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yet another sexist joke...

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  • 02-07-1999 10:02am
    #1
    LoLth
    Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 10,339 Mod ✭✭✭✭


    actually, Gand, how about splitting this board into topics. Like, a 'sexist humour' topic that all jokes about gender etc would be posted to? just a thought....

    Hazardous Materials Information Sheet

    ELEMENT: Women
    SYMBOL: Wo
    DISCOVERER: Adam
    ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from 40-200kg
    OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas
    PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

    * Surface usually covered in painted film
    * Boils at nothing; freezes without known reason
    * Melts if given special treatment
    * Bitter if incorrectly used
    * Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore
    * Yields if pressure applied in correct places

    CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

    * Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious
    stones
    * Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances
    * May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no apparent
    reason
    * Insoluble in liquids, but actively increases greatly in
    saturation of alcohol
    * Most powerful money reducing agent known to man

    COMMON USES:

    * Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars
    * Can be a great aid to relaxation
    * Very effective cleaning agent

    TESTS:

    * Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in the natural
    state
    * Turns green when placed beside a betta specimen

    HAZARDS:

    * Highly dangerous except in experienced hands
    * Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be
    maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come
    into direct contact with each other

    smile.gif


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    #2
    gandalf
    Registered Users Posts: 26,458 ✭✭✭✭gandalf


    Lolth I don't think splittin the board would be a good idea. Just make sure your heading has something to do with your post sunglasses.gif

    Gandalf.


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    #3
    Hobbes
    Registered Users Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭Hobbes


    Just to keep this politically correct...


    Element: MAN

    Symbol: XY

    Atomic Weight: 180+/-100

    Physical Properties: Solid at room temperature but gets bent out of shape. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity
    as easily as young fresh samples.

    Chemical Properties: Attempts to bond with Wo any chance it can get. Also, tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes
    explosive when mixed with Kd (element Kid) for prolonged period of time. Pretty basic. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

    Usage: None really, except methane production. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

    Caution: In the absence of Wo, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.


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