Have you ever kissed a partner in a "straight" bar?

Qrt · 17-07-2019 11:06pm #1

The title is pretty self explanatory, but I've recently started seeing somebody for the first time (I'm early 20s, late bloomer these days). Anyway, has anybody ever had bad reactions? Stares, either innocent or malicious? I just got thinking about this because I'm a bit tired of the interior of Pantibar at this stage...

drunkmonkey · 17-07-2019 11:08pm

There's no such thing as a straight bar, something invented to get the pink pound.

Qrt · 17-07-2019 11:14pm

drunkmonkey wrote: »

There's no such thing as a straight bar, something invented to get the pink pound.

I know, hence the quotes...

A non-LGBT establishment essentially.

KathleenGrant · 17-07-2019 11:15pm

Ffs I am too old for this ****.

Qrt · 17-07-2019 11:24pm

KathleenGrant wrote: »

Ffs I am too old for this ****.

Well I apologise for being a newly-out fella who's completely unaware of this type of thing and who doesn't want their head kicked in.

Ten of Swords · 17-07-2019 11:26pm

drunkmonkey wrote: »

There's no such thing as a straight bar, something invented to get the pink pound.

Interesting, tell me more

Ten of Swords · 17-07-2019 11:30pm

Qrt wrote: »

Stares, either innocent or malicious? I just got thinking about this because I'm a bit tired of the interior of Pantibar at this stage...

Sometimes people stare overtly, sometimes just a double take. Depends what you're doing (peck on the cheek or over the top PDA for example). Guess it depends on the crowd too.

KathleenGrant · 17-07-2019 11:40pm

Qrt wrote: »

Well I apologise for being a newly-out fella who's completely unaware of this type of thing and who doesn't want their head kicked in.

I am too old for the discrimination. I am.almost 60 and I accept everyone for who, what and how they are

Qrt · 17-07-2019 11:41pm

KathleenGrant wrote: »

I am too old for the discrimination. I am.almost 60 and I accept everyone for who, what and how they are

Thanks and that's great to know, but it doesn't really answer my question...

Purple Mountain · 17-07-2019 11:43pm

Gay or straight, if you started tearing into tonsil tennis with your partner in a bar then yes, I'd be the one looking at you in disgust.
I thought we all left that behind us at the teenage disco.

drunkmonkey · 17-07-2019 11:44pm

Qrt wrote: »

Thanks and that's great to know, but it doesn't really answer my question...

That 100% answers your question. All together now, don't buy into I'm gay so I have to go to gay places. It's pure nonsense.
Straight or Gay if your mauling someone in public expect a few funny looks. It's not cause your gay.

KathleenGrant · 17-07-2019 11:45pm

Qrt wrote: »

Thanks and that's great to know, but it doesn't really answer my question...

Well like I say I am almost 60 so when I was in bars they were all bars, not lgtb

Qrt · 17-07-2019 11:46pm

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Gay or straight, if you started tearing into tonsil tennis with your partner in a bar then yes, I'd be the one looking at you in disgust.
I thought we all left that behind us at the teenage disco.

Never got to experience a teenage disco because I absolutely f**king hated myself until recently, hence the question. But it's a fair analogy, cheers

JupiterKid · 18-07-2019 12:10am

Yep, myself and a guy I was going out with at the time snogged each other in the Bleeding Horse on Camden St when we were out with friends, had a few dances and after a LOT of alcohol was consumed...this would have been back in 2001 or thereabouts, and IIRC we did get stares.

Depends on the time and place and definitely not advised in pubs with a rough reputation - but in most bars in 2019 it wouldn’t be that big an issue but because it’s still pretty uncommon for straight people to see same-sex affection, people will do a double take.

baby and crumble · 18-07-2019 12:17am

It entirely depends on the bar and the situation. I don’t shy away from kissing my wife when we’re out and about but when I was younger I would have been much more careful.

I know lots of posters have chimed in with “who cares it’s 2019!” and for 99% of bars and situations you’ll get met with a ‘meh’ reaction from other punters. But queer bashing’s still happen so I get where the OP is coming from.

If it’s a nice bar before people get mad pissed then you’re probably fine. If it’s a rough pub or a nightclub scenario you might want to be a bit more careful. In general I’ve never had an issue but others I know have.

what the hell! · 18-07-2019 10:03am

I’ve always been very lucky out in Cork there’s never any hassle. You might catch one or two looking out of the corner of your eye but nothing has ever been said.

Goodshape · 18-07-2019 10:37am

Short answer: yes, plenty of times. To be honest I don't think I've had a negative reaction from anybody.

As others have said though – it (usually) depends on the bar! A late-night loud-music kinda place might be a different sort of a kiss to a sit-up-straight-and-sip-your-wine joint. Or a Dublin city centre bar vs a local pub in north Donegal. But I try to make a point of not purposefully holding back just because we're two guys. Some places can handle a little bit of PDA, some can't.

ongarboy · 18-07-2019 11:06am

I was in Tralee a few weeks back in a late bar and two guys next to us were kissing away and no-one took the slightest bit of notice. It was actually a very positive thing to see! I think it's all about context. If you went into a bar with auld lads in the middle of the day and started eating the face off your partner, you'd get some looks alright. If you are in a late bar with music, flashing lights, loud music, you wouldn't. If a straight couple were being overly affectionate in any environment, they'd possibly also get similar amount of looks.

If you sense the environment is safe and easy going, then it probably is, if you don't, then it probably isn't. (eg if I saw a bunch of boisterous alpha males boozing for hours next to me on a stag do, I'd think twice. If I saw everyone dancing enthusiastically to Billie Eilish or Lady Gaga, then I'd probably feel safe in doing so.

Heebie · 18-07-2019 3:45pm

drunkmonkey wrote:

Straight or Gay if your mauling someone in public expect a few funny looks. It's not cause your gay.

I think the op is more worried about the ones that follow you when you leave and kick your teeth in.

drunkmonkey · 18-07-2019 6:13pm

Heebie wrote: »

I think the op is more worried about the ones that follow you when you leave and kick your teeth in.

Happens straight guys all the time, some guys will just fight with their shadow especially after a few beers any excuse will do them.

Qrt · 18-07-2019 7:47pm

Thanks for the (helpful) replies! I know some may say "it's 2019, nobody cares!!" but it's not really a helpful point. I was subjected to quite a bad torrent of homophobic abuse on the 37 when I was 18 (and alone) so I'm just a bit...weary?

I'm too lazy to quote it but whoever said not to limit myself to the "gay" bars, I'm well ahead of you. €6.20 for a pint in Panti? Jaysus no.

drunkmonkey · 18-07-2019 11:37pm

KathleenGrant wrote: »

Well like I say I am almost 60 so when I was in bars they were all bars, not lgtb

Would you think this is a step forward or backwards. https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.independent.ie/breaking-news/irish-news/university-of-limerick-launches-lgbt-housing-to-help-students-adapt-to-college-life-38325871.html
You'd question what the end game of all this is.

Ten of Swords · 19-07-2019 12:18am

Lets remain on topic as per the op please

L1011 · 19-07-2019 5:29pm

Sufficiently that I got a heavy dig in the ribs for trying it in a bar in Latvia because my partner was more concerned about safety than I was.

I'm Very Tall and imposing so scumbags are less likely to start on someone they perceive as "weaker" - they should probably remember how successful some of our very light weight boxers are for starters there. So theres a little passive safety

Canard · 20-07-2019 9:46pm

Brief chip in, I've been on a few dates with a guy recently who's quite into PDA which is really not what I'm used to, but I decided to go with it and haven't noticed any stares or anything. We were in Capitol on George's St and kissed a little and no one noticed, but I still suggested moving onto the George

I get where you're coming from - if it's not "a gay bar", it alerts my sort of gay fight or flight instinct of "will this get me shouted at / hit / worse?"

Ignore the people acting like it's a silly question, it's absolutely not. If people have a problem with gay people and see them in a place that is not inherently gay, it's an excuse to have a go, so I totally get where you're coming from. But as others have said, you'll be fine - most places in Dublin that are more bars than pubs have a very open vibe / everyone minds their own business, at least that's what I find. Go enjoy your date, keep your wits about you and see what places you feel comfortable in.

Heebie · 21-07-2019 12:46pm

drunkmonkey wrote:

Happens straight guys all the time, some guys will just fight with their shadow especially after a few beers any excuse will do them.

There's a difference between a guy fighting with another guy over who brings home a particular girl.. the usual reason for fights among straight men in bars, and beating someone because they're gay.

rainybillwill · 21-07-2019 12:50pm

Saw two men try it in our local before its safe to say they got one hell of a beating :pac::pac::pac::pac::pac::pac:

suicide_circus · 21-07-2019 6:35pm

where do you go out socialising that you fear a severe beating?

Have you ever kissed a partner in a "straight" bar?

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