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An apology without change is just manipulation

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  • 21-07-2019 2:35pm
    #1
    black_and_blue
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 53 ✭✭


    Would you agree with this statement?

    What makes people give an apology but their behaviour still remains the same? Is it control? They get to tell people that they apologized but they carry on with their nastiness.


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    #2
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    Absolutely. It's to make themselves feel better, not the people they have wronged. It also gives them a "licence" in their mind to carry on as they have been doing.


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    #3
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    Not necessarily.

    Don't know.

    Probably not.


    If you say so.



    Is this people or just a person? If people, I think you need to mix with a different circle of friends.


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    #4
    SlowBlowin
    Registered Users Posts: 1,884 ✭✭✭SlowBlowin


    In general, as long as they are in good health.


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    #5
    Hobosan
    Registered Users Posts: 582 ✭✭✭Hobosan


    It's a conditioned response. Completely meaningless really.


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    #6
    Tell me how
    Registered Users Posts: 21,520 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    black_and_blue wrote: »
    Would you agree with this statement?

    What makes people give an apology but their behaviour still remains the same? Is it control? They get to tell people that they apologized but they carry on with their nastiness.

    They likely think their current behavior is both acceptable and different to as it was previously, for which they apologised.

    You likely disagree. There is no answer on the internet to say who is correct. Maybe not in real life either.


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    #7
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    Tell me how wrote: »
    They likely think their current behavior is both acceptable and different to as it was previously, for which they apologised.

    You likely disagree. There is no answer on the internet to say who is correct. Maybe not in real life either.
    Ah now, if a person e.g. is psychologically abusive to their partner or family or friends, of course the OP is right.


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    #8
    Tell me how
    Registered Users Posts: 21,520 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    Gimme A Pound wrote: »
    Ah now, if a person e.g. is psychologically abusive to their partner or family or friends, of course the OP is right.

    Do you know the circumstances of which the OP is talking about?


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    #9
    ytpe2r5bxkn0c1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 32,688 ✭✭✭✭ytpe2r5bxkn0c1


    Gimme A Pound wrote: »
    Ah now, if a person e.g. is psychologically abusive to their partner or family or friends, of course the OP is right.

    That's a very specific example. The OP gave no such instance, so we can only discuss in general terms.


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    #10
    Gimme A Pound
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,482 ✭✭✭Gimme A Pound


    Tell me how wrote: »
    Do you know the circumstances of which the OP is talking about?
    They mention nastiness so I'm taking it at face value instead of doing the devil's advocate thing which isn't always necessary.

    If a person behaves dreadfully, apologises, then carries on behaving in the same manner, of course the OP's assessment is correct.


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    #11
    Tell me how
    Registered Users Posts: 21,520 ✭✭✭✭Tell me how


    Gimme A Pound wrote: »
    They mention nastiness so I'm taking it at face value instead of doing the devil's advocate thing which isn't always necessary.

    If a person behaves dreadfully, apologises, then carries on behaving in the same manner, of course the OP's assessment is correct.

    That 'nastiness' is in itself subjective.
    It could well be true (I don't know one way or another).

    You might take things at face value. There's two sides to every story.
    The first person to tell a story or ask for advice is not categorically the one telling the truth. (Again, truth is v hard found in subjective matters)


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    #12
    SlowBlowin
    Registered Users Posts: 1,884 ✭✭✭SlowBlowin


    Gimme A Pound wrote: »
    They mention nastiness so I'm taking it at face value instead of doing the devil's advocate thing which isn't always necessary.

    If a person behaves dreadfully, apologises, then carries on behaving in the same manner, of course the OP's assessment is correct.

    My grandson has ADHD and dyspraxia etc, he is often nasty, and he gets genuinely upset when he realises and apologises. Then he does it again sometime later.

    As per my previous quote if someone is in good health then I agree, otherwise no, some adults have the same issues as my grandson.

    Its not easy to deal with.


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    #13
    BeerWolf
    Registered Users Posts: 4,122 ✭✭✭BeerWolf


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15HTd4Um1m4


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    #14
    ToddyDoody
    Registered Users Posts: 4,421 ✭✭✭ToddyDoody


    black_and_blue wrote: »
    Would you agree with this statement?

    What makes people give an apology but their behaviour still remains the same? Is it control? They get to tell people that they apologized but they carry on with their nastiness.

    Behaviour isn't infinitely malleable. Who told you it was? Even a parrot can only be trained to say so many words.


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    #15
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,316 ✭✭✭nthclare


    You'd want to be either a mental health expert or have better tollerence than the average person to deal with what the op is referring to.

    You'll see it here on boards too, the same members following other members post's and trying their best to wind them up.

    Then using the same aul rubbish they probably trained themselves to do in other areas of their miserable life's, duhh well we're both into similar discussions so it's nothing personal I just happen to disagree with you now and again...

    Even though it's plain to see what's really happening is that poster just wants a power trip, probably very low self-esteem issues too...


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    #16
    s7ryf3925pivug
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,007 ✭✭✭s7ryf3925pivug


    not necessarily, people aren't perfect, this is a very judgmental attitude if applied absolutely.

    I should eat better, sleep more, exercise more. I don't because I'm not perfect. I don't do wrong to people deliberately so when I have something to apologize for it's due to thoughtlessness rather than malice. I'm reasonably likely to be thoughtless in the same way again because I'm not perfect. Doesn't invalidate an apology or mean it's deliberate.


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    #17
    coffee_cake
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Politics Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    "sorry you're offended"


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    #18
    savian kohan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1 ✭savian kohan


    i never apologize. I'm sorry but that's just the way i am


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    #19
    JustAThought
    Registered Users Posts: 5,323 ✭✭✭JustAThought


    The OP's original sentence should be posted to every judge in the country. And start whith the one who let Mrs 645 Previous Convictions off with another chance.

    How can this have ever be allowed to get so far?

    And how can we be paying free legal aid for ALL these court cases while the judges fawn over them and set them free.

    Where are our public expenditure reform TD's and anyalists - or are they all on the swing with Bailey?


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