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Those embarressing... erections

2»

Comments

  • #52
    A7X
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,084 ✭✭✭A7X


    Tar.Aldarion wrote: »
    So yeah, I was teaching primary school kids, and whoever said picture them in their underwear to feel more confident is in for it. :mad::mad::mad:

    NO...just no


  • #53
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,912 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Tar.Aldarion wrote:
    So yeah, I was teaching primary school kids, and whoever said picture them in their underwear to feel more confident is in for it.
    A7X wrote: »
    NO...just no

    Why are there so many paedophiles in the world?
    Too many sexy school-kids. :pac:


  • #54
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Abigayle wrote: »
    Not for some perhaps, but it makes me laugh if I catch a guy with one. The guy is hardly (excuse non-intended pun) being perverted, its unvoluntary.

    That's what you think Abigayle.


  • #55
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,335 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    My security suite has pop-up protection.:cool:


  • #56
    Professey Chin
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 51,054 ✭✭✭✭Professey Chin


    Blue_Lagoon wrote: »
    My security suite has pop-up protection.:cool:
    Lucky you.
    I just have a pop-up blocker. It hurts :(


  • #57
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    An File wrote: »
    Why are there so many paedophiles in the world?
    Too many sexy school-kids. :pac:

    When confronted by such things, it always makes me think of the Eircom announcement when you can't get through to someone.

    "We're sorry, but *insert perversion here*, is not available."

    I'm sorry, but my empathy for that situation, is not available. Please hang up, and try again later.

    Although, my worst has to be back in my First Aid days, when I was confronted with a being a casualty for a girl trying to put on one of these on me (wikipedia).

    There was a way to get the groin straps on without putting your hands near there.

    No one had told her.

    Closest anyones hands have ever gone without looking for the moneypot.

    This a week after I'd sent the poor thing the "I think I like you, can we go out?" text, and been sent the "WTF?! you weirdo!" txt.

    I'm embarassment-immune now, although I wonder who was it more uncomfortable for.

    I just thank God I haven't revealed the Secret Boards ID to her.


  • #58
    Local-womanizer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,798 ✭✭✭Local-womanizer


    Its great getting one in the middle of a crowd of people,use it to poke them out of the way.Nobody is going to argue with a man with an erection.


  • #59
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Local-womanizer wrote: »
    Its great getting one in the middle of a crowd of people,use it to poke them out of the way.Nobody is going to argue with a man with an erection.

    You'd sure know :pac:


  • #60
    c4cat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 518 ✭✭✭c4cat


    Used to happen to me while riding on the Tokyo Subway during the rush hour and this is what would happen http://www.ridelust.com/japanese-man-accidentally-inflates-underwear-during-subway-commute/


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  • #61
    randylonghorn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Hagar wrote: »
    I used just tuck it into the top of my sock to prevent just such embarassing moments. ;)
    John McGahern has so much to be responsible for ... >.<
    Denerick wrote: »
    Unfortunately one can only get a grip in the privacy of one's own home.
    You should have a conversation with FlashRaziel!! >_>


    I seemed to spend my whole time in secondary school with one (despite my regular efforts to defuse the situation!) In the end I used to just ignore it, and if anyone slagged or said anything I would just stare at them in puzzlement and go "What?! No, I haven't!"

    That approach had several advantages ... :pac:


  • #62
    GA361
    Closed Accounts Posts: 609 ✭✭✭GA361


    This would be a really embarrassing way to get one . . . .

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_erection


  • #63
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,912 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    GA361 wrote: »
    This would be a really embarrassing way to get one . . . .

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_erection

    You can't be embarrassed when you're dead ;)

    Also, WTF?! :eek:


  • #64
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,335 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    randylonghorn wrote: »
    That approach had several advantages ... :pac:
    What would one expect from a randy... username (unless they were from Redmond WA)?


  • #65
    Kinetic^
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,249 ✭✭✭✭Kinetic^


    GA361 wrote: »
    This would be a really embarrassing way to get one . . . .

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_erection

    Leave the stiffs alone ffs!


  • #66
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,104 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    The worst is getting one in the library with 1000 students there when blue lagoon sends you a poem. :pac:


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  • #67
    Insect Overlord
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 30,912 Mod ✭✭✭✭Insect Overlord


    Tar.Aldarion wrote: »
    The worst is getting one in the library with 1000 students there when blue lagoon sends you a poem. :pac:

    This thread just got interesting!
    Pity, it's my bed time...


  • #68
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,335 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Tar.Aldarion wrote: »
    The worst is getting one in the library with 1000 students there when blue lagoon sends you a poem. :pac:
    Tarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! That was a secret!


  • #69
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,104 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Oh crap! It wasn';t a secret in the library, no secrets are kept there :(

    Now to explain this to the wife. :eek:


  • #70
    randylonghorn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    GA361 wrote: »
    This would be a really embarrassing way to get one . . . .

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_erection
    Might be useful in some cases.
    Tar.Aldarion wrote: »
    The worst is getting one in the library with 1000 students there when blue lagoon sends you a poem. :pac:
    Jeez, you're such a braggart! :rolleyes: :p


  • #71
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    never had one why because i used the elastic of my boxer shorts to help hide it.....:D tho getting a horn in a pair of tracky bottoms can be be particularly hard to hide...

    tho i remember my home ec teacher leaning over my desk with a low cute top on and i just stared :D and within 2 secs mother of good i was harder then titanium bullets ...


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  • #72
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,335 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Tar.Aldarion wrote: »
    Oh crap! It wasn';t a secret in the library, no secrets are kept there :(

    Now to explain this to the wife. :eek:
    If memory serves me, I recall there were two to that tango!


  • #73
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,104 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    what bad memories women have eh!


  • #74
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 31,118 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Hagar wrote: »
    I used just tuck it into the top of my sock to prevent just such embarassing moments. ;)
    Your leg will end up like this!
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-AVDeLNC0M


  • #75
    randylonghorn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Tar.Aldarion wrote: »
    what bad memories women have eh!

    Yeah, they always remember the inconvenient bits ... which brings us nicely back to the topic of this thread! :pac:


  • #76
    Jackeenboy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭Jackeenboy


    True Story: I had a MASSIVE ERECTION while being searched by a female garda(quite a hotty she was)... I was hoping she would rub off it and say "What is that!? take that out !", I would of then said "thats my pistol miss and took it out":D..she didnt notice the bad boy though


  • #77
    randylonghorn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 29,509 ✭✭✭✭randylonghorn


    Jackeenboy wrote: »
    True Story: I had a MASSIVE ERECTION ... she didnt notice the bad boy though
    Note the inherent contradiction! :pac: :D


  • #78
    D.Q
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,054 ✭✭✭D.Q


    randylonghorn wrote: »
    Note the inherent contradiction! :pac: :D


    With a username like that..im taking this mans word as gospel within this thread.


  • #79
    kingtut
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,488 ✭✭✭kingtut


    It's better to have embarrassing erections than to have none at all.

    Just wait a while though for in years to come this thread will read "Those embarrassing moments when the little bugger won't stay up"


  • #80
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    I'm proud of each one.


  • #81
    Jackeenboy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 212 ✭✭Jackeenboy


    randylonghorn wrote: »
    Note the inherent contradiction! :pac: :D
    Maybe she was afraid of it;)


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  • #82
    D.Q
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,054 ✭✭✭D.Q


    Iv named the erected alter-ego of my penis Jessica.


  • #83
    2 stroke
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭2 stroke


    K4t wrote: »

    think of Mary Harney.

    Funny, thats how I got the erection in the first place.


  • #84
    Jigsaw
    Registered Users Posts: 1,508 ✭✭✭Jigsaw


    If I get an involuntary erection I just find the nearest toilet and **** it off. It's not a big problem. In fact, if anything. it is a nice surprise. No cock preparation - the dick is ready so **** it and cum. Great stuff.


  • #85
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,104 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Emer have you in court for that yet?


  • #86
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    2 stroke wrote: »
    Funny, thats how I got the erection in the first place.



    *shudders*

    mary harney ewwwwwww


  • #87
    Jigsaw
    Registered Users Posts: 1,508 ✭✭✭Jigsaw


    Tar.Aldarion wrote: »
    Emer have you in court for that yet?

    Emer refused to press charges because although she felt my actions were unwelcome, she knew my motives were pure. She was able to rise above things. We have a working arrangement. If only all stalkees could be so reasonable. I consider myself very lucky.


  • #88
    Tar.Aldarion
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,104 Mod ✭✭✭✭Tar.Aldarion


    Jigsaw wrote: »
    Emer refused to press charges because although she felt my erections were unwelcome, she didn't know my motives.

    She was able to run away.

    I followed her to work.

    If only all stalkees could be successful. I consider myself very lucky.

    I see.


  • #89
    A_SN
    Closed Accounts Posts: 515 ✭✭✭A_SN


    I used to have lots of them due to sleep deprivation, that's partly why I used to wear huge pants lol. Worst cases were while wearing a light grey suit, the slightest bulge would be seen from 200 yards away, fortunately I'd always walk around with a document in my hand, although I was pretty sure that walking with a document hiding my crotch didn't look very natural.

    The very worse time though was when I was at that school distributing laptops for 13 year old kids. I was dozing off and getting a stiffy and suddenly I had to stand up cause it was my turn to speak or whatever. I awkwardly tried staying a bit bent forward and kind of hiding behind a box, but I could never determine whether they all figured what was going on, if they only saw that I was acting awkwardly for an unexplained reason or if it all was in my head.

    These days I just don't go out of my house except to buy groceries, so those things don't happen anymore :phew!:

    Oh and as for solutions, well that one only works temporarily and is kind of disagreeable, makes your body twitch a little actually, if you squeeze your sphincter hard and continuously for 20 seconds it just kills it. Sticking it in your belt can also work to hide it, although it depends on both your specifications and your clothes.

    By the way, does anyone get one while standing up? I never do, unless I have a good reason, standing up just kills it. That was the annoying thing about getting them in class, you'd get it for an hour and a half straight, and by the time you'd walk to the bathroom it's dead on arrival.


  • #90
    alexandros
    Closed Accounts Posts: 257 ✭✭alexandros


    Just imagine wearing a razorblade cokc-ring.

    Or that one scene from that movie "Hard Candy"..
    (if you don't already know what I am talking about - DO NOT WATCH THE MOVIE)


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  • #91
    Denerick
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 6,488 ✭✭✭Denerick


    By the way, does anyone get one while standing up? I never do, unless I have a good reason, standing up just kills it. That was the annoying thing about getting them in class, you'd get it for an hour and a half straight, and by the time you'd walk to the bathroom it's dead on arrival.

    I only ever had one **** in secondary school, its an all boys school so it was always a dodgy territory. Though we had a fantastic array of female teachers. At least we thought they were fantastic. I remember one day after a particularly sex-dominated German class with out German teacher, in which she was talking about obscure grammar and I was thinking of what I would do to her given half a chance, I legged it to the bathroom straight after. Ten minutes later I went to my next class and my (Female, kinda sexy) teacher asked what I was doing that took me so long... By my bright red expression and sniggering everyone was left with no doubt what I was up to. Got a good bit of slagging over it all, even though everyone has had at least one **** in school. Good craic though!


  • #92
    Zadkiel
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 687 ✭✭✭Zadkiel


    I thought this thread was about the Spire :(


  • #93
    A_SN
    Closed Accounts Posts: 515 ✭✭✭A_SN


    Denerick wrote: »
    I only ever had one **** in secondary school, its an all boys school so it was always a dodgy territory. Though we had a fantastic array of female teachers. At least we thought they were fantastic. I remember one day after a particularly sex-dominated German class with out German teacher, in which she was talking about obscure grammar and I was thinking of what I would do to her given half a chance, I legged it to the bathroom straight after. Ten minutes later I went to my next class and my (Female, kinda sexy) teacher asked what I was doing that took me so long... By my bright red expression and sniggering everyone was left with no doubt what I was up to. Got a good bit of slagging over it all, even though everyone has had at least one **** in school. Good craic though!
    Funny, I've never been turned on by any teacher. Probably because they all were aging communists. And that's even though there was this one teacher with fat boobs who'd practically lay her boobies on my forehead. Damn pervy ass cougar teachers.


  • #94
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 92,450 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    http://assets.mog.com/pictures/0000/0001/8644/images/1215648982.jpg


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