Workplace Christmas parties: obligation to attend?

IAMAMORON · 09-12-2019 12:06pm

Schwiiing wrote: »

I quite like the job tbh. Pay conditions and location are perfect. The only people who to go the party are the floor staff made up of degenerates and foreigners who go for the free booze, the MD and the floor managers who only go because the floor drones require non stop adult supervision. Myself and the rest of the technical staff along with the receptionists and the office staff avoid it like the plague.

I wouldn't fancy working or partying with an attitude like that. Sorry pal.

Have a good look at yourself.

IAMAMORON · 09-12-2019 12:08pm

ednwireland wrote: »

not going this year because the veggie foods cr*p in the restaurant booked, the extra upside is i dont have to partake in the secret santa sh1t either (which usually goes straight in the bin).

Mmmmm, think of the saving your making on the environment by not having to wrap up any pressies either. Vegans are soooo cool these days. :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Nift · 09-12-2019 12:14pm

blue note wrote: »

I like to see people outside of a work environment once a year at the Christmas party and to be honest judge people who don't make the effort to go. If you genuinely can't at least pop in that's different, but someone working an hour away can easily pop in for an hour or two and hop on a bus or train home after.

But for me, you're spending 40 hours a week with these people, 48 weeks of the year. I think it's nice to see them in a social setting once a year, getting to know them a bit better and sometimes it's nice reminder to everyone that you're all normal people not just the guy that fixes PCs or pays expenses or does these presentations. From a work point of view, even though it's not the point of it for me I've gotten to know people better from it and it's improved my working relationships with them.

But I remember one year a group of 4 girls in my office went for their own dinner on the night of the Christmas party. Aside from being immature, it was actually just a bit nasty. Clearly an insult to the rest of the company.

thats on the company to foster that environment. I work for google vendors and they don't give a **** about this stuff so why should employees? this is just a cop out for crap companies etc.

09-12-2019 12:27pm

Never get how people don’t make friends with people at work and like going out and having the craic with them.

Any place I’ve worked I’ve always made really good friends so much so I’d have considered them friends first and work colleagues second.

Some complaining about once a year going out where as I’d be out every week with the work crowd and really look forward to the Christmas party as it’s usually a proper big session with at least some freebies if not everything covered depending on the employer.

threetrees · 09-12-2019 1:39pm

Dj Stiggie wrote: »

I'd hate to spend ~40 hours a week with people I couldn't stand for ~3 hours socially.

Last year for New Year's my colleagues came to my house for dinner then we went to a party afterwards. Invited the owners but they had family commitments but they gave us a few bottles of booze.

We also had our staff party in January, sponsored and attended by the owners.

The main issue I'd have with this is that I pick my friends but I can't pick my colleagues. Lucky for you you seem to like all your colleagues, it's not the same for everyone.

Schwiiing · 09-12-2019 2:31pm

IAMAMORON wrote: »

I wouldn't fancy working or partying with an attitude like that. Sorry pal.

Have a good look at yourself.

What is it you reckon I should see?

m5ex9oqjawdg2i · 09-12-2019 2:35pm

Jesus christ, some of you are really miserable. Every job I have been in has had work outings and they were great craic. Great food, lots of beer/wine and tons of fun. I love going out with my work mates after, especially after a tough week.

ldy4mxonucwsq6 · 09-12-2019 2:39pm

whisky_galore wrote: »

I spent enough of the year with work colleagues I dislike, I'm damned if I have to be around them in my free time as well.

I said this to my manager once after being harrassed and pressurised into attending for days (I had no intention of going and tried initially to give a polite excuse but she wouldn't stop at me).

Took her a while to pick her jaw up off the floor but she stopped asking after that.

BeerWolf · 09-12-2019 2:41pm

Can't attend because I am back into work the following day at 4am...

Deebles McBeebles · 09-12-2019 2:43pm

Ooh, work friends! Go on ta f*ck. I have actual friends who I don't have to tip-toe around.

I won't be going, if theres any doubt remaining.

Hector Savage · 09-12-2019 2:44pm

One of my friends , he works in one of these "fun" companies - those ones with "lots of perks", "gifts for our staff" .... this year it is some fancy dress nonsense - not only is it mandatory to attend, it's mandatory to dress up !!
Can you imagine ??

pablo128 · 09-12-2019 2:46pm

A lad in our place loves to look down his nose at others. If I went on a work do with him I'd be sacked the next day. And he would have a few bruises.

Mister Vain · 09-12-2019 2:59pm

Only 8 people showed up to mine last weekend. I think thats a record. In fairness we had to pay for it ourselves. No free food or drink.

LaFuton · 09-12-2019 3:04pm

heard today that a company is liable for anything that happens anyone at a Christmas party.

its more work, enough to be dealing with these people all day, no feckin way am i goin

IAMAMORON · 09-12-2019 3:05pm

pablo128 wrote: »

A lad in our place loves to look down his nose at others. If I went on a work do with him I'd be sacked the next day. And he would have a few bruises.

Thats assuming he doesn't do a job on you ?

In my experience such urges are mutual.

IAMAMORON · 09-12-2019 3:06pm

Tis the season to be jolly.

Rx713B · 09-12-2019 3:06pm

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

I look forward to the christmas party. It happens during work time so no need to log on for the day. Some daft quiz in the morning milling about, I usually make mulled cider to share in the morning. Then off for lunch at 12 and a reserved area in a pub until 5. No obligation to attend, if you prefer to work you're welcome to do that instead.

It's usually a good day out.

This sounds like right craik

whippet · 09-12-2019 3:10pm

I really can't stand the work party - I am with the company for years but just don't enjoy them.

The company tend to go all out and it's either a fancy dinner and reserved section in a night club with free booze all night or a trip - London, Amsterdam, Galway etc ..

Its just with kids and family life the few weeks in the run up to Christmas are busy and I don't really fancy wasting a saturday or sunday hungover. And as I live out of the city it always means staying in a hotel for the night.

So the last few years I've made excuses or arrangements for the same time - last year I booked a weekend away for the family the same weekend work were flying out - I was able to make it sound like it was a coincidence. In previous years when I chose to not drink I was accused of being a boring ****e and no fun.

This year I said nothing and just drank non-alcholic beer and left about midnight - apart from my boss everyone assumed I was drinking. At the post mortem on monday morning people didn't even notice that I pissed off early - most of them had no recollection of anything past midnight.

When you have direct reports burning the ears off you about work crap these things are not fun !!

Seamai · 09-12-2019 3:13pm

ednwireland wrote: »

not going this year because the veggie foods cr*p in the restaurant booked, the extra upside is i dont have to partake in the secret santa sh1t either (which usually goes straight in the bin).

Which need nicely into a staff night out I was at in 1997, there was a joke around at the time that Elton John had rewritten "Candle in the Wind yet again as a tribute to Mother Theresa on her death and called it "Sandals in the Bin", one of my colleagues got me in the secret santa and presented me with a pair of manky sandals in a waste paper bin.

1800_Ladladlad · 09-12-2019 3:14pm

I work for a US multinational. There is nothing wrong with the choice of venue, the food or timing, they have had it in Croke Park for the past 5 years on the trot. The atmosphere in the job is dire, apart from the useful idiots on the higher tiers, this contributes to why many people will not go. Apparently the numbers have been declining each year. In my place your career progression is based on your relationship with your boss and your virtuous contribution to the department, these things could lack any sort of benefit to the department but it's better to be seen doing something or be seen saying anything rather than actually seen to be doing something constructive and saying something useful. It's all about your "brand" and not about the work you do. 1 in 4 leaves our company per year. They openly accept this but wonder why people leave (Confused Pikachu meme)

A lot of people feel unappreciated and unrewarded in the job, they are deflated mentally so the idea of spending additional time when you do not have to, is an unnecessary burden. It's not expected of you but for arbitrary reasons, it's mentally noted filed in your Inclusion folder lol :rolleyes:. Ill be gone soon so.

There is nothing wrong with not going to an Xmas party and its good time for co-workers to mingle. But outside work, I couldn't give a rats arse about 80% ope them. The people who do get along, go out for dinner or drinks outside of work. Nothing to do with work. They seem to not like us doing this cause its not inclusive. They don't get the concept of it being external. BELLENDS

ohnonotgmail · 09-12-2019 3:14pm

Hector Savage wrote: »

One of my friends , he works in one of these "fun" companies - those ones with "lots of perks", "gifts for our staff" .... this year it is some fancy dress nonsense - not only is it mandatory to attend, it's mandatory to dress up !!
Can you imagine ??

I'd rather not. sounds like my idea of hell.

Conall Cernach · 09-12-2019 3:15pm

I work in a venue where there are Christmas parties. I can't understand the appeal especially when I see fellas (it's usually fellas) full drunk by 9pm, some puking and others coked out of their minds. Why would you get like that around colleagues and superiors? Then there's the music and dancing. Such terrible music and dancing.

09-12-2019 3:15pm

ill either go or i won't

i advise anyone who is in absolute turmoil at either thought to reprioritise

20Wheel · 09-12-2019 3:21pm

If theres nothing to be gained and everything to lose just dont go.

I dodged mine there the other day. Like Bojo dodging a tv interview, i knew it definitely wasnt going to be a win.

So lesser of two evils, dodge it look a little bad rather than go and both endure awkward chat and be confirmed as an outsider.

Plus if youre not on the same page as certain people it can open the door to disaster.

One i went to i made a little off the cuff remark that was taken up by as an insult. Fair enough my bad, not my place to pass remarks.

But that was how id mess with my mates at the time, friendly jabs between us for banter. ye bollox, ye dope, haircut and clothes slagging.

This guy obviously wasnt of the same opinion.
Nice awkward dinner followed.

El_Duderino 09 · 09-12-2019 3:21pm

Mister Vain wrote: »

Only 8 people showed up to mine last weekend. I think thats a record. In fairness we had to pay for it ourselves. No free food or drink.

That’s pretty outrageous. It’s bad enough to do the Christmas party during the weekend but making you pay for it as well is a recipe for nobody showing up.

endofrainbow · 09-12-2019 3:22pm

Worked for a large organisation for 10 years - not once did I go to the main Christmas party. Always went to the Department one which was great craic as we all knew each other.

The stories we'd hear after the main event make me thankful I didn't go: Mary from Legal in tears because Jane from Sales called her a **** because they were fighting over Brian from Accounts. Then Gerry in R&D got caught in the jacks snorting a line blah blah blah

*all names have been changed to protect the innocent.

El_Duderino 09 · 09-12-2019 3:25pm

20Wheel wrote: »

If theres nothing to be gained and everything to lose just dont go.

I dodged mine there the other day. Like Bojo dodging a tv interview, i knew it definitely wasnt going to be a win.

So lesser of two evils, dodge it look a little bad rather than go and both endure awkward chat and be confirmed as an outsider.

Plus if youre not on the same page as certain people it can open the door to disaster.

One i went to i made a little off the cuff remark that was taken up by as an insult. Fair enough my bad, not my place to pass remarks.

But that was how id mess with my mates at the time, friendly jabs between us for banter. ye bollox, ye dope, haircut and clothes slagging.

This guy obviously wasnt of the same opinion.
Nice awkward dinner followed.

Haircut and clothes jokes. Be fair though, there are probably one or two good haircut or clothes jokes. The rest will just cause other people’s eyes to roll every time at yet another probably bad joke.

I suppose going to any group apart from your bezzie mates means to I have to adjust your craic a bit. It’s just part of being an adult.

Seamai · 09-12-2019 3:28pm

We were lucky for a few years we ended up having nothing as the 2 directors were on bad terms so nothing was organised, one left since but the guy that stayed on couldn't organise the proverbial "pis* up in a brewery" so they haven't happened, this year there have been mumblings from him but he's got his nose out of joint because no matter what night he suggest (and there aren't too many left) someone says they can't make it (this is on purpose) he doesn't know that a few us have a night out planned this Friday, he'd be fuming if he knew.

Ush1 · 09-12-2019 3:30pm

Some very angry people around here.

Raconteuse · 09-12-2019 3:53pm

I have no interest in going - not to be a miserable bastard for the sake of it (which I know is the preserve of some around here) but just because it's no longer of interest to me. Used to go to all work parties though. Totally a getting old thing.

Bigbagofcans · 09-12-2019 4:20pm

Raconteuse wrote: »

I have no interest in going - not to be a miserable bastard for the sake of it (which I know is the preserve of some around here) but just because it's no longer of interest to me. Used to go to all work parties though. Totally a getting old thing.

Ah now, nothing to do with age. You're either up for a party or you're not.

The best craic people at my work Christmas party were all the older staff 50/60+.

IAMAMORON · 09-12-2019 4:25pm

Ush1 wrote: »

Some very angry people around here.

An astonishing amount of bad will, I actually think half of them are trolling.

It is a free party ffs.

No one gives a phuck, even your bosses. They just want to have a laugh as well.

andekwarhola · 09-12-2019 4:30pm

Can understand why people don't want to go but the blanket dislike of colleagues is a bit weird. Can't think of anybody in my workplace that I'd dislike enough not to be able to make small talk for an hour over a drink and I find the majority of them grand to chat to. Same with the other companies I've been in.

Think somebody said it already but if you do feel like that, it's you that's the common denominator not them.

LirW · 09-12-2019 4:39pm

andekwarhola wrote: »

Can understand why people don't want to go but the blanket dislike of colleagues is a bit weird. Can't think of anybody in my workplace that I'd dislike enough not to be able to make small talk for an hour over a drink and I find the majority of them grand to chat to. Same with the other companies I've been in.

Think somebody said it already but if you do feel like that, it's you that's the common denominator not them.

I think for some it's not so much hating who they work with, it's more that after a year full of work, 40 hours a week plus travel people would much rather spend their time as they wish. I can totally see how this simply isn't the definition of fun for some.

Also some parties are a huge pissing contest of different office cliques, let's not pretend they don't exist. There is a reason why office parties are a league of their own, they can be incredibly messy and the boozing peer pressure is crazy.
As someone who doesn't drink I wouldn't be overly interested watching colleagues getting wasted (and that's the only reason why a good few people go in the first place).

political analyst · 09-12-2019 4:54pm

han2000 wrote: »

It may not be in my contract to attend but it's definitely frowned upon by management.

Last year I really didn't want to go but there's not much choice.
There are some very shy people I work with who I know would love not to attend but again not much choice.

It's all paid for though so that kind of makes up for it:D

Why would it mean so much to management for staff to go to these parties?

facehugger99 · 09-12-2019 5:00pm

Free drink and food with people I get on with - damn right I'm going.

Who would have thought the internet would have been so full of socially awkward loners

ohnonotgmail · 09-12-2019 5:04pm

facehugger99 wrote: »

Free drink and food with people I get on with - damn right I'm going.

Who would have thought the internet would have been so full of socially awkward loners

why do you assume we are socially awkward loners? I spend more with the people in work than i do with family and friends and i think that is quite enough.

AndrewJRenko · 09-12-2019 5:29pm

Mister Vain wrote: »

Only 8 people showed up to mine last weekend. I think thats a record. In fairness we had to pay for it ourselves. No free food or drink.

Try the public sector. Everyone pays for their own food. Management would generally throw €20 or €50 into a kitty to provide drinks for others.

Personally, I'll enjoy a meal and a few drinks, but I'm not going to stay all night. Just the noise levels in a busy pub with everyone having to shout everything is enough to send me home.

blue note · 09-12-2019 5:31pm

The amount of people here who are proud that they have real friends and therefore don't need work ones is quite sad to be honest. You spend 40 hours a week with these people and at least have the fact that you work in the same place in common. You can have your school friends too and your college friends, family friends, sports club friends and whatever friends you want too. But you're spending more time with these people than your wife and kids sometimes. If you can't call them work friends, you're the one who is to be pitied.

ohnonotgmail · 09-12-2019 5:38pm

blue note wrote: »

The amount of people here who are proud that they have real friends and therefore don't need work ones is quite sad to be honest. You spend 40 hours a week with these people and at least have the fact that you work in the same place in common. You can have your school friends too and your college friends, family friends, sports club friends and whatever friends you want too. But you're spending more time with these people than your wife and kids sometimes. If you can't call them work friends, you're the one who is to be pitied.

And people who make sweeping judgements about others based on very little information are to be pitied. do you see how that works?

han2000 · 09-12-2019 5:41pm

political analyst wrote: »

Why would it mean so much to management for staff to go to these parties?

Because if you don't want to go then you are implying that it is not a nice place to work, when in actual fact it is the best job in the whole wide world :rolleyes:

Huntergonzo · 09-12-2019 5:42pm

Have to say I love the christmas work outings, I generally get on very well with my colleagues and enjoy their company so naturally I enjoy going out with them (which only happens maybe 2 or 3 times a year anyway).

But I don't think there's any pressure to go out at all, I've missed night's out and it's not big deal, go if you want and don't if you don't.

CrabRevolution · 09-12-2019 5:49pm

seamus wrote: »

This is probably more of an issue for people under 25, or jobs where 95% of getting ahead is about talking to the right people rather than actually doing a good job.

I have kids, I'm in my 30s. Nobody gives it a second thought if I say I can't make it. Likewise if one of my colleagues can't make it, I'm not going to grill them. We're all big boys and girls, able to make our own decisions.

This "pressure" is not something I've ever experienced. Sure, you'll sometimes get someone who does a Mrs. Doyle on it, but I've never worked somewhere that a person was looked down on for not going to social events. The only people who get looked down on are the ones who always say they'll go but never turn up.

Probably helps that I do enjoy the odd work piss-up though. I don't do any gossiping or sh1tetalking in work, I just go in, get the head down and go home. So I find a few beers every couple of months is a good opportunity to get to know colleagues without just talking about work. I can imagine if you did a lot of chatting in work about personal lives with colleagues, the christmas party would just feel like being in work, with beer.

I always find it really strange though when people say, "I hate these bastards every day of the year, I'm not going drinking with them". I've had jobs that I disliked and stuck them out longer than I had to because the people at least were tolerable. But if I hated everyone I worked with, I'd be out of there like a shot.

When I hear it I'm always reminded of that saying; “If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.”

That's pretty much sums up what I'm thinking reading this thread.
Almost every response, to a man, has been "Nah I'm too good for that. I hate my insufferable coworkers, why would I drink with them?". But if you hate everyone so badly you're probably in the wrong job.

I like going to work Christmas parties, it's a novel environment and can feel relieving to socialise with coworkers outside the formal environment. I even get invited to and sometimes attend the Christmas party of the last place I worked, because I enjoyed their company too.

LirW · 09-12-2019 5:49pm

blue note wrote: »

The amount of people here who are proud that they have real friends and therefore don't need work ones is quite sad to be honest. You spend 40 hours a week with these people and at least have the fact that you work in the same place in common. You can have your school friends too and your college friends, family friends, sports club friends and whatever friends you want too. But you're spending more time with these people than your wife and kids sometimes. If you can't call them work friends, you're the one who is to be pitied.

See, you can't choose your colleagues, you quite literally have no say. The fact that we work together doesn't mean I have to like them. I worked in places with great people that I'd consider work friends and then I worked in places that were full of worn out people that hated their jobs and the general vibe was to keep interaction as short as possible.
Not everyone is in the fortunate position of coping well with social events or working in a place with great colleagues.

1800_Ladladlad · 09-12-2019 6:00pm

blue note wrote: »

The amount of people here who are proud that they have real friends and therefore don't need work ones is quite sad to be honest. You spend 40 hours a week with these people and at least have the fact that you work in the same place in common. You can have your school friends too and your college friends, family friends, sports club friends and whatever friends you want too. But you're spending more time with these people than your wife and kids sometimes. If you can't call them work friends, you're the one who is to be pitied.

That's a bit intense, tho I only read of one poster who mentioned external friends. I understand the sentiment behind having your full-time mates and sticking with them but I also your point invalid considering time spet with them.

I worked in retail for about 10 years and met two of my best mates through going our after work with work. I don't really do this anymore now that Im in a legitimate salary job. Let's say, I learned hard the way. Naive to trust people in my job.

you're spending more time with these people than your wife and kids sometimes

And what makes you think people even like spending time with them either

seamus · 09-12-2019 6:17pm

blue note wrote: »

If you can't call them work friends, you're the one who is to be pitied.

Friendships are usually borne out of relationships that aren't obligatory. The best test is to ask yourself whether you would still be "friends" with this person when you remove the thing you have in common. Whether that's the job, or a hobby, or the fact that you're neighbours. If that changed tomorrow, would you still meet up to just talk?

We're getting down to the nitty-gritty of the word "friend" here really. The reality is that even people who have "work friends", don't really have them. As soon as they or the "work friend" change jobs, they basically don't see eachother again.

I know people who get a new job, get into the chats, get to know eachother's lives. And then when it's all over there are a few misfired attempts to meet up. But within 24 months the friendships are gone.

This is probably why people can be largely cynical about work stuff. Because we all know that once one of us changes job we're not going to be talking again. That doesn't mean we can't have friendly chats now, but people in my experience are generally pretty guarded in work unless they've been working together for many years. Because they know the work friendship is ethereal.

So when you want to do something properly fun and get into proper sh1tetalking (or serious talking), then you'll go see your actual friends.

whisky_galore · 09-12-2019 6:20pm

Mister Vain wrote: »

Only 8 people showed up to mine last weekend. I think thats a record. In fairness we had to pay for it ourselves. No free food or drink.

You work for Scrooge and Marley?

whisky_galore · 09-12-2019 6:27pm

Antonella Gifted Stubble wrote: »

I said this to my manager once after being harrassed and pressurised into attending for days (I had no intention of going and tried initially to give a polite excuse but she wouldn't stop at me).

Took her a while to pick her jaw up off the floor but she stopped asking after that.

I don't have a problem with a small select group of colleagues for drinks, just no boss / middle management types or arseholes present.

I dislike Xmas hype, organised "fun" and late night messy drinking antics.

09-12-2019 6:36pm

seamus wrote: »

We're getting down to the nitty-gritty of the word "friend" here really. The reality is that even people who have "work friends", don't really have them. As soon as they or the "work friend" change jobs, they basically don't see eachother again.

I disagree, I've kept up many friendships after leaving jobs. One job in particular I am still very good friends with a load of people, almost daily whatsapping, meeting some at least once a month for beers. I'm even still in the whatsapp group of the team I was in (along with a few other former team members). A number were at my wedding even though I was left the job etc.

Another group of friends I have from a job whom I was very close friends with, there were 4 of us and all 3 except have moved abroad (none of them originally from Ireland). They are in different corners of the world but we still try to all meet for a monster weekend on the beer once a year at one of the locations along with almost daily whatsapping etc (2/3 flew back for my wedding also). Some of these people its many many years since we actually worked together.

Thats just a few examples.

andekwarhola · 09-12-2019 7:04pm

LirW wrote: »

I think for some it's not so much hating who they work with, it's more that after a year full of work, 40 hours a week plus travel people would much rather spend their time as they wish.

I rarely go to office things myself because I've got family stuff or around Christmas I'd have a small enough window to meet friends.

Nor would I even notice or care what others do but I just find the near-vehemence of the aversion to colleagues weird.

Most people in my current office are perfectly OK and quite a few are people I'd have no issues chatting to. This has been my general experience in different workplaces over the last 20 years.

Maybe I should just agree to disagree on this one.

Workplace Christmas parties: obligation to attend?

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