What rules would you bring in if you were dictator?

Randy Archer · 20-07-2020 11:39am

Airyfairy12 wrote: »

Free housing for anyone earning under 25k a year. Id buy up every abandoned house and building and have them renovated to make suitable homes.
Implement working from home to ease pressure on Dublin and commuter town traffic and rent prices.
Create a law that ensures every school in Ireland from playschool to post primary teach psychology, emotional intelligence and positive mental health skills.

You’d be shot Before Coronation Day.our land gentry wouldn’t have it For once we’d be begging ‘Mercia to help in over throwing a commie monster .

As for the law , sure we wouldn’t be Irish if we had emotional intelligence etc at such a young age . You think we’d have had literary greats like Joyce if we have mental health skills ? What ya want us to be ? Boring like the Swedes ?

Gloomtastic! · 20-07-2020 12:12pm

To the family that drove up to Ben of Howth yesterday, enjoyed their fish and chip dinner, chucked all the wrappings and drinks cartons out the window and then promptly added their kids' nappies to the pile, I would give cancer. :mad:

unhappys10 · 20-07-2020 12:55pm

Gloomtastic! wrote: »

To the family that drove up to Ben of Howth yesterday, enjoyed their fish and chip dinner, chucked all the wrappings and drinks cartons out the window and then promptly added their kids' nappies to the pile, I would give cancer. :mad:

You can do better than that surely. Something like Ebola maybe.

Went for a walk this morning before work and the place was littered with Supermacs wrappers.
They should be forced to eat the wrappers, a funnel stuck up their arses and the hot oil used to cook the food funnelled in. Absolute scum.

Captain Havoc · 20-07-2020 2:40pm

Double time for Sunday work, triple time for National holidays, quadruple time for Paddy's day.
Actual punishment for anyone who breaks the law, precedent to have no bearing on the length of punishment.
Anyone preying on the vulnerable to be placed in an oubliette.
Pillories to be reintroduced into all towns with a population of more than 5,000.
Paedophiles to be branded and released immediately with no protection from the law.

unhappys10 · 20-07-2020 6:03pm

If your food order is messed up the person who messed it up is locked up with no food for 2 weeks

Signore Fancy Pants · 20-07-2020 7:34pm

Signore Fancy Pants wrote: »

The introduction of "Titty Tuesday".

Women can walk around topless all day every Tuesday if they want. Anyone who does gets Friday off.

"Willy Wednesday" will not be introduced.

"Titty Tuesday" starts tomorrow people.....I hope you all come out in support.

20-07-2020 7:56pm

Any Radio or TV prix who use 'we', as if they speak on behalf of the populous,
when they're talking crap about 'working from home' or 'having a barbecue in
the garden' to be made live in an estate populated by "Shams" and "Starry Boods".

The fcukers would have to 'work from home' too - the lumpen prole neighbours; well,
no obligation on them to work. They would also be monitored to make sure they keep
the 'we output' up; and if this decreased by more than 15% over the next 2 months, then
it's similar neighbours, only now it's massive apartment block living.

See how chipper the kernts would be then :pac:

They would also have to up their 'defending of the indefensible behaviour of the marginalised' output as well; or face stricter sanctions which I'm undecided about as of yet.

kerryjack · 20-07-2020 8:31pm

I would build a big wall around kerry and keep every fuccker out of the place, cant have a quite pint in killarney irs ridiculous.

I Am Nobody · 22-07-2020 1:14am

Anyone who had more than 5 convictions would be put on a chain gang to earn money for the commissary. Cleaning up litter,painting traffic signs,etc.Their dole would be cut off and outside financial help would be banned.If they want that can of Fanta or whatever,then they have to work for it.

cj maxx · 22-07-2020 1:18am

That you can't start a thread in AH if you opened an account in the last 2 months....

riclad · 22-07-2020 10:20pm

Anyone who uses the F word on a podcast pays a fine of 5 euro to be paid to a charity, the C
word gets a 10 euro fine.
If you curse more than 5 times in 60 minutes
100 euro fine
I listen to alot of podcasts, there's usually some people who just use the f word every 5 minutes, especially on gaming podcasts.
It's random, it does,nt mean they are angry or annoyed.
There should be an app it makes every image of trump and article about him disappear from any news website.
No nurse to be allowed to work more than 10 hours per shift.
Why are nurse in A and E working 12 hour shift.
How can one have a normal life working 12 hours a day. They go home, go to sleep and then go back to another 12 hour shift.

Wanderer78 · 22-07-2020 10:27pm

riclad wrote:

Anyone who uses the F word on a podcast pays a fine of 5 euro to be paid to a charity, the C word gets a 10 euro fine. If you curse more than 5 times in 60 minutes 100 euro fine I listen to alot of podcasts, there's usually some people who just use the f word every 5 minutes, especially on gaming podcasts. It's random, it does,nt mean they are angry or annoyed. There should be an app it makes every image of trump and article about him disappear from any news website. No nurse to be allowed to work more than 10 hours per shift. Why are nurse in A and E working 12 hour shift. How can one have a normal life working 12 hours a day. They go home, go to sleep and then go back to another 12 hour shift.

Fcuk I love that fcuking word, cnut, yea I like that one to. oh we ve decided it's best to treat some of our most important workers like sh1t, not provide them with enough time off, pay, equipment, resources..... and expect them to save us when the sh1t hits the fan, we really are a fcuked up breed

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! · 23-07-2020 5:54pm

Segregate arrivals in Dublin airport into three streams.

One for EU/ EEA flights.

Another for CTA flights

Another for ex-EU flight arrivals.

The current system is ridiculous where arrivals from Donegal join the same queue as arrivals from Abu Dhabi.

All non EEA/UK citizens arriving here will be fingerprinted and photographed.

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! · 23-07-2020 5:58pm

Anyone found littering will be crucified upside down on the top of the Spire. Cover them in honey and bird seed.

Let the birds and wasps finish them off.

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! · 23-07-2020 6:00pm

Instigators of bogus personal injury claims will be burned to death over spit roast.

Wanderer78 · 23-07-2020 6:05pm

Hairy Japanese BASTARDS! wrote: »

Instigators of bogus personal injury claims will be burned to death over spit roast.

excellent stuff, free bbq

Capt'n Midnight · 23-07-2020 9:03pm

I'd outlaw ballet and circuses.

And beards. And dogs. I'd make the people eat bones instead.

And car radios and makeup and black cars.

I'd get people to buy my book and close all the libraries so they'd have to read something. And put the book on the driving test so they'd have to read and study and memorise it.

Randy Archer · 26-07-2020 3:16pm

I’d bring back gladiators fighting lions and tigers and fellow gladiators . It could be an excellent way to make the travellers community And the settled scum bags (And any dissenters to my rule ) useful. Bare knuckle fighting to the death Would be added

Randy Archer · 26-07-2020 3:19pm

Captain Havoc wrote: »

Double time for Sunday work, triple time for National holidays, quadruple time for Paddy's day.
Actual punishment for anyone who breaks the law, precedent to have no bearing on the length of punishment.
Anyone preying on the vulnerable to be placed in an oubliette.
Pillories to be reintroduced into all towns with a population of more than 5,000.
Paedophiles to be branded and released immediately with no protection from the law.

Who is going to pay that money ? Aren’t you suppose to cream off most of the taxes for yourself to build a gold place ?

Being a dictator is not about caring for your people beyond giving them a basic right to live and work

What happens if some pedos can look after themselves in a fight and go on to harm another kid ? You enabling pedos ?

I Am Nobody · 26-07-2020 7:16pm

Pedos/Rapists would be shot upon conviction.You can't rehabilitate those types regardless what the shrinks say.Murderers would have to face the family and extended family of their victim with only a spoon.While the Family are armed with swords and spears.Politicians who reneg on their promises would be kneecapped on a weekly basis.

Capt'n Midnight · 26-07-2020 8:02pm

I Am Nobody wrote: »

Politicians who reneg on their promises would be kneecapped on a weekly basis.

BAMM!

'see you next week,sir'

Randy Archer · 27-07-2020 9:28am

I Am Nobody wrote: »

Pedos/Rapists would be shot upon conviction.You can't rehabilitate those types regardless what the shrinks say.Murderers would have to face the family and extended family of their victim with only a spoon.While the Family are armed with swords and spears.Politicians who reneg on their promises would be kneecapped on a weekly basis.

Hmm, if you were a dictator, there would be zero need for politicians to make promises to the public because there wouldn’t be any elections

You’d have your own henchmen in the departments. No dictator worth their salt would tolerate the public having any say.

Unless it’s promises to you, dear leader, then they wouldn’t be getting knee capped. Be careful that you refrain from making promises yourself, you’d be giving your henchmen and the commoners notions if you break your promises

the purple tin · 27-07-2020 11:27am

Randy Archer wrote: »

Hmm, if you were a dictator, there would be zero need for politicians to make promises to the public because there wouldn’t be any elections

You’d have your own henchmen in the departments. No dictator worth their salt would tolerate the public having any say.

Unless it’s promises to you, dear leader, then they wouldn’t be getting knee capped. Be careful that you refrain from making promises yourself, you’d be giving your henchmen and the commoners notions if you break your promises

Have you ever considered a role as advisor to the Dictator, Mr Archer?

Randy Archer · 27-07-2020 11:50am

the purple tin wrote: »

Have you ever considered a role as advisor to the Dictator, Mr Archer?

Hell no. I will be Busy running my shire to the ground. I’d be a Helpful neighbouring ally , offering tips on how to rule, with style

I just read some posts of other people’s ideas ,and found them at odds with what a true great dictator would do. Democracy wouldn’t be one of them , neither would tolerating personal injury claims or any notions where commoners would go to court , bar the Court of me

cj maxx · 27-07-2020 12:07pm

A beard tax. You need to pay to have a beard, and the price goes up exponentially on length. Anyone who can't prove they already had a beard pre 2010 is just shaved and rubbed with immac.
Stupid looking fcuks !

unhappys10 · 27-07-2020 12:30pm

cj maxx wrote: »

A beard tax. You need to pay to have a beard, and the price goes up exponentially on length. Anyone who can't prove they already had a beard pre 2010 is just shaved and rubbed with immac.
Stupid looking fcuks !

It's OK, I know it's frustrating to be a smooth faced little baby man, not everyone can grow a magnificent beard, I'm sure you have other qualities which make up for your lack of masculinity.
We're here for you during these hard times.

cj maxx · 27-07-2020 12:38pm

unhappys10 wrote: »

It's OK, I know it's frustrating to be a smooth faced little baby man, not everyone can grow a magnificent beard, I'm sure you have other qualities which make up for your lack of masculinity.
We're here for you during these hard times.

Oh I'm one of those who needs to shave twice a day.
I'd cost myself a fortune if it was brought in.
Some of the hipster beards are just stupid looking.

Randy Archer · 27-07-2020 12:39pm

cj maxx wrote: »

A beard tax. You need to pay to have a beard, and the price goes up exponentially on length. Anyone who can't prove they already had a beard pre 2010 is just shaved and rubbed with immac.
Stupid looking fcuks !

Why do you have problems with real men ? Why do you have issues with true masculinity (even if it looks very YMCA )

Most great dictators have facial hair anyway

cj maxx · 27-07-2020 12:50pm

Randy Archer wrote: »

Why do you have problems with real men ? Why do you have issues with true masculinity (even if it looks very YMCA )

Most great dictators have facial hair anyway

I don't

cj maxx · 05-08-2020 10:35pm

That random FB 'friends' are NOT allowed to tag me me on posts. Posts about things in a faraway country that I don't give a sh1t about.
The penalty is 6 months without internet access !

Thelonious · 05-08-2020 10:37pm

For public sector jobs I would take away the job security and up the pay.

Get some motivated bodies in.

Boss Of Bosses · 05-08-2020 10:46pm

Remove Laziness, Scumbag and Drug Addict from the Free Travel Scheme across all modes of public transport in the country which is designed for people who really need it because of illness.
And cut the fares for the people who actually pay, ie the Workers of the world.

randd1 · 07-08-2020 11:27am

Thelonious wrote: »

For public sector jobs I would take away the job security and up the pay.

Get some motivated bodies in.

Cut the pay by 10%, and reduce it to a four day week. Keep the Flexi. Most civil servants can do their work in 4 days, and the thought of a 4 day week with keeping the flexi would have them on board with a cut. Use the inevitable upcoming recession as the reason for the cut.

And when the recession is over and they need extra numbers, introduce a program that offers two days a week to single parents rather than returning to a 5 day week.

What rules would you bring in if you were dictator?

Comments