly press the mute button when he's on.

I watch an awful lot of golf though, so I guess most commentators are going to get somewhat annoying to listen to week in, week out talking about the same thing. I sound like a grumpy old man here, rant over
newport2 is offline  
Thanks from:
11-07-2012, 23:18   #3
A New earth
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Dublin
Posts: 235
Liked the title of one of his books

"Somewhere in Ireland a Village is Missing an Idiot"
A New earth is offline  
05-11-2012, 22:00   #4
SHOVELLER
Registered User
 
SHOVELLER's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: D4
Posts: 649
Funny guy but disappointed that he has more or less given up on Ireland.
SHOVELLER is offline  
06-11-2012, 09:34   #5
FixdePitchmark
Registered User
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Anywhere the sun rises over a links
Posts: 4,912
Anybody watch Feherty - good show.

But some of his little comedic interludes are a bit much, It is a sort of corny rehearsed moment - some of the pros are very serious and it is a bit awkward. Sometimes the pros think he is just rude and it is funny then by accident.

He has the gift of the gab and lovely swing.
FixdePitchmark is offline  
Advertisement
06-11-2012, 13:24   #6
Freemount09
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 322
He does have some good sayings alright. Haven't seen his show, I would watch it - when is it on ?

Also, might be a Q for another forum but does anyone have instructions on how to tune a sky box to get the golf channel ?
Freemount09 is offline  
06-11-2012, 14:00   #7
InTheRough
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Waterford
Posts: 29
I think Feherty also described Colin Montgomerie as having a face "like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle"?
InTheRough is offline  
06-11-2012, 14:11   #8
not yet
Registered User
 
not yet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: not sure
Posts: 1,960
Mid-atlantic gobsh1te....
not yet is offline  
06-11-2012, 14:21   #9
SnowDrifts
Registered User
 
SnowDrifts's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 2,130
Some funny ones here as he rips players at the Tavistock Cup

SnowDrifts is offline  
Thanks from:
Advertisement
06-11-2012, 15:26   #10
lowelife
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 329
Quote:
Originally Posted by InTheRough View Post
I think Feherty also described Colin Montgomerie as having a face "like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle"?
Also didnt he start the "Mrs Doubtfire" thing that wound Monty up so much he asked for him to be kicked out the team room in 1999 @ Ryder Cup in Brookline
lowelife is offline  
06-11-2012, 16:41   #11
RikkFlair
Registered User
 
RikkFlair's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,362
"I'll be rooting for USA in the 2012 Ryder Cup"

That was a funny one.
RikkFlair is online now  
Thanks from:
06-11-2012, 17:42   #12
Seves Three Iron
Closed Account
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 308
Each to his own I suppose but I find Feherty to be easily the most annoying personality/analyst/voice over/whatever he calls himsef in golf - by a country mile. Americans obviously think he's funny and it would appear he's making a pile of cash for himself. Just confirms my suspicion though that self confidence is far more important than actual talent.
Seves Three Iron is offline  
(2) thanks from:
07-11-2012, 00:37   #13
onlyfinewine
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 388

Quote:
Originally Posted by A New earth View Post
Liked the title of one of his books

"Somewhere in Ireland a Village is Missing an Idiot"
Do you think it might be a self-portrait?
onlyfinewine is offline  
07-11-2012, 15:11   #14
fearruanua
Registered User
 
fearruanua's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Cuige Mumhan
Posts: 249
some other quotes I found online

"From my own experience visiting the troops in the Middle East, I can tell you this, though: despite how the conflict has been portrayed by our glorious media, if you gave any U.S. soldier a gun with two bullets in it, and he found himself in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Osama bin Laden, there's a good chance that Nancy Pelosi would get shot twice, and Harry Reid and bin Laden would be strangled to death."

Feherty has had a long struggle with depression and alcoholism, which he publicly addressed in 2006. In an interview with Golf Magazine about his problems, Feherty said "I used alcohol to mask my inner demons".
The outspoken columnist then took a shot at actor and noted Scientologist Tom Cruise, who has said that therapy and drugs are useless and that depression can be cured by physical exercise:
"Actually, some sort of exercise would have helped me. If I kicked the sh1t out of Tom Cruise, I'd feel a lot better about myself."
fearruanua is offline  
07-11-2012, 16:03   #15
slave1
Registered User
 
slave1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: here
Posts: 4,239
I watched one of his programs when on hols in the states this year and he came down pretty seriously when discussing receovery from alcoholism with John Daly.
He (Feherty) can only do it with a daily cocktail of drugs, a lot of those drugs can have a fair impact on one's personality, just saying.
slave1 is offline  
Post Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Remove Text Formatting
Bold
Italic
Underline

Insert Image
Wrap [QUOTE] tags around selected text
 
Decrease Size
Increase Size
Please sign up or log in to join the discussion

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search



Share Tweet