Last meal

Kylta · 21-10-2020 8:43am #1

You are to be executed tonight. So being a decent guy I've given you a last meal.
You can have a starter, a dinner and a desert, no alcohol thats taking advantage of my generosity.
Oh and no ordering 30 deep fat fried chickens in order to have a coronary. I won't be denied my executions.

So my soon to be dead friend
Place your order

893bet · 21-10-2020 8:54am

For starter I would have Georgia Salpa,
Main course Emily Ratajkowski
Dessert... Halle Berry.

Would need to be 24 hour meal as I am not as young as I used to be.

Edgware · 21-10-2020 9:04am

893bet wrote: »

For starter I would have Georgia Salpa,
Main course Emily Ratajkowski
Dessert... Halle Berry.

Would need to be 24 hour meal as I am not as young as I used to be.

Excellent choice but would Sir not consider some mature tasting menu, Twink, Miriam O Callaghan, or even Priti Patel.
I would happily go to the electric chair if I knew my last act was to shoot a load over that Tory bitch's face.

Kylta · 21-10-2020 9:12am

Edgware wrote: »

Excellent choice but would Sir not consider some mature tasting menu, Twink, Miriam O Callaghan, or even Priti Patel.
I would happily go to the electric chair if I knew my last act was to shoot a load over that Tory bitch's face.

Nope im assigning you arlene foster, theresa may,and joan burton. Thats your horn dead.
Oooh matron

Edgware · 21-10-2020 9:16am

Kylta wrote: »

Nope im assigning you arlene foster, theresa may,and joan burton. Thats your horn dead.
Oooh matron

The difficulty would be choosing the order. Arlene would be grating on the ears so I would have to come up ( Ooooh Vicar!) with something to keep her mouth quiet.

893bet · 21-10-2020 9:39am

Arlene would need to be first to ensure she gets the full and first lumpy load.

banie01 · 21-10-2020 9:41am

893bet wrote: »

Arlene would need to be first to ensure she gets the full and first lumpy load.

Lewis_Benson · 21-10-2020 9:42am

Kylta wrote: »

You are to be executed tonight. So being a decent guy I've given you a last meal.
You can have a starter, a dinner and a desert, no alcohol thats taking advantage of my generosity.
Oh and no ordering 30 deep fat fried chickens in order to have a coronary. I won't be denied my executions.

So my soon to be dead friend
Place your order

Wait, what?
What am I being executed for?

banie01 · 21-10-2020 9:48am

For my last meal...
To start a charcuturie platter.
Mains would be a rare Chateaubriand with copious amounts of dauphinous and chipped potatoes.
Dessert, well as alcohol is off the menu...

I'd have to go with brownies and whipped ice cream.

For my last orgy

Cindy Crawford, the wee lass from Tyrone who worked in Quin's in the late 90's and Ana De Armas!

Xtrail14 · 21-10-2020 9:51am

893bet wrote: »

Arlene would need to be first to ensure she gets the full and first lumpy load.

She would kango the floor for pipe.

Kylta · 21-10-2020 3:52pm

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

Wait, what?
What am I being executed for?

For posting on boards

21-10-2020 3:57pm

Fish and Chips from an Italian chipper in Dublin. Bottle of club orange to wash it down.

No starter or dessert for me, that would be enough.

Oh, and loads of salt and vinegar.

corner of hells · 21-10-2020 4:30pm

A big bowl of stuffing , a plate of brussel sprouts and a packet of senokot.

I'd refuse to be executed before my last ****e.

I'd give them something to clean up afterwards.

Degag · 21-10-2020 7:16pm

Reckon i may not be in the mood to eat....

Greyfox · 21-10-2020 7:25pm

Battered sausages with curry sause for a starter
Spice bag, chicken balls and curry sause for main course and black forrest cake with tea for dessert.

Seamai · 21-10-2020 7:28pm

Edgware wrote: »

Excellent choice but would Sir not consider some mature tasting menu, Twink, Miriam O Callaghan, or even Priti Patel.
I would happily go to the electric chair if I knew my last act was to shoot a load over that Tory bitch's face.

I'd say Patel would give you the mother of all reflux attacks, not a nice way to spend you're last few hours.

JohnnyFlash · 21-10-2020 8:22pm

Shellfish platter for starters.

Then roast duck with roast potatoes.

A cheeseboard to finish.

12 cans of Guinness.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts · 21-10-2020 8:49pm

Fried chicken, mash, skinny chips and gravy. Feck vegetables.

Then rhubarb pie/crumble agus custard.

Potential-Monke · 21-10-2020 9:26pm

Starters would be a combo board of Vol-au-Vents and ribs. Mains would have to be mammys bacon and cabbage. Dessert would be sticky toffee pudding (NO DATES!) and ice-cream.

And as long as I could go with lad in hand, I'd be happy then.

Bunnypaws · 21-10-2020 9:38pm

Garlic mushrooms
Beans on chips and
A brunch

21-10-2020 9:40pm

Goujons for all 3 courses. The nice processed ones and not squirty stringy “real” chicken.

salamiii · 21-10-2020 9:44pm

all 13

https://www.insider.com/dangerous-foods-2017-8

SineadSpears · 22-10-2020 4:38am

Starters: I'll have falafels, hummus, tabbouleh, & pickled veg
Main: Christmas dinner with all the trimmings (extra veg & a bucket of gravy)
Dessert: Coffee & two Ferrero Rochers for the nostalgia

FGR · 22-10-2020 4:52am

Starters would be something light like vegetable soup but with a lot of bread. Main would be likely a fillet steak with veg and sauteed potatoes. I'm not a dessert kind of guy so wouldn't worry too much about that.

As soon as I put down the fork I'll then appeal to the supreme court seeking a stay on all executions to determine whether they are an essential service during these turbulent times.

And from that enjoy living at the OPs expense for years to come !

Might possibly get compo out of it too..

22-10-2020 8:21am

ReginaldSmythV wrote: »

Goujons for all 3 courses. The nice processed ones and not squirty stringy “real” chicken.

"real"

Badly Drunk Boy · 22-10-2020 8:52am

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Shellfish platter for starters.

Then roast duck with roast potatoes.

A cheeseboard to finish.

12 cans of Guinness.

Apart from the fact that the OP said no alcohol...there's a shortage of widgets for the cans of Guinness at the moment!!!

COVID · 22-10-2020 9:41am

Ham sandwich. Diet Coke. Apple.

22-10-2020 9:43am

COVID wrote: »

Ham sandwich. Diet Coke. Apple.

I don't think they have Tesco Meal Deals on Death Row

COVID · 22-10-2020 9:48am

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't think they have Tesco Meal Deals on Death Row

Whyever not?

22-10-2020 11:06am

COVID wrote: »

Whyever not?

No crime can be bad enough that you would have an apple with your last meal!

SineadSpears · 22-10-2020 6:52pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I don't think they have Tesco Meal Deals on Death Row

It's probably all the budget would allow for:P

victor8600 · 22-10-2020 6:57pm

Kylta wrote: »

You can have a starter, a dinner and a desert, ....

A loaded revolver for the starter.
A helicopter for the main course.
A letter of pardon for the dessert.

22-10-2020 7:12pm

victor8600 wrote: »

A loaded revolver for the starter.
A helicopter for the main course.
A letter of pardon for the dessert.

Why not have something nice to eat before your letter of pardon dessert?

Alejandro68 · 22-10-2020 7:21pm

Starter: Mushrooms and bacon pieces cooked in a wine sauce.
Mains:Filet mignon with pan fried carrots, parsnips, and snow peas.
Dessert: Chocolate covered strawberries.

fonecrusher1 · 22-10-2020 7:32pm

Spice bungo and chips. Can't beat it.

Edgware · 22-10-2020 9:37pm

Never mind what I'd like to eat maybe Michelle Pfeiffer eating me would be a good way to go

Oink · 22-10-2020 9:52pm

Chollo kebabs dripping in garlic sauce, warden. Loads of them and keep them coming.

I want the audience to smell the beef when I’m frying. It’ll be like smellovision.

EDIT:

banie01 wrote: »

[...] the wee lass from Tyrone who worked in Quin's in the late 90's

I’ll have her as well. BEFORE Banie. You can have my sloppy seconds. HA!

22-10-2020 10:23pm

Fozzie Bear · 22-10-2020 10:38pm

Back in the 80's my mother would often make chicken marylands from scratch for the Sunday / after mass dinner. There would be slices and heels of loaf bread left on an enamel plate, on the range in the kitchen all week long so they would dry out. Then Sunday morn they would be broken up with a rolling pin to make crumbs, chicken brests would be covered in egg, then the bread crumbs and onto the frying pan. That, creamy mashed spuds, along with batchelors tinned beans and peas would be my last meal, followed by jelly and ice cream. The taste of my long gone childhood on an average Sunday afternoon...

Sorry OP I've no idea how the hell you would be able to get that meal though. Would that mean the execution couldn't go ahead :pac:

2lazytogetup · 22-10-2020 11:16pm

3 day old homemade lasagne with loads of red wine.

food quality is overrated. more important the location and the people you are dining with. i never judge restaurants on quality, of food. location,

my last meal would be overlooking the sea, a jazz band. with a room full of hookers and coke waiting for me.

id say the last meal would be such a downer. eating it on death row in a bright white wall room on a metal table, that probably is cold, took an hour to get from the takeaway through the guards. and the high fat element would just make you feel bloated afterwards. still probably better than the slop they normally get in max security prisons.

2lazytogetup · 22-10-2020 11:18pm

Edgware wrote: »

Never mind what I'd like to eat maybe Michelle Pfeiffer eating me would be a good way to go

would you ask her to take out her false teeth. she must be about 70yrs old at this stage.

PARlance · 22-10-2020 11:20pm

Degag wrote: »

Reckon i may not be in the mood to eat....

You better or you'll go to dead hungry

uch · 23-10-2020 1:30am

You my daft friend obviosly haven't heard that I like Cake, and I will have nothing less you fool, now for a last meal it would probably have to be an argentian custard & truffle cake, best served with lemon curd and walnuts please

pockets3d · 23-10-2020 1:41am

One of those magic boxes from takeways.
Donner meat, chips. pakora chicken , goujons, bhajis , onion rings and battered sausages to fill their largest pizza box.
Industrial bucket of curry sauce.
If im going to hell i want them to smell me coming.

Kaybaykwah · 23-10-2020 1:44am

Fozzie Bear wrote: »

Back in the 80's my mother would often make chicken marylands from scratch for the Sunday / after mass dinner. There would be slices and heels of loaf bread left on an enamel plate, on the range in the kitchen all week long so they would dry out. Then Sunday morn they would be broken up with a rolling pin to make crumbs, chicken brests would be covered in egg, then the bread crumbs and onto the frying pan. That, creamy mashed spuds, along with batchelors tinned beans and peas would be my last meal, followed by jelly and ice cream. The taste of my long gone childhood on an average Sunday afternoon...

Sorry OP I've no idea how the hell you would be able to get that meal though. Would that mean the execution couldn't go ahead :pac:

I think you're just spinning a sob story about your childhood, in the hope we acquit you. No way, you're frying!

pockets3d · 23-10-2020 1:49am

2lazytogetup wrote: »

3 day old homemade lasagne with loads of red wine.

food quality is overrated. more important the location and the people you are dining with. i never judge restaurants on quality, of food. location,

my last meal would be overlooking the sea, a jazz band. with a room full of hookers and coke waiting for me.

id say the last meal would be such a downer. eating it on death row in a bright white wall room on a metal table, that probably is cold, took an hour to get from the takeaway through the guards. and the high fat element would just make you feel bloated afterwards. still probably better than the slop they normally get in max security prisons.

You don't get to choose the location. Its death row mate, nothing but you, your meal and the rapes and shanks echoing from general population.

PTH2009 · 23-10-2020 2:01am

I'd go all out and make it worth it

Starter- Chicken Pate on crusty bread and a few mini chicken vol au vents

Main- Large McDonald's Fries with 3 Pieces of KFC and a large bowl of cocktail sausages

Desert- Malteser Cheesecake and a large tub of Caramel Ice Cream.

Drink- 2L Bottle of Pepsi

Kylta · 23-10-2020 8:15am

Edgware wrote: »

Never mind what I'd like to eat maybe Michelle Pfeiffer eating me would be a good way to go

Go on then (Ooh governor)

Kaybaykwah · 25-10-2020 4:33am

A tall glass of warm water,
A bowl of barely cooked white rice,
and a sachet of cheap mustard.

For dessert, a couple of dried prunes.

Last meal

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