The Off-Topic, insult, picture and everything else thread

donvito99 wrote: »

Also, do you decide what your going to wear before you go out on the beat? Eg, I always see the pair of guards with the exact same uniform on ie. hi viz and hi viz or fleece and fleece.?

"Whatcha wearin tonight, Nog?"

"Dunno Deadwood, lets go with the community policing look. I hear Lugs Brannigan is making a comeback"

"Cool, Nog. Tunic and shiny shoes, so. Karlito...i mean ERU won't like it, he spent a fortune on all that gear!"

I remember a few years ago, one of these sites was launched to the outrage of some members on the public. Needless to say, they bypassed the Minister for Justice, RSA, Commissioner and T.D.'s and went to the real mover and shaker - they "Talked to Joe!"

Anyway, the person who ran the site was on defending it. When someone from the Press office came on, he roundly welcomed the site as this meant this would make people drive more carefully at these locations so the site was doing the guards work for them - saving lives!

I know of some (un?)scrupulous guards who pile on loctions to this site too!

Does anyone recognise themselves here???:P


4 STAGES OF POLICING


1.FASCINATION STAGE
Years 1 – 4



2.HOSTILITY STAGE
Years 5 – 6


They now show up for work about 2 minutes before their shift, and they are hiding about 30 minutes before end of the shift, writing reports
so they can just throw them in the sergeant's
in-box and leave ASAP. They have to get to their second job to earn money to pay for the divorce that is pending. They gripe about everything, drink excessively, chase women, and hate the public, politicians, media, etc. They feel they
have more in common with the hookers, thieves, druggies, etc. but hate them too.
Those pens that write in the rain are no longer
needed. Writing traffic tickets can be a
lot more trouble than they are worth, even on a
nice day.
To write one, or to write anything
while standing in the rain, is a sure sign of an
insane person. Their spouse is no longer
interested in hearing about all the gore and
heartache. They get the "you spend more time
with the cops than you do with me" speech.




3. SUPERIORITY STAGE
Years 7 – 15


This is when cops are at their best... They have
survived changes in administration. They know
how the political game is played, both inside
and outside the job. They know who they can
trust and who they can't. They have select
friends within the job, and stay away, as best
they can, from the nuts and boot-lickers. They
know the legal system, the judges, prosecutors,
defence solicitors, etc. They know how to
testify and put a good case together. They are
usually the ones that the gaffers turn to when
there is some clandestine request or sensitive
operation that needs to be done right. These
cops are still physically fit and can handle
themselves on the street. They will stay around
the station when needed, but have other
commitments, such as a second spouse, a second
girlfriend (sometimes both), and most of their
friends are non job.


4. ACCEPTANCE STAGE
Years 16 - ????


Now the cops have a single objective... retirement
and pension. Nothing is going to come between
them and their monthly payslip. The boss, the
force, the idiots around the station, and the
creeps on the street can all go to hell,
because they could come between them and
"sitting on the beach". There is no topic of
discussion that can't somehow lead back to
retirement issues. These guys are usually
sergeants, detectives, scenes of crime officers,
community, or some other post where they will
not be endangered. They especially don't want
some young stupid cop getting them sued, fired,
killed, or anything else causing them to lose
their "beach time". They spend a lot of time
having coffee, hanging around the station, and
looking at brochures of things they want to do
in retirement.

The retired cop usually dies within five years of
retirement, saving the force a bunch of money.
Of course, nothing is ever 100% true, but if you
are a cop, were a cop, know a cop, then you will
certainly recognize some of the above
statements!!!!

Thanks eroo, missed that one!