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Please critique my demos on myspace.

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  • 08-05-2011 4:00pm
    #1
    The Jammy dodger
    Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭


    Hi, looking for criticism here for my page. Be as hard, constructive and honest as possibly you can be. It may not be your Genre but sure comment anyway if you like.

    http://www.myspace.com/stephenmcelligottmusic

    The Jammy Dodger


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    #2
    MilanPan!c
    Site Banned Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭MilanPan!c


    Honestly...

    Better than I thought it would be, but I had very low expectations..

    The music is ok, but a bit tame and ... not hugely original, but that's ok... I mean.. most music isn't hugely original.

    The main issue is the vocals, which are in tune, mostly, but the tone, that is your actual voice is really love/hate... I didn't love it.

    Not horrid, but... not for me...

    Better recordings and a few more chances in the arrangements... and then maybe some more folks would care.

    Hope that's helpful!


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    #3
    The Jammy dodger
    Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭The Jammy dodger


    MilanPan!c wrote: »
    Honestly...

    Better than I thought it would be, but I had very low expectations..

    The music is ok, but a bit tame and ... not hugely original, but that's ok... I mean.. most music isn't hugely original.

    The main issue is the vocals, which are in tune, mostly, but the tone, that is your actual voice is really love/hate... I didn't love it.

    Not horrid, but... not for me...

    Better recordings and a few more chances in the arrangements... and then maybe some more folks would care.

    Hope that's helpful!

    Thanks Milan. It was very helpful. the recordings were done a number of years ago when I was 18 -20 ( I'm 26 now ) and you confirmed my own commentarie upon them when digging them out. is that the tone of my voice is lame and the songs are a bit tame and could stand out better with some better arrangements.

    I wasnt really aiming for complete originality and tend to just play the music I hear on the radio and move it about about it. But then again Jimmy hendrix, Marc bolan ( T- Rex ) all repeatedly used the twelve bar blues ( very unoriginal ) and made a lot of money with their hits in doing so. But its not for you and I'm glad you actually took the busy time out of your day to give it a listen. Thanks a lot for your reply.


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    #4
    MrStuffins
    Registered Users Posts: 19,148 ✭✭✭✭MrStuffins


    Hey Jammy.

    It isn't really my bag but...........

    To be honest, I quite liked She Blew Me Away. I liked your voice on it. I could see myself tapping my feet to it if it came on the radio.

    Wasn't so crazy about Number Thirty Two. It actually sounds like it's someone else singing. And it doesnt really go anywhere. Maybe the poor recording quality didnt do it any favours.

    Change the World..... is decent too.

    If these were your first attempts at writing and recording they're very good.

    The main thing i'd say is, the songs didnt really differentiate from one another much. I'd like to hear you in a band with a few other influences thrown in there... if you get me?


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    #5
    The Jammy dodger
    Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭The Jammy dodger


    MrStuffins wrote: »
    Hey Jammy.

    It isn't really my bag but...........

    To be honest, I quite liked She Blew Me Away. I liked your voice on it. I could see myself tapping my feet to it if it came on the radio.

    Wasn't so crazy about Number Thirty Two. It actually sounds like it's someone else singing. And it doesnt really go anywhere. Maybe the poor recording quality didnt do it any favours.

    Change the World..... is decent too.

    If these were your first attempts at writing and recording they're very good.

    The main thing i'd say is, the songs didnt really differentiate from one another much. I'd like to hear you in a band with a few other influences thrown in there... if you get me?

    Yeah 32 and chang the world etc were earliar recordings when I was a young lad and were my first shot at it. my voice hadnt quite matured then until she blew me away which was done in a different studio live years later.

    32 as you hear it was also just the demo with drumtrack. whereas the finished product I've lost over the years and nobody seems to have it. I dropped the music for a while due to funding and going into despair with it all. So when I went looking through some stuff I found it all again. I might re-record it loud and raw.

    When you say the music didnt differentiate much do you mean they all sounded too closely linked in influence or flatline and lost its oompa loompa and got boring? as in I should arrange it a little more and throw something more wild in there?

    Thanks for all the criticism. Its mucho needed and I'm starting to get an idea of what I must do so far.

    Peace
    Jammy


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    #6
    The Jammy dodger
    Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭The Jammy dodger


    Following the advice of the previous poster I've managed to find the polished production of Number Thirty two and posted it up on myspace. I've also posted up a new song.

    www.myspace.com/stephenmcelligottmusic

    The Dodger

    Thanks again for the advice.


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    #7
    MilanPan!c
    Site Banned Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭MilanPan!c


    The Jammy dodger wrote: »
    Following the advice of the previous poster I've managed to find the polished production of Number Thirty two and posted it up on myspace. I've also posted up a new song.

    www.myspace.com/stephenmcelligottmusic

    The Dodger

    Thanks again for the advice.

    A few things... production is a lot better (still a bit thin really, but that's prolly just the tools you have access too, not a big deal for a demo)... and the tune is the best of the bunch..

    but..

    the bass and the guitars seem a bit out of tune with each other... or something is weird... maybe it's just myspace's **** quality...

    I also think the drums are very repetitive.. and take away form the bridge a bit...

    And, add some backing vocals... make such a huge difference...

    and maybe add a differently flavoured guitar in the chorus....

    I saw your "producer" post and I think that if you did find a producer for this song, or something of similar quality, you'd be blown away at what a big difference it makes.. voice is a LOT better on this tune btw... still a bit tame for me... production/arrangement wise though.. :)


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    #8
    The Jammy dodger
    Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭The Jammy dodger


    MilanPan!c wrote: »
    A few things... production is a lot better (still a bit thin really, but that's prolly just the tools you have access too, not a big deal for a demo)... and the tune is the best of the bunch..

    but..

    the bass and the guitars seem a bit out of tune with each other... or something is weird... maybe it's just myspace's **** quality...

    I also think the drums are very repetitive.. and take away form the bridge a bit...

    And, add some backing vocals... make such a huge difference...

    and maybe add a differently flavoured guitar in the chorus....

    I saw your "producer" post and I think that if you did find a producer for this song, or something of similar quality, you'd be blown away at what a big difference it makes.. voice is a LOT better on this tune btw... still a bit tame for me... production/arrangement wise though.. :)

    Thanks Milan Panic. Are you referring to Number Thirty two?

    It was all recorded, produced on the spot and engineered in a day. So for 350 euros it was basically all I could afford and was young at the time with little or no experience in this type of thing ( still have no experience ).

    I thought it was a bit thin too. I'm not sure how to say it, but it needs like to be...'loud and in your face'' kind of sound. At the moment it sounds a bit weak. The drum track used does not really embellish the song and as you say is repetitive. This bugged me to no end and still does.

    When you say flavoured guitar, what exactly do you mean? rock it up more to make it really really really sound like its the Chorus and lyrical hook of the song itself?

    Thanks again for your great critique. Its given me a lot to think about and I must get to work on it right away. I'm waiting on my critique for it back from the A&R company. I got two back already such as ''change the world'' they thought it was a good track, just felt that in places it was a bit out of tune in vocal and that as you say was a bit ''thin'' in various parts including the drums which needed to be brought out a bit more. They had a lot more to say but I'd be here all day typing it.

    Thanks again

    Jammy


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    #9
    dlofnep
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,759 ✭✭✭✭dlofnep


    She Blew me away was decent :)


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    #10
    The Jammy dodger
    Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭The Jammy dodger


    dlofnep wrote: »
    She Blew me away was decent :)

    Yeah but is a bit skeletal at the moment. I'm going back into the studio with that one to give it more oomph and body. it needs to be slicker and brought out of itself a bit more.

    Glad you liked it. I give it a go and at the end of the day its all about the work we put into it.

    Thanks for the feedback

    Jammy


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    #11
    MilanPan!c
    Site Banned Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭MilanPan!c


    The Jammy dodger wrote: »
    Thanks Milan Panic. Are you referring to Number Thirty two?

    It was all recorded, produced on the spot and engineered in a day. So for 350 euros it was basically all I could afford and was young at the time with little or no experience in this type of thing ( still have no experience ).

    I thought it was a bit thin too. I'm not sure how to say it, but it needs like to be...'loud and in your face'' kind of sound. At the moment it sounds a bit weak. The drum track used does not really embellish the song and as you say is repetitive. This bugged me to no end and still does.

    When you say flavoured guitar, what exactly do you mean? rock it up more to make it really really really sound like its the Chorus and lyrical hook of the song itself?

    Thanks again for your great critique. Its given me a lot to think about and I must get to work on it right away. I'm waiting on my critique for it back from the A&R company. I got two back already such as ''change the world'' they thought it was a good track, just felt that in places it was a bit out of tune in vocal and that as you say was a bit ''thin'' in various parts including the drums which needed to be brought out a bit more. They had a lot more to say but I'd be here all day typing it.

    Thanks again

    Jammy

    Yeah Jammy, I mean the guitar needs to change with the song, so e.g. switch to less open sounding more distorted guitars for the chorus...

    Try and find a few distinct elements and whittle each section down to only those elements... always be thinking, "why am I doing this?".

    I'd also recommend trying to get some music software and learning how to use it... it's not THAT hard and the quality of your demos will increase dramatically... :)


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    #12
    The Jammy dodger
    Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭The Jammy dodger


    MilanPan!c wrote: »
    Yeah Jammy, I mean the guitar needs to change with the song, so e.g. switch to less open sounding more distorted guitars for the chorus...

    Try and find a few distinct elements and whittle each section down to only those elements... always be thinking, "why am I doing this?".

    I'd also recommend trying to get some music software and learning how to use it... it's not THAT hard and the quality of your demos will increase dramatically... :)

    Thank you. everytime I listen to it I can just hear a big distorted guitar in there and it kills me that it isnt there along with more vocal harmonys.

    What kind of software would you recommend I get for home recording? what are the basics?

    my last question is. Would it be possible to take the song just on the cd as it is to a studio and have them edit and add bits to it here and there?

    Cheers
    Jammy


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    #13
    MilanPan!c
    Site Banned Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭MilanPan!c


    The Jammy dodger wrote: »
    Thank you. everytime I listen to it I can just hear a big distorted guitar in there and it kills me that it isnt there along with more vocal harmonys.

    What kind of software would you recommend I get for home recording? what are the basics?

    my last question is. Would it be possible to take the song just on the cd as it is to a studio and have them edit and add bits to it here and there?

    Cheers
    Jammy

    well, if you wanna spend money, there's lots and lots of great options for software, in fact it almost just comes down to two things:

    1. if you know someone that can help you, use what they use, for convience, as long as it meets your needs

    And

    2. If you don't know someone to help, determine what you need (you'll see you have several options, like Cubase, Logic, Pro Tools, Cakewalk, etc.) and then just look for the best deal. Everyone thinks their choice is the best, but it's more about comfort, which comes from practice.

    So...

    If you have no money to spend, get Reaper, it's free an pretty decent. Some love it, but no everyone.

    You'll also need a soundcard of some description and a way to monitor; people used to NEVER monitor with headphones, but... If you have a few euro there's some really great options. I prefer speakers, but sure, it all depends on your situation.

    Finally, regarding this, go today and investigate the music production subforum here on Boards. It's good, aside from a few issues with the Mods, and it's a great place to start learning and ask questions.

    Oh yeah, about the track, the answer is sadly no.. You could pretty obviously record extra stuff on top of the track, but it wouldn't sound great, but you couldn't really remix without the original individual tracks. More or less.


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    #14
    The Jammy dodger
    Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭The Jammy dodger


    MilanPan!c wrote: »
    well, if you wanna spend money, there's lots and lots of great options for software, in fact it almost just comes down to two things:

    1. if you know someone that can help you, use what they use, for convience, as long as it meets your needs

    And

    2. If you don't know someone to help, determine what you need (you'll see you have several options, like Cubase, Logic, Pro Tools, Cakewalk, etc.) and then just look for the best deal. Everyone thinks their choice is the best, but it's more about comfort, which comes from practice.

    So...

    If you have no money to spend, get Reaper, it's free an pretty decent. Some love it, but no everyone.

    You'll also need a soundcard of some description and a way to monitor; people used to NEVER monitor with headphones, but... If you have a few euro there's some really great options. I prefer speakers, but sure, it all depends on your situation.

    Finally, regarding this, go today and investigate the music production subforum here on Boards. It's good, aside from a few issues with the Mods, and it's a great place to start learning and ask questions.

    Oh yeah, about the track, the answer is sadly no.. You could pretty obviously record extra stuff on top of the track, but it wouldn't sound great, but you couldn't really remix without the original individual tracks. More or less.

    I noticed you didnt mention garage band 11. is there a reason for this? is it a program worth using?


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    #15
    MilanPan!c
    Site Banned Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭MilanPan!c


    The Jammy dodger wrote: »
    I noticed you didnt mention garage band 11. is there a reason for this? is it a program worth using?

    It's not really professional stuff.

    It's a cool toy, but...


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    #16
    The Jammy dodger
    Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭The Jammy dodger


    MilanPan!c wrote: »
    It's not really professional stuff.

    It's a cool toy, but...

    Yeah I'll go ahead and check up on the previous advice you gave on programs. Where can I buy them?


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    #17
    MilanPan!c
    Site Banned Posts: 4,415 ✭✭✭MilanPan!c


    The Jammy dodger wrote: »
    Yeah I'll go ahead and check up on the previous advice you gave on programs. Where can I buy them?

    Well, practically anywhere, but online is gonna prolly be your cheapest bet.

    Start here: http://www.thomann.de/ie/sequencing_software_and_virtual_studios.html

    but, once you've found what you want, shop around, some places are cheapest for some things.

    For what it's worth I personally use Cakewalk Sonor (google it) but that's cause I worked for them like a decade ago and learned it inside and out.

    And I'm the only one in Ireland that does I think. In the States it's v common.

    Anyway, read reviews, talk to friends and grab something asap. Watch tutorials online and ask for help in the music production forum here and on the forums of the software company itself.


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    #18
    The Jammy dodger
    Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭The Jammy dodger


    It is a rotten world milan where we all have to spend money to make money. Just doesnt make sense does it? lol :pac:

    Thanks for the advice. The programs are expensive but a drop in the ocean compared to having to pay for studio time.


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    #19
    all the stars
    Registered Users Posts: 1,058 ✭✭✭all the stars


    my first thought is your vocal sounds a bit uk? Like Indie brit-pop from a few years ago? Maybhe i'm gone mad...

    'Arrabella'
    That lil guitar rift is quite catchy, the hooky bit too. I kinda like it, its 'head noddin' material. :) Liked this one the best..


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    #20
    The Jammy dodger
    Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭The Jammy dodger


    all the stars wrote: »
    my first thought is your vocal sounds a bit uk? Like Indie brit-pop from a few years ago? Maybhe i'm gone mad...

    'Arrabella'
    That lil guitar rift is quite catchy, the hooky bit too. I kinda like it, its 'head noddin' material. :) Liked this one the best..

    Yeah the band I had with that song were ''The Starlings'' and I lived for a number of years in Scotland so we were the ''brit pop'' band of the village we lived. It's a mish mash of all my influences such as the kinks and the la's along with the seahorses. It's the type of stuff I like to write but to be honest I write a little of anything and everything which is why I do believe an album of mine would sound quite confusing to the listener and probably wouldnt roll nicely lol but that would depend upon the producer and engineer of the album wouldnt it?

    Had a listen to some of your R&B stuff and although its not my bag I quite liked it as it was different from the mainstream R&B you hear today on the radio. It sounded underground and homegrown. Thanks for sharing it with us.

    Jammy.


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    #21
    off.the.walls
    Registered Users Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭off.the.walls


    Voice reminds me of david bowie, i like that arabella song. Not my style of music but its like a mix of david bowie and the beatles to my ears anyway. Get rid of the woahs in the backround of the song though they don't add to it and sounds like some random drunk dude that you recorded at a gig, besides that i like it.

    ev


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    #22
    The Jammy dodger
    Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭The Jammy dodger


    off.the.walls wrote: »
    Voice reminds me of david bowie, i like that arabella song. Not my style of music but its like a mix of david bowie and the beatles to my ears anyway. Get rid of the woahs in the backround of the song though they don't add to it and sounds like some random drunk dude that you recorded at a gig, besides that i like it.

    ev

    Thanks off the walls. I'm a fan of bowie. But never thought the vocal tone in arrabella sounded bowish. The ''woahs'' you speak of... which song are you referring to? the Chorus of arrabella? If so I understand where your coming from. Sounds like someone sitting in your living room singing along lol.


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    #23
    off.the.walls
    Registered Users Posts: 1,298 ✭✭✭off.the.walls


    The Jammy dodger wrote: »
    Thanks off the walls. I'm a fan of bowie. But never thought the vocal tone in arrabella sounded bowish. The ''woahs'' you speak of... which song are you referring to? the Chorus of arrabella? If so I understand where your coming from. Sounds like someone sitting in your living room singing along lol.


    Yeah it was in arrabella and yeah dunno some bits just reminded me alot of bowie, thats a good thing though!


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    #24
    The Jammy dodger
    Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭The Jammy dodger


    off.the.walls wrote: »
    Yeah it was in arrabella and yeah dunno some bits just reminded me alot of bowie, thats a good thing though!

    lol yeah it was all recorded in a day and I find that the song drags a bit and the listener gets bored because its too long.

    Sounding like David Bowie may be a good thing, but just for the record...I dont dress like him honestly :pac:


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    #25
    Pat D. Almighty
    Registered Users Posts: 668 ✭✭✭Pat D. Almighty


    Doesn't matter what people think. As long as you like what you're producing. Don't change your songs on the advice of others, unless you want to be commercial and formulaic. The songs sound good to me. Not sure about the accent though... Try singing naturally :)


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    #26
    The Jammy dodger
    Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭The Jammy dodger


    Pat D. Almighty wrote: »
    Doesn't matter what people think. As long as you like what you're producing. Don't change your songs on the advice of others, unless you want to be commercial and formulaic. The songs sound good to me. Not sure about the accent though... Try singing naturally :)

    Thanks Pat, the advice of others can be helpful in as much as it gives me a well-rounded idea of what people like and dislike and how the song should sound. But not all advice works out and thats ok.

    The sound I'm after happens to be one that is commercial and formulaic as I need to the make the production and engineering quality top notch if it has any chance of making it to a major label and publishing company or film/t.v supervisor.

    I hear what your saying about the accent. It's touch and go, it just comes out that way and I listen more so to brit pop/rock than Irish Rock or folk and have a tendency to lean towards that. But I'll work on the accent in future and see if I can at least get it sounding neutral.

    Thanks for the advice.

    Jam


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