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Suffering from severe and violent bouts of flatulence

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  • 01-01-2018 1:21am
    #1
    um7y1h83ge06nx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,029 ✭✭✭


    Lads I'm suffering, had a good beef dinner washed down with some wine and Guinness. Possibility I may blow a second hole in my arse. Any tips?


Comments

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    #2
    Specialun
    Registered Users Posts: 3,068 ✭✭✭Specialun


    happy new year to all in your place


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    #3
    davyboy1975
    Registered Users Posts: 781 ✭✭✭davyboy1975


    New year fireworks


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    #4
    myshirt
    Registered Users Posts: 5,245 ✭✭✭myshirt


    Well you are asking for it then op aren't you. There was a woman killed via a bad Guinness fart less than 10 years ago.


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    #5
    um7y1h83ge06nx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,029 ✭✭✭um7y1h83ge06nx


    Specialun wrote: »
    happy new year to all in your place

    I know, trying hard to prevent collateral damage. All civilian deaths will be greatly regretted.


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    #6
    weiland79
    Registered Users Posts: 3,307 ✭✭✭weiland79


    Make sure when you do one in bed later you get your head under the duvet.


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    #7
    splinter65
    Registered Users Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    Adan Tart Sieve wrote: »
    Lads I'm suffering, had a good beef dinner washed down with some wine and Guinness. Possibility I may blow a second hole in my arse. Any tips?

    Billy Connolly’s tip is never trust a fart .


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    #8
    myshirt
    Registered Users Posts: 5,245 ✭✭✭myshirt


    weiland79 wrote: »
    Make sure when you do one in bed later you get your head under the duvet.

    Yes, and put the wife's head under the covers for comedic effect. Funny at one stage, but a lady was killed when her husband unwittingly created a tight seal putting the blanket over her head. A Dutch oven gone very wrong.


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    #9
    Bonzo Delaney
    Registered Users Posts: 1,577 ✭✭✭Bonzo Delaney


    A Dutch oven I think it's called
    Anyway happy New year ****ers


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    #10
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Why suffer
    Just enjoy the ride


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    #11
    um7y1h83ge06nx
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,029 ✭✭✭um7y1h83ge06nx


    weiland79 wrote: »
    Make sure when you do one in bed later you get your head under the duvet.

    Just like Ready Brek, central heating for kids!


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    #12
    Kristopherus
    Registered Users Posts: 11,907 ✭✭✭✭Kristopherus


    And a Farting New Year to you ,OP.


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    #13
    me_irl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,400 ✭✭✭me_irl


    Shove confetti in there and stick your ar$e in the air.

    Fart it around like you just don't care.


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    #14
    JenovaProject
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,299 ✭✭✭JenovaProject


    Thoughts and prayers OP


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    #15
    L.Jenkins
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 19,240 Mod ✭✭✭✭L.Jenkins


    OP reminds me of this:

    UNuywnP.jpg


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    #16
    the_pen_turner
    Registered Users Posts: 7,506 ✭✭✭the_pen_turner


    great username . very apt


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    #17
    cassid
    Registered Users Posts: 811 ✭✭✭cassid


    If you have no peppermint or meds in the house then just boil some water, let it cool a little and sip it until it is all gone. It takes down swelling and settles your tummy. Farting is good, at least you are getting it out


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    #18
    Hector Savage
    Registered Users Posts: 8,810 ✭✭✭Hector Savage


    myshirt wrote: »
    Yes, and put the wife's head under the covers for comedic effect. Funny at one stage, but a lady was killed when her husband unwittingly created a tight seal putting the blanket over her head. A Dutch oven gone very wrong.

    What ??

    Really ?

    http://www.ronsonwriter.com/content/view/69/9/

    seems its a parody ..


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    #19
    mojesius
    Registered Users Posts: 4,324 ✭✭✭mojesius


    Eat some prunes.


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    #20
    Oldtree
    Registered Users Posts: 8,104 ✭✭✭Oldtree


    splinter65 wrote: »
    Billy Connolly’s tip is never trust a fart .

    No truer words ever spoken ;)


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    #21
    Don Kiddick
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,080 ✭✭✭Don Kiddick


    Stick a child's nappy down the back of your pants ..don't ask questions...just listen to the voice of experience...
    Happy New Year !


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    #22
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    is ok everyone has a big blow-out on new years eve


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    #23
    RobertKK
    Registered Users Posts: 33,730 ✭✭✭✭RobertKK


    Happy New Year, you will have a gas time this year :)


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    #24
    Beanntraigheach
    Registered Users Posts: 789 ✭✭✭Beanntraigheach


    Get yourself a garden hose.
    Feed one end out through a window opened just wide enough for the purpose, securing it with duct tape, then insert the other end firmly up your anus.
    Now you can fart the night away in comfort, free from any concern of a malodourous assault upon your nostils.
    Thank me later.


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    #25
    Major Lovechild
    Registered Users Posts: 491 ✭✭Major Lovechild


    A kite is good for wind.

    Wo ist die Gemütlichkeit?



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    #26
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users Posts: 18,093 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    No beans for you. Come back 1 year.


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    #27
    Dakota Dan
    Registered Users Posts: 3,761 ✭✭✭Dakota Dan


    myshirt wrote: »
    Yes, and put the wife's head under the covers for comedic effect. Funny at one stage, but a lady was killed when her husband unwittingly created a tight seal putting the blanket over her head. A Dutch oven gone very wrong.

    Have you a link for that?
    Just found it.
    http://www.ronsonwriter.com/content/view/69/9/


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