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Use of the word "f*ggot" as a generic insult in schools growing up

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  • 20-06-2020 6:54pm
    #1
    coinop
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 315 ✭✭


    I went to an all-boys secondary school where a tough guy, macho culture was prevalent. I'm sure many of you did too. The boys would call each other f*ggots 20 times before classes even began at 9am. Sometimes it was used jovially among friends as gentle ribbing, other times it was used with malice to provoke a fight. It wasn't always used with the implication that the target was a homosexual or soft. Often "don't be a f*ggot" was used interchangeably with "don't be a d*ck". The word seems to be more taboo these days as being openly homosexual is more accepted by society.

    For the younger readers: am I correct that the casual use of the word has fallen out of favour among your peer group? Would a friend using it be called out?

    Older readers: was your school similar to mine with liberal use of the word f*ggot? Did any of your classmates come out as gay years later and did you feel guilty? Perhaps you still use it among friend albeit not maliciously.


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    #2
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Grand evening for a spot of fishing.


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    #3
    Macytoby
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 98 ✭✭Macytoby


    coinop wrote: »
    I went to an all-boys secondary school where a tough guy, macho culture was prevalent. I'm sure many of you did too. The boys would call each other f*ggots 20 times before classes even began at 9am. Sometimes it was used jovially among friends as gentle ribbing, other times it was used with malice to provoke a fight. It wasn't always used with the implication that the target was a homosexual or soft. Often "don't be a f*ggot" was used interchangeably with "don't be a d*ck". The word seems to be more taboo these days as being openly homosexual is more accepted by society.

    For the younger readers: am I correct that the casual use of the word has fallen out of favour among your peer group? Would a friend using it be called out?

    Older readers: was your school similar to mine with liberal use of the word f*ggot? Did any of your classmates come out as gay years later and did you feel guilty? Perhaps you still use it among friend albeit not maliciously.

    Pretty much the equivalent of saying the n word now.


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    #4
    jrosen
    Registered Users Posts: 1,629 ✭✭✭jrosen


    The word had been swapped for gay amongst younger kids.


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    #5
    banie01
    Registered Users Posts: 16,513 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    jrosen wrote: »
    The word had been swapped for gay amongst younger kids.

    That's just gaaaaaaa-heeeeeeeeey!


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    #6
    tdf7187
    Registered Users Posts: 1,597 ✭✭✭tdf7187


    Dire Straits' "Money For Nothing" can be blamed for popularising the word in the eighties. Ironically, the lead singer later died of AIDs.


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    #7
    moonlighting_1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 135 ✭✭moonlighting_1


    I hear from the hip kids these days its a cooler insult to call someone a simp.


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    #8
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,559 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    tdf7187 wrote: »
    Dire Straits' "Money For Nothing" can be blamed for popularising the word in the eighties. Ironically, the lead singer later died of AIDs.

    Mark Knopfler isn’t dead.

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



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    #9
    Edgware
    Registered Users Posts: 5,875 ✭✭✭Edgware


    Fat **** covered a multitude


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    #10
    posturingpat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,722 ✭✭✭posturingpat


    ******, queer, your mother.
    Yeah that was basically the vocabulary for first 3 years in secondary school.
    I think there was a stage where we said jaysis I'd rape her if we found a girl attractive. Sound like we were a bit insane looking back but that was pretty much every lad in a run of the mill school 15-20 years ago :eek:


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    #11
    coinop
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 315 ✭✭coinop


    posturingpat wrote: »
    I think there was a stage where we said jaysis I'd rape her if we found a girl attractive.

    Wow...how is a girl supposed to react to that? "Thank you, I'm flattered you consider me attractive enough to rape me. Glad I made the cut". Young lads with their under-developed brains probably didn't even understand what they were saying. A lot of it is imitation and copying what they hear the other lads say. I'd like to think boys grow out of it but the Whatspp messages revelations of "lads banter" during the Paddy Jackson case doesn't fill me with confidence.


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    #12
    cj maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 13,446 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx


    tdf7187 wrote: »
    Dire Straits' "Money For Nothing" can be blamed for popularising the word in the eighties. Ironically, the lead singer later died of AIDs.

    I think Mark Knoffler is alive and well with his wife and family !


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    #13
    Potential-Monke
    Registered Users Posts: 13,832 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    coinop wrote: »
    Wow...how is a girl supposed to react to that? "Thank you, I'm flattered you consider me attractive enough to rape me. Glad I made the cut". Young lads with their under-developed brains probably didn't even understand what they were saying. A lot of it is imitation and copying what they hear the other lads say. I'd like to think boys grow out of it but the Whatspp messages revelations of "lads banter" during the Paddy Jackson case doesn't fill me with confidence.

    Of course they didn't realise what they were saying. Kids in the 90's weren't as 'woke' for a variety of reasons, and stuff like that was said the whole time. I think that particular phrase has been replaced with 'I'd do time for her'. Never actually said to the girl in question though, only to the lads. We thought of it as a compliment, but (for me anyway) the actual act wouldn't even cross my mind.

    Those insults (OP's et al) were all used without knowing the full impact of it. All we knew was it was bad but that made it cool or edgy to say with the lads. In my school it was quite used. We knew it meant gay, but I actually don't know anyone who said it with the actual intent behind more, more of a jibe to get a rise, knowing full well they'd go off on one defending their straightness, and usually ended up with 'I fuked your mother' comments. Never used the N word towards someone, because there was no black person in our school (is that the acceptable term these days?)

    We all grew out of it pretty quickly once getting into real life. But like anything, there are those who take longer, and didn't scientists come out and say men are basically teens into their late 20s? Might explain the rugby lads a small bit.


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    #14
    kingtiger
    Registered Users Posts: 1,740 ✭✭✭kingtiger


    tdf7187 wrote: »
    Dire Straits' "Money For Nothing" can be blamed for popularising the word in the eighties. Ironically, the lead singer later died of AIDs.

    :D

    so much wrong with that statement, ignoring that Mark Knopfler is still very much alive


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    #15
    PsychoPete
    Registered Users Posts: 8,615 ✭✭✭PsychoPete


    giphy.gif?cid=82a1493bca068a35b8005ee695e2c000cb77eaed8793084e&rid=giphy.gif


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    #16
    Hego Damask
    Registered Users Posts: 842 ✭✭✭Hego Damask


    posturingpat wrote: »
    ******, queer, your mother.
    Yeah that was basically the vocabulary for first 3 years in secondary school.
    I think there was a stage where we said jaysis I'd rape her if we found a girl attractive. Sound like we were a bit insane looking back but that was pretty much every lad in a run of the mill school 15-20 years ago :eek:

    :eek: never heard that to be honest, I was in school in late 90s...


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    #17
    SCOOP 64
    Registered Users Posts: 5,226 ✭✭✭SCOOP 64


    Use to love F*ggots


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    #18
    jill_valentine
    Registered Users Posts: 7,090 ✭✭✭jill_valentine


    jrosen wrote: »
    The word had been swapped for gay amongst younger kids.

    You know what's mad, I could swear that had almost died out when South Park came along and suddenly all the kids I knew started saying it.


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    #19
    r93kaey5p2izun
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,962 ✭✭✭r93kaey5p2izun


    I attended an all girls school until 5th Year and it was not in use. Perhaps unsurprisingly. I attended two mixed schools for LC and it was in common use as "banter" among the boys in the private boarding school.

    As a teacher in a mixed DEIS school over the past decade or so, I have only heard it a couple of times, both times as an insult from boys from a certain background. It was considered unacceptable by the wider student body, even among the lads with the Moncler jackets who were frequently searched by Gardai at the school gate.
    tdf7187 wrote: »
    Dire Straits' "Money For Nothing" can be blamed for popularising the word in the eighties. Ironically, the lead singer later died of AIDs.

    What a load of bollox!


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    #20
    ronivek
    Registered Users Posts: 1,916 ✭✭✭ronivek


    Young, dumb lads generally don’t think too hard about the words they use with each other. There were plenty of words used interchangeably to mean “something bad”. Words were generally chosen by virtue of how much we were told not to use them.

    The only actual stereotyping in terms of meaning behind words I’ve ever come across were:

    fag, queer, gay: sometimes used to claim someone wasn’t manly or masculine.
    Jew: sometimes used to claim someone was being stingy for not sharing their whatever.
    Knacker: usually someone who does something unpleasant such as eating off the ground or maybe smelling bad.
    Spa, spastic: usually someone saying something perceived to be stupid

    The n-word was used as a kind of “friendly banter” filler for the most part. I don’t remember ever hearing it used in the presence of or towards anyone who was actually black. ****** was also used in this manner quite a bit.

    The rape thing was a genuine compliment; as in a woman so attractive you’d somehow be unable to control yourself in her presence. I don’t think anyone really thought too hard about it’s appropriateness or ever meant it literally.

    I’m sure different people will have different experiences but those are my recollections from the 90s primarily.


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    #21
    Church on Tuesday
    Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    coinop wrote: »
    Wow...how is a girl supposed to react to that? "Thank you, I'm flattered you consider me attractive enough to rape me. Glad I made the cut". Young lads with their under-developed brains probably didn't even understand what they were saying. A lot of it is imitation and copying what they hear the other lads say. I'd like to think boys grow out of it but the Whatspp messages revelations of "lads banter" during the Paddy Jackson case doesn't fill me with confidence.

    Yes, all men at any age are uncouth cretins.


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    #22
    whisky_galore
    Registered Users Posts: 15,808 ✭✭✭✭whisky_galore


    Spastic, spa, retard, ******, fag, knacker, pavee all common then even in national school. Kids don't think about what words they use when hurling insults. No mobiles recording anything either.

    N word, rarely if ever. Mainly because there weren't any black kids anywhere. Heard older adults using n word, wog, alright.


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    #23
    gmisk
    Registered Users Posts: 31,973 ✭✭✭✭gmisk


    Thankfully I think it is starting to die out.
    It's a really f#ckng horrible term imo.


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    #24
    Baggly
    Registered Users Posts: 35,024 ✭✭✭✭Baggly


    Mod

    Thread closed for review before a host of our valued posters get themselves banned.


This discussion has been closed.
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