Loneliness, friend help 101

smarie101 · 12-06-2021 10:09pm #1

Hello you good people,

24Y Female for reference

I have moved from the country to Dublin approx 2 years ago. I now live with my boyfriend in Harolds Cross. Life is somewhat good, however i have do not have any friends. Since covid i feel like i have isolated myself from others and now i am in a position where i have no one. I wouldnt have had the nicest of friends growing up and feel like it is time for a fresh start.

I am at the point where this is getting me really down and upset, my partner is always meeting up with his own friends and i am feeling somewhat lonely. I have tried Meet up and GirlCrew however i didnt feel they were great.

If anyone can suggest anything to help me this would be much appreciated

YellowLead · 12-06-2021 10:13pm

I’ve made most of my friends over the years via workplaces - but I’ve moved around different companies quite a bit.

Besides girl crew and meet up - have you any hobbies you’d like to take up, as in specific classes?

Volunteering is also a REALLY great way to make friends for life - whether it’s for a charity or a community group.

smarie101 · 12-06-2021 10:20pm

Same here, but i never see them again.

Thanks a million for the response YellowLead, I enjoy football and running.

I am looking for a running club in Harolds cross yet hard enough too find

Re Football i have reached out but no response yet (i would assume covid related)

Thank you again.

YellowLead · 12-06-2021 10:21pm

smarie101 wrote: »

Same here, but i never see them again.

Thanks a million for the response YellowLead, I enjoy football and running.

I am looking for a running club in Harolds cross yet hard enough too find Re Football i have reached out but no response yet (i would assume covid related)

Thank you again.

Yeah it’s a sucky time to be looking for new friends, and also a time which exacerbates loneliness feelings when everybody is starting to meet up. Don’t worry - it will get easier with a little more time. Your positive attitude will help

rounders · 12-06-2021 10:28pm

smarie101 wrote: »

Hello you good people,

24Y Female for reference

I have moved from the country to Dublin approx 2 years ago. I now live with my boyfriend in Harolds Cross. Life is somewhat good, however i have do not have any friends. Since covid i feel like i have isolated myself from others and now i am in a position where i have no one. I wouldnt have had the nicest of friends growing up and feel like it is time for a fresh start.

I am at the point where this is getting me really down and upset, my partner is always meeting up with his own friends and i am feeling somewhat lonely. I have tried Meet up and GirlCrew however i didnt feel they were great.

If anyone can suggest anything to help me this would be much appreciated

If it's any consolation, I'm finding myself in the same boat, 26 Male, moved from the country to Dublin. I've friends, but a lot of individuals it that makes sense. Like everyone is meeting up the last two weeks for drinks etc but I just don't have a group of people to meet with and all my individual friends are off with their BF, GF or in their groups

Just started with the MeetUp groups so hopefully they're good

appledrop · 12-06-2021 10:34pm

It's a hard situation to be in OP but understandable when your moved to a new area during lockdown.

Find a running club ASAP even if a bit further out, that's definitely a winner as meeting with people who have same interests.

Hopefully when you can return to workplace and things return a bit more to normal you will have more friendships from work.

God I remember Fri drinks after work in my 20s,those were the days!

smarie101 · 12-06-2021 10:40pm

rounders wrote: »

If it's any consolation, I'm finding myself in the same boat, 26 Male, moved from the country to Dublin. I've friends, but a lot of individuals it that makes sense. Like everyone is meeting up the last two weeks for drinks etc but I just don't have a group of people to meet with and all my individual friends are off with their BF, GF or in their groups

Just started with the MeetUp groups so hopefully they're good

Thank you for this rounders, as strange as it sounds, its somewhat soothing to hear that i am not alone. I agree, its plastered all over the social media sites atm.. trying to stay clear of those

Best of luck with the MeetUp groups, and by the way which ones did you join out of interest?

smarie101 · 12-06-2021 10:42pm

appledrop wrote: »

It's a hard situation to be in OP but understandable when your moved to a new area during lockdown.

Find a running club ASAP even if a bit further out, that's definitely a winner as meeting with people who have same interests.

Hopefully when you can return to workplace and things return a bit more to normal you will have more friendships from work.

God I remember Fri drinks after work in my 20s,those were the days!

Thanks appledrop, looking for a suitable one at the mo, hopefully i can seek one soon.

Re the workplace, i have just started a new job which will make things a bit harder but i shall see how that goes!

appledrop · 12-06-2021 10:46pm

smarie101 wrote: »

Thanks appledrop, looking for a suitable one at the mo, hopefully i can seek one soon.

Re the workplace, i have just started a new job which will make things a bit harder but i shall see how that goes!

Yea give the workplace time. It's crap at moment with a lot of people working remotely but on positive side I think everyone will be dying to go out when offices go back so hopefully they will be plenty of socialising opportunities.

rounders · 12-06-2021 10:48pm

smarie101 wrote: »

Thank you for this rounders, as strange as it sounds, its somewhat soothing to hear that i am not alone. I agree, its plastered all over the social media sites atm.. trying to stay clear of those

Best of luck with the MeetUp groups, and by the way which ones did you join out of interest?

I've kinda joined a bit of everything, only logged in this evening to follow a few but haven't been to any.

Focusing to the likes of surfing, cycling and there was a few specifically for meeting people like

New and Not So New In Dublin

20-35 Somethin's

Dublin 20-35's Coast walks and PINTS

We'll give them a go and see how I get on I guess

dobman88 · 12-06-2021 10:49pm

smarie101 wrote: »

Same here, but i never see them again.

Thanks a million for the response YellowLead, I enjoy football and running.

I am looking for a running club in Harolds cross yet hard enough too find Re Football i have reached out but no response yet (i would assume covid related)

Thank you again.

When I read your OP I immediately thought GAA club. 24, "from the country", you'd have plenty to contribute to a team.

My own story isnt too dissimilar to yours. When I first moved, I gave it about a year to settle in. I knew absolutely nobody, only my GF. Got settled in work and all but knew nobody locally. I popped down to the GAA club one day and met the lady working at reception and she gave me the number for the clubs junior manager.

He was delighted to get me in, the lads were very welcoming and mostly everyone came over to introduce themselves. After a few trainings, the texts for astro/pints/whatever came in, then added to the WhatsApp groups and now I've a good network of regular friends with the older lads on the team. 32 now and well settled in and honestly the team made a massive difference. My Dublin geography isnt great but are you anywhere near Templeogue Synge St GAA club in Harold's cross? They always seemed like a big club to me so could have teams to suit all levels. My advice would be to ring them or pop down one evening if you can find out when training is on and talk to manager about joining. It would be a resounding yes.

Also, there is a GAA forum on here where you can ask for club recommendations. A person from St James Gaels seems quite responsive on the thread. https://touch.boards.ie/thread/2055821624/52/#post117173449

One other thing I've started doing again recently is hiking, I'm not sure if you've ever had any interest but I use a company that do guided hikes and the amount of females, single and attached of all ages is staggering but they all regularly go and I could see the camaraderie among them when I started going. I use mountain trails and they're excellent.

Jaysus that's a much longer message than I planned but I've been in your situation and the team is what helped me more than anything after moving.

LilacNails · 12-06-2021 10:55pm

Hey op

Check to see if there is a mother's and others in ur area.

Basically a group of women, some mothers some not... Alls ages... Meet up and play a get of football. It's nothing serious, well not supposed to be!. I'm hoping to join one myself to meet new people also, have heard good things.

Give it a look up, hope it works out.

smarie101 · 13-06-2021 9:06am

rounders wrote: »

I've kinda joined a bit of everything, only logged in this evening to follow a few but haven't been to any.

Focusing to the likes of surfing, cycling and there was a few specifically for meeting people like

New and Not So New In Dublin

20-35 Somethin's

Dublin 20-35's Coast walks and PINTS

We'll give them a go and see how I get on I guess

Thanks a million Rounders, sounds good. I will hit them up and see how they go.

Best of luck and thanks for taking the time to reply to my thread

shesty · 13-06-2021 9:13am

Tag rugby is also an excellent way to meet people.Season is busiest during the summer.Check out Clontarf rugby club and the pitches at Clontarf dart Station, UCD, Terenure rugby club and the sports complex at Ringsend.Leagues usually run at all of those and teams always need extra people.Loads of Facebook pages.

Dial Hard · 13-06-2021 10:07am

Sportsworld running club is literally down the road from you.

There's also Coach Approach in Templeogue. I'm sure there's loads more local to you.

Ms. Newbie18 · 13-06-2021 7:59pm

smarie101 wrote: »

Hello you good people,

24Y Female for reference

I have moved from the country to Dublin approx 2 years ago. I now live with my boyfriend in Harolds Cross. Life is somewhat good, however i have do not have any friends. Since covid i feel like i have isolated myself from others and now i am in a position where i have no one. I wouldnt have had the nicest of friends growing up and feel like it is time for a fresh start.

I am at the point where this is getting me really down and upset, my partner is always meeting up with his own friends and i am feeling somewhat lonely. I have tried Meet up and GirlCrew however i didnt feel they were great.

If anyone can suggest anything to help me this would be much appreciated

Hi OP,

Try the meet up app. Lots of choice for hobbies groups/sports and meets up. A lot of social groups set up by age top which might be more appealing.

B.A._Baracus · 17-06-2021 3:32pm

Making friends is a weird one alright. The older you get the harder it becomes.
All you can do is just put yourself out there through different things to meet new people. The harsh reality of life is that most people you meet will just be acquaintances. Ie, through jobs etc. You will only talk to each other within that environment. That's not to say people can't become friends with the aforementioned but let's be honest, majority of the time it will just be acquaintances. There's work friends - then friends.

I believe courses to be bad if you are seeking friendships as most people's agenda for being there is to learn something and not gain new friendships.
So as mentioned in this thread just try new things. Like meetup etc.
Just go in with the mentality that you'll make more acquaintances than friendships on these meet up's and you'll eventually forge something outside. But even then by going to these meet ups that can become a social outlet. For example there's plenty of guys out there who go to the local pub each week to meet up with and drink with other regulars. Their friendships are only within that environment. But it is still a social outlet.

ILoveYourVibes · 18-06-2021 8:59pm

smarie101 wrote: »

Hello you good people,

24Y Female for reference

I have moved from the country to Dublin approx 2 years ago. I now live with my boyfriend in Harolds Cross. Life is somewhat good, however i have do not have any friends. Since covid i feel like i have isolated myself from others and now i am in a position where i have no one. I wouldnt have had the nicest of friends growing up and feel like it is time for a fresh start.

I am at the point where this is getting me really down and upset, my partner is always meeting up with his own friends and i am feeling somewhat lonely. I have tried Meet up and GirlCrew however i didnt feel they were great.

If anyone can suggest anything to help me this would be much appreciated

Could you befriend neighbors?

I think just get out more ...talk to random people you meet....online seems not to work so ...

AlmightyCushion · 18-06-2021 10:30pm

rounders wrote: »

I've kinda joined a bit of everything, only logged in this evening to follow a few but haven't been to any.

Focusing to the likes of surfing, cycling and there was a few specifically for meeting people like

New and Not So New In Dublin

20-35 Somethins

Dublin 20-35's Coast walks and PINTS

We'll give them a go and see how I get on I guess

I would definitely recommend the 20 - 35 coast walk and pints meetup. I was at one of their meetups last weekend, it was great fun and the people were all sound. The only negative of it was the hangover the next day.

clothes hanger · 17-08-2021 9:22pm

0erhaps you should settle into your home first, make it a home. If possible get a Dog or a cat if you are interested in animals, you would make like minded people and having to take a dog for a walk would probably widen your social circle. It may not be for everyone but it is an idea all the same!

PoisonIvyBelle · 09-09-2021 11:28pm

I'd recommend giving GirlCrew another go, I met 3 good friends from it years ago when it started. I remember it was hit or miss and I went to 2 meetups where I just wanted to go home, but others that were great craic - it all depends on who shows up and who you gel with. They still have a Facebook page up even though it's not moderated by them anymore and it would be a good place to post and say you'd like to meet some people and maybe set up a whatsapp group - I've seen a few do that lately.

sashafierce · 10-09-2021 10:49am

Hi OP, i was in a similar boat recently and I met two of my now really good friends on bumble, the friend section. its really good and will help you find someone with similar interests

Loneliness, friend help 101

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